Twilight's run out of ideas for new inventions, so she invents something to fix that.

No one said the machine would produce good ideas.

Preread by the lovely csos95, Majin Syeekoh, Arkadios, and ChudoJogurt!

No longer featured by Equestria Daily!

Hearth's Warming songs. Aren't they just the most annoying things ever? Sure, some of them may sound good the first time around, but see if anything still holds up after the hundredth repetition. The gramophone stand sure won't, especially once somepony lands the well-earned kick. And yes, this latest specimen is a fairly new composition, but Twilight already hates Hearth's Warming Wham! on a level usually reserved for falsified scientific proofs. Since nopony is going to be playing anything except holiday songs for the next moon...

And yet Twilight is convinced that it's possible for her to reach the holiday itself without ever having to hear that 'song' again. She's willing to make a wager on that.

She's wrong, of course. That's the fun part.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

If there's a holiday, then somepony's probably overdecorated for it. The Greening has seen entire homes blend into the local grass, while Lambvent shrouds neighborhoods in wool and Hearth's Warming traditionally welcomes guests into homes through making it impossible to see where the front door is. But if Ponyville's going to get dressed up anyway, then Town Hall might as well have a little contest built around it. The mayor signed off on that.

Which meant there was a period of at least two seconds in which Marigold Mare completely forgot her town hosts the Bearers -- and that she'd just given them a reason to compete against each other.

Shall we count down to the inevitable one home visit at a time? In six, five, four, three...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for they don't celebrate Christmas Crackfic.

As is tradition post-Twilight-Really-Messed-Up-The-Multiverse, the Prime Rarityship Council has its latest meeting. What bonds these Raritys together? The simple fact that they’re all dating a different member of their close friend group.

Commission for Dimbulb.

Trixie has read literally dozens of true crime stories. She has no idea why it takes the police so long to solve the crimes when they're so obvious -- especially in hindsight. When a murder happens right in front of her, its her chance to prove her expertise to the doubters and claim her rightful title as the Intelligent and Insightful Trixie, Equestria's Greatest Magical Detective!

Assuming it actually is a murder, anyway.

An entry in the 2023 Whodunnit Contest

Days after her banishment to a new world, Adagio Dazzle stands at the edge of the ocean, hungry. She seeks a morsel not merely of the sea's bounty, but of the power her siren body once wielded, of the knowledge that her days as a dominant force of nature are not yet over.

She has a lot to learn about the human body.

A recipient of an Honorable Mention at the 2023 Iron Author contest at Everfree Northwest, revised and slightly expanded for Fimfiction.

Original cover art by The Sleepless Beholder, who pre-read the final version of the story alongside Dewdrops on the Grass.

Featured on 8/20/23-8/22/23!

Timberwolves. Among the most fearsome creatures to lurk in the depths of the Everfree, these hulking, wooden monstrosities have sharp senses that make them deeply efficient at hunting and tracking ponies and other sentient beings that wander into the forest—and making sure they don't ever leave. Anypony with a lick of common sense knows they're not something to be trifled with, and any (generally ill-advised) venture into the Everfree must be done in groups and/or with extreme caution.

The new species of hairless ape that keeps falling from dimensional portals in the sky into the depths of the forest, however, seems to be entirely lacking in said common sense.

Not to be taken especially seriously. (Not that me saying so is seemingly stopping anyone.) Features implied violence, but no gore.

Pre-read by Dewdrops on the Grass and The Sleepless Beholder. Inspired by discord conversations with Estee about the common "Mandatory Timberwolf Encounter" trope in Human in Equestria stories.

Winner by default of the Dishonorable Creatures Contest I. Featured on 4/19/23-4/20/23!

Rarity generally tries to embrace innovation: after all, a mare who's always trying to stay ahead of the trend (or just outright create it) must be ready to accept the new. And the stress generated by a designer's life creates a certain need to... relax. Something where, quite frankly, spa sessions and private time in the designated screaming room aren't always enough to do it. So what's wrong with following up on a magazine article and personally learning how buffalo meditative techniques have been newly adapted for unicorns?

Absolutely nothing. Unless, of course, she recalls that some of her friends happen to enjoy pranking.

She doesn't always remember that last part in time.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

I don't think you can know Rarity without being at least a little bit scared of her. If you're not, then you don't really know Rarity.

This is the story of how she saved Ponyville one day.

Winner of the Make Rarity Not Garbage Barcast Contest. Preread by Pearple Prose, ScarletWeather, and Estee (who did nothing but stand in the corner in silence while I ranted at them about this story, but by God did that help).

As certain ponies from another world can attest, there’s nothing quite like facing down a dark-winged madwoman’s fell magics to bring a group together. Of course, it wasn’t quite so cut and dry for the Crystal Prep Friendship Games team, not least because their Twilight Sparkle both was said madwoman and left them for greener pastures.

None of them can honestly blame her. Even putting aside all of Twilight’s bad memories at Crystal Prep and the better ones she made during the Games, there’s one argument that might sway even the most die-hard Shadowbolt: Canterlot High has more hotties in its student body than any of them can shake a stick at.

Especially the one who just walked into the diner where they’re having lunch.

So, ladies. Who has first dibs?

Rated T for teenagers being teenagers. Credit to Moproblems Moharmoney for several of the girls' stances on the matter.