The Princesses have invited you to Canterlot to spend some time with them before the big holiday of Hearth's Warming Eve. You have enjoyed your time, but it really is time to be getting back to Ponyville. Then again, what sort of hosts would Celestia and Luna be if they let you, the only human in Equestria, just LEAVE in this cold weather!?

The first story of my December Christmas Carol writing project: this fanfiction is based off of the carol 'Baby, it's Cold Outside!'

Cover art by Probablydnon.

EDIT: Featured 12/4/17!
EDIT: Now with an AUDIO READING by Spore Harvest!
EDIT: Now with a Russian Translation (Русский Перевод) by Magyetash!

An ancient law of Canterlot states that each species present within the city must have an adequate diplomatic representation. There are no exemptions from it, even as far as interdimensionals aliens are concerned. As such, Anonymous the Human must pick up the mantle of an ambassador for humanity, even if he is the sole specimen. Even if he doesn't want to.

But it's not all bad news for him. After all, with such a responsibility also come some privileges. Personal guard detail, generous private mansion, all expenses covered by the crown. And of course, diplomatic immunity. Only that, thanks to the pony magic, the word immunity is taken much more seriously in Equestria.

Proofread by Havana

Ultimately, what Anon learned was to never trust Cadance. (Contains gratuitous Scottish accent)
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Caramel decides to promote stallionism at a Wonderbolt performance. In retrospect, bringing Anon along for support may not have been the best idea.
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Months have passed since the Aliana's Pride, a human starship, landed in Equestria. Now properly integrated in the society of small ponies, the hundred and twenty crewmen have adjusted well enough in the unfamiliar land. All except one, that is. A man who's more concerned with his work than anything else is summoned before Princess Twilight Sparkle, and faces punishment for a severe crime.

\\\\\\//////

Written for CategoricalGrant's 2021 Cuddlefic Contest

Neither Sunburst nor Zephyr did much with their lives. Sunburst subsisted on the bare minimum of his magical talent, while Zephyr coasted from job to job, relying on others. When the two of them happen to meet in a hair salon and strike up a conversation, their pasts come to light in way that would be impossible for any other pony.

This story is a sequel to Celestia's New Assistant

He makes Discord look sane. Most ponies resent him. He is the most chaotic thing to ever live.

Will he save Equestria? Will he doom it? Will Citrus Fruit be involved? More then Likely. Beware, he is...The Human.

"I simultaneously want to know what's going through your head when writing this, and don't want to know what could inspire this." -Love the Changeling

"MOST. RANDOM. STORY. EVER." -jackofalltradez

"I mean... stare too long into the abyss and the abyss stares into you, and the abyss has skittles apparently" -ShadowsAndDust

This story is a sequel to Discord's Assistant

Discord is sick of his human assistant. Too crazy. Even for him, but hey, not his problem any more. Princess Celestia might have a way to deal with him. He's not going to terrorize everypony....right?

"This is the PERFECT THING to read at midnight!" -Dream Seeker
"WHAT ARE YOU ON AND CAN I GET SOME." -Disconcerted
"This has to be the greatest thing I've ever read." -Azurus

A lot of people demanded a sequel, so here it is! I want to thank everyone who helped me. Without you guys I doubt I could have done it.

Proofreading done by SteelxPaladin

Discord suddenly has a protégé of sorts. If only his new student wasn't already a master of the chaotic arts....

Flurry Heart invites a colt over in hopes of getting her first kiss. Her parents have MANY THINGS to say about this.

Art by the amazing Jargon Scott

Reading by Straight to the Point Studios

2nd 3rd Place Winner in the Cadance is a Terrible Mom Competition