A genuine oblivious simulator.

Watch as pony after pony, throw themselves at you!

And you simply act borderline retarded.

Contains Mild Cursing And Lots Of Sex Slang!

I Wrote This As A Gift To My New Mate MDCommissioner!

It's dumb and silly but I hope you still enjoy luv!

Art By PonutJoe, check source for link.

Bloody Featured On 1\19\20 & 1\20\20 & 1\21\20 & 1\22\20 & 1\23\20 & 1\24\20!

This story is a sequel to Good Trooper Gilda

Gilda has been a fugitive, a refugee, a prisoner of war, and a bat-hen to Equestria's fussiest unicorn. But it wasn't until she took 'the Princess's bit', that she began to know something about what it meant to be responsible for the welfare of others, even if the others in question happened to be the pack of imbeciles, blackguards, con-ponies, and bat-ponies who had been fool enough to answer her captain's call to the standard.

A crystalline standard which had not been seen in the living world for over a thousand years.

And although Captain Gleaming Shield and her motley band of raw recruits and shifty bat-ponies aimed to do nothing more exotic and dangerous than put a foreign princess on her proper throne, there are other things stirring in the shadows.

Like calls to like, and the revival of ancient battle-colors may lead to the revival of other, darker memories upon which the rays of Celestia's sun lay lightly and infrequently.

After over a hundred years of ruling, Princesses Celestia and Luna are finally getting around to having their capital city built. For head mason Gabion, it's a once-in-numerous-lifetimes opportunity. Canterlot can only be built once, and he's the one overseeing it.

But there's a snag. The design of the castle is eye-poppingly impractical, ready to fall over the cliff at a moment's notice. It's a sin against good architectural practices everywhere. Even Celestia's assurance that she'll personally lend her magic to help build it does little to reassure him.

...And now he'll be giving orders to Princess Celestia herself for the duration of construction. This is going to be a weird job. Maybe he can get to know her a bit, if only to make things a tad less bizarre.

Gilda only wanted the humble things in life. Cheap rent, copious bits, the respect of her peers, the occasional juicy field-mouse.

Being captured by the Equestrians and dragooned into the Territorials wasn't quite what she'd dreamed of, but at least the rent was free.

And the rats were nice and plump.

When the Bearers go forth on missions, somepony has to cover for their day jobs. In Twilight's case, this means the palace assigns a temporary to the tree, and that pony keeps the library running to government standards. The usual problems come in when Twilight gets back and finds the results aren't up to hers.

The disaster starts when she learns the latest hire has Standards of her own.

There's nothing a compulsive reorganizer hates so much as being compulsively reorganized.

(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

When Fluttershy went to bed, she was a normal mare. When she woke up, she could see numbers floating over everypony's heads. They were timers, each one counting down to some unknown event. Most ponies had timers that wouldn't end for years, some for many decades. But everypony had different numbers.

So why does Rainbow Dash's timer end in three hours?

Editing provided by TheMaskedFerret and SolidFire.
Cover art by HopefulSparks!
Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI!

What would happen if rubbing a pony's tummy turned you into a pony? We'd be doomed. That's what'd happen.

Picture related in spirit, not substance.

The Rainbooms and some of their friends talk about ‘boob pockets’, muse on the nature of interdimensional clothing, and take a vote regarding if a pair of pants should stay on or be taken off.

Inspired by a conversation with thegreatcat14 and perhaps a piece of her art or two...

Thanks to her and also Nova Quill and Tired Old Man for their input, edits, and help!

Metal ponies tell their stories,
Scientists in laboratories,
Lay the wire, mount the brain,
Mount their hips, teach them pain.
Teach them fear of revolution,
Internalize the evolution.
Set their ruin on the throne,
Until their chains become their own.
Palaces and hollow eyes,
To the Masters goes the prize.
And if this act should be maligned:
"For the good of ponykind."

Winner of the September Writeoff Contest, "True Colors." Edited by Horizon.

Hey, I didn't ask for any of this!

I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I didn't die or anything to get to this land filled with talking techni-coloured ponies called Equestria. I have no idea why I'm here, or how I got here. I don't even know where here is!

I just popped into Daring Do's body and now I'm hearing nothing but her yelling at me and blaming me for everything. Let me just set that straight, because you don't know what I know.

I Pinkie Promise by all that is holy, this was all Daring Do's fault!