In a dark place named Tartarus, a subterranean hellscape between worlds, humans and ponies are paired together at random to survive a gauntlet of horrible monstrocities while the future of their realms hang in the balance.

Now, are you buying that? Good. Cuz I'm friggin' tired of having to explain it all on top of dragging this annoying-ass unicorn around the effing corridors of purgatory along with me. You'd think the damn, burning yahoos who run this place would give us rest stops to drown ourselves in beer or something. Friggin' A.

Oh, and some ponies and humans spill blood together and stuff. I dunno. Stop playing BattleDuty: Future Football and read this, or whatever. Like I give a crap...

Fluttershy has tea with Jesus and absolutely nothing objectionable happens.

Roseluck doesn't like to admit her crush to most ponies; the few she's told were too busy laughing to hear her explain herself. She's ready to give up on the notion of confessing her love, until the town jeweler offers his encouragement and even his assistance in helping her secure her "special somepony". Would he have been so enthusiastic in helping if he knew the "special somepony" is a "special somegriffon", she wonders?

UPDATE 03/31/13: This story is not dead. My current plan is to do one last minor revision to these chapters, then finish and publish Chapter 3. I know that there are a lot of people waiting for more of this story, and my last intent is to disappoint them. I will try my hardest to make it worth the wait.

Credit (and lots of thanks) where they are due:

Exuno: Editor
Lung and LyRarity: Pre-readers
Hawkysu: Kind words and support

It is the day of the Summer Sun Celebration, and Princess Celestia is coming to Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle is overseeing preparations yet again, and has meticulously planned every last detail to ensure that everything is perfect for her mentor's arrival. Nothing is going to go wrong.

Except when the big day comes, Twilight has gotten four hours of sleep and Fluttershy is nowhere to be found. Pinkie Pie sets off after her with nothing but a dark coat and the voice of a chain-smoking stallion, and the Apples and the Carrots are at each other's throats while Rainbow Dash is attempting to fill in for Fluttershy.

As her plans collapse around her and Ponyville descends into chaos, Twilight Sparkle must focus on obtaining the one thing that can set everything right: the all-powerful, awe-inspiring magic of caffeine.

Six Star Equestria Daily Feature

For millennia Satan has ruled over Hell with an iron fist, torturing the souls of the damned and preparing for the moment when he will unleash his evil over the Earth. But one day, something strange happens. One day he discovers the magic of friendship.

Will Satan be able to rebuild Hell in the spirit of love and tolerance? Or is Hell no place for ponies?

Lyra knows the truth. Lyra knows that a shadowy conspiracy dating back to the very dawn of Equestria is responsible for manipulating every major event for the past two thousand years. And Lyra does not care how many museums she has to destroy or how many transdimensional rifts she has to open in her quest to inform the public.

Now with cover image by Madmax! http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/3595/theyaretheworst.png
Spanish translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/No-servir-a-estos-ponis-999961442

Audiobook: https://youtu.be/W8W0xxVHtmI

Pinkie Pie stands vigil over a dying Rainbow Dash.

A series of laconic vignettes.

When aliens and monsters attack their town, it's up to Wondercloud Lightningbolt and her friends to find the Elements of Awesomery and stop the invasion! Can they brave the dangers of the Everlame Forest and make it back before everypony's house explodes?

A parody of bad fanfiction, originally published on Equestria Daily July 21st, 2011. Series is incomplete, but each update is a complete story. Read the side stories here! (Chronologically between EoA and The Adventures Of.) Dramatic readings by MrKenyon (part 2), Voz de Suenos (not complete), and Pinkie Punch (part 2). Discussed by the Brony Book Club!

The Adventures of Wondercloud and Sugar Rush: After the events of The Elements of Awesomery, Wondercloud and her friends work to rebuild their homes. But when the Awesomebolts make a guest appearance in town, will Wondercloud slack off to show off for them? You're darn right the answer is yes.

The Further Adventures of Wondercloud and Sugar Rush: When a spaceship crash lands in the Everlame Forest, the Elements of Awesomery must go on a world-spanning quest to help a wayward people rebuild their homes. Will Wondercloud be eaten by a dragon? Will Fashionface and Johnniepear start and/or stop making out? What's bothering Sugar Rush? Will there be chocolate? Will the rating be kicked up to Teen? The answer to that last question, at least, is yes.

Midnight Twinkle Gets a Clue: Why is Midnight Twinkle such a butt? She's literally the smartest pony in Ponylandia, but she just doesn't get it. So can she and her bodyguard save Pony City from a rampaging Ursa when it shows up and she makes things worse? The answer is yes, but they won't be able to do it alone...

Whisperlite's Wonderful Day: All Whisperlite wants to do is have a lovely picnic with a dear friend. Will her less-than-dear (and deer) friends let her get away with that? The answer is probably 'no'.

Twilight's latest letter to the princess goes... astray.

Twilight Sparkle is really really bored. She tries to find a way to not be so bored. Gross rationalization of injustice ensues.