• Member Since 4th Nov, 2014

Gorgeous Freeman


This, right here, is why you should eat Wheaties in the morning. I guess anything would be better than the two shots of vodka I had.

😨
one of those super good once in a lifetime stories that has to have a folder for itself because its just that damn awesome i cannot stress how fuckin 91 stories
Found 68 stories in 54ms

Total Words: 6,163,236
Estimated Reading: 2 weeks

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3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Chapters (19)
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"Sub-Level Five doesn't exist." That's the official statement of the Stairway company.

Washing out from the Night Guard program is usually a death sentence to any similar career. When Astral Sentinel was asked if he was interested in a security job, the Thestral obviously jumped at the chance.

There was just one oddity about the job. Well, there were quite a few, but mainly just one.
He just never, ever could acknowledge the existence of Sub-Level Five.

When a complete lock-down traps the Thestral inside the odd facility, he has to break that one rule. As the security systems begin to eradicate all life inside the building, Astral has to venture down to the elevators that officially don't exist, to a floor nopony alive will speak of.

He soon finds out that some things are best left buried beneath rock and stone.

*Warning. Hitchhikers may be escaped convicts.


"This story is simultaneously horrifying and adorable." -Witchery

Takes place far after Season 9. Although, it could take place at any time...(or in the Radverse, as some people call it.) This thing took on a mind of its own.

Seriously.

Read on if you want to join Astral for the ride.
I hope you brought your crowbar.


In later chapters, loose spoilers for Timeless, Sunspots, and Cure for a Toxin
Warnings for creepy atmosphere, gore, violence, and brief mentions of sexual content/assault (nothing explicit, only implied.)

Despite this being a horror story with unpleasant elements, it's not grimdark or a depressing tale. Lots more ups and downs, but overall it's a positive read of good vs evil, love and fluff; those are the types stories I write, after all. I just want to let everyone know what they're getting into, and don't want any readers blindsided due to some of the content.
(Not a romance involving a 'herd')

Chapters (130)
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One million years ago, in the year 2017 A.D., humanity discovered two new types of radiation that were being emitted from an unknown region up in space. Using the Hubble space telescope, scientists were able to discover that the radiation was being emitted from an asteroid, which was on a direct collision path with Earth. 

These two newly discovered radiation types were dubbed Keifer's radiation (later nicknamed harmonic radiation) and Chaotic radiation. Keifer's radiation was found to be completely harmless to humans and animals, although it was later discovered that Keifer's radiation tended to be attracted to certain animals. Chaotic radiation, on the other hand, was found to be extremely harmful to humans in large amounts, causing fatal mutations to humans. 

The discovered asteroid was found to be over twice as big as the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. In the year 2018, scientists predicted that the radiation was expected to reach fatal, critical levels by the year 2027. The asteroid itself was estimated to only crash into Earth one thousand years later, long after the rest of humanity would be wiped out by the lethal Chaotic radiation.

As a result of this, world leaders got together and began construction of Utopia, a large underground bunker, capable of housing four hundred thousand people, two thousand from each country. The chosen few were gathered together within Utopia and would be the last of humanity.

However, the radiation was estimated to have a half life of at least 1,000,000 years. This led world governments to invest heavily in suspended animation and cryogenic technology. And finally, in the year 2024, the first cryogenic pod was invented, capable of freezing someone for an infinite amount of time, without the need for sustenance, as long as there was a power supply.

Exactly one million years later, the humans reemerged to begin recolonisation... only to find several sentient species currently inhabiting the planet that they once had absolute, unchallenged authority over. 

One of them was humanity, which was able to recolonise and repopulate the planet from the few members of the human race that managed to survive the Second Flood, long before the Utopians woke up. But there was something wrong, humanity was being used as slaves by the ponies and several other species.

How will humanity answer to the fact that Planet Earth (now renamed Equus) is no longer theirs? Will they make peace with the locals, or will they attempt to wipe them off the face of the planet with their stockpile of nuclear weapons, that were there for the very purpose of reinstating human rule if another creature evolved to their level?

[Heavily inspired by the tv series The 100]

Featured from 19/7/21 to 23/7/21

Featured on 25/7/21


This is the old version of this story. The rebooted version is available here:

Beyond Earth Phoenix Rising

Chapters (36)
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Given a unique perspective on negative emotion, less than a foal's knowledge of ordinary magic, a healthy schadenfreude, and danger bearing down on all sides, the self-proclaimed "Weiss Noir" makes no plans accounting for his death, and plans to keep it that way, even after being torn away from earth, turned into a unicorn, and dumped into one of the most inhospitable locations and times in all of Equestria.

Stranded in the Frozen North, a place where biting cold ends lives, and one thousand years in the past, in a time when peril is the norm, rather than the exception, Weiss decides to indulge in sorcery most foul, stolen ideas, and human ingenuity to survive.

Given the choice between a mad slaver and a mad sage, however, there is no avoiding an inevitable tide of ponies escaping the conquered Crystal Empire to bask in the warmth of his well-stoked hate. Something which draws attention, enemies, and most worryingly, the rivalry of his "peers".

Join the Discord for free Discussion!

Chapters (160)
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Anon is tired of the hectic day-to-day of living amongst the ponyfolk and decides to purchase some land in the Everfree to have some peace and quiet all by his lonesome. How much land you ask? All of it

Join me in watching as Anon sorts out the bits and bobs of his newfound assets. It is sure to be a ride, and definitely not a smooth one.

Join our Discord Server here if you want updates as soon as new chapters are posted and dank memes.

Takes place starting shortly after the conclusion of Slice of Life.

Featured for Nine Consecutive days from 6-20-21 to 6-29-21!

Check out the audiobook by Straighttothepoint!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhMoe4RfYz0

Chapters (7)
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Hollow Shades is a small farming and lumberjacking community, a tiny bubble of Equestria smack in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Things have been hard-going since the lumber mill was closed down by its aristocratic owner, and the town is slowly dying. The fate of the town weighs heavily even on the town's youth, with young filly Corn Crib of the Harvests being intimately aware of the fact things aren't going well for her family and friends. And then, a ray of hope comes into her life when she encounters a most unusual figure on the road nearby; a talking scarecrow, one that claims to be Lord Barleycorn, the King of Autumn, who promises to help her however he can. Can the two of them succeed in breathing life back into Hollow Shades?

This is a lighthearted story that contains lots of OCs and an original setting. The mane six will appear, but not until later chapters.

First time featured was May 23, 2014! I can't believe it! Thank you everyone! =3
Now with its own TVTropes page!
Picture was made by my friend Escopeto. He did a fantastic job of representing my story.

Chapters (48)
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After thousands of years inside a pocket dimension, the Crystal Empire returned to the Frozen North. Mere moments after a purchase at comic con, a man was sent to a magical world of mythical creatures as Skeletor. After a short amount of time, the Displaced Skeletor stumbled his way towards the Empire. What happened next? Well, only time would tell.



(I don’t own squat except for the story.)
(Not part of the Displaced multiverse.)
(It is HIE Costume)
(We've got Fan art!)

Chapters (49)
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In the beginning, The Great Weaver brought together the world, from the mountains to the forests. Stitching it together, the Great Tapestry connects all living and nonliving things.

The Changelings found themselves especially connected to this Tapestry. Legend says that the first Changelings fell through the world as it was woven together, only to be caught on the First Weave beneath it all.

But what happens when something else is caught in the Weave?

Prince Phasmatodea, son of Queen Chrysalis, remembers what it was like before he hatched. He remembers being a human. He remembers dying. And he fully intends on avoiding another death.

But being gifted a new life does not matter when one failure, one false step, will lead to your untimely demise in the Changeling hive, for Prince Phasma must survive his toughest adversary from the start: Mother Dearest.


Cover art as of 1/18/21 by Nixworld

Chapters (151)
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Throughout his time in Equestria, Anon has seen a great many things - that being said, he's in for a first. The strange behemoth is as beautiful as she is baffling, leaving the man in a bit of a pickle. What does one do when faced with a literal giant of a pony?

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)
Big shout-out to MiddyNight (Twitter @Middynight_) for help with the Scottish accent for her!

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Chapters (5)
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For the first Nightmare Night since her crowning ceremony, Twilight chose to organise a celebration of sorts in Canterlot. Some nobles suggested a play. Some, a parade. An end to the discussions came when Pinkie suggested both.

It came to happen, unfortunately, that just hours before the playrade one of the actors twisted his ankle. The one tasked with playing the role of Death. Once again, Pinkie came to the rescue with her own solution.

Twilight really wished she hadn't.

Chapters (1)