At least they tried... · 2:32pm Oct 24th, 2022
Even though they know Alex' special touch doesn't work on males, that doesn't stop some adventurous stallions from seeing if he'll...try batting for the other team...
Late one night, as Alex is sitting at home, alone, reading...
>knock knock<
Alex looked up at the door. "Now, who could that be...?" He got up and opened it, then looked down. There stood a pony in an absurd plumber's outfit, wearing an obviously fake, bushy mustache. He looked up at the big Human and smiled.
"Heeey! I hear you got some..."plumbin'" problems with yer various "pipes" and whatnot!"
Alex stared down at him. "What? No, and it's like 11 at night, dude."
The pony's grin became even sleazier. "Sir, we are a 24-hour service. We will service your "pipes" any hour of the day!"
"That sounds kinda weird."
The "plumber" frowned. "What does?"
Alex sighed. "You, showing up in the middle of the night, asking to service my "pipes." He raised his fingers to make the air quotes.
At this, the stallion took on an indignant air. "Sir! I'm gonna have to ask you to leave! You are causing a scene in this establishment!"
Alex looked around. "This...this is my house!"
"Sir! Don't make me call the police!"
Before Alex could reply, another stallion showed up, wearing a policeponies' uniform. "Too late!" he declared. "I'm already here!" He flashed his badge and said, "My name is Officer Dick. Dick Savage. We received a noise complaint. What seems to be the problem?"
Alex stared at him with a flat expression. "You received a noise complaint and got all the way over here in 40 seconds?"
"Sir! We are the best police department in Equestria, ready to satisfy allll your needs and desires, 24 hours a day!"
Alex looked at him, then at the "plumber," and back. "Okay: are you really a police officer?"
"Officer" Dick hitched up his belt. "Yep! Twelve years on the force, Sir! Why?"
"Because the way you're describing the police makes it sound like you're a male escort service."
"Excuse me?!"
The "plumber" chimed in. "He pulled the same crap on me!"
"Officer" Dick stepped closer. "Sir, I'm gonna have to put you in cuffs, and frisk you for any dangerous "weapons" you may be carrying!"
As Alex stepped back, yet another stallion showed up, this time dressed as a postal worker. "Hey! "Male" pony here! I've got some..."male" for your..."slot!"
Alex stared at them all. "Okay: There's no way you guys aren't doing this on purpose."
The "postal worker" continued as if he hadn't heard. "I've got a LARGE package from Mister Rod!"
The "plumber" grinned. "You got a "large package" for me? I'm expecting a delivery of nuts!"
"Officer" Dick butted in with, "We still have this noise complaint to deal with." He started to unbuckle his pants. "I'm about to lay down the Law all OVER this place!"
Before he could finish, yet one MORE stallion barged in, carrying a pizza. "Somebody order a pizza?" He opened the box, revealing it to be distinctly phallic-shaped. "A large, hawt and steamy pizza, extra sausage?!"
That was it! Alex pushed them out, saying, "No, no, no, everyone get out!" They all clambered out with cries of "Hey!" and "No way!" and finally "Fuck you, too!"
As Alex was halfway back to his chair, he heard one more knock on his door. He grit his teeth, went back to it, and flung it open. But instead of the crowd of stallions, there stood a lone one, without a costume, who simply smiled up at him. "Yes?"
The stallion grinned again. "Hi! I'm here to have sex with you! For money!"
Parody of this video:
Well at least the last one wasn't rude about it.