Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #28 · 6:30pm Sep 12th, 2022
September really is a rather quiet month once you’ve no new year of education for it to mark. Not close enough to the holiday season for the media blitz to start (sans the last week, of course, and not just in the world of MLP), hardly anything at the cinema* or in gaming (I’m sure Splatoon fans would like a word on that), rarely any big intended events – not like the Queen planned to kick the bucket last week – and so forth. I mean, there’s not nothing, especially for me: passing 4 years of employment’s no small feat, got a cousin’s wedding coming up. But nothing relevant here, not now anyway.
Still, it can mean what’s around often is of better overall quality. Take today’s Ponyfic reviews: bit of a light batch this week, certainly the shortest word count in a while, not even cracking 21K. On the other hand, the quality is really solid; I do believe this is the first week with three Really Good stories, not to be sniffed at. Presumably, even if you prefer reading novellas and novels round here, you’re game for short stories if they’re up to snuff. Well, these are. Read on, Macduff! Hopefully you haven’t read them before. 
* On the other hand, the 40th anniversary re-release of E.T. and the accompanying reissue of Jaws have just made their way over here, and I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing either at the cinema. So, you know, you get bonuses in dry spells. 
I don’t doubt that, though I’ve seen both several times, they’ll be better than any other film I’ve seen/will see this year. Especially as Jaws reportedly has a new sound mix – for IMAX, anyway – much better than the muted home media releases.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
The Guard of a Different Stripe by Rego
The Contingency Letter by TCC56
Barrelled Up by KitsuneRisu
My Path by Silver Moon
Be Good to Your Daughters, For They Become Mothers by Posh
Weekly Word Count: 20,900 Words
The Guard of a Different Stripe by Rego
Genre: Romance/Adventure/Comedy (Alt. Universe)
Zecora, Fleur de Lis, Rarity, Changelings, Fancy Pants
10,740 Words
March 2022
What was supposed to just be an appointment to show off cosmetics from her herbal collection to a member of the Canterlot elite for Zecora soon turns into much more. An interception by rogue changelings, a deception by an undercover royal guard: it’s not an ordinary day even for the zebra. But she embraces it wholeheartedly. Might have something to do with said guard lighting her flame in all the right ways.
Literally the first thing one will notice about this Judge Prize winner from the March 2022 Crackship Contest is that it’s all in rhyme. Not just Zecora’s words, but the non-dialogue too (which has the extra wrinkle of all being couplets, meaning not just coming in pairs, but having an identical number of syllables). Sounds like a recipe for disaster, and yet Rego (with help from his editor TheAncientPolitzanian) pulls it off so magnificently, creating a piece that breathes like silk and flows like water, much of it making for exquisite poetry. And unlike some poetry-type fics around, there is nothing difficult about reading this; it hits the balance of being clever and sophisticated in its gimmick while remaining easily acceptable.
With that out of the way, the fic has plenty of space to lean into the absurdity (or, well, the nor-normality) of its pairing and the heightened adventure and espionage crafted for them. Fans of Royal Guard Fleur (as popularised by the excellent fan comic in the style and aesthetic of the IDW comics) will especially like her usage here (that she speaks in a far lower register when not posing as Fancy’s companion was my favourite touch). Given this is from Zecora’s POV, who has a pretty shallow but honest list of attributes she wants (tall warrior mares), and Fleur’s inability to shed her model-like body regardless of how much toning she does up… getting a vibe for the tone yet? The ship is corny as all get-out, and the story doesn’t hesitate to simplify other aspects to suit that or the plot (namely the reason for the changeling subterfuge, though Fancy being the most idiotic I’ve ever sene him must surely qualify too), and it makes no apologies for this.
No apologies are necessary. It’s a knowingly daft fic (without being truly random or absurd, which I think makes it more longer-lasting; there’s some grounded aspects to the material that make it stick), bouncing from espionage to adventure to heavy attraction, all filtered through a fantastic Zecora voice (when you’ve emigrated to as peaceful a nation as Equestria, and usually get left out of the main action the Mane 6 attract, something like this is right up your alley) with a gimmick that feels 100% natural, sustained for over 10K. Even if I was laughing at the fic’s content more than anything, I was at least laughing with it. No mean feat!
Rating: Really Good
The Contingency Letter by TCC56
Genre: Drama (w/Death)
Twilight, Celestia
2,192 Words
April 2021Reread
Listened to via StraightToThePointStudio's reading
Given there has never been a shift in the ruling sovereign of Equestria for over a millennium, it’s no surprise Twilight’s transition has brought with it just as many complications. Many of the kind that will happen when you have a sole ruler who gets hooves-on and doesn’t have many of her procedures documented. In the midst of properly formalising much of this, and distributing the duties, Twilight finds, stored among many old papers of Celestia, a letter. A letter addressed to Twilight. Not Princess Twilight, but Twilight. One unfamiliar to her.
Oh, this is magnificent every time I come back to it (this is my third time reading it: more on that later). Tackling Celestia leaving a contingency letter in case one of her plans doesn’t work out is enough of a striking high concept as it is, and making said plan revolve around her being lost during Nightmare Moon’s return is even more of a “yes, we need this” idea. All that’s left is to make the most of that idea, striking a balance between Celestia explaining things pragmatically, imploring Twilight to understand and to forgive Luna, earnestling vowing that she did engineer a plan involving Twilight but Twilight’s success, abilities and talent are fully her own, and others aspects in between them. And boy, does TCC56.
If I had to pick a flaw out of this, it’s that, while the letter does fully feel like a letter (and given how much Celestia has to explain, it being over 1,500 words long fits), I think a little more truncating up could have smoothed over the very rare writing hiccup. Because this is a fic that gains immense power behind the implications of how Celestia phrases aspects (calling the Elements a weapon when referring to her last use of them and not yet considering that Nightmare Moon and Luna were the same entity being two especially striking examples), and whallops the reader that bit more from doing the work throughout to realise what each part truly means, that a bit more of that would have been even greater.
Still, that truly is a nitpick, and in lieu of how powerfully emotional this piece is (rarely has a letter written by Celestia felt from her heart so much, to the point that I don’t recommended listening to Straight’s reading of this, his fast reading peace and lack of pauses hurt a piece like this quite a bit), it’s still a phenomenal piece I feel everyone should give a look in. Amazing feat for a post-show fic, you’d think more of them would mine the show’s early years for content that gains more emotional power from the time that has passed.
Rating: Really Good
Also: turns out this was one of the last fics I read (reread, point of fact) before I started doing reviews, and simply forgot to rate and mark as such. Course, I didn’t realise this, or notice I’d left one of my mini-review comments on the fic, until after I’d reread it and wrote this review. But! I still got a review out of it, and it’s a corking fic, so I’m posting this anyway.
Barrelled Up by KitsuneRisu
Genre: Comedy
Rarity, Applejack, Spa Ponies
1,984 Words
March 2013Reread
Rarity’s noticed Applejack sneaking off to the spa more and more lately. Curiosity ain’t killing this cat, so soon enough, she confronts Applejack at the locale to find out what’s going on. Cornered and with nowhere to run, Applejack has no choice but to come clean…
You can tell this fic was written rather quickly for a writing exercise, for it brushes past the setup pretty speedily, though with some delicate language befitting Rarity’s curiosity that makes it suffice. The same can be said for the mid-material of Rarity grilling Applejack inside the spa: it’s standard cute friendshipping tipping into romance that is a little better than the standard, though it’s also where Applejack’s phonetic dialogue and turns of phrase feel the most off.
This leaves us with a mildly diverting fic, except the final third has a payoff I daren’t spoil. Suffice to say it makes the fic a great choice for a story to fill in a few minutes with, it’s that satisfying. And even the rest of the material is still quality enough. I’m not a fan of Feghoots at all, but their cousin of twist comedy endings? Gimme the best, and this is one of the solid entries.
Rating: Pretty Good
My Path by Silver Moon
Genre: Sad/Slice of Life
Fluttershy
1,555 Words
August 2013Reread
Fluttershy is afraid of the Everfree Forest. Even more so than most ponies. But there is one path she isn’t afraid of. One path she walks every week. Because there’s someone she visits every week, and thanks to that frequency, her path is safe.
The core draw here is trying to figure out exactly who or what it is that Fluttershy is visiting, and why she can only do so in the Everfree. The fic holds its cards close enough, revealing nothing directly and opting for coy, evasive language that does manage to fit in the moment. I also liked how this is early in the show’s timeline, with the events of the Season 1 two-parter less than a year past. The setup and pacing are well-handled too, allowing for a successful 1st person Fluttershy POV that portrays her timidness mixed with her kindness and gentleness well.
The reveal of the core question is rather unimaginative, or at least a little disappointing, and that plus the fic’s slightness puts a cap on how much it can do. But within those parameters, it’s more than acceptable.
Rating: Decent
Be Good to Your Daughters, For They Become Mothers by Posh
Genre: Drama
Granny Smith, Pear Butter
4,429 Words
March 2018Reread
It’s been weeks since Bright Mac’s wife moved in, and Granny Smith still can’t see past her being Grand Pear’s daughter. Untold years of a feud will cause anyone to be set in their ways. So when Bright Mac is off making a lengthy delivery, leaving the two mares alone, Granny is even more brittle at every attempt Pear Butter makes to be friendly, or to help out. Yet she keeps trying, determined to not be parentless.
You like stories inspired by The Perfect Pear, right? Of course you do. You’ll be happy to hear this is one of the best one you’re likely to find. Already, basing it from Granny Smith’s viewpoint is unusual enough, and what sets even this apart is how much this gets inside her headspace, and how much she’s determined to maintain a cold shoulder against Buttercup. Even when she’s been rather tough and brittle, the fact that the incidents are split between her being naturally tough and having to really force it lends credibility to the proceedings. You’ll likely be pleading for Granny Smith to hurry up and warm up to Buttercup, but be glad for the immense character interiority Posh brings here.
Not that it’s a one-way street; Bright Mac does well in his brief appearance, but Buttercup herself maintains a great balance of being sweet and naive, with all her attempts to do farmwork irritating Granny due to the pear-based methods she instinctively uses, whilst being quietly determined and unrelenting to keep trying. A depiction of Fluttershy-type will, and showing different kinds of will, that’s always good. Of course, it’s only when it slips after one incident that Granny Smith’s armour is cracked enough to hear Buttercup out, leading us into the title.
Despite the catharsis from the pair making up, and Granny Smith not being softened too much, the ending seems a bit rushed and slightly convenient. Not a disappointment, just a little less nuanced and organic then what came before. But that’s a minor quibble, and it leaves us with a must-read Apple backstory snapshot.
Rating: Really Good
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 0
Really Good: 3
Pretty Good: 1
Decent: 1
Passable: 0
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
I think this may be the first time I have ever had someone say I should write shorter. As somebody who almost entirely does short/flash fiction, it's kinda funny.
That said - thank you for the kind words. Contingency Letter is one of my best and favorites, and I'm quite pleased that it continues to be received well.
pears are the fruit of cowards and Granny Smith is correct to chastise her.
5685916
I mean, I am splitting hairs there a bit. A tendency I have is that, when reviewing a Really Good fic that is just barely shy of making it to the top tier of Excellent, I feel obliged to state why it didn't. In this case, it's being from a supremely polished piece with every line shaped for maximum effect, and one that would be that bit more powerful with just a little trimming here and there across its length. Probably not even 100 words' worth. Only relevant, again, for being such an economical piece that gains power from that. I've been following your writing for a long time now, as you know; your proclivity for one-shots (with an average word count of not even 6K) has not escaped me!
Let's not miss the forest for the trees though, buddy, it is a phenomenal work, and I totally see both why it remains one of your favourites and why it continues to be adored. Not that I'm new to it*, I read it first when it was new! But any work I've now read thrice deserves that level of praise.
[* Though this is the first time I've reviewed one of your fics, I rated twelve before I did reviews, all in my public rating bookshelves. And there's others I've read before I rated at all, and which I needed to reread. Bottom line, I know your work pretty well.
Oh, and I'm also reading First Hoof Account as it updates. Phenomenal fic!]
5685917
…In lieu of Fimfiction having a confused/perplexed reaction alongside the Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down for comments, I shall instead let the following ponies encapsulate my reaction to… what you just said.
I am also inadvertently realising I've reviewed this fic after doing two of yours last week. Scheduling oversight, whoops! I usually try to not review the same author less than four weeks after having done so.
Guess it's good for you, though, given the reception afforded to them. 
Rego's story was something that's lingered at the edge of my radar, but I was always too afraid to read it.
There's no real reason for me to be afraid. It's just that, well, I had to do a lot of rhyming work for one of the episodes on EOJ - full on testimonies and explanations - that I've become a little too sensitive to how people tend to write Zecora lol.
Don't write rhymes, kids, for any extended period of time.
(but I'll still check it out since it still seems like an excellent story)
5685925 I will never complain about being complimented thrice in two weeks.
I will prepare for you my father’s aubergine stew.
Glad you had a good time with the fic, Mike. This one came out of equal parts excitement and spite. I'd been threatening to write a first-person Zecora fic on the Discord for a while to get folks who refuse to write her in rhyme something to throw at them. If I can do 10K, you can do 40.
When I saw the Crackship contest, I thought it'd be the perfect vehicle. I had to sacrifice story depth for the gimmick, but I figured I was already do a figurative line of cocaine with Zecora being the narration that I should keep other aspects simple. What really saved it for my personal quality standards were sprinkling in little character details and serious moments amid the couplet chaos.
It's straightforward, corny, and predictable, but I tried to make sure the heart was still in there. I hope that came across as the coincidences piled up. Also, admittedly was working from the old due date and didn't see I had an additional two weeks when I submitted the entry. Either way, always glad to see folks laughing and enjoying it.
5685929
Oh? That was you? I really loved your work on that! I can attest to needing to get out of Zecora brain after writing this crackship. I couldn't write for two weeks after that.
Hey, A Really Good I haven't read! On the list it goes!
5685954
Was about to ask which one, even though I figured it was the most recent of the three. Then I realised I could just check your Kindle bookshelf to see.
A ghost does derp his way through life.
But yeah, it's okay to have mostly highly-rated fics you've read populating these, as long as I occasionally find a new one for you. Besides, as you yourself admitted, you've got plenty to read your way through as it is! As if 18m+ words won't take years to work through…
5685949
Do you mean that in the sense of them having Zecora in a supporting role in their 40K stories, or having a Zecora-centric story that's 40K? Because if the latter, you're assuming a lot buddy, and also downplaying your own skills, if you're "only" capable of doing for 10K what you believe others in this discord group (
) can do for 40K.
It did. Earnest heart can help make a corny fic, and that very much applies here. I don't know if I enjoyed it enough to reread it, but I did enjoy it enough to feel just about everyone should give it a look (it helps your have cover art that is just the aces). Hence the Really Good rating.
Did you just leave it be at that point, or polish it up a bit before the end date? I suspect the answer is the former, but you never know.
Anyway, props on churning our a cracking (
) fic! You're written few enough stories (and even fewer that look appealing to me, frankly – Octavia and/or Vinyl stories are rarely my cup of tea), so I don't know when next we might see a fic of yours round these parts. But hopefully not an infinitely long time. I'll try to have it not be too long. 
5685960
I mean writing forty words. Just forty. I once went through someone's fic that had Zecora in it and changed their dialogue for them in an editing pass in about an hour, changing about 200-300 Yoda-speak worded dialogues to couplets and they still were like "That's still too difficult. I'm just going to do Yoda-speak." A month later, I saw the crackship contest posting and decided to shoot them in the face with it.
The relationship and attraction had been established and i was at the entrance to the sewers for the action pieces with only a few days before the deadline without editing. I knew how long it'd take to edit anything further, so I decided that the actual apprenshion of the invading changelings wasn't the point of the fic, so I sped through it to get back to the ship. The sewer could've lasted a lot longer.
They're not Octavia X Vinyl if that helps. If you just aren't fond of the character, I totally get that. It takes a lot for me to read a Spike fic. Most fics I've read that have Spike in it over the past few months have been fics I've edited or preread. The further out I get from the running of the show, the more I realize just how much I disliked that lizard.
If you do want something else of mine to dive into that is more reflective of what I enjoy writing, Unchanging Truths might be a better sample. No Vinyl or Tavi there.
Goddamn was that last one good. I love stories about Apple/Pear drama. :D
Well, looks like my RiL list is going to grow again, with The Contingency Letter in particular definitely getting pushed up the queue a bit. A fic that short that has such a glowing review and that its author really likes has to be worth the time, right? Posh has a noted aversion to writing bad stories anyway, so that one's good showing isn't a surprise. A shame the Fluttershy fic is the weakest this week, albeit not terrible. The early-series setting appeals, though, and I always appreciate fics that give the Everfree its due, so at under 1,600 words I think I'll give it a look anyway.
5685970
Evidently I forgot how to read…
I was talking more about the characters individually, though the ship itself is a Hard No (exceptional fics excepted) while the characters are more uphill battles. Enough that I seriously consider “am I going to personally enjoy this fic, irrespective of its quality?” before reading. You know yourself, sure.
If you didn’t know, Spike is my 2nd favourite character in FiM, behind Applejack (not the same as the best, to clarify). So, you know, this does make me rather sad. For while I’ve come across several folks placing Spike a few tiers below the Mane 6, finding him to not have nearly the same breadth and depth of characterisation and unique personality identifiers not tied to his connection to other characters (and honestly, they’re not the worst arguments for this fandom, not by a long shot), I’ve never before met outright dislike. Not gonna ask why or object to it, evidently you have your reasons. But it does make me rather glum.
Very true, though couple waiting on it to complete (with very few exceptions, I only read finished fics these days) and it already being 50K now (and I’ve no idea how far you’re into it, percentage-wise), and I wouldn’t hold your breath on seeing it anytime soon.
5685973
Least they’re (mostly) short fics! Though I do sometimes wonder if I’m perhaps the core catalyst for the size of your RiL being in status rather then continuing to drip downward.
But yes, there are pretty quality one-shots we got going on here, my friend.
Yeah, much as Flat-Earth Fluttershy was a softer hit for you relative to me, I think this one will be the reverse. I can see it scraping a three-star rating on your system and criteria. It’s never easy for a fic this short to stand out here anyway, they can’t all be like those thousand-word contest entries you looked at last month.
5685957
It's The Guard of a Different Stripe. It would take you quite a while to go through my bookshelves, I think!
5685977
Didn't know that, but that's the thing about shows with large casts of characters, we can like and dislike different things. Just gotta not hate on each other for our tastes. I can't handle spicy food, doesn't mean other folks can't enjoy it. AJ is high on my favorite list.
One thing to clarify. I never ask folks to read for the sake of review. If folks want to review it, I am very flattered and will always enjoy the criticism and conversations that occur like this one. Thought I'd point you to it for casual readership, espcially knowing now you like AJ. I'm in the same boat as you in not starting incomplete fics. Been burned by fiction limbo before myself (Looking at you Photo Dash).
Anyway, Thanks for checking out my corner of fimfic and the watch! Hope you enjoy what my brain comes up with regardless if you review it or not. I just want folks to enjoy themselves if they like what I do.
5685983
I mean, I did say I just checked your public Kindle bookshelf, and it was right at the top, meaning it only took twenty seconds to find out, so…
And given that one was the newest of the three here, only published six months ago, I suspected it was likely that fic anyway.
5686083
I forget that my To-Be-Read-(sigh)-Eventually shelf is public!
Your comment spurred me to go through my shelves and update them, so thanks for that! It's a shame how many potentially good fics I'm following haven't updated in more than a year and had to be added to my Dust Tomes shelf, but I does reinforce my decision not to start reading a fic before it's finished.