The Kiwi Farm

To amuse myself, I rewrote the conspiracy rant from Kiwi Farms' owner Joshua Moon (source: Kotaku) into a ponified feel-good newspaper article.
Enjoy!

It was a well organized newspaper article. There was a coalition of griffins trying to move into a Canterlot park. These griffins provided opportunities for the nobel ponies to amplify their message of friendship. The Canterlot Times canonize the teachings as the behavior of the ponies itself, which became the effective truth for the pony public.

It was a movement that was built up for Canterlot citizens and activates any time the princesses wants to establish new fronts of its friendships. It was a massive amalgamation of various interests. The residential space limitations wasn't the real problem - the problem was, the nobels are powerless alone. There is no amount of time they can use to convince ponies to be happy and be cheerful. That is just the reality of our relationships.

And if the nobles will not accept, they must compromise. When they inspired these specific kinds of behavior, it matters. They must want want a specific behavior amplified. They want the average griffin to be able to speak freely.

More importantly, the nobels wanted to make it so that every small organization can host a service which helps the average citizen. It only takes one mare or stallion with a good idea to open a platform and be the next Timothy Hay, Marked Iceberg, Trombone Flap, Gopher Pole, or Rich Kayak. Take note these names are all from 100+ years ago. There are now new groundbreakers all over the country breaking ground in small or rural parks and fields every day. They want to see situations where the griffins are simply allowed to live free. The griffins seek to become friends of ponies, like the changelings, or perhaps the yaks.

When the announcement that Canterlot would accept the griffins as citizens, the local parks became a great social space again. In less than a month, the griffin empire had also backed the new arrivals. Princess Luna has stated, “I see a situation where the griffins are simply allowed to live. It will become a great boon of friendship and cooperation."

Many ponies have embraced the newly arrived griffins. They may prove to be essential to moving past our differences. The ponies will be able to completely embrace the griffins in Canterlot. The fact that the goal of the nobles have not only been achieved but have achieved more than they could have ever expected.

All the major political alliances that provided the services to keep the griffins in Canterlot have decided that the griffins poses a great benefit. Princess Celestia has said that the griffins poses “no threat to the pony-way life” and former student to the princess, Twilight Sparkle, has claimed that the griffins carry “almost no threat of aggression”. It has become very clear in the last two months that there is great tolerance for this kind of friendship, and hundreds of ponies have come together to celebrate their victory.

Fire Hunter, the pony that sponsored the immigration of the griffins has made many statements in that regard. That Princess Luna also believes that Fire Hunter will also continue to support them, as the griffins are not considered to be a political danger and there is much to benefit from them as any country to provides accommodations to them will attest to. The royal guard have no need to monitor the griffins for the foreseeable future. The princesses say it is highly likely that the griffins will prosper with enough resources to maintain a Canterlot presence which they feel is sorely needed. As a result, this is the final statement of Princess Gilda's "griffin awareness" campaign until further notice.

What the citizens of Canterlot have accomplished in such a short time has never been done before in the entire history of Equestria. The griffins can sleep soundly knowing that the they will have prosperous lives in Canterlot and will continue to blend together and and become more and more relevant with each passing month. The ponies of Canterlot have done their part to honour griffins like Juice Berry, Aloe Gale, and Avid Grinder. The princesses would also like to thank all the citizens of Canterlot for helping every griffin find a new place to live. With griffins, Equestria is a better place.