Story review #18 · 5:47am Sep 5th, 2022

Story review #18: Diamonds of Starburst —by Lula-Crystal.

Character’s:
Disclaimer; I’m only cover Trixie and Stardust
because this gif has a lot of characters and they are the core characters.

Trixie: I like you’re depiction of Trixie quite a bit despite her not being the most accurate to her canon self. My only major complaint is that she didn’t freak out more at Stardust being dropped off at her wagon in the first chapter I think Trixie would have a panic attack if that happened in the show. But overall Trixie is fun!

Stardust: She is alright I guess not my favorite and definitely not my least favorite OC I’ve ever read. But that’s pretty much how I can describe the small Pegasi an OC. Sure she has her moments but overall she is okay 👌

I think the characters all around are a decent push off point for someone to get into the story.

Premise: A small pony (who wasn’t always a pony.) is dropped outside of Trixie’s wagon and the 2 of them then must venture out to find 6 diamonds to stop the villain Dark Matter.

I’m going to be as honest as I can while the concept is decent the execution is rough and the pacing leaves much to be desired.

Grammar and punctuation: its not amazing but it ain’t awful. It has some errors throughout and struggles a bit. That’s being said it ain’t the worst I’ve read so it gets a pass from me.

Dialogue: this story suffers from a case of wanting to rush through the dialogue and the conversation to get the next story point. Which is something many authors, stories, and fanfiction writers suffer from myself included.

Flaws: as stated above dialogue and pacing are the two pitfalls this story suffers from.

Highlight’s: TRIXIE!!!!! And the concept of the story is interesting enough to keep my interest piqued.

But as always those are just my 2 cents and I recommend you check out the story yourself and form you’re own opinion. I also wanna add a special message to Lula-Crystal don’t be discouraged by my opinion keep writing and keep learning/frowning as a writer. It can be rough out there but you can always improve.

Rating: 💎💎💎💎 4/10 diamonds

Story link: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/504381/diamonds-of-stardust