Reading Reaction #1 part 8 · 10:43am Aug 27th, 2022
Chapter 22: Magic training
Boulders? Why are there boulders in front of Twilight’s castle?
Should we really be surprised by Twilight’s strange choice in this universe?? 
Twilight waved a hoof in front of my eyes to wake me up from the trance I was in. She glanced at the book in my dark field. “Am I to understand you’re intrigued by the magic described in the book and want my help in understanding it further?” She kept nodding at me. “The book didn’t bore you at all and made you want to read even more. Am I right? Please tell me I’m right! You’re the only pony who borrowed a serious book from my library in days. I can’t afford to lose you too.”
THIS SCENE IS CANON!!! Twilight would legit freak out at someone being as into magic or reading as she was.
Her ears shot up, eyes sparkled. The corners of her mouth drifted ever higher.
“...you have no idea how delighted I am to hear you ask that, Sweetie Belle!” Her eyes spread wide.
Twilight’s focus stayed fixed on me and it looked as if she intended to eat me. The gigantic smile on her face grew ever bigger. “Can I hug you right now?”
I’m afraid for Sweetie’s life now. She has awoken the Book Horses true power……
…..obsessing over everything 
“I wanted to get different sizes. Earlier today, I even tried to borrow Tom, but your sister wouldn’t let me move it. She said something about Tom hiding her dirty little secrets.” Twilight shook her head. “I think she still hasn’t fully recovered from Discord’s mind-wipe.”
Having Tom be in this story is genius as he was most definitely the most underrated character of season 2.
“Yes, it was.”
Mood.
She froze with a forehoof still in the air, both eyebrows raised high. She swallowed her saliva and finished the sentence. “…to me.”
Twilight still gives me predator energy though I’m sure it’s nothing. So I’m going to choose to ignore that vibe and assume she cares in a mentor mentee sort of way.
Very interesting chapter though and I very much enjoyed the magic system you’ve set in place.
I didn’t have much commentary on the technical side of the magic and then explaining it but I think you’ve excelled at character and mechanics thus far.
Chapter 23: Detection Spell
“I’m not sure I’m getting through to you, Sweetie Belle…”
That’s very obvious…..
“Can I try it?” I asked.
“I haven’t shown it to you yet.”
“Oh, okay. Can you show it to me, then?”
Me and my nieces and nephews every time they come over to my house.
I did as she said. I spread out my channels in the straight plain above the ground. They were curved a bit. If I pushed my inner flow through them, I could straighten them, but I wasn’t supposed to do that. I tried my best to flatten all the curves with my focus alone.
I’m actually kinda surprised that she is listening and do it the proper way. Hopefully she begins to more receptive of everything Twilight is saying but unfortunately I think it’s more likely to go the other way and end up with her defying Twilight in some way.
I opened my eyes and floated the object before my instructor’s confused face. “See!” What I held was much more than a mere grain. It was a translucent rock, nearly the size of Twilight’s butt cheek.
That’s a hefty gem 💎 most gems in the show are Tom sized or tiny ones that can be held in hooves so butt size is an interesting middle ground.
“It called for me,” I said simply.
Ahh hell no as soon as I hear that I’m booking it to the police I’ve seen enough horror movies to know that’s a bad sign.
I shrugged my shoulders and formed another shield on the ground, grabbing the hole with a bunch of earth around it. I softly lay the crystal in the cradle and covered it up with a blanket of earth. The surface on that spot had been flat before. It was anything but flat as I jumped over it. I glanced back at the big hump of earth. It looked sweet; kind of like a grave pile.
Sweetie’s perception of the world in this fic is truly a fascinating storytelling device and part of me is wondering if you are tricking us by pulling the old unreliable point of view makes us see the story differently then it actually is…
Chapter 24: Books
“It’s an analysis of an area in the realm of my expertise. The one you can grow in immensely.”
FRIENDSHIP!!!
“Magic!” I jumped on the spot.
Well in a way….
….because Friendship is magic and Sweetie definitely needs an overhaul in friendship and morality.
“I’m already good. But this is just the beginning. I think I can get even better. The possibilities are endless. I want to know what else I can do.”
The dark undertones here of someone thinking they are good at that progress is more important then the concept of morality is a little too realistic.
That was against my wishes. I paused to think of something I could say to make her give me the book. Her resistance was bothersome!
Sweetie's word choice are getting more and more tyrannical dictator/smart psychopath with every chapter and it’s a nice subtle touch.
“Sweetie Belle, where did you pick up this new vocabulary of yours? The words you’re using—how do you know them?”
Even Twilight picked up in the change in dialogue and vocabulary from the corrupted filly.
“My home—my rules!” She levitated the book back to its shelf.
I heard that phrase all too often as a teenager 
They whispered to me, and I heard myself murmur in response, “Crystals...”
Holy balls I just realized the dark presence, the ominous word choices, the psychopathic vibe from Sweetie, Dark crystals, and now a line that almost feels like a certain big bads Crystalssssss line. It’s Sombra isn’t it?
I feel so stupid that I didn’t connect the dots before this.
Twilight sighed and turned to me. “Don’t worry about the forced non-consensual touches, Sweetie Belle. You’re not a bad pony, despite how you violated my body. Next time, if you ask for my permission first, you won’t have to worry about repercussions. Wouldn’t that be much more pleasing for everypony involved?”
That sounds so incredibly weird when phrased that way. Twilight stop sounding like a predator!!!
“Um…” Spike lifted an eyebrow. “I don’t mean to disturb your ‘you time’, but I made some cookies.”
I’m just as weirded out as you Spike. 
I felt a hoof on my head curving the hair of my mane. The hard protrusion chafed as it slid down my neck. Then, the violator rose and landed on my head again. I clenched my teeth. The defiling hoof flattened my mane in its path while it drifted down. My body tightened ever more. The lavender appendage rose and pressed down on my head again!
I visibly am disturbed by the wording that you use with scenes like this. It’s effective to be sure so effective in fact that it get more of a shudder reaction out of me then any other fanfiction I’ve ever read. But it’s the only part of the story I’m not really a fan of…
Spike burst out of the room, “Twilight! I’ve had enough of this!” He pressed his claws at his sides as he glared at her. “Do we need to have a talk about the age difference and consent again?”
Is she really a predator??? Was my joke/vibe correct?
“And I don’t care about how Celestia used to take care of you! I don’t want to hear any more of the stuff you’ve been exposed to!”
This goes so much further then I was expecting Celestia touched Twilight while being her “mentor” and now Twilight is doing the same to her student. Freaky how realistic that is if it’s truly the case.
“Yeah, right… Touching your life-bound shield in the middle of the night—not what it looks like. The thing you do on library’s floor—not what it looks like. It’s never what it looks like with you. That phrase is always your ‘go to’ excuse…” Spike pointed two nails at his eyes then at her. Slowly, he backtracked toward the room. “I’m keeping my eyes on you, Princess.” He glanced at the pile of books beside him. “And no cookies for you, princess!” His arm pointed at Twilight accusingly as the other one reached for the remaining two cookies, throwing them in his open mouth. The crunching sounds accompanied him through the doorway.
Spike has been great all story and I especially love this “hero” moment for him. It’s rare for spike to be treated kindly in a fanfiction where he isn’t the main character.
“I’m not putting all this smut back!” Spike yelled from the room.
Spike is standing out so much in this chapter!
Chapter 25: Endemic
“You’re always welcome to come here, even after the closing hours, if you can get your parents’ permission. No pony with a book fetish gets thrown out of my library—I can promise you that. As for reading in school, I don’t think Cheerilee would approve of you paying attention to anything other than her class.”
That’s 100% true but also unfair like in middle school my math teacher caught me reading Percy Jackson and gave me detention when I was clearly learning if I was a demigod Mrs Howard 
(purely a joke I came up with its not like I ever actually got caught reading Percy in Math 
)
She smirked. “One does not simply recite a book, but let me humor you.” Her smile turned to a grin. “What’s on page 42.”
I hate when people do this I get it in Twilights case but in the real world it gets old. How am I supposed to remember what was on what page when I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday.
I shook my head. “I was stuck before, and I plan on breaking out. Gradually, I’m gaining control.” I walked outside the castle.
Is this Sweetie being corrupted more overtime or being possessed by the spirit (Sombra?)
“I’d come anyway. You have no authority over me. Nopony does!”
This doesn’t have any right to come across this badass.
“Rules are what we make of them!”
Finally we get that villain arc!
“If you’ve ever trusted me, Sweetie Belle, trust me now. Lie low for a bit. Keep your head down. Don’t stir up anything else anymore, and things will calm down eventually. Just stay out of trouble for a while, okay? Please!”
Even Twilight knows Sweetie is right about no one being able to controlling her to the point she is asking instead of demanding like Twilight has done in previous chapters.
Great chapters and a sudden but smooth tonal shift for the story to take in these last few chapters.
That's part of the reason why the story is in the first PoV. I didn't want to write a textbook. I wanted to write something that feels more personal.
Though Sweetie Belle may have a warped perception of the world, the gist of reality should still come across to the reader. As a reader, you probably know more than the protagonist, despite it being the first PoV story.
It hadn't occurred to her, but it should occur to you as a reader. The crystal grew!
I've been spreading hints since the prologue. But I did try to be as subtle as possible.
The thing is, Sweetie Belle loved hugs and touches at the start of the story. Then something changed...
You might say that the spirit doesn't want to be touched and you'd be right. But it's more than that. Sweetie Belle feels something, yet she can't address it. So, she over-compensates. Not being able to get away from it, she tries to get away from everything else.
Both. And there's a third factor at play as well.
Not to spoil anything, but Twilight knows something. There are things ahoof in the background, out of sight, but not out of Twilight's mind.
One of the reasons why there were so many slice-of-life chapters at the start was to establish the 'normal' tone so that this shift could be evident. I was trying to make the contrast evident. Things aren't as they used to be anymore.
Thank you for this reading reaction!
Glad to see this back.