Jul
30th
2022
Well, Time to be Transphobic Again · 2:13am Jul 30th, 2022
I really need to stop with purposely idiotic titles 
I recently got in trouble for supposed "transphobia," so I thought I'd share it here since this site has a sizable trans community.
Basically, I met someone who I wasn't sure was trans. They looked like a stereotypical man, though with long hair and makeup. So I asked them if they were trans and identified as a girl so I knew what pronouns to use.
And I guess asking them this question by itself was offensive. According to them, this "outed" them as trans, even though they very clearly looked transgender.
Well, guess it's time to go full redneck Republican since I'm already considered transphobic 
OOF, when you ask people what they want to be called so that you don't offend them, then they call YOU offensive for asking to call them what they want to be called/trying to not offend them.
5676131
Shush, I can't talk to you anymore. I'm transphobic, remember.
5676133
It reminds me of people who get offended when you ask them "where they're from." Like, dude, if you look like you're fresh off the boat from India, you're gonna be asked where you come from lol.
5676136
Based on your posts, I feel like you're not even joking
Oh wow, XD
5676146
The equivalent of asking a guy with a thick Southern accent if he's from Alabama lol.
Guess I hate you Alabamans too haha.
5676135
Exactly! Common Sense! XD
It is very hard to talk to someone who behaves like an Inquisitor. The right answer is to simply don't talk to them ever again if they behave like that.
Ah... One a them days... Eh! Screw it! Welcome to the club Deep! Now let's getcha a shotgun an' overalls! Oh an' a degree in Stellar Physics.
5676159
Lol I went to college in Ohio of all places. I'm practically an honorary redneck by this point.
5676158
Or even better, purposely misgender them next time
Yea, I usually avoid people that get mental over pronouns (majority of the time it’s white people).
Like, why are you making it annoying for everyone else, I have trouble remembering names. But, I never see anyone losing their minds over it.
5676163
..... OHIO?! By the fated throws of the dice you cursed being!!! Begone from us! Take thy corn and wheat products and begone! Shadow our doorstep no more! We want not of your devilry! All jokes aside I getcha.
5676163
The issue is these people can destroy your life. They can run you out of your job, and render you unemployable. They won't be happy until you are begging on the street for the crime of your heresy.
Somehow people listen to idiots on Twitter, who have the power to ruin your life.
I'm literally trans myself and even I think this is overkill. If you're still in the closet DON'T CONFIRM THAT YOU'RE TRANS! Don't bug strangers about it and don't be a stickler for pronouns. Politely correct them if necessary but don't call random people transphobic because it makes all of us look bad.
5676135
Well, it's all about the intent of the question. I personally don't mind it even when it's racist, it's fun to see their reaction when I say "Massachussets." I'm in a diverse area, it's not uncommon to ask others' their ethnicity.
5676136
...I hope you're joking, and if you're not I am so sorry.
5676173
To be fair, if you rely on an employer in any form, you're walking on thin ice and are in a terrible position to begin with. You can have your whole life fucked by a bad boss/manager/HR person, regardless of certain sensitive trans people.
That said, most people unfortunantly have to rely on employers. So yeah, crazy people having the power to fire you over an innocent question or tiny joke is insane. Unfortunantly, I don't see a solution outside of making sure you are your own boss. The modern economy really does neuter people in this way, at least in America.
5676131
I'm adding you to this comment as an obvious reminder that I'm not calling certain people "crazy" for being trans. Instead, I'm calling them crazy for mentally imploding over an innocent question lol. It's dumb I need to state this since it should be obvious considering how pro-LGBT I am.
Also, let this be another reminder that relying on an employer to survive financially puts you at the mercy of others, which is a terrible way to live.
5676175
With this particular person, they appeared like a cis-man with long hair and a shaven face. The only real clue I had that they were trans was their makeup, which isn't an actual clue at all haha. That's why I decided to ask them, just to be sure and so I didn't use wrong pronouns.
The reason they got mad was because, according to them, I was the second person EVER outside their family to figure out they were trans... even though they looked very much like a cis-man. Which means every other person they met (except that one other person) had convinced them that they look like a cis-woman. And that wasn't the case at all haha. So when I asked if they were trans, it shattered the fantasy they had that they looked 100% like a cis-woman. This is the level of lying people do nowadays lol.
I love asking everyone that question out of genuine curiosity. Even with white people, they'll often know which part of Europe their ancestors came from.
5676179
I don't think you should ask people if they're trans, per-se? Just ask whether she's a man or a woman and... yeah. Though I do believe her response to the question was ridiculous and overblown. Like, I'm saying this in the nicest way possible and I think you asked correctly but I'm just saying? ...sorry I'm not trying to upset anyone.
5676181
That's actually a better approach. The problem with this specific case was that she was convinced she looked like a cis-girl. So if I asked what her gender was, it still would've shattered her fantasy.
To be honest, I mostly blame the countless people who lied to her about how she looks. It's like convincing a 5ft guy that they're tall. You're just hurting them in the long run. However, this is what happens when we tell people to lie in order to be "polite."
5676184
I don't know. Not everyone can be self employed.
5676214
Ooh, ok. That's not fun either though. My mom doesn't tolerate trans people so I got a bit confused there.
5676218
It's not even that bad here tbh. I'm on the luckier side: I was outed at 10 so she just dismissed it and treated it as a short phase. It's barely affected our (unrelatedly bad) relationship. I can't imagine how hard it is for someone who is out.
5676222
Ooh, my mom has been doing the same as of late. I'm FtN (non-binary) and I'm a 'tomboy' so she gets mad when I pick blue clothes, etc. I'm trying not to spam the comments
5676191
You're obviously right that not everyone can be self-employed, but I can't think of any society-wide solution. At the very least, I can protect myself and my loved ones from the power of the mob.
5676220
5676218
Feel free to spam this blog haha. It's terrible that you two can't be that open about this in front of your parents. But at least sites like these offer safe spaces for you guys to talk about/explore this topic.
5676385
Thanks. We've taken it to the PM's anyways lol.
The internet is truly an amazing place!
5676404
Gotcha haha.
Is it fine actually if I ask you some questions about being trans and non-binary? I'm so individualistic that I don't consider things like biological sex or gender to even be minor parts of my identity (let alone major parts). So I'm practically the complete opposite of you, even more than a normal cis-guy would be haha.
5676978
Sorry for replying late. Go ahead! I'm non-binary but gender isn't a huge part of my identity either.
I think it was a common question, and not to be considered transphobic.