100 Things Pinkie Pie Isn’t Allowed to Do

1. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to drink coffee.

   1. That also includes any kind of coffee variety.
   2. Pinkie Pie is now also not allowed to drink tea with sugar.
   3. Any drink with sugar or caffeine is prohibited for her.
2. Whenever Pinkie Pie throws a party, she isn't allowed to invite everypony from neighboring cities or towns unless there are family and friend connections.

3. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to bring into Ponyville a new “friend” she made in the Everfree Forest.

   1. That also includes “friends” found anywhere else.
   2. That especially includes Changelings.

4. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to ponynap anypony who wasn't at her party despite being invited.

   1. That also includes anypony who didn't excuse themselves from it.
   2. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to ponynap in general. Seriously, did I have to write it down?

5. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to break into the town's bank to buy everypony any kind of sweets. 

   1. She's also not allowed to steal from any rich pony.

      • Wearing a green costume and a bow doesn't allow it either.

6. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to change the lawbook to have “sweets” being a right for everypony.

   1. What are you gonna do about it?
   2. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to write in this list too.

7. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to teach foals how to “ignore the laws of gravity”.

   1. That includes any law of physics.
   2. And magic. (How are you even able to as an Earth pony?)

8. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to play several instruments at once. only allowed to borrow any musical instrument as long as they will be used against Parasprites, but she has to bring them back.

   1. And a magician being corrupted by an Alicorn amulet.
9. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to build or organize anything with Derpy Hooves unless there is a supervisor looking after them.
10. No Equestria-wide pranks! How were you even able to change everypony's manes overnight?

11. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to change the Royal guards armor to clown costumes. 

    1. This also includes changing them to animal costumes.

       • Just don't touch the Royal guards' armor, understood?

         • Yes.

           • Rule 6.2, Pinkie Pie!
    2. Don't touch the Princess' uniform too. Yes, seeing Celestia in a rabbit costume was funny, but she's the highest royalty in Equestria.

12. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to put sleep pills into Princess Celestia's drinks to “keep the party rocking”.

    1. In my drinks too.
    2. Pinkie Pie, don't put sleeping pills into anypony's drink.
13. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to challenge Princess Celestia to a prank war.

14. We will not fly to the moon to party with Nightmare Moon.

    1. We won't use any form of transportation either. 

15. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to overthrow Princess Celestia to make each day a party day.

    1. There is absolutely no reason you would be allowed to overthrow Princess Celestia.
    2. That also includes starting a revolution.
    3. “No one is expecting the Pinkie Pie Inquisition” is also not a reason.
16. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to throw a Dragon's party in Ponyville anywhere near and in Ponyville.

17. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to change our currency to lollipops.

    1. Or chocolate pieces.
    2. Just don't change our bits into anything.
    3. You're also not allowed to make a “crypto currency” called “Pone Coin”.

18. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to replace the apples in Sweet Apple Acres with marshmallows.

    1. This also includes cupcakes.
    2. Or any kind of sweets.
    3. Mangos too.
19. Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to genetically change the apples in Sweet Apple Acre to chocolate.

20. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to replace cotton cloths with cotton candy.

    1. Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to eat her dress infront of Rarity. It doesn't matter if it's cotton candy or from anything else.

       • Don't eat Rarity’s dress.

21. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to argue against Octavia Melody that mayonnaise is an instrument.

    1. I will not ask how you played that music with it, but please don't do it ever again. She hasn't been playing for weeks now…

22. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to pour sugar into our water system.

    1. That also includes the river or any seas.
    2. Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to travel to the ocean to pour sugar into it. How were you even able to gather a mountain sized pile of it?
23. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to replace the clouds with cotton candy. We had several Pegasi falling to the ground trying to sit on them.

24. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to race Rainbow Dash. 

    1. Rainbow Dash is not allowed to challenge Pinkie Pie back. I don't care if you lost to her twice.

25. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to throw a party for animals in Ponyville.

    1. That also includes monsters.
    2. That especially includes those being locked in Tartarus.

26. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to free Discord from being a statue.

    1. Discord is also not allowed to edit this list.
    2. That rule will stay no matter if Discord has already been set free.
27. Pinkie Pie and Discord are not allowed to throw a party together.
28. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to plan anything with Discord.
29. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to follow Discord’s plans.

30. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to do anything Discord suggests to “make it appear on this list”.

    1. Discord, I will not make a list like this one for you.

    2. Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to make a list of “Things Discord isn't allowed to do”.

       • “Things Discord should be doing” is especially forbidden.

31. Pinkie Pie isn't allowed to use the Mirror Pool to duplicate herself.

    1. I don't care if it's sealed now, it will stay here!

32. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to fly into the sun to see how many Manticores are needed to defeat it.

    1. Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to fly to the moon to replace it with cheese.

33. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to bring her counterpart from a mirror portal into our world or exchange places with her.

    1. Even if you are the Pinkie Pie from the other world, these rules apply to you too!

       • Pinkie Pie from the other world is not allowed to throw sprinkles.

34. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to ask Twilight if an “unstoppable force would move an immovable object”. 

    1. She is not allowed to ask her any paradox questions.

35. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to bring any beings from different universes, stories or however she calls them into our world. 

    1. That also includes bringing our world into theirs.

36. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to erase anyone's memory so she can throw another welcome party.

    1. She is also not allowed to erase my memories to make me forget about this list.

37. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to start a cult just to make a cult party.

    1. This also includes starting a new religion.

38. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to read “clopfics” to anypony.

    1. Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to tell how many “bronies” “ship” which pony with whom.
    2. She is also not allowed to take “fimfics” as inspiration.

39. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to bury Ponyville in candy.

    1. That also includes cupcakes.

    2. If I ever wake up finding Ponyville buried under anything and it was you, I will make you eat everything for yourself.

       • How even…

40. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to pour Helium into our town. (Yes, the voices were funny.)

    1. Yay!

       • Rule 6.2.

41. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to buy or use Trixie's fireworks. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to use any fireworks.

    1. She is also not allowed to challenge Trixie on “who can make the bigger explosion”.
42. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to teach foals that the meaning of life is “shini/to die”.

43. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to “borrow” Twilight's wings.

    1. That includes any body parts.

       • And those of other ponies.
       • Other creatures count too.
44. Don't ever sing to the Appleloosans and buffalo ever again. Two times was already enough.

45. We won't execute anypony who broke the Pinkie Promise.

    1. We won't banish them to the moon too.

    2. We won't post “Wanted” posters of them with the caption “dead or alive”.

       • A Pinkie Promise is a you problem, if anyone is dumb enough to give one and break it, it's their fault and you can do with them whatever you want; just don’t drag me into it.

46. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to attend any chess tournaments ever again.

    1. She is not allowed to attend any board game tournament ever again.
47. If you need to ask, don't do it.

48. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to say “Just as my Pinkie Senses have foretold” whenever I ask her if anything was her fault.

    1. I don't care if the Pinkie Sense is real, Princess Twilight.
    2. “Ups” is also not the correct reply.
    3. “You can't prove anything” will be taken as undeniable evidence.

49. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to change our National anthem to “Laughter song”.

    1. As much as I want to see the Royal guards sing and dance the “Piggy Dance”, this is also not allowed.

50. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to pay for a Changeling to turn into her and take the responsibility of what she did.

    1. Persuading counts too.

51. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to prescribe cupcakes as medication.

    1. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to prescribe anything as medication.
52. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to start a black market trading with candies or any other form of sweets.
53. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to dress up as an Officer and make the Royal guards bake her cupcakes.
54. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to turn into an Alicorn.

55. Any rule here is not made to “destroy the fun”, but to protect everypony around you.

    1. I'm not a “meanie” for making these rules.
56. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to give orders to “preserve the timeline”, especially if the order is “baking thousands of cupcakes”.

57. Cupcakes are not the solution during an invasion.

    1. Same goes for “more cupcakes”.
    2. “Bigger cupcakes” too.
58. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to declare war because she wasn't invited to a party.
59. If we’re speechless, it means “what the hay did you do”, not “that sounds like fun”.

60. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to divide by zero.

    1. Princess Twilight, get off that list.

       • The last digit of Pi is not 3!

61. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to teach enemies “how they would have won”.

    1. She is also not allowed to make a list of “Lists of things the baddies shouldn't do to win against the goodies”.
62. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to release Fluttershy’s chicken to see “why they cross the road”.

63. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to prove to Lyra Heartstrings that “humans” exist.

    1. Don't ever put those “hands”-prosthetics on her.

64. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to replace Derpy's muffins with cupcakes. One unpredictable pony is already enough to bear.

    1. She's also not allowed to argue with Derpy that cupcakes are better than muffins.
65. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to build a 50 meter high party horn. Thanks Celestia we were able to stop her before she used it.

66. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to pretend to be a twin who doesn't know what Pinkie Pie did.

    1. Pinkie Pie is also not allowed to pretend to be an “evil twin”.

67. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to follow Princess Luna into the dreams of other ponies.

    1. Especially mine. I am dealing with you already during the days.

68. Whenever a new stallion comes to Ponyville, Pinkie Pie is not allowed to pretend to be in a “dating-sim”.

    1. That includes mares too.
69. Don’t grin at me like that.

70. Pinkie Pie and Starlight Glimmer are not allowed to write a “Communist Manifesto”.

    1. Same includes the “Independence Declaration”. We are not a democracy.
71. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to burn a cornfield to make popcorn.

72. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to build a chocolate factory to make a chocolate river.

    1. She is also not allowed to replace the water in Cloudsdale with chocolate.
    2. Don’t replace our water system with a chocolate system.
    3. Don't replace anything with chocolate.

73. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to travel back in time to do the things on this list before they were written down.

    1. Especially this one.

74. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to leave Ponyville and come back five minutes later with a mustache pretending to be “Mr. Not-Pie”.

    1. Or wearing a wig pretending to be “Mrs. I'm-not-Pinkamena”.
    2. That also includes wearing a black-red Alicorn costume pretending to be “Mary Sue”.
75. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to use Poison Jokes on anypony, especially me. Yes, I did everything on this list during that. No, I don't want to repeat any of them.
76. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to ask Princess Twilight to replace me.
77. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to build a duplicate of Ponyville and carry me there while I sleep in hope to get rid of me.

78. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to lock me in my room and place a puppet to fool anypony that it's me.

    1. I will have a talk with my staff about how they thought it was me for two days.
79. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to build a new town and make everypony except for me move there.
80. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to dispute my position as a mayor.

81. Don't ever give Princess Twilight an unsolvable Rubik's cube again.

    1. Same goes for unsolvable riddles.

82. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to refer to Starlight Glimmer as “the second Sunset Shimmer”.

    1. She is also not “OP”.
83. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to found a new nation where “chocolate and soda are flowing”.
84. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to demand from me to “let her ponies go”.
85. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to foretell during a competition commentary who will win.
86. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to say this list is “Fake News”.
87. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to refer to our species as “Gen-4”.
88. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to replace our homes with replicas made of sweets.

89. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to give Spike green glowing crystals to “turn him into Godzilla”.

    1. Same goes for your pet Gummy.

90. You are not a statue who can only move when no one is looking at you.

    1. However you're only moving when I am blinking, stop it.

91. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to refer to herself as “Dr. Bright”.

    1. I don't care if “Dr. Bright” has a similar list, you're not him.
    2. You're also not “Skippy”.
92. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to suggest anypony to climb into her mane. We needed three ponies to get that filly out of there.

93. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to take Sunset Shimmer's geode, give it to anypony and let that pony touch her.

    1. That explains so much…
94. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to ask around how she can add “seven additional rules” on that list.

95. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to use this list as her CV.

    1. How were you hired?

96. Don't even think about something “special” for the hundreths rule.

    1. You know what? I have it already written just so you don't come up with anything.
97. “I'm just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie” is not an excuse for anything.
98. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to turn this list into a song.
99. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to throw a party for the “hundredths rule added to this list”.

100. If anything isn't on the list, it doesn't mean you're allowed to do it.

     1. Yes, it is an “anticlimactic rule”.

Comments

[Darth Wrex]

Really

[gapty]

5673847

Yes

[Darth Wrex]

5674257
Wow

[Ponka]

You know what they say, rules are meant to be broken
This was great! Its a shame you can't post this as a story cause this is really well done.

[NOOBMASTER95]

That was, interesting

[Budew]

This is just "Things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the Foundation" mlp edition

[CaptainPipsqueak]

42. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to teach foals that the meaning of life is “shini/to die”.

1. “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their mares.” is also, inherently, not a lesson we want taught.

• I don't care if Miss Cheerilee found it funny; these are impressionable children and any trouble they cause is my problem first.

[gapty]

5678192
Well, look at that

5681511
Indeed.

5683520
Yes, it was the main inspiration. And according to my research Skippy was the first one.

5683610
This would be a nice addition to my collection

[CaptainPipsqueak]

5683659
Nobody's stopping you.

[The Mystery Fluttershy Fan]

Interesting

[The Mystery Fluttershy Fan]

I think I'm gonna make this blog post an audiobook too, soon, to go along with the one I made of the Pinkie Pie's No nos fic.
So if there's any editing you would like to do on this, fair warning!

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

Most of these are pretty sensible (albeit oddly specific) rules but I call shenanigans on 35.1

1. Pinkie Pie is not allowed to bring any beings from different universes, stories or however she calls them into our world.

   1. That also includes bringing our world into theirs.

I'd love to meet Twilight and a few other mares that I've grown fond of through these pony words.

[The Mystery Fluttershy Fan]

Your Blog Post now has an Audio Reading!