But the universe provides the irony for free · 6:26pm Jun 24th, 2022
It's been a very bad day.
I don't want to go into the deepest details. On the lesser side, my mother's orchid had four of its flowers drop off at once. And flowers die, but... it didn't have to be today. And yet, in some ways, it did.
I lost a Patreon sponsor and... I don't know if we'll ever speak again. It's nothing I did, nothing they did. It wasn't an angry parting, and it happened with deep regrets on both sides. But it's just another thing which makes me incredibly sad, morose, dejected and feeling as if I'm moving in a fog. On top of everything else which happened, and... if anyone wants to come in as a new sponsor or boost an extent pledge by a few cents, this would be a really good time.
I feel sick. Nauseous and worn-down and tempest-tossed. So I went outside, and...
...I walked by a family conversation. They were talking about where to get a passport. I... apologized for overhearing, because I hadn't meant to. But then I told them where I'd gone, and that they could get the paperwork processed there, the photo, and it was an official government office. Might have to call for an appointment, though. They were thankful.
And I thought -- if I emptied out the Pointless Jar of all its found coins, if I closed my bank accounts, if I abandoned apartment and car and everything else... I could be out of the country within twelve hours.
Permanently.
...I'd be broke and homeless. But I wouldn't be here.
Some days, I hate just being here.
I look at my possessions and wonder what good they do anyone. How long it would take to toss everything, because selling is out of the question. Incoming recession. Who's buying?
I think about moving a lot. Something which has to wait until that lawsuit is settled. But nothing is guaranteed. There might not be any settlement money, or a victory at all. Maybe it's just the victory. A loss. Maybe I'm stuck. Maybe I'll be homeless no matter what. Two years, tops...
...those are the thoughts, on the bad days.
I found fifty-seven cents. That didn't help.
I walked. Trying to clear my head. Because there's two more chapters to come this month, there has to be and... I'm in no mental shape to write today. The centering isn't there. So I left my building complex, got into the city, and... found a lot of traffic on the main road. A long, long line starting at the first major stoplight and intersection, going back for several blocks. It had reached the point where turning onto that road from the first access point behind the intersection had become effectively impossible. Honking was seconds away. Fights would be next.
Walking. Trudging along. I reached one of the intersections along the backup, a place where I had to cross.
And there was a van.
I have no issues with giving out the company's name: Secure Transportation. And their job, according to the side panels and writing on the back window, is moving medical patients. Wheelchair accessibility, getting those who can't travel on their own to necessary appointments.
Name of the company. Contact numbers. And a motto.
Safety Is Our Everyday Duty
It's a nice motto for a medical transport company. I had plenty of time to read it as I crossed. A good, long view.
The van, stuck in the backed-up traffic line, had parked itself across the center of the intersection.
I still feel sick. Soul-deep weary, and the sadness isn't going away for a while. It's that kind of day.
But at least I'm not that idiot.
Last week of the Everfree Northwest Ko-Fi Drive.
Before this, I was going to tell you about the hardshell no-check luggage I found at a closeout store. Something I'm still considering, because it's very smol and I don't know if it gives me enough capacity to use at all.
It's an Armetti Pegasus.
...no, really.
I hope you get the Pegasus and a mask you feel safe and comfortable with.
And yeah, it's been a bad day.
But that doesn't mean we give in.
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The luggage issues with the Armetti Pegasus are as follows.
* It's tiny. I was worried about my softshell getting laser-measured and fetching me $60 to $120 in fees. (Probably the former.) It's two inches over in one dimension and since that compresses if not packed all the way, I can potentially get away with it -- with a price if I can't. But this hardshell, while well under the check size, is -- well under the check size. And then some. I'm not sure I can get clothing for four days in there, and anything I somehow purchased would have to be mailed home. No choice.
* It's out of production. (Well, of course it is. It was in a closeout store.) We were doing the research in the Discord server. The company started up in 2019, got some vaguely positive reviews, and then died. The Wayback Machine can't even find much about them. I can tell you what the original price of the piece was: $295. (Supposedly marked down from $495, according to the company's lost Instagram.) But that's about all which was found. And they went out of business. And this could have been due to covid -- let's face it: 2019 was not a good time to start a luggage company -- or they could have just been really, really bad. In any case, I think I can say the app isn't supported.
...it had an app. And a GPS chip. If your luggage was lost, you could find out which city it was in. Getting there then presumably became your problem.
* It's $70. And very, very smol.
* It is not my color.
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Ohhh. I misread your tone there.
This is what I traveled with; I would pack for 2 weeks with this and a messenger bag. Nothing checked, I was going from Hawaii to the East Coast on a 3-flight red-eye 4x/year. Granted, I was getting a sufficiency hotel and knew exactly where the laundrymat was, but season didn't matter, all clothes, meds, gifts, extra shoes, etc. etc. etc.
I still have it, it's a bit marked but not torn or damaged. It fits in overhead compartments or under the seat in front of you. ^^ It has grab handles on the sides, and 2 pockets on the back, besides the front pocket. It is choice.
I've been trying to write this comment for 10 minutes. Today was a dumpster fire, and I'm sorry you're hurting. Take my meager Patreon pledge with the caveat of you not being allowed to thank me. I've enjoyed your writing immensely for a while, and with my new, slightly less horrible job, I can invest in a content creator I enjoy for once.
Upped my monthly pledge by $7. Not enough to fully offset a lost Patron (unless they were on the $1 tier), but hopefully it'll help a little.
Just wanted to say that I respect you keeping forward despite the struggle. I myself somewhat understand the struggle as Two months ago I was fired from a decent job. I wasn’t exactly smart in how I managed my money and I had no fallback other than staying with a friend, but I did in fact lose my place and if not for my friends help I would have been homeless. Please by any means always ask hour friends for help before abandoning yourself to the worst.
If they truly are your friends and even family, then they will be willing to help you in your time of need. I know that can be hard sometimes as I myself have trouble asking for help due to the fact that I feel like Im using them in some form or capacity. Im always told that Im not when I bring it up but the feeling is still there and thats fine. But remember they are your friends and family for a reason, they should be people you can trust and count on in times like these.
I only ask that you keep moving forward and don’t let yourself fall to despair. I found my dream job recently and it came completely out of the blue. I had to work hard to get to that point but I still made it happen because I didn’t let myself give up. I may not know you as a person but you seem rather strong willed and I respect that a lot as well especially in such trying times we are living in. And remember you don’t have to take on everything at once either. Break up your goals into short term and long term goals and make the most achievable ones a priority.
If you ever need advice, you have us on fim here for you too, so don’t forget that either. We come from all walks of life with many different viewpoints and experiences. Use that to your advantage. It’ll help in the long run.
Yes, you would, only here would be there, and with less money. Wherever you go, there you are.
not being here is very desirable
Well, I upped my pledge a little, anyway.
Shit sucks.
Sorry today was rough on you. Yesterday was pretty sweet for us: you nailed that last chapter. Had some criticism but it was a fun read! You’re doing good work, making the world a bit more interesting.
My day was not any better.
I learned the fucking shit news at work and spent most of the day deeply unhappy, angry, and ready to puke.
At dinner, my Mom called me. Our neighbors, who are just the nicest people, went to Europe for a vacation. They had had to put it off because of the everything of the last 2 years, so finally said fuck it and went.
Right around when she was getting home from work, the husband texted my Mom...and said that his wife had had a massive stroke, falling into a coma 30 minutes later. The prognosis was extremely grim. She was in a hospital but...he just didn't know...
She just called me, 2 hours later. I picked up, and with a voice that said she was fully in tears, opened with
"....well..."
My heart dropped hard.
Every year, she brought flowers for my Mom from her garden after everything bloomed.
She loved her cats and was always amused that when I watched them, that they loved to lay on my lap.
They both came to my stepdads wake and she hugged us both, promising that they would always try to help my Mom.
She was a wonderful lady and knowing that she's just...gone...is honestly breaking my heart.
Today is a fucking awful day.
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My God, I'm so sorry...
*hugs Estee* "I appreciate everything you write Estee, even base roleplay campaigns settings I run for my crew on data found in your verse, and if my own financial position wasn't what it is I'd gladly help you, but the best I can do is a Ko-Fi now and then if weekly food budget allows dear friend."
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"When you complain about your own situation, there will always be someone worse off than you. Always. No exceptions."
For the nothing it's worth, I'm sorry.
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It’s like Murphy’s law, only worse.
If we weren't complete strangers to you and(vice-versa) have our own financial issues, we wouldn't have minded lending a hoof for leaving the country.