Analysing Sonichu Issue #14 · 12:48pm May 8th, 2022
Sonichu #14 is one of several incomplete issues in the Sonichu series. It was started on the 26th June 2019 and at the moments consists largely of incomplete scribblings. In terms of plotline, the comic is a direct continuation from Sonichu #13, and is subtitled The Awakening of a CPU Book Two. Although by this point the Idea Guys had been succesfully driven off by a group of counter trolls called the Guard Dogs, Chris continued to fervently cling to the lore that they had brainwashed into him.1
The cover of the comic currently only exists as a draft, as seen in this photograph, and depicts what appears to be Chris' CPU form, Blue Heart, hovering on high, ready to do... something. The number at the bottom is directly connected to Chris' beliefs about dimensions.
As you'll have probably picked up by this point, Chris has some rather interesting beliefs about what is real and what is not, even going as far as calling somebody 'naive' for pointing out to him that fictional characters are, by definition, fictional and thus do not exist in real life.2 As noted in the last analysis, the Idea Guys were able to convince Chris that CWCVille really existed in another dimension. Chris, who had been watching lots of Rick and Morty at the time (a series that, amongst other things, features interdimensional travel), was more than happy to accept this as it validated his beliefs.3
Chris would later develop this into a theory called the Dimensional Merge. In short, he believes that C-197, which is where all fictional characters live, is combining with our own world, called 1218 (in case you're wondering about the numbering, Chris stole the former from Rick and Morty and the latter from the Marvel comics). This combined place will be called 1C-211987, and will be a nightmare dimension where Chris reigns supreme (a terrifying thought).
These pages recaps the events of Sonichu #13. Notice that Chris has adopted a new format for the comic of panel boxes with text underneath them. This makes the comic a lot easier to read, suggesting that Chris has finally learned how to order a page, meaning that at age 36 he had achieved something most schoolchildren can do at age 10. Chris stares at us creepily from Page 2 whilst the final page shows Chris' clumsy attempts to reconcile the real life drama with the Idea Guys with the pages of his comic.
The images are meant to show what the post-Merge world will look like (last we heard from Chris, the Merge was almost complete). If the thought of cartoon characters living and walking amongst us a la Pokemon Go intrigues you, let me know in the comments.
The last panels, however, are quite concerning. Chris makes reference to 'electricity' flowing through his body, and indeed has referred to this in his blogging.4 Chris doesn't seem to have realised that the electricity he is feeling is in fact a stroke, a further sign of his rapidly worsening health and the strain that his diet is putting on his heart.
Chris has had issues with belching and breaking wind for a long time, on top of his unfortunate tendancy to soil himself (which could help to explain why he spent so much time in solitary confinement whilst in prison; I pity the poor prisoner who has to share a cell with Chris).5
The second section suggests that Chris' sanity was already slipping well before the Idea Guys arrived, and that he was considering marrying a fictional character as a solution to his love life (not that the fictional marriage stopped him from being unfaithful on his own terms, as revealed by a dream in which he had an affair with Sally Acorn).6
This is a reference to the Grand Galloping Gala event held at Bronycon 2017, shortly before the Idea Guys entered the picture.7 This video recording was the first sign to many observers that something was seriously wrong with Chris' mental state. There's also something quite tragic about the love of his life being a character he invented.
Chris has claimed to have had heart attacks, but the symptoms that he describes are more consistent with heartburn (I am not a qualified doctor, so I cannot speak with any authority on this). Chris declaring the Merge to be 'in progress' is referencing the fact that he kept endlessly pushing the date of the Merge back as it didn't happen when he declared he would. This would clue any normal person in that their delusions were precisely that, but Chris has no time for that.
However, Chris would declare that the Merge had concluded in one of his Jail letters, showing how seriously he is taking his legal proceedings (ie, not at all).
Arguably the best page in all of Sonichu.
Pages 9 and 10 are yet to be publically released (and some suspect they don't exist), so we jump straight to Page 11.
Chris claiming to showcase his psychic powers to others is one of his favourite methods of boasting. Of course, his psychic antics are laughably easy to disprove; one where he claims to push over a flash drive with his mind, but it's clear that he's pushing the flash drive forward with his index finger to make it fall over.8 Things reached a hilarious conclusion when Chris contacted Uri Geller, a magician and self-proclaimed 'psychic', for help with developing his powers. Geller told him to stop wasting his time.9
Hidden within this mountain of word vomit is Chris' belief that all deities coexist and converse with one another (of course, he considers himself to be one). However, this presents us with a logic problem; Chris mentions meeting Jesus and talking with him, but since September 2021 has claimed that he himself is Jesus. If Chris is Jesus, how can he have met Jesus?
Pages 13 and 14 are missing, so onwards to Page 15.
Jakoba is a character created by a man called Jacob Sockness, a troll and perhaps the only person to unironically fall in love with Chris.10 Without going into confusing levels of detail, Sockness believes that he is descended from alien beings who rule an alternate dimension, and has even codified his ideas in a series of books that manage to be even more incomprehensible than Sonichu.11 Owing to the similarities between their lore systems, Sockness had an easy shoehorning it into Chris' comic, and this page dramatises their roleplay. Notice the two characters called Mary Sue and Gary Stue; these are common internet terms for overpowered OCs. It is unclear if this is Chris being ironic or completely un-self aware.
Page 16 is missing, so we go onwards to Page 17.
This page shines a light on Chris' poor circadian rhythm, as he tends to sleep all morning, get up in the afternoon, and then 'work' through the night until he falls asleep at some ungodly hour. He has had this problem ever since he left school, as he has had no reason to set a regular sleep schedule (as somebody who has struggled with sleep patterns, I can tell you that having the discipline to maintain a regular sleep schedule is vital).
Yes, Chris daydreams whilst driving. How the Hell did this man get a driving license?
Chris did actually meet all these people at BronyCon 2019, which was the final one held. Chris apparently felt genuinely happy at these conventions, considering the propensity of fandoms such as our own to attract some rather unusual individuals (says myself, a grown man who likes a show about cartoon horses).
This is really boring. Can something interesting please happen?
Chris is alluding to the Grand Galloping Gala concert, and at this one he miraculously did not make a complete fool of himself.
Chris was an avid follower of Team Fortress Analysis Anarchy, a brony collective who had largely blocked Chris from their twitter feeds after he got their pages flooded with weens, nicely demonstrating how Chris never learns.12 Angered by this, Chris created sockpuppets of their accounts and wrote them apologising to him for what was a completely understandable response.
More of Chris' incoherent ramblings, then back to blog.
Chris did actually get a chance to ask Lauren Faust a question at the convention. But first;
Imagine, for a moment, that you are Nicole Oliver. You've been meeting and greeting fans for a little bit now, and then suddenly this slightly odd fellow comes over and tells you that your contract has been extended because a fictional character that you voice told him so in a dream.
That's exactly what Chris did. One can only wonder what on Earth Oliver thought, seeing as Chris pulled similar wierdness at BronyCon 2017 with Kelly Sheridan.
With that uneventful section, and BronyCon 2019 over, the comic abruptly stops. Chris abandoned this comic in late 2019, and considering his recent legal troubles it is unlikely he will be coming back to it any time soon. Next time will see us look at some rather more normal comic fare, as Chris does the one thing he had adamantly promised he would never do.
List of References:
1 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Idea_Guys#Lingering_influence
2 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Alec_Benson_Leary_Phone_Call_2
3 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Dimensions#Background
4 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_and_health#Cardiovascular_health
5 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chris_and_health#Anytime_Fitness; https://sonichu.com/cwcki/DIRTY,_CRAPPED_BRIEFS
6 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/The_Place_chats_(February_2021)#Sally_Acorn_Dream; Chris, what makes you think Sally would be even remotely interested in you? On that note, that technically constitutes yet another Sarah in Christory; Sally is a variant of the given name Sarah, which means 'princess' in Hebrew.
7 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/BronyCon_2017#Dancing_with_Magi-Chan
8 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/PsychicPowers#Derpy_Hooves_My_Little_Pony_flash_drive
9 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Misc_E-mails#Uri_Geller_Emails
10 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Kidasuna
11 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Kidasuna
12 https://sonichu.com/cwcki/TF2_Analysis#Blocks
Sad to say, this one has a plausible answer: Time travel.
It wouldn't surprise me if Chris played Okami, which has a few points in the story where Amaterasu encounters Shiranui, who is stated in this game (how Okamiden retconned this is irrelevant here) to be Amaterasu's past life or previous vessel, because of Amaterasu traveling to the past, or Shiranui traveling to the present.
Or if not Okami, then some other media that has a similar encounter between past and future.
I can see Chris, inspired by this, having "Jesus" time travel to our era and running into Chris.
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Oh. OK. That's a little strange, but I can buy it.
Mighty fuck and Evil Jesus...This doesn't even deserve my usual effort. All I will say is this reads like the ramblings of a madman with hypergraphia.
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Especially as Chris cannot be bothered to finish his comic, you know, his magnum opus, the thing he wants to be remembered for.