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May
5th
2022

Hmmmm · 7:35pm May 5th

Last night, once I finally fell asleep, I had a dream.

I had a dream of some prom, some party like the ones I never got to go to when I was younger. It was dark but for the lights that lit up a floor, stereotypically square and glittering with tiny colorless specks of light and sound.

I had a dream of going over to the typical tables set with high school canapes and tiny plastic cups that would hold the sweet, icy punch with four ladles just beside the towers of clear not-glass. The plates were paper and the food barely edible, but that wasn't the point of the gathering and so went unspoken of.

I had a dream of filling two of the cups, each barely containing the full fluid of the ladle without flowing over, before picking up two plates I did not remember making but still found them full of the offerings of the bounty made for the young by the elder.

I had a dream of walking back to our table, where I found her sitting atop the wobbly thing itself instead of a chair. Her dress was simple and complex and every yellow bead flashed with the light of a million stars in the swooping lights of what was supposed to be a dance floor regardless of how empty it was. Her smile filled in the spaces left over.

I had a dream that at some point that was immediate and hours after there was an announcement of some game, some task intended to liven up the party so full of people that we had no choice but to be right beside each other in that empty room. It was the simple finding of some item, some macguffin of no wealth or meaning beyond the game but still so easy to find. We were told to hold this item and proclaim ourselves as winners, and so I took her in my arms and we shared some small, secret smile that changed so much of ourselves that we were no longer friends but something more, something deeper, something that could never be torn asunder by anything more than our own hands. Hands that could have been cruel and sharp but instead were warm and upholding and so tenderly soft.

I woke up this morning and experienced a kind of heartbreak for something that never truly existed and likely never could have, and I mourned for the loss that never was.

I hope I get to meet her one day.

Anyways, me and ponies had a small falling out for a little, and I was reading other stuff, but I'm getting back into the fics here so I'm hoping to start writing on my projects some more. Already have started on one of them actually. Love you guys :heart:

Report SilverEyedWolf · 147 views ·
Comments ( 3 )
Wydril #1 · May 6th · · ·

I woke up this morning and experienced a kind of heartbreak for something that never truly existed and likely never could have, and I mourned for the loss that never was.

Chase the dream.
i.ibb.co/2d7mBfm/1650236154746.png

hey-

Just wanted to say that I've been through something similar.
Although my dream was a lot more outlandish and even though my dream-self accepted it as reality, it obviously wasn't real-

But the last thing I remembered seeing was a scene of it dying a cruel horrible death... just because it dared to stay alive.
The pain from the injustice. The unfairness. The lack of humanity-

It wasted it's last breath telling me that it was happy to finally meet me.
And so when I woke up, it felt like my heart had stopped beating.


I was so overwhelmed by how sad and angry and helpless I felt- The connection to it was so instant. And it felt so natural that it immediately sealed and filled up all of the empty space in my heart.
To have that ripped out of me right when I got it... ugh-I was just sobbing. And for a few days I didn't have the capacity to deal with anything or anyone.
I just wanted to heal

5655805
i.ytimg.com/vi/rplDqXjP8UU/hqdefault.jpg
Yes! Yes that exactly! The heart-crushing realization that comes from something precious being taken away! Yours was more than mine, much more, but that feeling of something precious being ripped away is perfect! Still trying to shake it off, ye gods. But we heal, because that's what the heart does, and we heal on the move!

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