Time to Come Clean · 6:38am Apr 2nd, 2022
This was all good & fun, but I think I got too deeply into character. I was LARPing as an autistic American for comedy purposes, but it's time to be the real me.
Hi, I'm Smiling Scripts. I'm a unicorn from Canterlot. I come from a largely martial family. I attended magic tutelage under some of Celestia's finest students, & now I'm working at a hardware store. What are the odds? Earth ponies & donkeys make for good customers though.
I'm a huge fan of My Fatass Human: Friendship is Bullshit, the G4 rendition of the My Fatass Human franchise of media & comedy sex toys, originally made for stallions, but has since come to the attention of, disturbingly, underaged fillies of the variety that male-on-male shipping & making complex characters suffer. I remember going to Manehatten & having some little filly with a brown coat & a red mane come up to me, &, observing my human shirt, suddenly stuck up conversation about her headcanon involving Freddy Mercury & Justin Bieber. I was amazed. Freddy Mercury's from G1, & Justin Bieber was just a one-time joke character that is referred to in passing afterwards. Perhaps most disturbingly was how deeply into detail she got about the gay-shipping without me even saying anything to provoke it. Fillies love the show. They shouldn't, but they do.
& I think just don't think I can be a fan anymore.
The show has jumped the shark before, such as when that known poison joke-addict, Lyra Heartstrings, retconned Bill Cosby, who was clearly being set up to be the true Messiah in the earliest iteration of the show (it's been having variations & generations of the show since the Year of our Princess, 1083, for newbie fans - G1 is the one with Ronald Reagan as the President), into a sex offender, which had been established by woman characters we never heard of before suddenly coming forward, with no explanation as to why they were silent previously. & the G2 series' Michael Jackson arc was a complete mess, leaving it absolutely impossible to know if he really did touch little boys, all because the writers had different opinions. We don't even have an established canon on this matter, & the forums always light up with debates about this. But it always got itself back up, & this was all character-specific canon, not story-spanning canon. Besides, the ambiguity of G2's Michael Jackson canon is actually great, because it leaves it up to the viewers to decide for themselves. It even inspired a gag from the comedy sex toyline - there are multiple kinds of Michael Jackson penis for the dildo, because of the wildly different accounts of his genitals in the show. Thus, unlike, say, David Tennant, we have no canon answer as to what his penis looks like. So even when the show contradicted itself before, it was not without the means of recovery.
As of 1122, I can't say I can really be a fan of the latest generation anymore. The show isn't just badly written, it's now depressing & badly written. We had "comedy" Presidents, like, really everybody since Bill Clinton (so since G2), but Joe Biden jokes are cheap as buck now. Bill Clinton was a serial womanizer, Bush was too focused on proving points to other politicians, Obama was lazy, & Trump was socially inept, so they were all comedy Presidents, but the jokes were nuanced. However, Joe Biden is just written to be absolutely stupid, meaning the Biden jokes are less subtle than the jokes around prior Presidents. He just says "my butt's been wiped", & that's it. That's the joke. But it's not that funny. It's like the writers are not even trying anymore. The explanations as to how he's been elected are murky, & there's a fan theory going around that the election was rigged. There are claims that there is on-show evidence that this happened.
I liked the show when it was simpler, when Morgan Freeman raised the sun with the power of his voice. He would just say "Good Morning, Sun", & it would rise. G4 is my favorite iteration. The main character was Simon Topping, a Methodist minister. He wasn't perfect, he wasn't all-knowing...in fact, he put his faith in rather unsolveable problems. But he had a good heart, & he wasn't stupid, he just was kind of in denial. Now our main character for G5 is some activist who works for Black Lives Matter, & like Biden, this new person is also just a tool.
Speaking of which, BLM is also a joke. It was a running gag that the white humans always cared about the black humans whilst hilariously ignoring the problems of Native American humans, obviously based on our buffalo, whose problems get marginalized in favor of that of Equestria's own "livestock" species, like the sheep. However, this charicature of Equestrian culture has gotten so far that it's been, frankly, flanderized. I know, I made a reference to a fanfiction, but here we are now. Now the problem has gotten so much more extreme, with the BLM leaders getting mansions from donations, that it's not realistic anymore. Equestria's Sheep Lives Matter never got away with anything that ridiculous.
Also, they are clearly making the Chinese very OP. Obviously they're the "babies" of one of the writers. Or the writers are G1 fans but don't understand what G1 was all about, considering that G1 Chinese were tough, but Deng Xiaoping was a fairly decent leader by the standards of their history...sure he was partly a force behind Tiannamen, but that was the joke, that the guy who killed peaceful protestors was the nicest leader they had in decades. But Xi is a hardass, plain & simple.
Don't get me wrong, I'll always be a fan of G4 humans. I like both the official wiki & the fan wiki. Simon Topping will always be best protag. The Occupy Wall Street episodes were really inspirational, despite the incredibly sad ending, & will always be the best episodes of all. That was a good season. The IRA, based on our Changeling National Army, which had been teased since the beginning but never seemed to make any major moves, almost came back, However, the latest generation of humans is so ludicrous that it called attention to me that I wasn't supposed to be a Humie forever.
I've been exchanging letters with a pony named Quibble Pants, & he basically agrees with me. Daring Do's new direction is okay, but My Little Human has sunk to an all-time low. Bad jokes that all run on the premise of "everybody's stupid"! My Fatass Human was more subtle than this. They're clearly dumbing it down for its new, younger audience. Kids are okay with the joke being that everybody's stupid. But not me. I quit G5 humans.
It's time to focus more on real-world matters, like learning magic, Equestrian history, & friendship. Time to be responsible.
Thank you.
Outside of the fairly center right tone of this, mostly I'm curious about when on Earth we learned about David Tennant's penis
I'm trying to figure out if this is a combination of a parody and an announcement of leaving the site, or just a parody
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Well, I wasn't exactly leaving the site, per se, but my old lifestyle is over.
I'm definitely going to admin a couple of groups on FIMFic, so I'll be here, & still in touch with all of the friends I made on this site, but I'm not sure if I'll publish a lot of new fanfics or even republish many old ones. Maybe, but I don't think so.
I also will not use my blog for the things I used to anymore, if I blog any more content.
I really should focus more on the real world overall. I've been working two jobs, have been reshaping the yard, have been watching science documentaries & learning from them, have been learning martial arts, have been learning guitar, finally am finding my passion in theater, have original story ideas, am part of a larger fanfic project, found Discord servers more inclined to cater to religion & language learning than the usual anime & video games & like these servers better, the list goes on. I'm just a bit of a busy guy. I've got nothing against writing fanfiction, I just don't think I will be writing it that much on my own end these days. Maybe I'll republish a few old things of mine here & there, maybe I'll come up with another whacky holiday special here & there, but overall progress will be slow or nonexistent.
I'll still be around on FIMFic for lots of other stuff. I'll be happy to admin groups, comment on stories & blogs, & even keep in touch with people over DMs. I just will not as much to my own fanfics as I used to be, basically.
I have no grudge against G5, BTW. I just haven't seen it, & probably won't, because G4 is all we ever needed because of how good the writing was. I still like animated series & shows (I've been watching The Clone Wars lately, good series). But if you like it, that's okay.
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Actually yes. Just check out the Doctor Who Uncyclopedia page. Nope, not photoshopped. Taken from an adult stage play. That's a real thing.
5662168
Ah..... I respect that.... I should probably follow your example, to be honest! But I am glad you will be sticking around. You seem like a good sentient being.
Also, your new name means "devil's advocate" in Latin, right?
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Yes it does. Thank you! You don't seem so bad yourself.
& again, I'll still be here to admin forums & keep in touch with my friends, maybe even cyber-date, if I find anybody willing. But for now, I won't publish fanfics often (especially not new stories; republishing old stories is a bit more likely) & I won't be blogging the same content as before, if any content. I think this is a good end of the blog style I used to have, when it wasn't as helpful or informative as before. If I do go back to blogging, it might be a little bit more helpful for life-related things, or at least offer deeper literary analyses than previously.
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Writing can help with emotional stuff... I once wrote a particularly....gruesome piece that was me exploring the theatrical side of mankind and its capacity for cruelty.... another one was about corruption in politics...
I think I should write another one, as my father passed this last March, and I'm still dealing with the festering wounds that now adorn my stilll-beating heart....
But I am glad you have found a form of peace, a form of which I have yet to find...