You've been waiting a long time... · 7:03pm Apr 1st, 2022
Too long.
For these past three months, you’ve gazed up at the sky and your feeds for any signs of hope. Any sign of his return.
And you’ve found none.
…until now.
*bum buh-buh-bum-buh-bum*
That’s right, folks.
*bum buh-buh-bum-buh-bum*
Hope has returned.
*bum buh-buh-bum-buh-bum, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh*
The hero Equestria needs has put on the cape once again…
*bum buh-buh-bum-buh-bum, bum buh-buh-bum-buh-bum, Bah-Dah-Dah-DAAAAAAAH*
Supermane returns!
But first, a little reward for your patience. Or impatience, or whatever you’ve been feeling if you even still care about this anymore. A preview. Because you all have waited long enough, and before I drop it tomorrow, I wanna give you a little taste of the marvelous adventures that are to come.
So without further to do…a small sample of what I have in store for you, true believers…
“I always knew it was a lie…”
Heavy metal boots clopped across the rooftop.
“That goodie-goodie colt scout image…all fake. You could never be one of us.”
A black cape billowing in the night wind.
“Ponykind doesn’t need you flying around like some kind of god…and tonight, I’m going to show them that.”
A pair of dark narrow ears rising up like a demon’s horns.
“Because I am vengeance…I am the night…I am…”
The heavily armored figure struck a dramatic pose as her voice rose to a growl.
“…Batmare.”
Supermane, for his own part, just blinked in mild confusion. “…I’m sorry. You’re the Batmare?”
The armored figure scoffed. “What, are you dense? Are you retar–“
“Yeah, no,” Dawning quickly cut her off. “You’re definitely not the Batmare.”
The “Batmare” smirked. “Oh, you think you’re so smart, don’t you, spacepony? You don’t hold a candle to the brains I have in this skull of mine, boy. I’ve prepped. I’ve planned ahead. The instant you stepped onto this roof, you lost this little contest.”
“And what’s with the word emphasizing?” Dawning asked. “It just sounds like you’re–“
But the “Batmare” had reached down and pushed a button on the cuff of one gauntlet. With a loud ka-chakk, four metallic cuffs sprung up and clamped themselves around Supermane’s hooves.
Dawning frowned. “Ma’am, I’ve only just met you and I’m really not into this sort of thing…”
“And now that I’ve got you good and pinned down, I’ll just go right ahead and soften you up.” She pulled a rather large gun from her belt. “That’s soften you up…as in for the kill.”
“Batmare” raised the gun, aimed at Supermane’s head, and pulled the trigger. An explosive bullet shot out and exploded directly in Supermane’s face with a loud bang and a gust of smoke. Soon it cleared…revealing Supermane still intact and looking a little annoyed now.
“Okay, um…ow?”
“Batmare” grunted in frustration, reloading and firing another round that exploded against Supermane’s chest.
“Alright, I think that’s enough. Now why don’t you take all that off and–“
“Oh, we’re just getting started,” She said, throwing the gun aside and raising her armored hooves. “You’re gonna hurt, you self-righteous, self-possessed, self-absorbed, sack of crap.”
Some little, child-like part of Dawning Hope’s brain wanted to reply “I know you are, but what am I?”. It took a great deal of strength for him to not do so.
Instead he just frowned as “Batmare” charged forward with a loud battle cry, throwing a punch at his face–
–that instantly shattered the metal gauntlet and boot around her hoof on contact. She stared in shock as it came apart and fell to the ground.
Dawning sighed. “Okay, now, before you seriously hurt yourself…” With absolutely no effort whatsoever, he pulled a foreleg out from one of the cuffs–they were a size too big anyway–and delievered a tap to the “Batmare”’s cowled head, knocking her out with a soft thunk and watching as she dropped to the floor.
Just then, another figure, also clad in a black cape and a cowl with pointed ears, silently leapt up to the rooftop. She came up beside him and looked down at the fallen imposter. “Another one?”
“Afraid so,” Dawning replied.
Batmare–the real one–sighed. “Damn copycats…”
Dawning shrugged. “It’s alright, no harm done. Just glad she decided to come after me and not somepony else. You want me to bring her in?”
“No, thank you,” Batmare said. “I’ll take care of it. My image, my problem.” She picked up the unconcious imposter and slung her over her back. “Sorry for the trouble.”
Dawning smiled as he lifted up into the air. "No apologies necessary. You have a good night."
...I sincerely hope y'all can forgive me for this.
I actually wasn't going to do a Supermane April Fool's joke this year, but then I got into reminiscing about last year's joke, and in the end I decided to just go for it.
I'm still working on the actual next chapter, and while I'm still inching along between my final semester, I at least feel like I'm picking up the pace again. I'm not gonna promise a release date, but I'm hoping to finally have it done either by the end of this month or early the next, and finally get this story back on track.
I feel awful that it's taken so long. And for those of you who want to see it continue, if any are left, I'm sorry to be slacking on you.
Keep looking up, True Believers.
(Also yes, this 'verse will have a Batmare eventually, and she'll be a lot less Frank Miller than this nutjob)
Got a good chuckle out of this.
Yeah. I can definitely forgive it. It's certainly quite entertaining. :-D Especially since it's kind of a "Reality Ensues" deal concerning somebody who doesn't have godlike powers trying to fight somebody who DOES.
And I hope that, if and when Batmare DOES eventually come in, it will be a lot closer to Adam West than Frank Miller. Then again, given that the Adam West Batman was essentially Superman without the powers, well -
This was a hoot.
Batmare: Imposters like you always forget one little detail.
I'M NOT WEARING HOCKEY PADS!!!
Oh man, this was silly as hell and I loved it!