Director's cut: Should Have Taken My Hoof · 5:11am Mar 6th, 2022
To start things off, fun fact: I was on a bit of a cold streak, with my last seven stories, up to ‘Should Have Taken My Hoof’, hadn’t broken 40 likes, and my last story did the worst that a story had done in a long time. I think a 100+ like ‘Should Have Taken My Hoof’ ended that streak.
With that out of the way, I think this story had the most cuts & edits out of all my stories, or chapters in the case of multi-chapter stories. But before I get to that, I’ll start with how I usually start these “director’s cut” blogs–with how I got the idea for the story the blog is about and thoughts about it. I’ll try to make sure you don’t fall asleep.
The idea for it came about a year ago, and I was just sitting on it until the urge to write it became strong enough to go for it. A few weeks after I wrote “I’ve Been Waiting For You’, a comedic post-season 5 finale story, the itch to write it came, and came hard. I can’t remember what exactly sparked the idea, though. Maybe the idea to have a timeline where Firelight had free reign to “preserve” Equestria for Starlight, and have fun with it popped in my head when I was watching a rerun of “The Parent Map” episode.
As for Firelight’s names for Starlight, I didn’t want to only copy names he used for her in canon, so I made up a few, and the fan nickname “Glimglam” sounds like something he might call Starlight. Whether the canon Starlight would like it is anyone’s guess.
Now for the story’s noteworthy cuts and edits. Bronies and pegasisters, I hope you are sitting down, because this is going to be a long one! I'm even going to have to leave any that I’d consider “honorable mentions” out of this blog because there were that many edits/cuts; something I rarely do in these blogs.
To start things off, instead of just saying what some of the first cuts/edits were, I’m going to show a scene in the early part of the story that was cut. There are probably some grammar errors in it, since this was cut before I reached the proofreading stage.
“Starlight, don’t do this! I know it hurt when Sunburst left you for Princess Celestia’s school, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make more friends!”
“But what if they leave me too?” Starlight asked, tears bubbling in her eyes, holding a half-torn Starswirl the Bearded stroll.
“Then keep trying! If you truly want friendship, then I’m sure you’ll find friends that won’t leave you! They’re out there waiting for you!”
“Yeah, listen to Twilight!” Spike chimed in from Twilight’s back. “She’s the Princess of Friendship, so friendship is her specialty!”
“Okay, then what did you do the first time a friend left you?”
Twilight’s pupils shrank; Spike whistled inconspicuously.
“Uh…w-well, it never happened to us. Before I moved to Ponyville, I thought friendship was a waste of time, and Spike is like my little brother. My view on friendship’s value has changed a lot since then.” The ex-asocial mare snorted and smiled sheepishly.
The tears in Starlight’s eyes dried, her rage rebuilding. “So, let me get this straight: just because it didn’t happen to you, you’re gonna talk as if you know how it feels to be left behind, just because of your title? Talk about ego!”
“W-well, while it didn’t happen to Spike or me, Applejack’s little sister, a filly named Apple Bloom, did endure something similar.”
“Okay, I’ll bite,” Starlight said with a roll of her eyes. “What’s the story with this ‘Apple Bloom’?”
“Before she got her Cutie Mark, Apple Bloom was being picked on for not having one, making her want hers that much more. When her friend received hers, making Apple Bloom the only pony in her class to not have one, she became even more desperate for it. However, she soon met two other fillies that also didn’t have Cutie Marks, and they’ve been best friends after since!”
”I see.” Starlight’s scowl waned. “So what happened to Apple Bloom’s friend that got a Cutie Mark? Are they still friends with her?”
Uh-oh. Twilight nervously rubbed the back of her head, wearing a sheepish smile. “Uh…hehe, here’s the thing: after Apple Bloom met and befriended the two fillies I told you about, she seemed to…kinda stop hanging out with her first friend.”
Starlight’s eyes closed, her head raising in vindication. “In other words, thanks to a Cutie Mark, they aren’t friends anymore. Besides, if Apple Bloom didn’t meet those two fillies so conveniently or if they already had their Cutie Marks, what would have happened?”
“You know, I never thought deeper into that.”
“Me either,” Spike said. “Maybe you shouldn’t have used Apple Bloom as an example.”
“Yeah, it sounded a lot better in my head.” Twilight admitted, then thought, ‘And Moondancer might have never wanted friends again if I didn’t go back to tell her sorry for leaving her behind.’
She slapped her cheek; this wasn’t the time to wonder if Starlight was on to something. “Even so, I’m pretty sure Apple Bloom would have gotten over it and made another friend eventually. However, I will admit that I can’t prove that Cutie Marks never end friendships and maybe you have some points I hadn’t considered.” Twilight stepped forward, her eyes oozing new understanding, but not enough to change her opinions on Cutie Marks. “Still, do you really want ponies to not have what makes them special, just so Cutie Marks won’t ever cause problems?”
“Well, duh,” Starlight answered in a huff. “What do you think I was trying to do in my village? Take a nap or write fanfiction?”
“Fair enough, but still, it’s not right to take ponies’ Cutie Mark just so you can feel more secure. How would you feel if I took away your Cutie Mark and your ability to cast spells, even if you wanted to keep them? Would you be able to look at me as your friend, let alone a true friend, no matter what my reasons were?”
Starlight grimaced. “I…never thought about it that way. Maybe?”
“Starlight?” Twilight asked firmly.
“Ugh, fine! Maybe I wouldn’t, but it’s not just that I’m a scared pony. I want ponies to be the same so nopony would ever be treated better than others due to Cutie Marks, or be picked on due to them like Apple Bloom was. Seriously, don’t that sound nice?” Starlight’s eyes darkened, a scowl forming. “Or are you against it because you are better than other ponies and want to keep it that way? I may hate you, but I’d be blind to not see that you are an exceptional pony, even if you weren’t an alicorn.”
“N-no! That’s not it, I promise! I would even hate it if ponies thought I was better than them just because I’m good at magic or an alicorn. Besides, we are the same, even with different Cutie Marks!”
Twilight laid a hoof over her chest. “When somepony pleases us, we feel joy. When somepony disappoints or lets us down, we feel sadness, or feel regret if we’re the ones that let them down. When somepony hurts another, we feel anger and a desire to take action. And not only that, all ponies want everypony to be treated fairly, even if they have different Cutie Marks. I’d even push for it!”
“Well…” Starlight muttered, gazing away.
Twilight reached her hoof toward the torn villainess. “So put away that silly old scroll and take my hoof, Starlight. If you truly want friends that won’t leave you behind, I can be that friend, and I mostly don’t hold grudges. Spike, you want to be Starlight’s friend too, right?”
“Uh–”
“Spike says ‘yes.’”
I really liked a bunch of the lines in it, like the one where Starlight sarcastically asked Twi if she thought Starlight was just taking a nap or writing fanfiction in her own village. However, I felt things were going a bit too slowly and I didn’t think the jokes in this part were worth it. It was a tough choice to make the cut, and I’m really not sure if it was for the best or not.
The next notable edit was about Starlight mocking Twilight for being wrong about Equestria becoming a dead world again. She didn’t originally do it after Spike asked her if they were in Sire’s Hollow, but she instead immediately noticed something wasn’t right.
Similar to how just showing the previously mentioned cut scene would be easier than just saying what the changes were, I’ll show another scene that has a few more things that were later cut. This one is much shorter.
“I know, but I was so busy panicking when Starlight threatened to tear Starswirl’s stroll, I forgot that I can memorize spells after only casting them once. After I write another stroll, we’ll just have to find the map again, go back in time, and keep trying to stop Starlight.”
Starlight dove to Twilight’s hooves and beggingly crossed her forelegs. “Then take me with you! If you redo the spell, it might not send me back with you automatically! I could be stuck here!”
“And how is that our problem?” Spike asked, his arms crossed. “It’ll work in our favor if you can’t go back.”
“I know I wasn’t the nicest pony to you and your friends, but you just can’t leave me behind! If this world’s timeline won’t get overwritten, I will never escape my dad thanks to his ‘silly filly’ detectors!”
“Again, how is that our problem?”
Starlight sighed in reluctant agreement. “Fair point. Okay, tell you both what: if you take me with you, I’ll promise to never steal a single Cutie Mark again and won’t attempt to have revenge on you!”
Twilight asked, “You promise?”
Starlight vigorously nodded. “Yes, I promise! Revenge is overrated anyway!”
Like with the first cut scene, the cuts made from the above scene were done to try to trim the story down. 'Should Have Taken My Hoof' probably would have been at least over 4,000 words if no cuts were made.
Yet another edit was to the number of conditions Twi made Starlight have to accept. The last one, when Starlight couldn’t rub it in if Twi was incorrect about something, was a late add-on. I threw it in soon after I added in Starlight dancing to troll Twilight to further play off it.
Finally, the last noteworthy edit was to how the story ended. It was actually changed twice.
Originally, when Spike was about to tell Starlight what Twilight did when she was drunk, Twilight warned him that if he told Starlight, Twilight would throw him back into the past – which he did – and the story ended. I first changed it by adding narration saying that it was “unknown how Spike avoided not being thrown back into the past and hinted that either Twi was bluffing or Starlight herself went back to fetch Spike. Then I started wondering if the threat, either serious or now, was a bit too much. Thus I edited the ending again and had Twilight instead threaten to show his doll of Rarity to the rest of the mane 6.
To be fair to yourself, due to less readers overall, it is more difficult to get upvotes and/or engagement now than it was even two years ago.