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"Anything described can be described s'more." -the Lolly Family

More Blog Posts229

  • Monday

    That is all. :pinkiehappy:

    7 comments · 71 views
  • 1 week
    YouTube reading! Woo!

    Have you ever said to yourself, "Self, I sure do like that No Nose Knows story, but I wish I could listen to it, like while I'm driving, or doing household chores and such. But I cannot stand that automated reader! Alas, poor me!"

    Read More

    5 comments · 235 views
  • 1 week
    Some Not-Pony words for you

    So as the overtime continues to flow forth like the Plauges of Egypt (I think we just passed boils and we're now moving into fire and brimstone), I thought I'd share some early Irrespective writing that isn't pony related with you, my erstwhile readers.

    Read More

    6 comments · 171 views
  • 2 weeks
    Happy Father's Day

    "What happened in here?" Celestia asked as she looked over the half inch of water that evenly coated the floor of her personal chambers.

    "Daddy's fixing the leak in the bathroom sink," Apollo replied from atop his perch on the bed. "But it doesn't like him, so it's spitting at him. A lot."

    "I see. Is he still in there?"

    Read More

    15 comments · 526 views
  • 7 weeks
    Here's the deal

    So if you happen to live in the United States, you've probably heard that employers are struggling to fill open positions.

    This is true at my chosen place of employment as well, so it has been decreed that the overtime shall be unlimited until further notice.

    Read More

    12 comments · 379 views

So Relaxing · 12:18pm February 26th

Do you know what I find to be very therapeutic?

Torturing Chrysalis. It's just so much fun! :yay:

Lacking anything better to do—and while trying to ignore the cud chewing that seemed to be going on right next to her right ear—Chrysalis mentally reviewed what information she had on the Crystal Empire. She had sent a couple of scouts when it had first appeared, and she had hoped that at least one of them could have infiltrated and integrated with the locals while the other one reported back. However, Sunbutt had beaten her to the punch, to her immense annoyance, and Studly Do-Right had already raised a small but effective military patrol that had hounded her scouts relentlessly from the moment they had stuck their buggy noses inside the Empire’s borders.

It hadn’t helped that the Crystal Ponies were naturally wary of strangers and outsiders to begin with, thus making it impossible for the scouts to foalnap, pod, and replace a loved one. Once she had been given their report, she had ‘rescheduled’ her planned invasion, since she didn’t have enough ‘lings with enough love to stage a full frontal invasion, nor the resources or time to sneak across Equestria with a small infiltration crew. The priority, then and still, had been to reestablish her hive. 

Provided she could refrain from strangling the miscreant who was kicking her seat still, this trip to the Empire would be her first good look at the Empire, and more specifically, the defenses that Studly had put up around it. If she could just find a small hole in the security—infinitesimal as it may be—she could be sitting on an all-you-can-eat buffet of love, and her power would know no bounds. 

The thought made her giggle with wicked delight. Vengeance was a dish best served cold, and soon, every creature would see just how cold and calculating Queen Chrysalis could be.

* * * *

“Why me?” Pokey asked the heavens above as he jumped over the couplings from the last passenger car to the baggage car. “Why? Did I do something wrong as a child?”

There was no answer, and Pokey ripped the door open as fast as he could. Now that the train was within the borders of the Empire, Princess Celestia had asked him to assemble his ‘Honor Guard’ for the Queen, and to stay with her for the entirety of her visit.

But when he and his fellow guards had returned to the passenger car, she had disappeared. The other passengers informed him she’d left not long after he had, but there had been no reports of her moving forward, or toward the locomotive.

That meant that she’d either jumped off the train entirely, or she was now in the baggage car or the caboose for some idiotic reason. Pokey didn’t figure he’d be lucky enough for the former, so once he’d entered the car and shut out the snow, he began to search among the suitcases and parcels. “Chrysalis? You’d better not be stealing anything back here.”

“Please tell me we’re almost there,” came her muffled reply. 

“Yes, Your Majesty,” he dryly replied while moving around a large crate. “We’ll be arriving in about twenty minutes or so, depending on the weather. Now, is there any reason why you’re…”

Sergeant Hokey Pokey stopped dead in his tracks, and it took all of his willpower to keep from bursting into hysterical laughter. In the middle of the car, surrounded by emptied out suitcases and vacant bags, was a large pile of sweaters, scarves, mittens and coats, with a pair of Changeling eyes peering back at him with annoyance. 

“Shut up!” Chrysalis snapped from somewhere inside the pile. “This isn’t funny!” 

“Okay, so walk me through the logic on this,” Pokey replied. “Why did you decide to leave the heated passenger car, and to move back here to the unheated baggage car when you knew the Crystal Empire was surrounded by snowstorms and ice fields?”

“Nopony told me there would be a blizzard!” she shouted back. “I thought it would be a few snow drifts and some random flakes. You ponies control the weather, don’t you? Why on earth don’t they take care of that mess outside?!”

“The storms that come off the northern mountain ranges are too large for us to handle. We can keep things under control in the Empire proper, but not outside of it. Besides, it keeps nosy little bugs from buzzing into places where they shouldn’t be.”

“You could have warned me.” The pile began to shiver, and Chrysalis let out an audible shudder. “This is all your fault.”

“I didn’t think I had to. I was fairly sure that you had enough sense to stay in the passenger car.”

“I was going to do something unpleasant if I stayed in there any longer, Pokey,” Chrysalis growled. “I’m a patient ‘ling, but even I have my limits. That calf kicking my seat was this close to being turned into a tenderloin.”

Report Irrespective · 498 views · Story: New Noses To Know · #heehee #bakedbean
Comments ( 5 )

mmmmm.... Tenderloin..... Great now I'm hungry.

The thought made her giggle with wicked delight. Vengeance was a dish best served cold, and soon, every creature would see just how cold and calculating Queen Chrysalis could be.

:pinkiesad2: "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

I also heard that "revenge is sweet." :pinkiesmile:

So... :pinkiegasp:

You've been wanting "ice cream" all this time! :pinkiehappy:

Seeing those first two lines of this blog post pop up in my feed made you sound like a psychopath

That calf kicking my seat was this close to being turned into a tenderloin.”

I can somewhat sympathize with her here.

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