Review of "Twilight Blows Up Nightmare Moon" by iAmSiNnEr · 12:39am Feb 1st, 2022
Today, I will be reviewing “Twilight Blows Up Nightmare Moon” by iAmSiNnEr.
Being a short story, please note that there will be spoilers. You may skip to the stance on the final verdict which has minimal spoilers.
Summary
After Celestia dismissed her warnings about Nightmare Moon, Twilight Sparkle decides to take matters into her own hooves. She finds a spell to be able to travel to the moon so that she can save Equestria.
She then also decides that blowing up Nightmare Moon is the best way to go. Way to go, Twilight!
Content/Flow
How does one review a story if it is simply designed to be comedically silly? Well, I opine that the piece will still portray its merits by considering whether the author was effective in communicating that silliness for a comedic effect. While I will be unable to quantify the comedic effect from this story explicitly, I can analyse the technical aspects of how, for example, the author was able to communicate the eccentricities and juxtapositions that make this story empirically popular.
The premise is simple; Twilight saves Equestria by blowing up Nightmare Moon. Its simplisticity is not lost on anyone, I guarantee; in fact, the short (and long) descriptions spoil virtually the rough outline of the entire story. But, even though the audience is aware of what they are getting into, the reader would be pondering over why or how this story could result in Twilight blowing up Nightmare Moon, and what could possibly happen after.
In many cases, predictability is not necessarily a bad thing, because sometimes, it leads to the reader asking more questions. Piquing the readers’ interest in a piece even before delving into the piece proper is salient in keeping the reader engaged and immersed in a piece.
Here, this was done by how the author starts off with the events in the first episode of the show, something everyone is familiar with. However, the author was quick to remind readers that his story would be deviating from the known arc of bringing Twilight to Ponyville; the author immediately drags the plot towards how Twilight was adamant in working towards stopping Nightmare Moon in a pragmatic, realistic manner, rather than relying on the magic of friendship.
Yet, in spite of that, Twilight’s characterisation remains genuine to how she was portrayed in the show before she understood how important friendship was like. One can trace how she was in the past through, say, “Amending Fences”, to discover congruencies in her personality. It is hence not remotely unbelievable to see Twilight reacting to this circumstance in this way. The story leverages on this creatively to twist the events into something silly and hilarious at the same time. Note how this links to the possibility that, in society, there is a tendency to jump to conclusions at the earliest opportunity without much forethought.
To some extent, the story capitalises on this to help build a veneer of realism in the plot. For instance, the existence of a spell in Twilight’s library to teleport one to the moon is a pretty big stretch. Yes, one could doubt that (and trust me, I did question that), but they could simply dismiss it as something plausible because of the wackiness of this alternate universe.
Indeed, this wackiness was initially tied to Twilight’s decision to blow up Nightmare Moon, inspired from the Power Ponies…which, as I have shown earlier, could be something in the realm of possibility at the time. The story therefore leads you through this wacky plot, and through that initial logic, helps you dismiss how other aspects, such as the presence of such a teleportation spell, is possible.
Detractors might argue otherwise, but I believe that there is a greater, more crucial aspect to it all. Ultimately, the existence of such a spell is not necessarily worth debating because it is a necessary tool to bring Twilight to confront Nightmare Moon and blow her up. With the given knowledge that Twilight would be going towards that, and the fact that this confrontation would be what the reader was interested in, why waste time to justify it?
I posit that much of the immersion would be lost if the author had gone ahead and justified its existence through such exposition, which would not only disrupt the flow of the story, but weaken the pithiness of the prose’s comedy.
This brings me conveniently to my next point — the pacing of the story. Of course, its fast pace contributes volumes by keeping the readers’ attention, ensuring that the story is sharp and engaging. Additionally, I say that it hurries the reader along, seeking to get the reader to the meat of the story, rather than wasting needless time questioning every logical impossibility in the story. Nonetheless, the author’s portrayal and interwoven justification of Twilight’s silly decision already helps bridge the inconsistencies in the “logic” of the story.
An example would be how Twilight had difficulty breathing when she blew up the ground near Nightmare Moon, as the lunar dust invaded her nasal cavities. It’s easy to say that the moon lacks an atmosphere, so how could these particles seep into Twilight’s body, if she was breathing with the aid of an “oxygen breathing” spell? But readers would not bat an eyelid at this because they would be more engrossed by the fight between Nightmare Moon and Twilight, catalysed by how fast the story was progressing in terms of its pacing.
Regrettably, the fight scene between Nightmare Moon and Twilight was less than ideal. One saving grace would be that the rapid pacing of the story complements that of this fight, but the remaining aspects warrant a more detailed discussion. Being central to how Twilight would blow up Nightmare Moon, its engagement would be pivotal in reader immersion. To start, let’s consider the following excerpt.
“Nope!” Nightmare Moon replied cheerfully as a blue-colored bolt of magic slammed into Twilight, sending her flying.
Oomph, Twilight rolled on the ground, groaning from where she had slammed into it at high speed.
The first paragraph displays a punchy, choreographed attack from Nightmare Moon with accompanying dialogue. Notice how Nightmare Moon’s “cheerfulness” and display of her magical prowess fit well; it shows how nonchalant she was in this fight, and her confidence in her abilities. This has the added bonus of showing Nightmare Moon’s arrogance as part of her characterisation.
However, the second paragraph is less worthy of praise. Specifically, Twilight’s reaction to Nightmare Moon’s attack was rather underwhelming, merely “rolling” on the barren lunar surface, and “groaning”. While the second clause did state that “[Twilight]...had slammed into it at high speed”, it is merely a rehash of the descriptor used above, which is convoluted.
The fight continues with a collection of magical spells, including “stun, transfiguration and freeze spells”, though the story barely showcases much of their effects, if at all. The story explicitly states how Twilight cast a stun spell, or how Nightmare Moon put up a shield. One could argue that it was for the sake of word economy, but some description on the sheer magnitude of power, or magical aura emanating would have been tactful to show how high the stakes were for both parties. That could be done through describing the intensity of light radiating from the beams, for example.
Then we have the ending. It was funny to see Twilight’s sudden realisation that she had “accidentally” attacked Celestia’s sister because she went ahead and jumped to conclusions. To see how Twilight went all out to achieve her goals, seemingly at all cost to her magical capability with that explosion, which was “one hundred and sixty-nine thousand, three hundred fifty-seven and two-thirds times bigger than the earlier one”, earned quite a chuckle.
Celestia’s reaction, too, was hysterical. In this case, the sudden jump into the ending sequence only accentuated the juxtaposition between the reader’s (and Celestia’s) expectation and reality.
Language
Technical errors were rare in this piece, though I was still able to spot some punctuational anomalies, namely this example quoted below.
“Has my sister sent me a snack?” The alicorn hissed. “As graceful as the gesture is, it will not work. Once I shall return to Equestria, the night will last," she threw her head back as she cackled evilly—“FOREVER!”
“Has my sister sent me a snack?” the alicorn hissed. “As graceful as the gesture is, it will not work. Once I shall return to Equestria, the night will last”—she threw her head back as she cackled evilly—“FOREVER!”
Stance
A sharp, comedic take on how Twilight could have reacted to the prophecy of Nightmare Moon, though I wonder how a more exhilarating fight scene would have helped to accentuate that message, specifically in showing how Twilight might have no choice but to show no mercy. Have a read of this, I recommend it.
Content/Plot: 7/10
Flow/Communication: 7.3/10
Language: 7.3/10
Overall: 7.2/10
Verdict: Recommended
Oh, and Sin? Happy lunar new year!
