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Rumble review (or ramble) · 4:24am Dec 21st, 2021

Most of you may not know, but I've always been a fan of Kaiju movies, having been exposed to the various Godzilla movies of old. I actually remember seeing the teaser trailer in theaters for Sonic the Hedgehog, before Covid-19 rocked the entire world and made everything stop. While the teaser was, admittedly, cringey, my little kid mind was excited to see an animated movie where Kaijus fighting was not only normal, but are spectacles, very similar to something like WWE... who were also responsible for helping making this movie, to my surprise. But covid happened, and the original January 2021 release of this movie passed, but now, it's returned, with a better trailer, AND... it's a Paramount plus exclusive...

If any of you are curious, no, I did NOT went through the hassle to make a Paramount Plus account and download the app. Instead, just like with MLP G5, I used the same website to watch G5 with to watch this for free. And what did I think about it!? ... Meh... it was ok... nothing spectacular. I will be getting into spoiler territory, so... begone. It's at least worth a rent on redbox, or a view on Paramount Plus if you have one, as a friend of mine has.


Admittedly, I did not know that this movie was VERY loosely based on a book called Monster on the Hill. Though folks I've chatted to also didn't know The Bad Guys is also based on a book series under the same name. (And off topic, I may take my niece to see that)

The similarities with the book are the following.
-It's a world in which giant monsters do exist.
-Various places have a monster that's more or less a local celebrity and draws in tourists.
-The lead monster is named Rayburn.

The differences is practically everything else! By that, the setting in the book is that it's in the 1900's, and the monsters terrorize the areas they live in. And... well, you can clearly see the differences in book Rayburn and movie Rayburn... and Tentacular. (Best to see his book version for yourself)

But I'm not gonna be those people that will explain what the movies left out from the book, since I've never read the book fully, only saw a video review of it on YouTube. (The host pretty much gave it 5 stars, btw). No, I'm gonna judge the movie for what it is!

I will get this out of the way, but the humans in this movie do look like Fortnite skins, especially the lead human/coach, Winnie. And yes... that's her name... and she's the daughter of a previous coach. As for Rayburn... actually, we follow Rayburn Jr, who calls himself Steve, because his father was a world famous monster wrestler. Oh, and Winnie's father is the coach to Rayburn Jr/Steve's father as well. So... a huge, convoluted connection where the children of a wrestler/coach duo have to work together to save their town. And the reason why the town needs help is because Tentacular was supposed to be that town's champion, but he pulled a Lebron James and left that town for another one, all because they'd pay him more, and with no monster as their town mascot, to prevent the town from going bankrupt, the mayor agreed to let the stadium be destroyed to make room for a parking lot with shuttles that'll take them to the town where Tentacular resides in.

So yeah... it's an underdog story where 2 nobodies will soon fight the bigger and stronger bad guy at the end, as a way to save the town stadium, and their fathers' legacies. So how was it executed? ... well... the leads did say that they wouldn't be like their fathers, so instead, they'll do their own thing. And by that, as you can guess, is Steve/Rayburn Jr fighting other monsters by... dancing. I can understand that it's a kid's movie, and it's meant to be wrestling like the WWE, but I think the movie failed a bit in the reason why I just wanted to see it in the first place; The Kaiju fights.

By that, I get fighting is physical, but surely they could've had these monsters have different and unique abilities. Besides Tentacular's... tentacles, dividing and becoming 3 separate tentacles on each arm, all the monsters were just a different take on being physical. While it was acceptable for one or two of these monsters, I wanted to see some crazy ass abilities! Like, maybe there's one who can change size from being small to being gigantic. Or maybe there's one that's constantly oozing and there's no way to get a good grip on them. How about a Godzilla parody with a lizard that shoots from its mouth? Basically, I was disappointed that they didn't do much, and the fights themselves were so short, and our lead monster took them down with a few dance moves. But the final fight... well... this moment made me laugh hard, but not in the way it was meant to be.

It does the trope where our fighter is on the floor, seemingly beaten, but usually because of the crowd cheering or a flashback (it was the former BTW), they get back up and win. But how Steve/Rayburn Jr got up... It was so ridiculous, I have to share it!

Mutha fukka literally T-Poses while getting up! And there was no shot of his tail helping him stand up, nor helicopters picking him up. He's literally T-Posing as if he was Jesus Christ being lifted on the crucifix! I don't even think this was supposed to be part of the movie! I'm pretty sure when Covid happened, T-Pose rising was a placeholder, but because they were way past deadlines and couldn't do anything before releasing it to Paramount Plus, they just said Fuck it and kept it in. I was literally in stitches seeing that, I had to rewind to see if I missed something, but no! This is how it is! Kaiju rises in a T-Pose and wins the match! Thank you and good night for this ramble on a Mediocre kid's movie only elevated by a scene some producers didn't give a fuck about as long as the movie is finished for Paramount Plus.

Comments ( 4 )

while I don't have a subscription to streaming services bet that movies gonna flop hard I also never heard of it

Would've flopped in theaters, but it's on Paramount Plus. And you're not alone, as it was barely talked about.

I remember seeing a trailer for this when I went to the theater one time and thought it didn't seem too bad might give it a watch cause I love me some wrestling.

Like I mentioned, I just wanted to see some Kaiju action. Pacific Rim (excluding the sequel) and Legendary's Godzilla movies (until cut to the human drama) are great fills for my young at heart self, and I wanted to see something that was a bit more cartoony, lol

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