Random Idea #76: Magic Fortress Rewrite, aka MF2 or ctf_apploosa

I've been dissatisfied with how I wrote the first version for a while. Way, way too serious. It was a common issue whenever I took a look at TF2's fanfic scene, something it seems very few have been able to capture the humor of the comics, yet I tried to do the same anyways.

However, I was never really able to come up with something I was happy with, outside of a few aborted scenes. I only really have a teaser of sorts written, dunno if the rest of it will ever see the light of day, so here it is:

Trailer 2

A stout Earth pony steps onto the stage, waiting for the applause to die down. Behind him, the screen showed two images: one was the picture of a crowbar, the other was of a simplistic pony stepping out of a blue circle.

“Thank you, everypony. Now, this last game has been the result of many revisions, redesigns, and balance testing. After seven years of development, we hope it will have been worth the wait.”

10

9

8

7...

---

TickTockTickTockTickTockTickTock...

A purple foot kicks off her bed covers. The purple-skinned girl sits up, yawning.

She ties her hair in a bun, and places it underneath a hardhat. Red overalls go over a thick cotton shirt. She reaches to the side of her room and lifts a large, red toolbox.

“Mission begins in sixty seconds.”

She yawns, rubbing her eyes. Safety goggles plop onto her nose, and tied behind her head. She slips on a red labcoat, and adjusts the nametag. She walks to a lever, and pulls it down. A large, wall mounted bar begins to spin, trailing crackling red light.

”Mission begins in thirty seconds.”

She rolls her neck, a small, arrogant sneer forming. She reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a weighty, iron wrench.

Portal fully charged.

“5...

4...

3...

2...

1..

Twilight stepped into the shimmering wall of light.

Begin!

The Engineer.
Name: Twilight Sparkle
Role: Area Denial

Twilight Sparkle appears in a flash of light from a floor-based teleporter as a unicorn pony, stepping into a wooden building. Her toolbox drops onto the floor. It beeps, then opens up. An ammo drum rises, then legs fold out. Her wrench, floating in her telekinetic grip, thwacks the back of the machine. The gun barrel attaches, whirs, spins, and points forward. The legs step fully out of the box, which Twilight sweeps to the side. The Sentry gun swivels, clicking as ammunition feeds lock into place.

Twilight stows the wrench, then unsheathes a shotgun. Clink-clack. Beep-beep.

A blur of blue and pink and feathers shoots through a doorway. The turret spins, and spits.

The blur wobbles, and crashes into a wall. The Scout peels her face off the wall. “What the hay was that!?” she complains.

Twilight sneers. “Heh-hiii, can’t out-run a bullet, can you?”

The Scout shrieks in surprise. Twilight points her shotgun at her and fires. The sentry sings in accompaniment.

On the other side of town, there sits a large, blue concrete building. Two entrances sit on the first floor. Smoke billows out of them, and forms a large, black furred pony. He wears a heavy flak jacket with a Blue hoof stamped on the side. A minigun floats out of his chest, and he rears and grips it, setting the barrels spinning. 

Several Soldiers spill out of the Red, wooden building across from him. 

The black furred pony laughs.

The Heavy.
Name: Sombra
Role: Mow Down

“EEYAAAAAAAAAA!” 

TATATATATATATA The minigun screams. Crystal shards fill the air, tearing the other team into bloody chunks. Their return fire only manages to briefly disrupt his smokey haze. “Back to the mineshafts with you, babies! Daaa haha ha!” he cackles, sweeping the area in a hoze of projectiles.

While he sprayed, a lithe figure steps onto the Red Battlements. Her pink coat gleams underneath a rough sunhat, roughened from years under the sun. Under her wings she wears a leather vest, a row of bullets across the breast, and a red t-shirt underneath. Her magic glows, and withdraws a slim, rugged sniper rifle.

The Sniper.
Name: Mi Amore Cadenza
Role: Precision Elimination

Cadence peers down her sights. Sombra laughs at the sea of corpses, shouting, “Ha-ha! Run, cowards, run!” He patted his large gun. “You did good, Phyrite. Real--”

Cadence breathes out slowly, a spark of pink magic shooting across the barrel, and fired.

A crystal needle impales Sombra between his eyes, then explodes. Cadence’s magic racks the bolt, a crystal shard floating out of her pocket and into the rifle. “Go take a smoke, sootshack,” she mutters under her breath. She raises the scope, and resumes scanning the field. Crack “Your flames aren’t gonna protect you this time.”

Behind her, a chunk of wood paneling shifts. A flash of muted flame burns it away, leaving a black, chitinous equine. She adjusts a blue tie, and raises a knife.

The Spy.
Name: Chrysalis
Role: Uncloak and Dagger

Chrysalis flicks the butterfly knife open in her telekinetic grip, creeping forwards. Got you, she thinks, then stabs.

Cadence’s eye bugs out, her rifle tumbling off the battlements. “GaaaaAAAaahhh,” she gurgles, reaching for her back before her legs give out and sends her chasing after her rifle. 

“Thanks for the Empire, sweetcheeks,” she calls down at the corpse. A flash of blue flames cover her, then leaves a red-shirted Cadence standing in her place.

She smiles at a pink and blue blur pauses and looks up at her, brushing a skyblue mane off her pink-furred face. “Be done in a second, slow down a little, filly.”

The Scout.
Name: Firefly
Role: Rapid Recovery

Firefly grins, but the blue Scout, dressed only in a blue T-shirt with a Logo of Wings on one shoulder, dashes into the Red base. She pauses briefly at corners, this time, with a lever-action shotgun pointed ahead of her. Seeing nothing, she sprints up the stairs and checks through the next opening. 

Chrysalis, disguised as Cadence, leans on top of a sparking Sentry gun. Twilight laid face-down in a pool of her own blood, a knife sticking out of her back. Chrysalis’s tongue flicks at her hoof, licking blood off of it, then points off to the side, smiling. “Hallway’s all yours, filly.”

Firefly rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah, I’m on it.” Her wings snapped out and propelled her down the downwards spiral path. A Pyro walked out in front of her. 

Firefly’s eyes bugs out, noticing that she hadn’t turned to look at her yet. With a burst of speed, she glides near the ceiling, then gives the Pyro a four-hooved kick to the face. 

BANG

She shakes the blood off her shotgun. “That’s taken care of,” she says, before running into the Red’s Intelligence Room. Sitting on a table, unguarded, was a Red Briefcase.

She laughs, picking it up and holding it tightly under her wing. “Homerun, here I come!” She turns around and gets a lemon to her face. “Hey what gives?” In surprise, she tries prying it off, only getting it stuck to her hoof. She shakes it, but gets distracted by a lime and an orange knocking her over. They start beeping. “Oh shi--!”

BA-BA-BOOM

“This is my room, fruitcake!” a voice laughs, stepping into the room.

The Demoman.
Name: Discord
Role: House Cleaning

Discord snaps open a grenade launcher, blindly stuffing munitions into the empty chambers. He wore two eyepatches and a beanie. His torso was covered in a flak vest and rows of grenades over a red wool shirt. He shuffles over and pats the briefcase. “Ah, I do love the taste of lime and defeat in the morning. Off to visit your home!”

---

The Demoman slinks around corners, as bullets and rockets fly over the battlements. After a moment, he meets the hallways to the Blu base’s Intel Room. 

“RAAAAAHHHH!” the Blu heavy shouts, turning a corner. 

Before the minigun could spin up, Discord quickdraws a grenade launcher from his pocket. “Pow!” The cluster of limes vaporize the Shadow pony. “Ha-ha!” Chuckling, he stows his weapon and slinks forward, pausing at the sound of a quiet beeping noise. He slips his talon into a different pocket and snaps out a Super Soaker. 

The Blu Engineer squats inside her Intel Room, her head on a swivel and her mane frayed. “Oh dear oh dear oh dear, where did they go? They know I can’t hold this alone.” Wet, squelching noises catch her ears, only for her to see Blue bubbles float underneath her Sentry. In a panic, she pulls out her pistol and fires, trying to pop as many of them as she could. “Not again!” she cried.

Then the entire world exploded, and that was that.

---

Discord peeked his head out the opening towards the bridge that separates the two forts. Seeing a momentary lull, he darts out, the Blue briefcase held tight under his shoulder. A blast of propellant sends him diving towards the ground and rolling. A black shadow arcs over him, trailing smoke. 

Discord rises to his knees, his jaw dropping and stomach sinking as a herd of Nightmares arc across the sigh, raining rockets on him.

The Soldier
Name: Nightmare Moon
Role: Shock and Awe

Discord yelps as he struggles to avoid shrapnel from rockets blowing up around him. He winces when he hastily pats out an ember forming on the briefcase’s papers. A shadow formed over his head. A wall of rockets spiraled towards his position. “This is gonna hurt”

PING

“Huh?”

Discord looked at his limbs, glowing red. 

The Medic.
Name: Luna
Role: Family Medicine

Luna lands with a hard thump besides him, a hose spraying glowing red particles at Discord. “I’ll be taking back my night,” she snarls.

Discord cackles, standing back up and spinning his grenade launcher like a revolver. “Alright, this is our tipping point!” 

The frantic Nightmares hosed the pair with more rockets, but Luna’s glowing wing slaps the rockets away as Discord methodically splattered the Nightmares as the Red pair ran across the bridge.

The red glow flickered out as they caught their breaths inside the lobby of the Red building. Luna shook her head, steam venting from her saddlebags. “Another successful charge! But I need to recharge again.”

“Ach, its fine,” Discord said. “I need reload anyways,” dumping crushed limes and juice out of his weapon. 

Once his weapons were all reloaded, they trot towards their Headquarters. “Hurry!” Luna warns. “They’ll be ready to counter attack soon!”

“Ha!” Discord laughed, tossing rolls of hissing sticky tape onto the ground. “I’d like to see them try catching up through my corridor of raw chaos!”

click click click clic--

Discord spun around, detonating the rolls of tape with a snap of his finger while lobbing another explosive lime with his off hand. To his surprise, the lime flew back and detonates at the Red pair’s feet, sending them crashing into the wall. 

“Dammit Demoman, be more careful with your aim!” Luna snarls, spraying a bit of her healing energy towards herself.

“What!? My aim is perfect!” Discord complains, gesturing at his face. “Two eyepatches, parallax, that’s---”

Click Click Click Click

The shine of a rubber gasmask catches their eye. Her horn sparks with each click, sending firefly like embers drifting down her face. 

Luna’s eyes shrink to pinpricks. “... Oh no. She’s found us.”

The Pyro.
Name: Celestia
Role: Murder, Arson, and Grand Theft Cake

The air pops, then bursts into flames, sending the Red pair screaming in terror and pain. Flames trail from Celestia’s horn, muffled rasping escaping her mask. An ask wrapped in barbed wire slips out from under her wing, and she raises it over her head.

”HUDDA HUDDA HAAAA” she screams, and swings.

DING, DING

---

The flames and the Pyro’s featureless gaze fades from the screen. A stylized wallpaper replaces it, resembling an old sepia photo of the nine classes standing shoulder to shoulder. The words “Magic Fortress 2” is printed below in large block text.

“Welcome to Magic Fortress 2’, and thank you everypony for watching. If you have further questions, please email them to ‘Gabe’, ‘W’, at pipe dot strt. Good night.

”Is ‘Half Lives 2’ ever going to have a third installment? a voice yells in the back of audience.”

Gabe lets out a long suffering sigh.

A/N: Please don’t send emails there, it doesn’t exist.