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I like big ponies and I cannot lie.

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  • Today
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  • 1 week
    Sorry for all the blog spam I did recently

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Survival strategies · 5:00pm Dec 1st, 2021

What would be some good survival strategies as a human in Equestria?

Easy difficulty, you spawn in Canterlot, and you are immediately brought to Princess Celestia for questioning. Normal difficulty, you spawn in Ponyville. Hard difficulty you spawn in the middle of the Everfree Forest. Very hard difficulty, you spawn in Princess Celestia's bedroom with her in it in the middle of the night. Nightmare difficulty, same as Very Hard, but Princess Celestia is the size of an elephant at the very least.

Comments ( 18 )

If you're going to be living around ponies, it would do well to inform them that your bones are thinner and a bit more fragile than theirs. Because their hooves a hard as rocks and they have greater strength, what could be a friendly slug for them could leave us laid up with a serious fracture, even foals roughhousing could leave us with accidentally broken hands or feet, both of which could leave us temporarily crippled. Living in the Everfree would be basically us going back in time when we weren't the dominant predators and had to rely on our tenacity and intelligence to get ahead, our caveman instincts would come out. Would Celestia be the size of an African elephant or an Indian elephant? I the former, then it would make the average pony about the size of southern black rhinoceroses, if the latter, then the average pony would be the size of Bengal tigers, we could easily find ourselves getting squished when ponies weighing several tons accidentally bump into us in a hallway, narrow alley or doorway. And that's not even factoring what effect magic might have on us, we could be immune to it, resistant to it, effected normally like all other creatures of that world or allergic to it. I know there's fics where humans have deathly allergies to magic, but what about them having hay fever-like allergies to magic or breaking out in itchy,painful welts around magic?

Those are some good points. I may take those into consideration in a future story.

I know there's fics where humans have deathly allergies to magic, but what about them having hay fever-like allergies to magic or breaking out in itchy,painful welts around magic?

Does not sound so pleasant. Would kinda ruin the experience for the human. Unless he can get distracted by it somehow by making love to a pony or something.

Or having to take antihistamines to manage the symptoms. It'd be a funny fic of the pony got aggravated because their special somehuman kept nodding off because of the side effects of benadryl when they were trying to make love.

I feel like that needs to be a story. With bendy themes. Big mare. (maybe normal-sized, who knows)

Perhaps being around Earth Ponies the effects aren't so bad. Since they closest to being humans. Being around pegasi (magic plays a part in their flying ability) and unicorns is bad.

Being around an alicorn is unbearable. The effects are much worse.

Hi, folks!
Having detrimental or plain harmful effects on humans from magic is an overused and quite old concept, afair. It offers just wierd overcomplication of life and a degree of suffering for a human, but not much more.
But, knowing your humorous style, why don't you make magic work wierd on a human? Things like when they try to lift a human with telekinesis and... something ridiculous happens instead, etc etera. Quite a vast field of possibilities, including pegasi flying magic and maybe even earth ponies with their affinity to farming and stregnth/endurance, which can be possibly attributed to magic running within their bodies.

The reason is the same: humans come from another dimension with different natural laws.

Yeah, I'm not so sure about it either.

Unless the pony gets big... then I'm happy for her being around a human.

what about humans being immune to some magic, but weak to others? like, magic attacks that would only knock ponies back a few feet, would disintegrate a human, since they have no magical defenses, however, since they have no magic, theyd be invisible to detection spells, like the security system on top of sombras castle.

also since the human body cant process magic very well, potions and spells, that increase stats, have no effect, same for healing. however things like poison joke, or the stormkings petrification grenades wouldnt affect them either.

I like to think the human body would get used to magic over time. Maybe not at first, but it rewrites his DNA or something. Human gets a little stronger and better in the bedroom.

maybe if he keeps eating equestrian food, magical nutrients and minerals would get added to his body. but there could also be a mental component. like, he has to focus his energy into a specific body part, to strengthen it. but if he gets distracted, like by sexy ponies, he´ll weaken. if he gets a boner, all the magic will relocate alongside his blood.
could be funny, if (anthro)twilight tries to teach him breathing techniques to properly oxygenate his blood for better magical conductivity, only for him to get distracted by the rising and falling of her chest, which makes her mad, cause she thinks he doesnt take the training seriously.
for extra difficulty, cumming could instantly deplete his mana, which will take several days to recharge.

And get the Adamantium Skeleton perk.

To make it bendy-themed, pony gets bigger and stronger when he releases inside her.

hmm, or ON her. a couple of your latest blog posts, gave me some ideas for fics. like “warning signs your in a bendyfic”: what if the human is transported into a world with sexy, nudist, big-butted, big-boobed horsepeople and ASSUMES it follows the typical rules of a bendyfic, like that the ponies will instantly love him, and he´d be protected by their innate weight protection magic, only to find the ponies confused on what sex is and why they should have it with a complete stranger. AJ would prolly retreat into her chickencoop, like she did when trenderhoof tried to hit on her, and rainbow would react like she does with zephyr breeze. also when he realizes, that there is no plotarmor protecting him, and reviving the dead is even beyond the princesses power, he has an existential crisis.

and of course the ponies get bigger, but it´d be interesting, if (sans a few exceptions, like rainbow dash, she also wanted to become a dragon in the breezy episode) the ponies dont want to get bigger (in rainbows case, the other ponies would not want her to get bigger, as she crashes through their ceilings and walls already at normal size), and since the rooms dont automatically expand (like in your and primortals fic “my little anon”) the ponies would be angry, if anon makes them grow, and accidentally destroy their own houses (anon would have to accumulate magic first, and he´d have to survive “regular sized” amazonian ponies before dealing with “super sized” amazonian ponies). Also being bigger would inconvenience most of them, like AJ would have trouble farming, if she accidentally uproots her appletrees.

Better question would be if they can understand you even with magic. If they can just tell Celestia that you come in peace and want a good time with her.


Yeah. A language barrier story it could be fun.

I heard that T-posing can be used to intimidate

Simple, use prison rules. Find the biggest pony then beat them up.

Butt also accepts the butt.

Get smothered by big booty jail.

How to survive Equestria, in two simple steps.
Step 1: Spawn in Equestria.
Step 2: Leave.

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