Bonding · 7:33pm Nov 24th, 2021
It's time for me to rant. About what, you might ask? A good question... I don't quite know myself yet. I just wish tot alk, to... have my voice heard, leave it in the aether for anyone to see, to hear, to... experience? Is that the right word? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not sure myself if it is, if I am to be honest.
I'm not a social girl. Since I can remember, I've been the one reading in the corner, shying away from friends and family alike, preferring my own corners, where I can get lost in my own worlds I would think up, or ones someone else already did create for me. I would wage wars of my own, battles over my bed, hum revolutionary songs under my breath... experience all the commotion of a living world within the cintraints of nothing more than just my own, limited mind. Was it realistic? Was it enough? I don't know, I can't know. But I did it, tried to do it, nevertheless.
And yet, I have a deep need for friendship. But not for pals or collegues, but for true, honest to heart friendship with people I admire, people I know I can turn to, people I know will hug me, offer their support. These aren't any "big figures", so to say, no, just a small family of my own. They are all known to me via the internet, their real names or faces obscured perhaps forever, but it doesn't bother me. For me, I know them, as I know the most important -- the person they are, character, personality. But more importantly, they know mine.
I carry a very... rare surname. There exist only around 250 people with it worldwide, including me. There is a point in relationship when I reveal it, it is a sign of you being basically selected to the thinnest, smallest group of most trusted and dear familial people I have.
To my knowledge, is only one person on Earth with my name and surname. Unlikely? I've just been born this way. To those who don't know, I'm a trans woman. I was, regrettably, born as a male and I still don't look fully feminine, but each of my names - as I now have two, for each gender for practical reasons conneced to being trans - shares this characteristic.
There is only one person with such a name and surname on the planet. To my knowledge, at least.
When you are given it, it means I trust you completely and I consider you my family. Whether you think so back depends on you and you alone and that's normal and more han understandable, furthermore, it's how it should likely be. For sure, even! But that's another topic.
For me, even though incredibly introverted, I need a few people to build my world around. Three. I have three, currently.
The symbol of love.
The symbol of family.
The symbol of friendship.
They are the pullars my world is built upon, around. I won't name those people, naturally, but they exist and are the most trustful for me in the world.
It changed. I once used to have one person I built my life around, it didn't last easily... but that's another story. Hurtful, but mostly, simply just long. It's a whole different story altogether.
I think I just want to say that I love you all. Whether you know who you are or not, I really do and I would take a bullet for each of you. Not each of you will even see it, in fact, I think only one will. But this is my way of saying "thank you", together with a little bit about myself in the process.
Thank you.
Trust is like friendship worth more than all the money, fame, and fortune...It is hard to get and easy lost. That is why it is one of the most precious things we humans can ever have.
5611112
Very true
I was a social wallflower myself a long time ago for almost all of my school years, if you want, I could tell you the story behind it
5611486
I'm always glad to have a talk.
5611498 If it okay if we talk via PM?
5611555
It is.