• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2021
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

Uncle Iroh


Welcome to my profile, please, have a seat and enjoy some calming Jasmine tea.

More Blog Posts4

  • 25 weeks
    Displaced Tournament Post #1.

    This year's Displaced Tournament is going well! Every single fight, every single chapter has been a banger after a banger. I ask of you all, what is your favorite fight to read or even re-read? For me, I can't help but re-read Fujitora vs Zirconis time to time, what a fight that was!

    0 comments · 107 views
  • 138 weeks
    Everything WRONG With The Shadow of Equestria [Part 2.]

    Everything. Wrong. With. The Shadow of Equestria.


    Read More

    1 comments · 299 views
  • 152 weeks
    Announcement!

    I have decided to hold off on my two stories and decide to do a new one because I have been out of the game for so long. So uh, I hope you guys understand.

    5 comments · 195 views
  • 169 weeks
    Everything WRONG With The Shadow of Equestria [Part 1.]

    Everything. Wrong. With. The Shadow of Equestria.


    Read More

    1 comments · 390 views
Nov
21st
2021

Everything WRONG With The Shadow of Equestria [Part 2.] · 9:35am Nov 21st, 2021

Everything. Wrong. With. The Shadow of Equestria.


A few days after the attack on Canterlot, I found myself searching the royal library for information. Up until now I've been using the Shade lie - saying I was born of Umbra's magic - and for some reason, Celestia kept looking at me like she wanted to run a blade through my heart.

Gee, I wonder why? You threatened them, you almost bedded with her sister, and walk around like you own the place, stealing from people's trays. Yeah, I'm still on that fucking ROYAL GUARD! IT WAS HIS FUCKING A-

Sin Counter: 4

"Still trying to break out?" I asked, crossing my arms. “I expected more gratitude, considering I let you live.”

"You say that every time you let me out to eat," Lightning Dust snarled sarcastically. "Where's my food?"

I pulled a pineapple from my coat. Her mouth watered like a dog eager for its treat, but I kept it far out of her reach.

I- Bro, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for you to NOT feed a prisoner. And, as I said before, you walk around like you own the place. This isn't your Kingdom pal!

Sin Counter: 6

"Where did you get it?" I asked.

“Get what?” she demanded, her eyes still tracing the fruit.

"The Devil Fruit that gave you your power,” I clarified, setting the fruit on the ground, and placing myself between her and the treat. “Tell me and you're free to go.”

Lightning Dust gave the fruit a desperate look, before sighing.

"A few months ago,” she explained. “I came across some guy wearing a black cloak with severed chains on his wrists. He gave me the fruit and told me to master its power. Only then could I get what I want."

"That all?" I asked, a hand reaching into my coat

"Yeah,” Lightning Dust insisted. “Now am I free to go?” She gazed at the pineapple. “Am I at least free to eat?”

"Yes, you're free to leave," I replied. Her smile didn’t last long when I pulled out my gun and rested it on her head.

“W-Wait, but…” Lightning started to stammer.

"In spirit, that is,” I clarified, before pulling the trigger.

The impact threw the pony against the wall, leaving the contents of her head painted across the wall like a depiction of a sunset in Tartarus.

I- You- WHAT THE FUCK?!

You can't just kill a prisoner like that, that is quite literally against the law. And in Ponyland where Friendship is Magic, I'm pretty sure that you doing that is going to put you six feet under.

Also, where are the damn guards? That's a Devil Fruit user, shouldn't there be people guarding her?

Sin Counter: 10

"Von Shadow,” she said, her voice like an icy dagger.

"Princess," I replied with a coy bow. Her eyes narrowed, before darting down to the devil fruit in my hand.

"Is that…?” she started to ask.

"The Chop-Chop Fruit,” I said before she could finish. “The Devil Fruit that Lightning Dust used."

She stretched out her hand to take it, but I pulled it back.

"Hand it over," she ordered. "The power of that fruit can help my navel guard and stop these pirates before more of my citizens die by their hands."

"With all due respect… no," I said, the fruit vanishing into the shadows that made up my body. "The powers of a Devil Fruit are not something you can just hand out to anyone. Power changes people, and not in a good way."

Okay, think for a second here Eric. You are face to face with the Princess of Equestria, someone who can raise the Sun itself, she is unaware of the Devil Fruits. Notices it gives people power, wants to give it to someone in her navy, possibly to save islands.

And- Wait, did you just- YOU LITERALLY HAVE THE MOST BROKEN DEVIL FRUIT IN MAN FUCKING KIND! And you say Power Corrupts people, I mean, you're corrupted but still! The Chop-Chop Fruit is one of the most basic Devil Fruits out there, it can give the user to think about abilities and such.

Yet you have the power to, store things in your body. (Not what any other Logia can do) travel through shadow, (again, not what any normal logia can do), HAS HIS OWN FUCKING DIMENSION IN HIS BODY! NO ONE IN ONE PIECE HAS THAT POWER! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Sin Counter: 22

At first, nothing popped out to me. But then I saw them. Sitting inside a shop window. There was no mistaking the three Devil Fruits.

The Flame-Flame, the Heat-Heat, and the Wax-Wax. All sitting innocently together, like they naturally belonged there. Snapping out of my funk, I rushed inside and bought all three of them. I could have easily stolen them but I really didn't need Celestia to distrust me any more than she already did.

Okay, dude, no one thought that these fruits looked weird? I mean they've probably looked at that devil fruit and said, "That's totally a fucking apple."

Wait, speaking of which, how do these people not know what Devil Fruits are? Celestia is centuries years old, and this is the capital of the Equestrian Empire, how do they not know what a Devil Fruit is?

Sin Counter: 28

Leaving the store, I quickly started placing the fruits into my shadow. The Wax-Wax was the first to go, it's white skin shining before being swallowed up by the darkness. Next was the Heat-Heat. But just as I threw the Flame-Flame in… a rainbow blur shot between me and my shadows. The Flame-Flame was gone, and I had a very bad feeling that it wasn’t in my shadow’s pocket dimension. I whirled around, seeing the rainbow blur heading right for Canterlot Castle.

How. In. The. FUCK?! You have Observation Haki, heightened senses, how could you not see a walking Skittles bag swoop in at high speeds and not pin her down with your shadow powers? And if I recall, Observation Haki can predict movements, and you have a sixth sense!

Sin Counter: 31

"Give me the Fruit!" I snarled, claws forming over my arms and digging into her sides. Despite blood poking up from where my claws dug into her, Rainbow Dash held the fruit tight and glowered at me in defiance.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the royal guard surrounding me. From the sky, Princess Celestia smashed into the ground, her war-hammer appearing in her hands with a flash of light.

"Cease your assault, Shade!" Celestia demanded.

"Only once I get the Devil Fruit!" I insisted, my shadows binding Rainbow’s wings and legs before creeping up for her arms, both of which clung to the Flame-Flame Fruit like it was her own child.

How many times are you going to disrespect the Princess of the nation you are currently in?

Sin Counter: 34

"Rainbow Dash, “I began, backing off as the heat grew too much for my shadows. “I want you to stay perfectly calm…”

The quote's messed up, chief.

Sin Counter: 35

“Y-Yeah?” she muttered. “Whatever?” She gave one final cough, before looking up at the water in confusion. “W-Why couldn’t I swim? What happened?”

"That’s the curse of all Devil Fruits," I explained. Glancing around, I saw the Mane Six, both Princesses… even Sombra come into view. I raised my voice so I wouldn’t have to explain twice. "Anyone who eats a Devil Fruit, will sink like a rock in water.”

Celestia grimaced, while the rest gasped in shock. Turning away from Rainbow Dash, I glared into Celestia’s equally angry eyes.

“Another reason why I didn’t give you the Chop-Chop Fruit,” I snarled. “Because someone will get hurt if you can’t control it.” I got in her face, karmic satisfaction flooding me as her grimace faded into worry and a bit of fear. “Next time you try to take a Devil Fruit from me,” I growled. “Make sure I don’t see them.”

So why don't you teach them, how to use Devil Fruits? You don't even use the Devil Fruits, you just horde them inside your body!

Sin Counter: 38

“Oh! Um…” Fluttershy squeaked, rocking on her chair. “Just… um… is there a… Devil Fruit that…” She lowered her head. “Let’s someone hear and talk to animals?”

"The Whisper-Whisper fruit," I replied.

"So,” her head dipped lower, almost concealing her face in her mane. “Does that mean I'm… cursed?"

"No" I said, crossing over and brushing her hair out of her face with a grin. "If anyone's cursed, it’s me," I said.

Edgy bastard.

Sin Counter: 40

I sighed in frustration, pulling Rainbow Dash out of the pond for the fourteenth time today.

“I’ve trained thousands of soldiers,” I grumbled, clutching my head. “And yet, you have got to be the single most difficult recruit I’ve ever had!”

I highly doubt that.

Sin Counter: 41

I couldn’t help but smile, resting my chin in the palm of my hand. Despite the frustration, Rainbow Dash never asked to rest or give up. She kept right on trying to figure out the flames that were now a part of her. I had always admired that determination. That drive.

And, of course, the Shade helping her…

My eyes grow wide as I feel my cheeks heat up. Shaking my head, I smooth my hands over my face; trying to clear the blush on my face.

You are a Princess of the Night, and all because he complimented the moon you raise makes you wet for him? Good plot. Very good plot.

Sin Counter: 42

"You know I really do miss us spending time together,” I said as I leaned on the balcony again. “We tend to have very few moments like this."

Yet, as I gazed back down at Eric and Rainbow Dash, I noticed someone else had joined them.

It was... Celestia?!

I turned… only for pain to explode in my stomach. A knife had been buried in my gut, it’s gray blade slowly turning red. The imposter before me smiled insanely before touching her face with her left hand.

Instantly, my ‘sister’ vanished, and in her place, was a Thestral with red eyes and a crimson mane. His smile turned into a malicious sneer.

"This is for my brother," The Thestral growled, twisting the knife.

I could have screamed, but he tried to put his hand over his mouth. So, I went for action instead. Crashing my fist into his face, I kicked him away and leaped over the balcony. Spreading my wings, I started to put some distance between us.

You know, you do have a horn, you could have just, slammed him against the wall via levitation. Capture him, or even escape via teleportation but nah, let me fly away.

Sin Counter: 43

"LUNA!!" Celestia screamed, almost throwing me aside as she took to her sister’s side. "What have you done?" Celestia shrieked at me, tears of rage forming in her eyes.

"I didn't do anything!" I snarled, my eyes whirling back to where she had fallen. Briefly, I caught sight of a red-haired pony racing away from the balcony. For a second, his hair shifted to something long and purple. Then he was gone.

It's easy to suspect you're up to something, disrespect towards the Princesses, assault (Rainbow Dash), murder (Lightning Dust), and the fact to can go anywhere you want.

Sin Counter: 45

I growled, my powers forming a pair of wings on my back as I turned to Rainbow Dash.

Explain to me how did Eric conjure wings to fly, last time I checked he doesn't have a Zoan Devil Fruit. And if he can teleport with his shadow powers, why didn't he do it there? Wouldn't it be faster? Sin for the wings and sin for the teleportation BS

Sin Counter: 47

Celestia looked up at me. Tears were trailing down her face, but any fires of rage or hatred were gone. The sadness and fear for her sister’s life had left her eyes cracked like a broken mirror. Only able to look at me with hope that I’d have an answer. A way to save her sister’s life.

"She's losing so much blood,” Celestia whispered. “And we can't stop the bleed because of her spine!”

“You don’t need to trust me,” I said, kneeling and placing a hand on her shoulder. “But please… let me help.”

Celestia gripped my hand. Luna’s blood stained both our hands.

“Please,” she all but begged. “I can’t lose her again.”

Giving a nod, I took my place next to Luna. Next to Celestia.

"I won't lie,” I began, a shadow tendril forming around my chest. “This is going to hurt her… but it will also stop the bleeding, and keep her spine from getting any worse.”

Celestia nodded grimly. “Then do it,” she ordered, holding her sister down.

I sent the tendril into Luna's wound. Instantly, she screamed, but with Celestia on her and her spine broken, she could do very little as I covered her spine in a shadow brace.

This would have been good. Notice how I said would, the execution is downright horrible. And apparently, Eric is a surgeon and can now make shadows, an element that doesn't have a solid form, into something solid.

Sin Counter: 49

Celestia looked up at me. “Shade… I mean, Eric,” she said quietly. “Even if you are right, that doesn’t mean I can condone killing.” She looked back at her sister. “Not more of this.”

I followed her gaze, my eyes closing in pity. “Celestia,” I said. “Unless you have any Sea Prism stones to counteract the Devil Fruit users… we don’t have a choice.”

She looked up. "Sea Prism Stone?"

How does she not know what Sea Prism Stone is?

Sin Counter: 50

A cloaked figure waited by the station, watching as the red-haired thestral approached.

"So, little brother" the cloaked figure greeted, his voice oozing venom "Is Luna dead?”

"Yup,” the thestral replied with pride. “Stabbed her in the stomach and dropped her over her own balcony. Celestia tried to help her.” He grinned. “She failed."

“And you’re sure she died?”

The thestral’s grin faded. “Well… I couldn’t find out for sure.”

The cloaked figure stiffened. "Why?'

"Because there was a being looking at me,” he said. “Made of shadow looking right at me. I had to…”

"You were spotted?" the cloaked figure demanded, his hood shifting.

"Only for a second" his minion tried to say.

But the cloaked figure was beyond enraged. His fist crashed into the minion’s face.

Ya know you could have run, hidden for an hour, come back as someone else, and check?

Sin Counter: 51

“Then…” the thestral asked. “What are we going to do now… brother?”

The cloaked figure paused at the use of ‘brother.’ He glared at his sibling, before sighing.

“You will find and kill the head chef,” he said. “You will impersonate him…” His eyes narrowed. “You will not get spotted again… and you are going to slip this into their dinner.”

You know, considering that someone impersonated someone else and almost killed one of the figures that lead a nation. You'd think they would be on high alert, but I guess these dicks think it's easy for them to sneak back in. How about you wait for a few weeks THEN strike? Also, focus on using capital letters when you say "the" at the beginning of a sentence.

Sadly, I wasn’t able to tell Celestia my revelation just yet. With a princess' life threatened, the castle went on high alert, trying to find any possible changelings or other infiltrators.

AHA! I knew this story wasn't going to be stupid!

Sin Counter: 50

Luna said nothing. All the way down the dining hall. Her expression was thoughtful, and a little paranoid. I couldn’t blame her, even though she was surrounded by friends and allies: the Mane Six. Sombra. Celestia. And myself, of course.

Don't push it, pal, you're not an ally, you're a bodyguard.

Sin Counter: 51

A scent I recognized from long ago.

“Don’t eat!” I boomed, causing everyone to jump away from the food they had been seconds away from eating. “The food’s been poisoned!

You've been trapped for one thousand years, a lot can change in a century! From the War of Independence to making engines of war. Don't you think there would be new poison? Or does Toxic Dust have a- Wait, COULDN'T HE MAKE A NEW POISON THAT ISN'T RECOGNIZABLE?! WHY DIDN'T HE DO THAT?!

Sin Counter: 54

Pinkie immediately whisked Luna away, while I raced into the kitchen. Though Rainbow Dash tried to follow, she retched and backed away at what we found.

Many of the chefs were on the ground, their throats torn cruelly open. A trail of blood led out of the kitchen and into the castle. As Rainbow Dash tried to recover, I strode through the carnage, following the trail of blood to a maid walking innocently through the hallways.

No one smelled blood? And aren't their guards in the room? WHY AREN'T THEIR GUARDS IN THE ROOM?!

Sin Counter: 56

Just before he could seize Luna by the throat, I sent out an arm of shadow, snatching the assassin away.

“No!” the assassin wailed, whirling on me. “How…?”

He can make hands from shadow?! Why didn't he do it when Ashen was running away? Surely there was some shadow nearby!

Sin Counter: 58

But my light-headedness couldn’t block out his fist. And another blow from him sent me halfway across Canterlot.

With the crash of glass, I found myself in a studio. Photos – their depictions blurry and unfocused to me – shivered and swayed from my impact, almost hiding the walls with their arts.

A face swam into my view. Photo Finish, if I remembered my MLP characters correctly. A few other ponies were with her, but she was the only one that I recognized.

“Hm,” she muttered. “He ees severely poisoned!” She turned to her attendants, ready to bark out orders… only for her orders to turn into a cry of anguish.

The side of her wall melted – taking many of the photos with them – to reveal Toxic Dust.

"Move aside, mare," he ordered. “He’s…”

He didn’t get to finish, as Photo Finish hurled a vase at the bat pony. With a grimace, Toxic blasted through the vase, then sent another glop of poison at her.

I could barely think with the poison in my system, but the instincts of a guard captain are absolute. I threw myself through the pain and the air to protect her with my own body. As we both hit the ground, I called to the shadows that had aided me for so long, begging them to just get him away.

Couldn't you have made a shadow wall instead of throwing yourself into attacks?

Sin Counter: 60

Shadow Dragon

The shadows obeyed; a dragon of the darkness flew from me, biting down on Toxic and carrying him away from the ponies.

How did you make shadow dragons?

Sin Counter 61

“Do not vorry about me, dark savior,” she declared, lifting her hand. “Vorry about yerself!”

"Photo we need to leave," an attendant insisted, but she shrugged him off.

"If he returns keep yer distance,” she ordered. “And hold him for as long as possible!"

The attendant nodded, and… my eyes widened as his hands formed into giant scissors. Looking to Photo, I saw her fingers become pointed, like needles.

The Horm-Horm and the Snip-Snip, I thought deliriously, but this was no time to worry about the other fruits. I had to worry about myself, and the Devil Fruit user that was actually trying to kill me.

There are SEVERAL Devil Fruit users in Canterlot and still, Celestia doesn't know about Devil Fruits? Oh. My. God. I'm adding five sins.

Sin Counter: 66

I tried to back up, but he was faster, and his poison blast too the shape of a hydra. But just as the thing moved to swallow me whole… it blasted away in a burst of crimson flames.

Looking to the sky, I smiled beneath my mask. Rainbow Dash was right above us, with flames licking around her body. Yet no panicked expression adorned her face this time. She was completely in control!

"Glad you can join us RD," I said, the shadows exchanging my weapon for a scythe. "What did you do to gain control?"

Rainbow landed behind the thestral, grinning at me.

"I saw you being thrown across Canterlot,” she said. “I won’t stand by and not do anything to help.” Her gaze grew soft. “I never leave a friend hanging.”

Friendship? That's how? Rainbow Dash hasn't trained for three days and she can now make Kamehamehas?

Sin Counter: 69
Nice.

"One or two…" I growled, clapping my hands together before moving my left hand up and my right hand. My motions produced a bow of shadows, which I quickly stringed and formed an arrow between my fingers.

As I aimed, I noticed Rainbow Dash watching me with confusion.

"This is a little something I call Shadow Rain," I explained, before I released the arrow.

Halfway down, the arrow split into a hundred arrows. Yet when they hit the venom demon, they didn’t seem to do much but annoy it.

HOWWW??? How did it split into different pieces? Don't you argue Crocodile did it, that Desert La Sparda was still on his arm, and Eric's out here making fireworks like it's fourth of July! Move aside Katy Parry and JonTron, we have a new star!

Sin Counter: 71

"One now,” I admitted. “But I'll need you to create a wind strong enough to blow away the poison! Can you do that?"

"Can I?" Rainbow Dash laughed, before vanishing from my side.

Yet, as I turned to the Venom Demon, I saw a rainbow and fire enshrouded blur racing for the Venom Demon. Just before she hit it… a sonic boom tinged with a rainbow burst out in a shockwave. She didn’t just blow the poison away… she blasted it miles away from the city. Toxic was left stumbling and clutching his bleeding ears, only able to moan when the pain combined with the beating I had already given him.

Right, I remembered from the show. The Sonic Rain-Boom.

Before the demon could recover from her sonic rain-boom, I took advantage, forming my scythe and embedding the blade in the disoriented thestral’s body.

"Game Over" I growled, as the shadows entered his body. “Shadow Execution.”

He got one moment to grimace in defiant agony at me, before spikes erupted from every inch of his body. Blood leaked down the spikes as he gave a few final twitches… and went still.

Doesn't she need time to do that? And besides, the collateral damage, and also, there is no shadows in a body. It's all dark!

Sin Counter: 72

Dropping him to the ground, I searched around for the fruits. Soon enough, they appeared – a white swirled clone-clone fruit, and an apple rapidly turning red with the swirls of the venom-venom fruit.

Seizing them up and placing them in my shadows, I dared to finally relax and turn back for the castle.

But then, I noticed a familiar weakness still prevalent in my body. The oily chill of the venom-venom. Looking down, I saw my pants were ripped. A single drop of Toxic’s red poison glistened like blood on my skin.

My eyes widened. “Oh, no.”

Why are you surprised? You didn't dodge most of the attacks, and also, why weren't there guards going down there to fight and give Eric and Rainbow Dash support?

Sin Counter: 74


The Shadow Of Equestria.

Sin Counter: 74

Eric: Hey guys, look, I can turn into a fucking Dinosaur!


Eric when he keeps on running into poison and doesn't know why he's going to die in .69 milliseconds.


Rainbow Dash - *Becomes the Human Torch*

Toxic Dust - How did you do that?!

Rainbow Dash - Fuck you, that's how.


Eric -

Comments ( 1 )

Damn, didn't expect a roast-post.

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