My mind is my prison, and I am my warden · 8:19pm Nov 18th, 2021

Do you know what the scariest thing for me is?

Many would say spiders, clowns, sharks, deep water, the dark, thunder, so many others.
I'm not that scared of anything, some minor phobias here and there that is normal for almost half the people on earth.
I'm scared of driving, but maybe I can over corm that. I'm afraid of deep water. I still love swimming. I'm afraid of the dark, but mostly only because my own fantasy makes me paranoid, nothing major though I can overcome that too most that is only in big rooms. I have never really been scared of thunder. I haven't had a nightmare in 10 to 11 years. I am not scared of dying, only if it is painful.

But you know the thing that scares me the most is that is "losing my mind" the thought that I may not have a grab on reality scares me the most, that I will lose my mind doing things that go against my own morals, something that I would never do or things that now became too easy. My mind is already fragile.

Have you ever been in a state where you are blank and not the type of blank that you just can't get any ideas, good or bad, no the frustrating one that makes so that thinking gives you a headache as you need to use so much power and energy just to think, or fantasies that even daydreaming just becomes staring into nothing with no thought behind the eyes. I hate this. I hate losing my mind, my fantasy, my imagination, which makes me stressed makes me frustrated that I can't get into my happy place, my own safe zone.

What is more sad, losing one's mind or being a prison to it?

I'm sorry for this sad post, but I needed to get it out of my system. I don't need cheering really, even though I am sad, I just wish I could cry that I can fantasies.

I do hope you are having a great day. I wish you all the best of luck in life, in the stories you write even without pen and paper/keyboard.