Bounty Board Cancellation · 7:43am Oct 29th, 2021
So, I've spent the last 15 minutes sitting here trying to think of a way to word this in a proper and business-appropriate fashion, and it's just not coming to me. So instead of that, I'm going to blurt it out: I've lost my ability to write as a paid obligation and, as such, am going to stop doing it. Whenever I've ended up taking on a bounty and having that obligation hanging over my head, it has filled me to the brim with anxiety and stress, and completely saps basically any creative juices or motivation I have, and just leaves me feeling upset and drained.
The bounty system was great when it first started as it was a fantastic cash injection whenever I needed it, but whatever's happened to me over the last few months to kill my creative drive has finally seeped into the paid work, and it's made even worse with the anxiety brought on by being paid for it. I feel like the work's never good enough, I'm constantly second-guessing myself on it's quality, and that just snowballs all throughout the day and makes it impossible to work on anything.
So, because of that, I'm refunding bounties and cancelling the entire process from here on out. I can't live up to the expectations of paid work, so I'm not going to be doing it anymore. The refunds, unfortunately, will take two or three days to come through, and that's because I bought something, then cancelled it when I realized I couldn't complete the work, but the money was taken out of my account and will need 2-3 business days to return because of course it will.
So, again, I'm sorry for being such a disappointment, I'm sorry for yet again not meeting standards, and I'm sorry for my non-existent output these past few months. I'm just not feeling it anymore and don't know if I ever will be again. Thank you for your patience and understanding, and I am extremely sorry for letting you all down for what feels like the tenth time this year.
Don't blame yourself too much brother. Your fics are very good so much that you are one of my favorite writers and I understand that feeling that something feels obliged to do it and more when it is paid. It limits a lot of things like creativity and stress and pressure builds up, leaving you locked in. If you think it was a good decision to close the commissions I respect it and more if it was damaging your health in any way.
Perhaps you should start up a Ko-Fi page or something, where people can donate to you, that way it's not a commission, merely a thanks for your work.
Then you can write at the pace that suits you, with the topics that interest you, without any stress from obligation or duty, while still getting some extra financial support.
>This.
Your smut is legendary, but we do want you happy and de-stressed, and it's not like we're banging down your door for a deadline to be met.
Take an extra week off of writing. Spend a day doing nothing with a big ole cup of coffee.
We support you, and in turn you entertain us.
You're worth it.
5601312
That seems like a good idea, actually. I'll set one up now. Thanks for the suggestion.
Friend, remove that sad face, your work does meet those standards that you think you do not meet and is of extremely good quality.
so cheer up because you don't take a moment to reflect and relax I think that can help you
And don't worry, if those who read your stories really appreciate you they will understand what you're going through.
5601315
Glad that my suggestion may be of help. It would be a shame for such a quality writer of smut to burn out and disappear, potentially forever from any form of writing. Take time for you, we will support you in what little ways we can.
Myself and others wouldn’t have paid bounties if A) we didn’t like your results, and B) if we had known how you were feeling about it lately.
Hey its ok bud, writing is freakin hard, you're a warrior for doing it for so long! No matter what happens we got your back, and you'll always have us here if you need us! Good luck getting that money bud. 🤗
I don't think your a disappointment. Still a fan of your writing, and sometimes times are tough, is what it is. But you got supporters, monetary or otherwise.