How MLP helped me figure out my gender at a young age.

Growing up I wasn’t really comfortable with being presented as male. It made me feel really uncomfortable and jealous seeing girls wear skirts and do feminine things meanwhile I was forced to like things that were considered masculine even though I’d rather be into more feminine things like playing with girls toys and wanting to dress a girl. Unfortunately, thought my parents were very closed off when it came to expressing my gender back then. Both of them wouldn’t allow me to have anything girly, well… except for one thing that being a series about pastel couloured horses called My Little Pony. I first got into My Little Pony around late-2013 thanks to the Scholastic Book Fair. Sometimes our teacher would take us there during break or whenever the class was good this day was no exception. Right as everyone was about to head back to class and in line to pay something caught my eye it was one of the MLP IDW comics that came with a Pinkie Pie figure. She was the only character at the time thanks to one of my classmates also being hyper fixated on the show anyways, something about the book just pulled me in though honestly it was the Pinkie Pie figure I was debating if I should get it thought a part of me was hesitant due to people seeing it as “A girls show” but as you can probably guess I ended up buying the book and fell in love with the series.

Something about it just fascinated me. Now looking back it was most likely the characters and how I related to them mostly Pinkie Pie because she was very hyperactive and energetic which was me back then. After School that day Immediately went on Netflix and found the show annnd that would kick my love for MLP to overdrive. Everything about the show I loved the characters, the universe, the story and of course the music you name it I just loved it. Every morning I’d wake up extremely early in the morning when everyone was still asleep and watching a few episode before school (god how I miss those days) and when I discovered the online community for the show OHHHHHHH I went fucking nuts. Watching tons of fan episodes like Button Mash Adventures (Before Hasbro took it down) along with listening to fan songs like the Don’t Mine at Night, ahh those were the days. With this new found love it lead to me starting to question my gender since it wasn’t normal for none girls to be liking My Little Pony which made me wonder if I was actually a girl this whole time. Of course later on I would soon find out my true gender but in 2013 this was whole new teatory to me especially due to Transgender people not being really talked about nor LGBT community not being nearly very accepted by the public 8 Years ago.

Unfortunately, this love for the series would soon come to an end shortly after it began. You see I was very open about liking the show and because of that, I was a prime target for bullying. I was frequently bullied for being into MLP being called a “brony” which made me feel extremely uncomfortable and eventually it got to a point where I didn’t see the show as something I loved that brought me joy and instead only an awful cringeworthy series for freaks. Heck, I remember when the movie was announced back in 2017 and being disgusted that it was a thing saying how “I’ll never see it”. This was the mindset I had for the longest time until… October 2020.

Now I wanna point out something before we continue but around 2017 I’d found out that I was transgender and I slowly started building the courage to start coming out which by the time High School rolled around I was very open about being trans. Which led to me meeting so many amazing people along with the people who’d not only helped me to start my transition but the ones who I could call my best friends. I’m of course referring to Ian along with Nix.

Anyways back on track, so one early October morning Me and Ian we’re hanging out at his place when one of our friends Nix came over to vibe with us and out of the blue they were like “Let’s put on My Little Pony” with Ian and I being all like “Okay” though not gonna lie, I wasn’t really that comfortable since it gave me this anxious feeling that all my past peers were watching me except something funny happened. As we watched more and more episodes that anxiety slowly went away almost like my brain was like “Hey, fuck what people see as cringe. Like what you like” and not gonna lie I kinda started to fall in love with the show. You might think this is where it all kicks off but I had to but actually, we gotta fast forward to April 2021.

One day Ian and I had a conversation about surgeries for Transgender people when he happened to mention a YouTuber by the name of Ms.Brezzy a former Minecraft YouTuber me and him use to watch back in the day who’d happen to get vocal surgery which piqued my interest in her channel again. At the time she'd just uploaded a video talking about her OC which was a My Little Pony version of herself and that started my interest in the series again. I started watching some fan-made content like fanfic bloopers and funny enough I kept getting MLP in my Netflix recommendations almost like it was taunting me. Anyways after a bit of encouragement from my friend I started watching the show again, which kinda opened up my eyes since it wasn’t the totally cringe-fest I was expecting but instead a wholesome show about friendship that gave me the feeling of gender euphoria that 9-year-old me experienced all those years ago. This is where my newfound love for it really started to kick off again with me coming home after a rough day of school to unwind with a couple of episodes of My Little Pony every day. As more and more time passed I found myself hungry for more content which would lead to me reading Fanfictions, rediscovering the songs I’d used to listen to back in 4th Grade, oh and collecting figures along with other merch related to the series and finally making my own OC who’d later become my mascot for my YouTube Channel.

       Honestly, if Ian hadn't gotten me into My Little Pony around that time I don't think I'd still be alive since 2021 hasn't been a very good year for me mentally. With me being the lowest I haven’t been in since 2016 and I was debating on ending my life and did attempt to end my life in August 2021 thankfully he called an ambulance which I'm extremely thankful for but it's thanks to him getting me back into MLP that it reminded me why to keep going; because of the people in my life that love me for who I am along with him teaching me “even if those bullies made fun of you for liking MLP, doesn’t mean you can still like it” which was very important. We'd just finished watching the movie together not too long ago and when the credits rolled, I broke down in tears mostly because I didn't want to say goodbye to Gen 4 due to how much it meant to me along with I was planning on ending my life after I finished the series and he responded with this "The Fandom isn't going anywhere". This made me realise that even with the FIM gone the fans ain't going anywhere anytime soon plus who knows we could see the mane 6 return as the main cast in G5 or G6. This made me cry even harder with me being extremely thankful for not only being my best friend but for bringing so much joy and laughter into my life and honestly, If it wasn't for FiM I may have never figured out my gender which lead me to meeting other LGBT people along with me taking steps to my transition. Others might look at me and think I’m an ugly freak for liking a series about Ponies but I don’t really care, because at the end of the day. My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is more than just a TV Show, it's the reason why I’m still alive.  Thank You Ian, for reintroducing me to My Little Pony. I love you dude.