Paul's Thursday Reviews CCLXVIII · 8:02pm Oct 7th, 2021
No reviews next week, folks. Break time!
So I finally saw the G5 movie. I’ve been cautiously optimistic about it for a while now, as everything I’d seen for the past year didn’t look bad. Amusingly, I got an unsolicited text from my aunt about five minutes before I started watching that pointed to a news article about how MLP had “gone woke” with G5. I laughed it off and told her the article was nonsense. And after watching the movie… Yeah, the article was nonsense.
Anyway, it ended up far better than I anticipated. The songs were catchy, the animation style didn’t make my eyes bleed, and many of the jokes landed well. I don’t like what they did with Sunny at the end (too convenient), but overall it was a fun experience. A few things of non-spoilery note:
- Sharp-toothed Rarity has become a meme, but for good reason. I find it both amusing and fitting that they chose her for that little role.
- It took all of five seconds to realize that Izzy is descended from Pinkie Pie. I have no objections to this.
- As fun as Izzy is, my favorite character was Hitch. He blended a lot of things I like about a lot of characters I love. There’s no doubt he’s got some Applejack in him, and the animals are a clear Fluttershy sign. I think there may also be a hint of either Rarity or Trixie in there, and I love that.
- Zipp is awesome, and feels no need to remind you of that fact. I think I’m really going to like her once the series kicks in.
- Out of all the characters, Pipp felt by far the least developed. It will be interesting to see how she evolves in the series, because right now it feels like she’s just… there.
- It’s curious that this time we’re limited to only five main characters. Meta reference to this being Season 5, perhaps? The Gen5 Five? Also that there’s only one unicorn representative, although I suppose with three races and five characters one of them had to be the odd one out. It’s appropriate that it would be Izzy, who is the least likely to care about that sort of thing.
- The villain had a surprisingly good singing voice. Granted, the singing voice actor was different from the regular voice actor, but it still worked well for me.
- The Queen of the pegasi has to be descended from Diamond Tiara. She’s just gotta be. And by extension...
- I hear rumor there was a Derpy cameo. First: Where, because if true then I totally missed it. Second: Does this mean Derpy’s immortal? Third: Oh, the fanfiction!
- I have so many questions about the history of the world between G4 and G5. I seriously doubt the upcoming series will explore them at all. Which is extremely disappointing.
At any rate, I enjoyed the movie and am now looking forward to seeing these characters again.
Now how about them reviews?
Stories for This Week:
Equestrian Concepts by Achaian
Truth by Rated Ponystar
Feeling Pinkie Keen - Extended Cut by AdmiralSakai
The Teeny, Tiny Pinkie Pie by RK_Striker_JK_5
Total Word Count: 174,361
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 0
Pretty Good: 1
Worth It: 2
Needs Work: 1
None: 0
Equestrian Concepts
105,291 Words
By Achaian
Ditzy Doo has been owed a vacation for a very long time. She may be facing depression, and so decides at last to take that vacation, heading for some beach and leaving Dinky behind with Rarity. But first, she makes a stop at Canterlot. There she’ll meet a peculiar stallion at a bar. A stallion with some truly strange eyes…
This was a dense little trip. Equestrian Concepts is one of those stories in which very little happens, and yet manages to make that ‘little’ seem like a lot. The vast majority of the action is in the characters’ heads as they go on seemingly endless back-and-forth ponderings and philosophizing over could be’s, might-have-beens, and once was’s.
In one chapter, Ditzy watches a concert. ~1,000 words are devoted just to describing the various ins and outs of said concert. Later in the same chapter another ~700 words are spent describing… a painting. What does any of this have to do with Ditzy’s ongoing situation? Nothing. Yet also a lot. The scenes are all about Ditzy’s mercurial mental state and her ability to come to seemingly great revelations that guide the next decision that does relate to her problems.
In other words, Achaian likes to go on long, convoluted tangents that are meant to peripherally guide the characters’ decisions. Is that a good thing? I suppose that depends upon the reader. But bear in mind that the narrative is dense. Have you ever had one of those moments where someone’s talking and you’re trying to politely pay attention but then realize your mind’s been on something completely different? And when you refocus you realize you’ve missed the last ten minutes of conversation. That’s the risk of Equestrian Concepts.
It doesn’t help that the overarching situation is nebulous at best. Ditzy meets a pair of twin brothers, one of whom is an introvert currently engaged in an intense and prolonged debate with Princess Luna over the dangers of past knowledge. Luna claims that he, his brother, and now Ditzy have been “infected by the Nightmare” or something and now must go on a quest to the castle in the Everfree to find lost knowledge. Why is Ditzy involved? It’s unclear save for her peripheral relation to Tick and Quirk. In what way have they been tainted by the Nightmare? Again, unclear. How is going to the castle in the Everfree looking for a lost library supposed to help them? Unclear. What they are doing is plain as day, but why they’re doing it is clear as mud.
And all of it feels secondary to the wild rollercoaster rides that are the turbulent minds of Ditzy and Tick. By the way it’s written, it would appear that the real story is not this adventure or Ditzy’s vacation but purely the endless back-and-forth rapture, fury, depression, and mania of these ponies’ thought processes. Forget wandering through magical mazes in search of lost libraries, all the action is in Ditzy shifting through emotions like a whirlwind, frequently for no apparent reason.
Ditzy’s mental situation is difficult to grasp. There are hints that she grew up in a crime-infested ghetto, that she’s somewhat standoffish, that she had a traumatic encounter with Discord, and that she’s a ticking time bomb of repressed fury. Yet the details elude us, for nothing is ever explained in a straightforward way. As much as we know about her past, we really know nothing about her past. So when Achaian tries to depict her as having negative or positive reactions with current events in relation to her past, we’re forced to take their word for it. It… wasn’t helpful.
Tick, by comparison, is a little bit easier, but still a weird character to fully understand. He seems to have a subtle agoraphobia. Ditzy, well meaning and curious, invades his personal space and manages to connect with him in a way that nopony but his brother Quirk has ever managed. This scares him, and he spends much of the story in an ever-shifting state of anxiety as he simultaneously wants to be with and wants to escape from Ditzy. A hopeless romantic might interpret this as him falling for her and not knowing how to handle such an emotion, but I doubt it’s that simple.
Then we get to the plethora of side characters, many of whom I have to question the purpose of. Pinkie Pie’s sister Inky (bear in mind this was written in 2012) makes a one-chapter cameo. Tick’s brother Quirk spends a lot of time as a side character and seems like he’ll be of some importance until he abruptly and completely disappears from the story about 2/3rds in. A pair of Lunar Guards named Eris and Aphelion have roles in the end that feel important despite the fact that they didn’t exist in this story until the last two chapters. The first two chapters focus heavily on Rainbow Dash and her apparent lack of respect for Ditzy, but then she never makes another appearance, even at the latter third of the story when Ditzy returns to Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle shows up twice, first as a cameo and then with an entire chapter where she’s interacting with Tick and Ditzy, for the latter as a close friend trying to help, but her overarching presence in the story amounts to nothing.
Then, at last, we have the ending, which is not an ending at all. I’ll grant that this is supposed to be Book I of a trilogy, but book two was never finished and Achaian hasn’t been on the site in over a year. My point being that I don’t like when authors intentionally refuse to give a story a clear conclusion on the basis of “tune in to the next one for more!” The ending is underwhelming, it resolves nothing, and worse: after all that slog through Ditzy’s and Tick’s wild emotions and weird encounters, this is our reward? A metaphorical “to be continued?”
I get it. I do. There’s this expectation that you’ll be able to do this forever, that you’ll always have the energy and time. But as so many writers have discovered, nothing is ever guaranteed in this business. Achaian fell victim to this, making a promise that answers and resolutions are incoming only for them to be unachievable. Now here I am, at the end of this dense piece of literature with no concrete ending, no lessons learned, and no satisfaction.
Learn from Achaian’s mistake, people. Give your stories endings. Even if you’re planning some big continuation.
With that, I’m going to wrap up. I left this one disappointed, but it does hold some value. One of the best parts about the story is how it so deeply engages with the inner workings and emotions of the characters. In a sense, the entire story is about that. So if that’s something you’re interested in, or perhaps you wish to observe a different writing style focused more on thought processes than action, this would be a decent place to start. But as a story, I’m afraid my rating is clear.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Truth
4,335 Words
By Rated Ponystar
Sequel to Reunited
It’s been six years since Equestria surrendered to humanity, and in all that time Celestia has been comatose. At long last, she has awoken to a world that despises her. Today is the day of her execution, but Princess Twilight Sparkle refuses to let her go without getting answers.
This is the third story in the Negotiations AU, itself a reinterpretation of the Conversion Bureau in which Celestia is depicted as a genocidal tyrant. For this story, we finally get Celestia’s reasons for wanting to exterminate humanity – to say nothing of knowingly allowing every other race on the former world of Equestria to die.
I don’t intend to spoil her reasons here, but I will note they are neither surprising nor justifying. What interests me most about them is how they repaint Celestia as someone who had good intentions that went wildly out of her control. It’s one of those “seeing it through to the bitter end” scenarios. What I most approve of is how I can actually see Celestia gradually falling into these mistakes over a long period of time, which is exactly how the situation is described.
What I most regret is how we’re only witnessing a brief window of that in what may be only a fifteen minute conversation entirely from Twilight’s perspective. The things revealed here are far too big for a mere short story. You could make a 100k-word political drama about the things Celestia speaks of, and it could have been a powerful piece. Alas, that’s not what we have or will probably ever get.
This was my favorite story of this series so far, not least because it finally moves into something resembling new territory (at least for what I’ve seen of Conversion Bureau-themed stories). I say ‘resembling’ because it’s still shadowed by an endless stream of anti-Celestia hate, although such is understandable considering the circumstances.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Assassination of Twilight Sparkle — Pretty Good
Sanguine Kindness — Worth It
Negotiations — Worth It
Aftermath of a Fallen Star — Worth It
Reunited — Worth It
Feeling Pinkie Keen - Extended Cut
61,444 Words
By AdmiralSakai and Serketry
Requested by AdmiralSakai
Sequel to Friendship Is Magic - Extended Cut
Alternative Title: AdmiralSakai Commits Horse Sacrilege
Twilight is busy studying up on the Lunar Rebellion when word reaches her regarding Luna’s attempt to be officially named as a Princess of Equestria. Luna’s efforts are being stymied by a bunch of politicians with perfectly reasonable fears of a resurgence of Nightmare Moon. After a meeting with these politicians, it is deduced that only direct evidence from the monster herself would prove that Luna and the Nightmare were two different entities. To this end, Twilight begins an expedition into Froggy Bottom Bog where, with luck, she’ll be able to find Nightmare Moon’s personal journal.
I know what you’re probably thinking at this point: “What does any of this have to do with Feeling Pinkie Keen? The answer: nothing. Nothing at all. Pinkie herself plays a minor role and demonstrates absolutely none of her Pinkie Sense abilities, as if they don’t exist. In fact, I’m reasonably sure AdmiralSakai is writing this with the express, blasphemous intention of them not existing.
Instead, we have Luna herself making strange predictions based on “signs” in the bog, which allow her to recognize dangers, identify important locations, and otherwise greatly assist Twilight’s expedition. Since AdmiralSakai couldn’t completely abandon what the episode is about, this leads to a greatly frustrated Twilight trying to find an explanation behind Luna’s seeming clairvoyance. So yes, Twilight gets snarky and even downright mean at times in an effort to disprove that Luna has abilities that defy scientific laws.
Which she eventually manages to do, but not before making a complete ass out of herself. Fortunately, she comes to recognize her own assholery before the story’s over.
The story ends up being about the nature of peopleponies in terms of discovering or fearing the unknown and, perhaps, a celebration of an adherence to scientific principles within reason. It’s a great lesson. Really, it is, and the author explores the ups and downs effectively through Twilight’s strident efforts to understand Luna’s abilities. I have no complaints there.
But this is not Feeling Pinkie Keen. If anything, it is an ardent, vociferous denial of everything the episode stands for. Would you argue that Rarity can’t be extravagantly melodramatic, or Applejack can’t like apples, or Rainbow Dash doesn’t have an ego? No. These ideas are so nonsensical that for most of us they don’t even achieve conscious thought. And yet here we have an author daring to suggest something of similar absurdity: that Pinkie Sense doesn’t exist. They even foist an entirely different and ultimately explainable premise upon Luna instead. Yes, explainable. Meaning AdmiralSakai is defying the whole point of the episode this story is purportedly based on: some things can’t be explained.
So, Admiral. How much hemlock do you take?
I make a Socrates joke because that’s how all this sounds to me. We are the “learned” fans of the day declaring “this is the way it is and to disagree is treasonous” while AdmiralSakai is over here saying “‘the way it is’ isn’t a good enough reason.”
I feel like the story is bending over backwards to try and make itself seem like it is a proper recreation of Feeling Pinkie Keen despite defying its entire point and, worse, relegating Pinkie to the sidelines so that she’s hardly there as a character. You know, in the story that features her name. I suspect the only reason it was Pinkie who woke Twilight up to how she’d been treating Luna was so that AdmiralSakai could try to justify the story’s title.
None of this is to say that the story is bad. It’s really quite good, provided you’re okay with a narrative that tends to expound upon the current subject for excessive lengths of time, often in dense ways that can be hard to parse for our common, non-PhD minds. All I’m saying is that, based on what Feeling Pinkie Keen is, the story is nothing like what you’d reasonably expect. It’s not about failing to explain the unexplainable and learning to accept that sometimes we just don’t know; rather, it’s a statement that everything is explainable, even if we haven’t figured out the explanation yet.
Still, AdmiralSakai offers plenty of references to the episode, all in the name of trying to bend a square story into a Pinkie Pie-shaped hole. We’ve still got Fluttershy wanting to migrate frogs, Twilight trying to explain the seemingly unexplainable (and getting seriously hurt over it), and a hydra attack (I kinda felt sorry for it). It just lacks Pinkie doing the inexplicable.
And there are still elements that I really enjoyed about the previous story, such as the respect given to Spike as a character, the attention paid to the effects of Luna’s return, and an effort to make a lighthearted episode into something important. Bonus points for not trying to turn a one-off visual gag into a serious event (read: Twilight in flames).
Plus there’s the interpretation of Luna, which I found I really liked. This is a Luna who is aware of her failures and still struggling to overcome them, as appropriate for the time the story is set. While she does demonstrate a temper at times, she is a very… ‘docile’ pony here, to the point that she treats Twilight Sparkle, regular unicorn academic, as though she were a superior to be obeyed in spite of reasonable objections. Even at the end, when Twilight and Luna seem to have come to an accord, Luna still acts as though it is Twilight who is calling the shots. While I greatly prefer the proud and confident Luna, I really like this characterization as it relates to the timing of the story and her history with Twilight. I assume and hope that future stories in this series will show Luna gradually coming into her own as a proper Princess of the Night, because that would be a fun elongated character arc to watch.
I should add that I also admire the way the story takes Luna’s experiences and situation and molds them in a way to fit the situation. It’s not FPK, but it’s still an inventive and effective way to emulate the story’s beats while maintaining the air of ‘realism’ that this series seems to be striving for.
I came away from this one with far more mixed feelings than the previous story, not least because I feel like the title is something of a lie and the story itself a futile attempt to make that not be true. I think different readers will react to it in different ways, those ways depending upon how much you value Pinkie’s innate, unexplainable abilities as part of her overarching character.
But as a story, I liked it overall. True, the writing is a bit dense at times, perhaps needlessly so, but if that’s the only technical aspect to bother me then I think AdmiralSakai is doing pretty good.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Friendship Is Magic - Extended Cut — WHYRTY?
The Teeny, Tiny Pinkie Pie
3,291 Words
RK_Striker_JK_5 failed to provide cover art.
When Pinkie Pie accidentally interrupts Twilight Time, she ends up as a tiny moth-pony.
This did not go where I expected it to. Specifically, I figured we’d be following Pinkie Pie on some silly adventures as she went around doing goofy things as a moth-pony like flying towards the light and getting in Applejack’s face. In truth, the story features startlingly little of Pinkie Pie, much less Mothie Pie. Most of it involves Rainbow Dash and Applejack being their usual competitive selves and Twilight explaining the situation.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad. But when you specifically title a story after a concept, people sort of expect that concept to take center stage, y’know?
Still, it’s a pleasant little time-waster. Nothing to write home about, but good for a little chuckle and perhaps a d’awww or two.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Game of Thrones, Alicorn Style — Worth It
Twilight the Terrible — Worth It
Stories for Next Week:
Ranch Hands by Ezrienel
Sing by Holy
What Fine Line by AuroraDawn
Equestria Girls: Two Sunsets by moviefan-92
High-Water Mark by bkc56
A Little Pony's Story by TheFlint44
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I thought that would be extremely exciting.
Editor's Note: Welp. I'm glad you mostly enjoyed our story. I'm sure the Admiral will state this more eloquently, but he... really did not like FPK. Like, at all. But, I'm glad you were entertained by what we'd stuck in the empty FPK packaging. As for Luna's sometimes timid demeanor, this this a full season/year prior to THY PRINCESS OF THE NIIIGHT Luna we all know and love from Luna Eclipsed. Don't worry, she still has plenty of growing to do, and that's honestly what our entire season 1 arc is about, and I invite you to keep reading our series. I have a feeling you'll enjoy the next chapter, Stare Master, even more.
Influencer culture can be a touchy subject, and I definitely got the sense that the writers were afraid of mishandling her right out of the gate. Now that they've tested the waters, I'm sure she'll get some time to shine in the show itself.
I could just be conflating old fake leaks with each other, but I vaguely recall the leak that revealed Zipp/Pipp mentioning that they experimented with the idea of rounding out the group with a kirin or changeling. Either that idea was scrapped and they never bothered to make a replacement, they're saving it for a Sixth Ranger moment in the actual show, or (as previously stated) I'm mixing up leaks and all of that is just complete BS.
If I recall correctly, a poster for a musical in Zephyr Heights has a "Directed by Muffin Hooves" credit in the corner. Either they're a descendant or there's some wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff going on.
How they handled him was easily the biggest surprise, and my favourite thing not related to the animation or the songs. There's only the barest scraps of "token male" jokes about him, they hit a neat balance of his stern, law-abiding side and his caring side, and he arguably has the strongest arc and most consistent writing in the film.
I also had doubts that James Marsden would sound too old for a character who's supposed to be the same age as youthful Sunny. Yet his voice just fits really well, really quickly, and while I couldn't call it a great voice performance, he brings enough legitimate acting chops that it's easily the second best after Izzy's. Just off the top of my head, he makes the line " I'm the last real friend you got in this town. You really want to lose me, too?", which on paper and in most performers' voice boxes would comes across as petty and mean, instead come across as stern yet earnest, caring and sympathetic.
I think that was a fan-edited image of a pony during Sprout's song (at about 1:10). There's one mare who's blue coat looks quite similar to Derpy's (she has a red flower on her mane by her ear), and during the part where he's moving down the conveyor belt and making his case, there's a close-up shot on her where, due to the green lighting, she looks almost grey.
Anyway, some fan(s) edited a screenshot from this to give said mare desynchronised eyes. I remember seeing it doing the rounds in the first few days after the movie came out.
Of course, could also be the "Filly Elliot" musical poster directed by a certain "Muffin Whooves". Imalou designed that poster, and she no doubt knew exactly what she was doing there.
Didn't he just? It took me a few more watches and listens to warm to that song, but by now, I'm actually quite fond of it. I'm normal skeptical of changing a character's actor for a song, but here I can't argue with the results. I do wonder how the songwriter ended up singing for Sprout - was his demo that good and on-point that Hasbro and the filmmakers decided to just use it? Or was Ken Jeong's demo not adequate enough? We may never know.
I mean, she doesn't do a lot - only has 45 lines of dialogue outside of the pop song, and almost all of those after they leave Zephyr Heights are nondescript and interchangeable with other characters (which is 27 or so). Sprout has more dialogue and does more, and he's offscreen for all but a few scenes of Act II (to be fair, he's the centrepiece of those scenes).
I would agree with 5592804 that they tried to be delicate around her, to the degree that this cut back on the social media influencer angle and reduced the number of jokes there. I won't complain! Plus, it's all so vague and doesn't reference any specific things, so while it carries a time-stamp, it's more to this decade, not a specific year. Ultimately, though, the story limits and pacing forced their hand a lot as regards how little she did or made an impression.
Personally, I think this could have been alleviated somewhat by combing Pipp and Queen Haven into one character (two royal sisters ruling with no queen wouldn't be unusual, it's a common Pony sight). You combine those two characters' arcs and plot points, which already overlap a lot, and they're much stronger as a result. Very little work required either! Though I mapped out exactly how this could be done, I'll leave it there. Probably not that interesting.
At least you're acknowledging it almost certainly won't happen.
I see many people, around these parts and elsewhere, convinced they'll get their answers next year. Keep dreaming, people.
Me, I think the G4->G5 connection is an irrevocable mess, and that it was included in the film, and highlighted in the marketing, primarily as Brony baiting. Thankfully (for me), it's almost fully background details in the film (a newcomer would not feel they're missing watching something else first), so I can judge this as its own thing, and imagine the FiM backstory stuff here is a separate, much simpler universe then that of the FiM we've all watched and loved.
But yes, it's almost a dead certainty the series will neither confirm nor deny anything concrete regarding the timeline since G4. Some people are glad for that, some people are very disappointed. You never can please everyone, I suppose.
Comment on the FPK EC review in progress. In the mean time... I too just recently watched the G5 movie, and find myself in the odd position of completely agreeing with your general assessment of it while disagreeing with you on about half of the individual points. I thought the pacing was slow, the dialogue repetitive and circular, the songs both annoying and soulless, and the animation extremely generic- something you'd see in any Dreamworks side project from the last decade or so. But it was indeed not woke, the characters were for the most part tolerable, and it didn't invalidate Twilight's legacy or anything like that (an argument I'd initially subscribed to as well, but later abandoned). Overall, I thought it was... passable. Not good, but aside from the pacing and animation nothing stood out to me as particularly defective either. I'm willing to give the series overall second and third chances, as I thought it took G4 a little while to really hit its stride as well.
I do, however, wholeheartedly second this:
Serketry and I started theorizing about the post-apocalyptic implications of this new setting while we were still watching the movie, talking over much of the second half of it (don't worry, it was just the two of us, we weren't bothering family members or whatever). I already have a very good idea of what G5 Extended Cut will look like, and yes there will indeed be a G5 Extended Cut- although not for a while yet, as due to my preference for long multi-story arcs I want to see what the actual show is like so I can work in any interesting plot points therefrom.
Looks like I approved that first one for EQD, given that I had four of the first five chapters marked read without having actually rated it. :V Oops.
5592812 I was pleasantly surprised to see how they handled Hitch too. The last few decades have seen so many male characters tokenized as drooling morons, and yet Hitch is competent (relatedly), handsome, and has a paid-off mortgage. I mean what's not to love about the big lug.
I think the Derpy bit may have just been a fan having fun with Photoshop. Although it would have been awesome if real.
Izzy is best poni, and tennis ball is best pet.
So, this was a review I had particularly been anticipating, because I really wanted to see what flaws you’d found in the story- I’d seen it get the “Pretty Good” rating weeks ago, and obviously anything other than the best possible score is an indication that I need to sit down and rethink my strategy. I was thus planning to fill this comment with a list of potential “fixes” and see if you thought they would address your concerns- while it’s no substitute for getting a story right at publication time, if there’s small changes I can make after-the-fact to improve a story for latecomers I do think it’s worthwhile to make them. Now that I actually see the thing, it’s a bit more nuanced than what I was expecting, and so this is… I guess more of a general discussion comment?
Anyways.
While I agree that's a fitting summary of how the story relates to the source material, I do take some small issue with the implication that it detracts from the story or that the way it’s presented is in any way… deceptive, I guess? A lot of the ‘early’ EC stories are turning out to have a very high ratio of original content to canon-episode content, and I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with that, especially when the author’s notes and other marginalia typically remark on the ratio of original to canon content. I actually remember having some of the “short” summaries for these say “loosely based on” or “inspired by” for stories that don’t follow the canon episode as closely, but looking over them they all just say “based on”? Not sure what happened there.
I wonder what you would think about a hypothetical FPK EC that was more of a straight "fix-fic" that kept the same plot events and Pinkie focus as the original episode, and still came to the same "opposite" conclusion the actual story did- disregarding, for the purposes of this thought experiment, the likely other failings endemic to fix-fics that such a story would show, like "this entire chapter is just a word-for-word transcription of the episode, so why can't I just watch the original episode instead?" and "a character has
Harbingerthe author ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL and will now directly summarize the relevant viewpoints to a captive audience both in- and out-of-universe". I also wonder what you'd make of the story if it was mostly the same, but Twilight came to the same conclusion as the original episode at the end. Was it more the plot events being different, or the themes being different, that was the issue, I guess is what I'm asking.I realize I am saying this well after the fact, but my intention behind including as much FPK as I did was less to try to maintain the connection to the original episode; than because I thought they were worth either salvaging or addressing on their own merits or deficits, respectively. I kept the hydra fight because I thought it was legitimately thrilling action; I kept Twilight getting injured because I thought the show didn't quite seem to realize just how dark that came across and I could lean into that. Similarly, Pinkie serves up Twilight's therapy less because she was a central focus in the original episode, than because I thought she was the best fit in her role as Party Bard. While I will admit that I made a conscious effort to include her in this story than I otherwise would have, that's more because I worry in general about "dropping" her as a character since I find her comparatively hard to write.
Ultimately, though, I think this is still criticism worth taking. If you saw a disconnect between what the story advertised itself as, and what it turned out to be, then that's probably still my fault as an author for communicating poorly. I won't say why because I don't want to plant any seeds, skew any perceptions or set any expectations, but I'm curious what you will think of Stare Master EC or Griffon the Brush-Off EC on this point.
Not related to improving my writing in the slightest, but I just find this a particularly funny image to use when talking about a story that bumps up against so many Enlightenment concepts. Having (I'd like to think!) gotten over my
i.imgur.com/ljJJuPn.gif
phase in middle to high school, I actually deliberately tried to make sure the story didn't fall too closely into the old trope of "the superstitious orthodoxy versus the rational heretic", and so cast Luna more as the outsider.
At least you didn't compare me to Galileo.
I know that wasn't actually what the original passage in the review was even about... but I still think it's funny.
Eeeeeeyeah, this is something I am still actively struggling to get past as a writer. I was first aware it was a problem back in FiM EC, when multiple different reviewers pointed it out to me, and have been trying to train myself to be more succinct ever since. When I was writing FPK EC, I was still thinking the problem was mostly in terms of the actual construction of sentences. If you look back at FiM EC, some of the sentences there were ungodly long to the point of being paragraphs unto themselves, with very little punctuation to separate clauses, and that made them extremely difficult to actually follow on a page. I'd like to think I did better here than there, but again, this is an ongoing process and you are entirely right to call out my tendency to run off at the mouth.
That wasn't exactly what I was going for, or rather not completely: while the above is certainly a good summary, I was also intending for there to be another side represented: "Sometimes explanations take time; theories are incomplete and can be rejected. It's totally okay for a scientist to acknowledge, or even use, phenomena that cannot currently be explained, even if they seem magical or illogical, and still be scientific about it. Again 'within reason' (such as at least verifying that the unexplained thing exists), there is nothing unscientific about 'failing to explain the unexplainable and learning to accept that sometimes we just don’t know'. Science is a work in progress; show some humility."
Again, the fact that this did not come through more strongly is wholly my fault as an author for not communicating clearly enough.
This is also a criticism I actually was anticipating, because a little while after I completed the story I started to think that the portions relating to these themes were somewhat unfocused and skewed towards one point over the other. Probably the most effective way to address this would simply be to leave Luna's abilities unexplained, but of course that would leave all of the readers with a lot of questions and very few answers...
Maybe part of the disconnect here is that I really didn't view Pinkie's abilities as a big part of her character? Or at least not her Pinkie Sense ability; IIRC it only ever appears once outside of the episode. She does other weird things than that, though, and I try to include those in EC where I think they are appropriate (although presenting those behaviors in a more serious context is admittedly one of the reasons she's so hard to write).
So, overall, this review's raised a few questions and given me a lot to think about, and I'm also glad that you liked so much of the main content of the story as you did. It is much appreciated.
Maybe I'm the weird one here, but I watched the movie without thinking hardly anything about G4 at all. They had their cameos at the beginning and as toys and things, and then I just about forgot they appeared in the first place.
All the same, other than relations and blood work, I'm of the same opinion with the G5 stuff. I like Sprout a lot as a sort of 'how not to raise a boy' kind of character, and Hitch and Zipp are definitely the favorites. (I still hate Zipp's toothpaste hair with a passion.) I went in with low expectations and came out pleasantly surprised. As opposed to other recent kid's media, this wasn't nearly as shallow or fast paced as something like Raya.
Also, bonus points for capturing that 90's alt Rock feel with Sprout's song. Critter magent/10, would watch again.
5592937
This.
I went into the movie entirely convinced Zipp was going to be a towering douchecanoe, solely because of her hairstyle. And then she turned out to actually be a pretty decent character? I'd like to see more of both her and Hitch in the future, please!
5592946
Yeah, that. Her hair has a different personality than she does.
5592948
That's actually a really good way to put it.
5592937
That wasn't just any 90's alt rock, that was the guitar riff from friggin Smells Like Teen Spirit. Not gonna lie, though, they shoulda leaned more into it, it felt kinda limp, to me.
5592954
I thought that too, until I was pointed to Self Esteem, and then I felt it was closer (And fits Sprout's character better, imho.) The prechorus in Angry mob also reminds me of another 90's song (something in the R&B genre) but no title comes to mind.
I had heard of the evil Rarity meme before watching the movie, so I got hyped. I was disappointed though to learn that in context the voice was being provided by baby Sprout. Imagine how legendary that moment would've been with Tabitha St Germain hamming up the villain talk.
Pipp and Zipp both suffered from a lack of any notable contribution to the plot after Zephyr Heights, though at least Zipp had a good amount of screentime and action before that point. Zipp might've been the biggest surprise to me (alongside Izzy mercifully not being painfully overbearing), I didn't expect to care for her much but she was actually pretty endearing. It's strange to me in hindsight how the earliest G5 leaks gave the impression that there might be a main trio with Sunny, Izzy, and Pipp, now come the actual movie it turns out that Zipp would actually be far more fitting of that position, being the pegasus who wants to buck the status quo in the same way Sunny and Izzy do, and I feel the movie might have been better if it were just those three as the main cast with Hitch and Pipp as more secondary characters.
I think the weakest thing about the movie is the switcharoo that ends up playing out with the villains. The role of big bad seems really clear right at the beginning of the movie, but then halfway through they just pass it up to someone who turns out to be way worse, both in terms of morality and just as a character (I really don't look forward to seeing that character reappear in the actual series), and get a halfhearted face turn at the end. A more capitalist/consumerist basis would've been a stronger angle to go with for the motivation behind the xenophobia of Maretime Bay, in my opinion.
There's a tree seen at some point during the movie that's apparently supposed to be the future evolution of the Tree of Harmony? So who knows what we may get in what's to come.
5592772
In a situation like this, background lore and inner connectivity are among the most interesting things for me. To know that they're almost certainly never going to give us any of that frustrates me.
Although it will be interesting to see how the fandom makes those connections.
5592804
You know, opening the first season by introducing a new character, perhaps of an entirely different species, as the sixth part of the team would make for a pretty good start.
Wouldn't be surprised if they ruined the idea by making it Sprout instead.
5592812
That line really stuck out to me, too. I was all like "whoa, that could have come out as really mean, but somehow he made it work."
I dunno. It's one thing to make some of your main characters princesses, but to make them outright leaders of an entire race right out the gate? I think not making them at the top of the totem pole was the better choice.
5592935
Lots to see here, and I have no intention of debating most of it. What I will point out is that the difference between "inspired by" or "based on" won't matter. You're calling this story Feeling Pinkie Keen - Extended Cut. By default, people will expect this to have the same themes and at least some of the same scenarios, Pinkie Pie to be the major player in the events, and Pinkie Sense will be involved. Anything else will feel like a blatant lie. The title all by itself puts you in that corner and there's no amount of finagling around with words in the description that will change that. You can't directly connect your story to one of the most iconic and beloved episodes in the series and expect any different.
The story was good. Great, even! But I try to base my ratings on how I feel people in general will like them, not just myself. When you completely defy what is to many a (if not the) highlight Pinkie Pie episode... Well. I expect at least some will start sharpening their pitchforks. Hence, my rating.
Definitely theme, although sidelining Pinkie to not be a major character in her own episode would still have been a problem.
I'm not so sure. I think it sort of became part of her overarching character in such a way that it was present but never directly addressed. Like in Mare-Do-Well when she avoids all the falling debris (although she might have mentioned Pinkie Sense later in the episode? I can't recall for sure).
I'll admit it's nebulous at best. Still, I don't see how they could make an entire episode themed around Pinkie Sense and not have it be an important part of her character. Then again, the show creators have never been all that hung up on such a silly, unimportant concept as continuity. [/sarcasm]
This actually makes her one of my favorite characters to write. Putting her silliness into a serious story without sacrificing either is a delightful writing challenge.
You say that like it's a bad thing, but the entire episode revolves around "sometimes we just don't know the answer". Provided it's handled properly, there's nothing wrong with that conclusion. If we don't need to know exactly how Pinkie Sense works, why do we have to know how Luna's predictive abilities work?
We don't.
In fact, I'd argue that explaining such things takes away from their value. Pinkie Sense wouldn't be anywhere near as interesting a concept if we actually understood how it worked. A magic show doesn't entertain as much when the audience knows the trick behind it. There's a certain something fascinating about watching things we don't understand.
5592954
I knew there had to be a reason that song was stuck in my head for the next twenty-four hours after the movie ended!
5593025
I disagree to a certain level. The overarching movie was clearly designed to appeal to the masses regardless of political ideology. Nobody on either side of the political aisle is going to say "but I like racism!" You throw capitalism in as the big motivating factor and suddenly you've alienated more than half the population by making them think the movie is targeting them.
So sure, as a motivation, greed could have been a stronger tool. But for the sake of mass appeal, it makes perfect sense that they didn't use it.
Personally, I think a better motivator would have been a feeling of betrayal. Sprout used to be friends with Hitch and Sunny. Then they go and become friends with who he believes is the enemy and leave him behind? Now that could have been a Grade-A motivator, and even opens up the solid potential for a redemption arc.
5593138
A magic act is entertaining because it makes us think, just how did that happen? It's probably a personality flaw on our parts, but to the Admiral and me, a mystery is a personal challenge, and solving it is the reward. Not knowing something just feels... counterintuitive. Sorry. So yes, we did completely invert the moral, as it were, behind the original episode, because we simply didn't agree with it. Fortunately, there aren't many episodes that we had this reaction to, and even fewer of them are getting the EC treatment at all.
5593144
I suppose I can understand that. Different strokes and all. And there is a reason I love the Theory channels on YouTube so much.
5593145
Yeah, while I didn't get the potential fixes I was originally hoping for, I can see better where you're coming from and am glad we could agree to disagree on it. Figuring out exactly what to do with these stories beyond the most basic "idea" stage of "an expanded reboot of this story might be cool" is still kind of a tentative, experimental process.
5593142
Honestly, I liked the kind of early Cold War vibe of Martetime Bay. It was capitalist in the "What's good for General Motors is good for America, and what's good for America is good for General Motors" sort of way, but there was more to it than that.
I would have of course liked to see that explored more fully, but I would have liked to see just about EVERYTHING in the movie explored more fully, and can especially understand why it did not go into too much detail on each community's specific political sins.
It's probably best to treat G5 as a soft reboot rather than a direct continuation, despite the callbacks and direct references to old characters and events. Trying to plot a line of history from G4 to G5 is only going to lead to disappointment.
It'll be nice if they do manage it somehow, though.
5593116
Well, I'm only spitballing ways to streamline the film a little to give a few minutes back to other areas. Plenty of ways to go about that.
In any case, It's debatable how much authority the royal family has in Zephyr Heights, given Queen Haven couldn't override her arrest and the authorities issued warrants for the two royal sisters, and pursued Haven after she escaped. I interpreted the royal family as mostly figureheads with limited power - which is still some, of course. Neither here nor there, in the end.
Alternatively, if it was just the royal sisters, there could have been a "they're not leaders yet, but they will be soon" thing. But then we're getting into fanfiction spitballing territory, and this isn't the time or the place for that.
Unimportant debate either way - just rose from me truly feeling how much the characters of Pipp and Haven in the film would be improved if combined.
Thank you for summing up how I feel in a way that I a) feel others should realise to save themselves some disappointment, and b) can use as a shorthand explanation to others in the future. Much appreciated!
5593191
Just about from first hearing about the movie, I adopted a somewhat middle approach that G5 and G4 exist in the same universe, but the time separating them is so vast -at least 1000 years, probably much more- that any direct connection is essentially undetectable.
5593191
Eh, now that you mention it, it probably is better that they don't even try. If history has taught us anything, it's that if Hasbro makes any attempt at creating a large overarching connection with anything at all it will fail spectacularly, either because A) they don't care enough about continuity to make it work or B) even if they did, they'd offend a majority of the fandom because "not my headcanon!"
5593115
I mean, kirin and changelings are technically both horned creatures; it could be a roundabout way of filling in that "Izzy's the only unicorn when both of the other pony kinds come in pairs" discrepancy you alluded to.
(Again, this relies on the assumption that I am not mixing up real leaks with fake leaks. Take my crummy memory with a few grains of salt.)
Yeah, I see him filling more of a mid-FiM Trixie-type role if anything* — not to mention that his incorporation would unbalance the pony ratio even further.
*I have an innocently insensitive glass-half-full outlook on the series, so I apologize if this analogy is actually a massive red flag.