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FanOfMostEverything


"[FoME] manages the impossible combination of being an actual legitimate nerd while staying unabashedly pleasant." —Aragón

More Blog Posts1109

Sep
26th
2021

Friendship is Card Games: My Little Pony: A New Generation · 12:16pm September 26th

A bit under two years after we saw the sun set on Equestria (and putting aside the fever dream of an interlude,) it is finally time to see how the golden age of Twilight tarnished into a long, dark night of Equestria’s soul… and the rise of a new Sunny era. Let’s begin.

The tennis ball bouncing against the Boulder Media logo in the opener makes me suspect the Izzyball meme was deliberately engineered. In which case, well played.

I won’t lie, knowing what’s coming, that opening with the Mane Six almost physically hurts to see. Though it’s a great art style. I hope they stick with it for the post-movie series if they shift to 2D.

Okay, the hard turn into echoing tribalist propaganda was very well done.

“And they never used their magic against each other.”
I see history has already forgotten Starlight Glimmer. And the Want-It Need-It spell. And…

I mean, I can’t judge the views of a literal child too harshly, but I would have to ask Sprout’s mother: Why did the pegasi and unicorns try to eat earth ponies? Of course, she probably heard it from her parents when she was a filly, and they from theirs, and so forth.
… Oh. This is the official history. Well that just raises further questions.

Hmm. A Twilight Vitruvian Mare, what appears to be one of her quills in a jar, an analysis of the Mane Six’s cutie marks, a map of Equestria, a picture of the Lockbox of Harmony, a drawing of Star Swirl… and what I sincerely hope is only a replica of the Bewitching Bell. Also what appears to be one of Spike’s footprints preserved in what I sincerely hope is cement. If enough time has passed for fossilization

“I leave all the brainwashing in Maretime Bay to you.”
I immediately like Argyle.

“Don’t worry, Mommy. When I become sheriff, I’ll keep everypony in line.”
Well, that doesn’t raise any red flags at all.

Interesting touch with Argyle having a cutie mark only on one flank. It’s presumably artificial, and it’s possible that his research indicated ponies of old only had the one mark. Possibly to save on manufacturing costs. :raritywink:

I do have to wonder why the tribes are cloistered in their respective areas. Yes, there’s xenophobia, but are these the only remaining pony communities? Period?

Sunny getting a horn and wings. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to remain completely unspoiled on this, so I recognize the foreshadowing for what it is.

And so we get the best look we can at Sunny’s Mane Six toys. They aren’t plastic miniatures like I thought, but hoof-carved for her by Argyle. This answers a lot of questions about how the Mane Six are remembered—or, you know, aren’t—and suggests how things got this bad. Though that’s still very unclear.

Ah. It’s even unclear in-universe, presumably the crux of Argyle’s research.

Okay, we’ve got the requisite “character saying ‘my little pony’” checked off the list.

I do like the overnight timeskip.

Huh. Pony yoga is still a thing. Unclear if the instructor still expects everypony to dislocate their hips.

Oof. Argyle fell victim to Protagonist Progenitor Syndrome. Excess drama in the circulatory system. Very tragic.

I do like how much familiar cutie marks factor into the decor of Sunny’s house.

So… How does an earth pony put on roller skates? Especially on the hind legs?

Magic may be gone, but spontaneous musical numbers are still a thing.

I love the little aside glance from the stallion at the smoothie stand. “Oh no, she’s singing in public again.”

I like how we immediately establish that Sprout is still a little shit. Not only is he pursuing this mare who has, at worst, committed a minor traffic violation with her choreography, he also takes the time to eat another pony’s lunch while in hot pursuit.

The demonized piñatas look more like ducks than anything. Especially the alleged pegasus.

I know what’s coming, so those parents being scandalized by a balloonicorn doesn’t seem that outrageous.

Okay, now Sprout can probably charge Sunny with petty vandalism.

Wow. Apparently Phyllis not only runs a corporation with her hairdo for the logo, her glasses are on the headquarters. That’s an impressive commitment to branding and a terrifyingly colossal ego.

… Oh. Huh. Seems like all cutie marks are only showing up on the right flank. Unexpected and bizarre. One could probably read into this in terms of an imbalance in the forces of the world resulting in a literal imbalance in personal iconography, but I was under the impression the marks would only come back along with magic.

Oh, Sprout was running surveillance on Sunny. That makes sense.

Hmm. Industrious. Though it’s unclear what Canterlogic actually does.

Ah, “moon.” The quad of time measurement. I can only assume the meaning has shifted somewhat since the days of Friendship is Magic; twenty moons doesn’t seem like much.

Oh, Canterlogic is in the security business. In the sense of “Be afraid! Be afraid so you buy our stuff!” Insidious. Especially since the products shown are mostly useless. Magic isn’t currently a thing, so the anti-mind reading helmet has no use (and even if it were, I doubt they got unicorns to test it.) The personal periscope can be replicated by, you know, looking up. And the escape pack speaks for itself. Mostly “Seriously, they didn’t test any of this.”
I have to wonder how Phyllis would react if I told her she reminded me of a pair of unicorns…

It takes some serious audacity to say your company cares about its customers’ safety after two demonstrations of lawsuits waiting to happen.

Oh, this will not end well. Sunny, this is how you get excommunicated. Or, depending on the product, killed.
(Honestly, Sunny’s doing a great job of countering the de-equinization efforts of Canterlogic. Proactive defenses are a lot less appealing when you remember that they’re defending you against other people and not an abstract them.)

I do appreciate the demo team being named Toots and Sweets.

The mention of chaos does raise the question of where Discord is in all of this. Possibly unable to enter this universe while magic is neutralized.

Hitch’s demand that Sunny put her money where her mouth is does have some merit. The issue is that she and the security-industrial complex are both preaching abstracts. Concrete arguments will do a lot… if anypony can stop panicking long enough to appreciate them.
That said, Hitch’s claim that Argyle made up the tales of old Equestria… Yeah, Sunny appears to have a mountain of primary sources at home, which raises a lot of questions we may get to later. At least, I hope we do.

Ah yes, the Izzy-induced panic scene. One of the previews I saw, and it is a delight.

So they have had unicorn and pegasus drills. I was wondering.
… oh, wow, this is Tokyo-3 levels of deployable city defenses. Are we sure Phyllis doesn’t have a fetal Celestia embedded in her hoof?

Very nice “action movie chase scene” camera angles as Sunny and Izzy run for it.

Apparently splatapults come with battery-powered option, going by how these don’t seem to need to be plugged in. (Also, now I’m wondering what Maretime Bay uses for electricity.)

One of the slime balls hitting the camera was a very nice touch.

A unicorn Terminator movie. Yeah, alright, that does work. I do like the other posters, with a unicorn Jaws and a Harry Potter film… which raises some questions, actually. You’d think wizards in a heroic role wouldn’t go over well.

Okay, the unicorn’s been captured. Now what?
… Yeah, not the best design for an incarceration device in the world.

Very nice touch. Even though Sunny wants to befriend the other tribes, she couldn’t grow up in Maretime Bay without internalizing some of the propaganda.

142 questions for a unicorn. Twilight would be proud.

Wait, if Sunny knew where unicorns lived, why didn’t she go there? I’m going to assume this is mostly endorphin-induced babbling.

Not the best phrasing from Izzy there.

Yeah, this level of separation would imply that the other tribes are just as prejudiced as the earth ponies. Though unicorn stereotypes seem to carry more disdain than fear.

Huh. Sunny really did know where the other tribes live. No wonder Hitch was telling her to put up or shut up. She’s been trying to build popular support for an idea she’s never actually put into practice. Granted, funds and some idea of what to do when she gets to Bridlewood or Zephyr Heights may have held her back, but I’m not sure what was actually stopping her before Izzy accidentally made her a fugitive.

… Oh. Right. Herd species. Hard to go out alone on nothing more than a wing and a prayer. And that assumes she’d find a cooperative pegasus. Having even one pony by her side is a massive morale boost.

I do appreciate Izzy cueing the backup singers.

That apple tree raises some uncomfortable questions.

Oh no, the balloon escape pack demonstrator is still drifting across the landscape. :rainbowlaugh:

That notebook paper “Depooty” placard on Sprout’s desk says a lot about him. (Granted, that may be more indicative of the sheriff’s office’s budget. Canterlogic clearly isn’t subsidizing it.)

The all-Hitch charity calendar is honestly kind of hilarious. Going by his coloration, I suspect Flash Sentry was one of his ancestors. Waifus beware.
… Actually, given the unpredictability of pony genetics, this does raise some uncomfortable questions about what happens when ponies are born in the wrong place as the wrong tribe… :twilightoops:

“I can do stuff!” says Sprout, ruining everything.
“You can do stuff!” agrees his mother, encouraging him.

… Huh. Izzy can see emotional auras? I have several questions there.

Oh wow, pulling Sunny up with her horn couldn’t have been fun for Izzy. Still, helping somepony when they’re falling off a cliff has been shown to lead to lifelong friendship. :ajsmug::twilightsmile:

Meme achieved. Also, no one tell the folks at Canterlogic R&D. They’ll make a matte black tennis ball and charge eighty bits per unit.

And now we have the splendor of Zephyr Heights. Including the advertisements of Zephyr Heights. Zeus watches, Pony electronics, ZBS (the Zephyr Broadcasting System, naturally,) McWings…
One does have to wonder about the name, though. Maybe Fluttershy’s brother really made a name for himself later in life… though if he were remembered and she weren’t, I’m not sure how I’d take that.

Very much not sure how to feel about the fountain of pony emojis in Pipp’s video, but she is an e-celebrity of some kind.

Speaking of Zephyr Breeze, we do see a suspiciously familiar stallion in one crowd shot. This invite several questions.

There are some suggestions that Zephyr Heights was once Canterlot. The castle is one of them, though it would have been heavily remodeled.

I see flugelhorn design has made it through the unspecified ages largely unchanged.

I have several questions and concerns about the dog with wings.

Good to see Izzy has some sense of discretion. Pipp, on the other hand, thinks of the views first and operational security somewhere around thirty-seventh.

“What else can go wrong today?”
To be fair, it’s still early in Sunny’s adventuring career. She hasn’t yet learned not to tempt fate.

A parent talking about destiny… I’d be concerned if Phyllis hadn’t turned Sprout to the Dark Side when he was a colt.

Wears a pegasus detection device.
Worries about unicorns.
Yeah, that one’s on the user.

In any case, I have to love how Phyllis wound up her customer base with fear and paranoia, then unleashed the consequences on her own son. Sorry, did I say “love”? I meant “despise.” Though it is a great demonstration of the level of slime we’re dealing with.

“Think what they could do to the status quo.”
Bit on the nose, but still a very nice touch. The most terrifying thing for the entrenched power structure is change.

… Oh wow. Blink-and-you’ll-miss-it G1 footage on those TVs before Sprout shows up. That raises yet more questions.

“Let’s enter a blind irrational state!”
Again, on the nose, but in a way I can appreciate.

… Oh man, it just keeps getting less subtle and I love it. The fact that even Hitch’s critter tagalongs are getting into it is amazing. And it may be the biggest earworm in the movie thus far, which is perfect.

Wow. Even the prisons in Zephyr Heights have gold accents and flat screens blasting advertisements. And massage chairs, apparently.

Everyone’s just assuming earth ponies have nothing to contribute to the magic discussion, and I would love nothing more to see a counterexample there. We’ll see, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

I appreciate the remixed royal fanfare for Pipp’s arrival.

Ooh, hoofprint scanner. Very nice.

Hitch’s monlogue does make for a good “moment of obliviousness” gag.

Huh. A rail station? Just abandoned? Bizarre.

I do love Zipp seeking the sky by any means necessary, whether through athleticism or engineering.

It’s honestly heartbreaking for Twilight’s cutie mark to mean nothing to ponies… though you’d think Sunny would recognize the cutie mark of one of her childhood toys.

Huh. Find crystals to save the day. Not sure if we’re more Zelda or Final Fantasy right now. And that central gap could be an earth pony crystal…
(And that, of course, assumes that these crystals weren’t originally meant to be symbolic. Yes, I am proposing that the real magic will be the friends they make along the way. Literally.)

Great plan, Sunny. Just grab the literal crown jewels. No big deal, I’m sure.

Bear in mind that Bridlewood apparently has access to dry macaroni and those other assorted crafting materials.

I do love a good heist montage.

Ah. While earth ponies rely on a culture of profitable fear, pegasi lean on bread and circuses, with celebrity royalty pacifying the populace to keep them from thinking of how thing could be better.

Wait, when and how did Hitch get a mustache? And how did he get past security?
Ah, all part of the disguise.

All things considered, Hitch’s improvisation isn’t bad.

And the facade comes crashing down. Add another mob to the pile, I suppose.

:facehoof: Always make sure you stow all quest items safely and securely, folks.

Even the rats have wings? So many questions.

Definitely one of the more peaceful revolutions I’ve seen, but we do have to bear in mind the PG rating.

You’re way outside your jurisdiction, Hitch. Also, there are bigger fish to fry right now.

Zero OSHA compliance at Canterlogic.

You know, I was joking about the “parent tempting their child to the Dark Side” thing. I wasn’t expecting Sprout to actually channel Vader for a moment.
Also, there are a lot of elevators in this movie, aren’t there?

You created this monster, Phyllis. You have to deal with it.
Though I have to echo her incredulity. Jumping straight up to emperor is awfully audacious. Does Maretime Bay even have a mayor who can react to this grasping for power?

I appreciate Izzy’s cutting psychosocial insight.

I assume the bridge went out after Izzy found her way to Maretime Bay. That or this isn’t actually the way she came.

She may not have magic, but Izzy is still terrifyingly capable with that horn.

That poor guy is still up there.

One gesture of kindness can make all the difference… or at least get the ball rolling. Overcoming inertia takes work.

Wasn’t expecting all unicorns to adopt the “live in a tree” model, but it did work for Twilight.

And the requisite “playing the theme song” moment.

“I’ve never gotten to use it with actual friends!
Oof. That says volumes.

“Tongues like tasers”? What, if a unicorn licks you, it has a thirty percent chance to paralyze?

Oh, that’s the context of the late night set. That had not been clear.

Rapping in MLP does not have a good track record—Pinkie, looking at you—but this wasn’t bad.

“This is how a unicorn ends this song.”
And now we’re getting back to the question of just how diegetic these musical numbers really are.

Not sure if Sombra ever reproduced or if that accusation about unicorns loving shiny things had more weight to it than Hitch realized. In any case, it does make me wonder what happened to the Crystal Empire. Nothing good, I’m sure.

I can definitely see a legacy of spellcasting leading to copious superstitions in a magicless era. And I’m entirely in favor of mayonnaise being a forbidden word.

Not sure what to make of the… armadillo rats?

Ah, double or nothing. I am impressed by Sunny talking the talk with Alphabittle.

I have several questions regarding the forestpunk DDR machine, but it’s too charming for me to actually dislike.

Unlike earth pony fear or pegasus frivolity, unicorns are just locked in a malaise. The main force keeping them down is sheer apathy. Understandable; they’ve arguably lost the most in this post-magic era.

So… was Sunny’s meter supposed to go up at some point during round two, or what?

Credit to the closed captioning: After Hitch unloads the forbidden words, the ensuing chaos unfolds with the caption “(BING-BONGING IN BACKGROUND)”

… Thank hoofness. Thank hoofness. I had hoped I was free of that after running through Pony Life. Though if this is actually an offshoot of that timeline, that could actually explain a lot.

“You pegasi always thought you were better than us.”
I have to wonder what supports that statement.

“You’re wasting your time, kid. There’s more than twenty minutes of runtime left.”

Seeking a magical solution to change the world isn’t going to work. It takes work, and it’s going to be messy. But after a life of disappointment, I’m not surprised that Sunny lost hope here.

Nice touch with Sunny not bothering to readjust the picture of her and her dad.

Well, at least she’s not straight up dumping the Mane Six figurines into the trash.

Hmm. In the middle, that’s clearly a picture of the Tree of Harmony just above the main frame Sunny’s looking at. On the left there we have diagrams of the Elements as they were presented in Predictions & Prophecies… and the Memory Stone. Lethemancy would go a long way towards explaining how Equestria ended up this way to begin with…

Yeah, negative space is important, Sunny. And there were always three tribes. (At least.) Though this does raise the question of where Argyle got the earth crystal. And how long that lighthouse has been there.

Goose-stepping ponies. Never a good sign.

Oh no. Sprout’s gone full Generalissimo.

“They’ve been brainwashed! Keep listening to me mindlessly!”
Sometimes the commentary needs to have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

I do love the little furious Sprout bobblehead in the cockpit of his personalized war machine.

On the one hand, I’m surprised Haven and Alphabittle handed over their crystals so readily. On the other, you don’t argue with the mare who actually has a plan when you’re staring down a giant death robot.

Huh. I admit, I was expecting the lighthouse to do something. On the other hand, if it was just the crystals, it wouldn’t…
Oh, yeah, Sunny’s already got it. The crystals, as stated, are symbols of something more important, the unity between ponies. The equation’s been established since 2010; friendship is magic. (Of course, that raises questions about the era before the windigo FImbulwinter, but Twilight’s ascendance may have permanently altered the nature of magic.)

I’m surprised that Sprout was swayed, but I suppose even he’s tired of being afraid and angry all the time. If only it were that easy…

Oh. This is familiar. I knew the end result was coming, but I wasn’t expecting this level of similarity in the initial light show.

Sunny’s pure magic horn and wings are certainly interesting. Reminiscent of Daydream Shimmer. I have to wonder if these come with more attached terms and conditions than the standard ascendance package.

Could… could you give the earth ponies something here, guys? A bit of sparkle around the hooves? Anything?

… Ah. I’ll take a teaser of glowing hoofprints.

In all, this was a great introduction to this new era. And there a lot of questions left lingering, regarding both how we got here from “The Last Problem” and where ponykind goes from this point. Will Sunny, phantasmal alicorn that she is, be expected to lead Equestria? How much friction will remain after the initial rush of restored magic wears off? What about all the other species out there? This could be a Shadowrun situation, with returning magic coming with a lot more complications than anyone realized. And some of those complications could be dragons…

It’s a big world out there, and the efforts to shrink down to this stretch of coastline won’t hold out forever. I look forward to seeing where and how it goes from here.

Brilliant Luminescence W
Instant
Target creature you control gains lifelink and gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures in your herd. (Your herd consists of up to one each of Bat, Pegasus, Pony, and Unicorn.)

Teahouse Critter 1W
Creature — Mouse Pangolin
Teahouse Critter gets +0/+2 as long as it’s tapped.
Like many of the oddities and incongruities of Equestria, no one thinks to question Alphabittle’s waitstaff.
2/1

Advertising Flatscreen 2W
Creature — Wall
Whenever Advertising Flatscreen enters the battlefield or blocks, draw a card.
The citizens of Zephyr Heights are constantly bombarded with information, usually about what they should buy.
0/4

Sheriff Hitch Trailblazer 3W
Legendary Creature — Pony Soldier
Vigilance
When Sheriff Hitch Trailblazer enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life for each other creature you control.
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, you gain 1 life.
“Stay safe, everypony. Please?”
3/4

Xenophobic Propaganda 3W
Enchantment
As Xenophobic Propaganda enters the battlefield, choose a creature type.
Creatures you control of the chosen type have protection from creatures that aren’t that type. (They can’t be blocked, targeted, or dealt damage by those creatures.)
“To be scared is to be prepared.”

Royal Wirework 1U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control
Enchanted creature has flying and ward 2.
When a spell or ability an opponent controls that targets enchanted creature resolves, sacrifice Royal Wirework.
Bright lights and careful stagecraft hide the mundane truth… for a time.

Curse of Lost Magic 2U
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
Creatures enchanted player controls lose all abilities.
8: Destroy Curse of Lost Magic. Only enchanted player may activate this ability. It costs 1 less to activate for each creature that player controls.

Royal Aereographer 2U
Creature — Pegasus Artificer
U: Target creature gains flying until end of turn.
U: Untap target creature with flying.
The royal family owes their flight to a team of dedicated specialists.
1/3

Zephyr Heights Patrolpony 2U
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
As long as an opponent controls a Pony or Unicorn, you may cast Zephyr Heights Patrolpony as though it had flash.
“Nopony expects to see some wingless infiltrator. Then one day they pop up out of nowhere.”
3/2

Hitch’s Recruits 3U
Creature — Crab
When Hitch’s Recruits enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 blue Bird creature tokens with flying.
Even Hitch doesn’t know why animals flock to him. They just do.
0/3

Psychic Unicorn 3U
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
When Psychic Unicorn enters the battlefield, look at target opponent’s hand, then choose a nonland card name.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell with the chosen name, draw card.
“Now, I know what you’re thinking…”
2/3

Breaching Megalocorn 4U
Creature — Unicorn Shark
Mutate 4UU (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
Whenever this creature mutates, you may cast target instant or sorcery card from an opponent’s graveyard without paying its mana cost. If that spell would be put into a graveyard this turn, exile it instead.
4/5

Highrise Rat 1B
Creature — Rat
Delirium — Highrise Rat has flying as long as there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard.
“What? Everything that lives in Zephyr Heights has wings.”
—Princess Pipp Petals
2/1

Jinxed Unicorn 1B
Creature — Unicorn Rogue
When Jinxed Unicorn dies, each player discards a card.
Disenchanted in every sense, unicorns live in fear of jinxes that will make them even more unfortunate.
2/2

Brainboil 2B
Sorcery
Target opponent discards two cards. If fewer than two cards were discarded this way, that player mills six cards.
Earth ponies convinced each other that unicorns would burst their heads as soon as look at them.

Cackling Thoughtreaver 3B
Creature — Unicorn Warlock
Cackling Thoughtreaver has menace as long as an opponent has one or fewer cards in hand.
Sprout’s childhood fantasies belied his lifelong fears.
5/2

Swooping Pegasus 3BB
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flash
Flying
When Swooping Pegasus enters the battlefield, destroy up to one target creature without flying.
Canterlogic makes every effort to demonize the other tribes in its customers’ eyes.
3/2

“Danger Danger” 1R
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Danger Danger”.
Sacrifice “Danger Danger”: Goad up to X target creatures, where X is the number of verse counters on “Danger Danger”. (Until your next turn, those creatures attack each combat if able and attack a player other than you if able.)

Drifting Demonstrator 1R
Creature — Pony Citizen
Flying
Drifting Demonstrator attacks each combat if able.
Whenever Drifting Demonstrator attacks, defending player gains control of it at end of combat.
Canterlogic calls it “Peer-reviewed safety testing.”
2/1

Panicked Stampede 2RR
Instant
Attacking creatures get +2/+0 and gain trample until end of turn.
Izzy Moonbow set hoof in Maretime Bay, and the world was never the same.

Untested Equipment 3R
Instant
Each artifact deals 2 damage to its controller, each Equipment attached to a creature deals 2 damage to that creature, and each artifact creature deals 2 damage to itself.
Price point is Canterlogic’s first concern. Functionality is somewhere around eleventh.

Sprout’s Mob 4R
Creature — Pony Berserker
Whenever one or more creatures attack, Sprout’s Mob gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each of those creatures.
When Sprout’s Mob dies while it’s attacking or blocking, create a number of 1/1 white Pony creature tokens equal to its power.
3/3

Crystal Collector 1G
Creature — Unicorn Citizen
T: Add G.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, untap Crystal Collector.
Whether by stories of ancient marvels or just seeking treasure, all unicorns are drawn to crystals.
1/1

Follow the Trail 1G
Sorcery
Search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Investigate. (Create a colorless Clue artifact token with "2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Hitch takes hot pursuit very seriously.

Bridlewood Welcome 2G
Instant
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt by non-Unicorn creatures this turn.
“Yeah, most unicorns aren’t that happy to see new faces.”
—Izzy Moonbow

Hornpecker 3G
Creature — Unicorn Scout
1G: Target creature you control can’t be blocked by creatures with power 2 or less this turn.
“A bridge? Give me a few minutes and some aspirin.”
3/3

Athletic Relic 2
Artifact
(2w), T, Sacrifice Athletic Relic: Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.
When Athletic Relic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card.
“Whether they were performers or special forces remains unclear.”
—Argyle’s research notes

Arcane Relic 2
Artifact
(2u), T, Sacrifice Arcane Relic: Put target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard on top of your library.
When Arcane Relic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card.
“Beards and bells seem intrinsically tied to magic.”
—Argyle’s research notes

Cartographic Relic 2
Artifact
(2g), T, Sacrifice Cartographic Relic: Search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
When Cartographic Relic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card.
“We can’t appreciate what or where we’ve lost.”
—Argyle’s research notes.

Draconic Relic 2
Artifact
(2r), T, Sacrifice Draconic Relic: Create a 3/3 red Dragon creature token with flying and haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.
When Draconic Relic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card.
“We’ve lost touch with more than just other ponies.”
—Argyle’s research notes

Ominous Relic 2
Artifact
(2b), T, Sacrifice Ominous Relic: Target player mills four cards, then exiles all cards from their graveyard.
When Ominous Relic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, draw a card.
“Some things are better left forgotten.”
—Argyle’s research notes

Bridlewood Crystal 3
Artifact
T: Add R, G, or W.
Cycling 2 (2, Discard this card: Draw a card.)
Ancient, untamed forces slumbered during magic’s abeyance. They slumber no more.

Crystals of the Pony Tribes 4
Legendary Artifact
T: Add X mana of different colors, where X is the number of creatures in your herd.
WUBRG, T, Sacrifice Crystals of the Pony Tribes: Exile the top X cards of your library, where X is twice the number of creatures in your herd. You may cast any number of those cards without paying their mana costs.

Rotary Splatapult 4
Artifact
2, T: Choose one —
• Rotary Splatapult deals 1 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
• Tap target creature.
The ammunition is a proprietary blend based on fables of monstrous equinoids.

Twilit Amulet 5
Artifact
Each spell your team casts has surge. The surge cost is equal to its mana cost reduced by up to 2. (A player may cast a spell for its surge cost if they or a teammate has cast another spell this turn.)
A memory of bygone unity and uniters.

Relentless Stalker 6
Artifact Creature — Unicorn Assassin
Indestructible
As Relentless Stalker enters the battlefield, choose a creature an opponent controls.
Relentless Stalker attacks the chosen creature’s controller each combat if able.
“Where is Sincere Honor?”
5/4

“Fit Right In” (gu)(gu)
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Fit Right In”.
(gu), Sacrifice “Fit Right In”: Until end of turn, up to X target creatures become Unicorns with base power and toughness 3/3, where X is the number of verse counters on “Fit Right In”.

Bridlewood Poet 1(gw)
Creature — Unicorn Citizen
Sacrifice Bridlewood Poet: Destroy target enchantment.
“In the woods
Nothing good
This spell I’ll tear
Who even cares?”
2/2

Izzy, Salvage Artist BGU
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Artificer
T, Mill two cards: Add B, G, or U.
G(ub), T, Exile X cards from your graveyard: Create a token that’s a copy of target artifact or creature with mana value X.
“It’s amazing what you can find lying around the forest. Like inspiration!”
2/4

Sunny Starscout GWU
Legendary Creature — Pony Scout
Whenever you cast a historic spell, look at the top five cards of your library. You may reveal a creature card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library. (Artifacts, legendaries, and Sagas are historic.)
T, Tap an untapped Pegasus and an untapped Unicorn you control: Transform and untap Sunny.
3/3
Sunny, Friendship Reborn
(GWU) Legendary Creature — Shaman
Alicorn (This creature is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying, trample, lifelink
Sunny, Friendship Reborn’s power and toughness are each equal to the number of creatures you control.
Whenever you cast a historic spell, create a 1/1 white Pegasus creature token with flying.
*/*

Argyle, Deep Researcher 1WB
Legendary Creature — Pony Citizen
During each of your turns, you may play a historic permanent card from your graveyard.
“The world isn’t what we think it is. Lost ages lie buried under a thin layer of dust.”
2/3

Sprout, Aspring Tyrant 1RW
Legendary Creature — Pony Soldier
Whenever one or more creatures attack you or a planeswalker you control, create a 1/1 white Pony creature token.
X, Tap ten minus X other untapped creatures you control: Transform Sprout, Aspiring Tyrant.
3/2
Sprouticus Maximus
(RW) Legendary Artifact Creature — Construct
Double strike, trample
When this creature transforms into Sprouticus Maximus, put a +1/+1 counter on it for each tapped creature you control.
The sum of all earth pony fears is preemptive retaliation.
5/5

Haven, the Beautiful Lie 2UR
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Noble
Each creature you control gets +2/+0 and has flying as long as it hasn’t become the target of a spell or ability this turn.
“It is our duty to give the ponies hope, regardless of what reality says.”
2/3

Zipp, Aerial Aspirant 2UR
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Noble
As long as you’ve drawn two or more cards this turn, Zipp, Aerial Aspirant has flying.
Whenever you cast an artifact, instant, or sorcery spell, if it doesn’t share a type with another spell you’ve cast this turn, draw a card.
3/2

Scour the Undercity 2BG
Sorcery
Return up to one target artifact card, up to one target creature card, up to one target enchantment card, up to one target land card, and up to one target planeswalker card from your graveyard to your hand.
Exile Scour the Undercity.

Pipp, Royal Celebutante 3WU
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Noble
When Pipp, Royal Celebutante enters the battlefield, if it was cast, create a 1/1 blue Pegasus creature token for each noncreature artifact you control.
Tap four untapped artifacts and/or creatures you control: Draw a card.
A single post unleashes an army.
2/2

Alphabittle, Teahouse Champ 3GW
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Rogue
Whenever Alphabittle, Teahouse Champ or another Unicorn enters the battlefield under your control, exile up to one target nonland permanent until Alphabittle leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain 1 life for each card exiled with Alphabittle.
3/4

Bridlewood Village
Land
As Bridlewood Village enters the battlefield, you may reveal a Unicorn card from your hand. If you don’t, Bridlewood Village enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G or W.
Sylvan splendor contrasts against equine malaise.

Maretime Bay
Land
As Maretime Bay enters the battlefield, you may reveal a Pony card from your hand. If you don’t Maretime Bay enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G or U.
A thriving port town without a single export.

Zephyr Heights
Land
As Zephyr Heights enters the battlefield, you may reveal a Pegasus card from your hand. If you dob’t, Zephyr Heights enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add U or R.
Full of cloud and branding, signifying nothing.

Comments ( 25 )

Oof. Argyle fell victim to Protagonist Progenitor Syndrome. Excess drama in the circulatory system. Very tragic.

I felt that it was a missed opportunity that they didn't make his death or disappearance the result of some misunderstanding with a unicorn or pegasus.

It would've given Sunny herself some doubt to overcome, and personal growth in rediscovering her conviction that the three tribes can work together, as she goes on an adventure with the others. But that's probably darker than what they were going for and a very different story all together.

These would be lovely... I have some copyright infringement to commit.

Inside Baseball Alert: I can't help but laugh at Athletic Relic's flavor text. "Remains unclear" indeed.

Stupid Complicated Game Alert: If Sprout's mecha isn't powerful enough for your opponent to desperately throw everything they have in its path just to have any hope of survival, you're playing his colors wrong. You have lots of cheap creatures, and they've gotten in for damage at least once before the opponent could do anything about it.

unicorns are just locked in a malaise. The main force keeping them down is sheer apathy.

>Millenials would like to know your location

fuck I feel that depression vibe yo

… Actually, given the unpredictability of pony genetics, this does raise some uncomfortable questions about what happens when ponies are born in the wrong place as the wrong tribe…

Someone write that fanfiction!

putting aside the fever dream of an interlude

Never. I'm still hoping for a third season.

Post movie series has been confirmed 3D for a while, I believe.

That could be the real Bell. It was cracked and damaged during the ending, and either way it's not of much use in a world without magic. Worth noting perhaps is that it's no longer there after the timeskip.

The funny thing about ponies now having cutie marks on one side is that most G5 toys actually have them on both sides. It could be meant as a retcon to FiM, it could just be a flex on the flaws of puppet-based Flash and similar animation.

The whole movie takes place over only a very small portion of the world. It's possible that there are other ponies in other cities out there. Or not.

Aside from the wooden toys, Sunny also has a Spike plushie and what very much looks like it could be a Fausticorn doll.

How does Sunny put on her rollerskates? Ask Twilight: https://derpibooru.org/images/411206
The real question is how she can use a spray can while wearing them.

There's no hard evidence Moon cycles still work the same way now, that may be a convenient excuse to handwave the use of the term.

It's actually very unclear how much Argyle actually understood of old Equestria and how much he simply catalogued and studied, trying to piece it all together. It's doubly unclear how much he managed to explain to Sunny before contracting PPS. As an aside I've been hanging around some speculation threads, and we've found one of the papers seen in the lighthouse is a transcription of something Twilight said in The Ending of The End. There's also the big page with the P at the start that we hadn't yet figured out last I checked.

I love Izzy. I just want to make that very clear.

And Sunny's sparkle is lavender. I'm not saying G5 is going for a weird pseudo reincarnation plot, but given who wrote this script that has to be intentional.

As demonstrated later when she chops down that tree, Izzy has very strong neck muscles.

There's a whole lot of back and forth discussion on whether ZH is Canterlot or not. Most agree it probably isn't unless coastlines changed significantly, because Canterlot is too far from every place that Maretime Bay could be, and also point out that the type of mountains and rocks are significantly different. Canterlot was on the side of a purple mountain, Zephyr is on top or a red plateau. I'm thinking it's not the same place, just similar style.

In Phyllis's mild defense, she didn't know better. She's profiting off of it, but she believes what they've been taught about unicorns and pegasi as much as everyone else.

Danger, Danger's earworm properties might be mostly due to it shamelessly taking the opening and chorus riff from Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit, but I too love how they got away with those lyrics by playing up the comedy angle. It's brilliant and I will fight anyone who disagrees.

Those G1 TVs are 20% off.

The prison Sunny and Izzy are put in is both a literal and a metaphorical gilded cage. And in a somewhat on the nose but still appreciated visual metaphor, its golden bars are also used to cover Pipp and Zipp while they lie about their ability to fly, representing their own purely metaphorical one and the way Pipp enjoys it while Zipp hates it.

Speaking of cinematography there's a couple of other shots with some smart framing, where multiple characters look at each other but all their faces are shown simultaneously. One is when Pipp talks on the big screen and we get to see the crowd's reaction through one pony looking at their phone, turned towards the camera. The other is Haven talking with Zipp, where we see Zipp's expression reflected in the mirror.

And speaking of that scene, Zipp was channeling her inner Applejack there. Another one down for the list of weird M6 amalgamations that make up the G5 cast. Given Hitch's critter magnet nature even he can't explain, there's something there that's more than just a wink to the previous gen.

It's probably not just a rail station, if at all. Those drapes aren't drapes, they're all deflated hot air balloons. It would explain the giant fans. And on the board, among Bridlewood and Maretime Bay, you can also spot Manehattan, so that was still around when the place was abandoned. Also, we get an important detail confirmed here, the tribes separated before losing their magic.

The crystals were probably meant to be both symbolic and more. It's pure speculation but Twilight might have had them made as a safety measure. And it's not that weird for Sunny to not associate Twilight's cutie mark with her, the movie is actually consistent in there being a general lack of knowledge about what happened after Twilight took over and her cutie mark seems to have become a symbol of something greater than just her. For all Sunny knows, Twilight got it on her butt because she was special and tied to something bigger, not the other way around. Which is actually technically true since it's literally the shape that was on the Tree of Harmony and that the Element of Magic always had. Sunny knows Twilight also had it on her, but she doesn't know what it means. She certainly doesn't know Twilight had what seems like a centuries long reign.

Sprout is channeling Char from Gundam too, with that colour scheme and that collar. And the red mech.

If you needed a reminder that Berrow worked on this, and since we're fresh off her first book, Izzy calls the different pony types "breeds". Also Izzy with those comically oversized glasses is a gift from the heavens above and it makes me forgive the song for rhyming endeavour with clever. And even beyond death, the local Pinkie rapping is a multiversal constant.

Aside from Sunny's song at the start, most musical numbers appear to serve as condensed narration. But Izzy's specifically bending reality to show those sets is probably an Izzy thing specifically, given Hitch's reaction.

Pipp's inspirational moment in the Just Prance scene goes by too fast. The movie could have used 10 more minutes or so from here on, to flesh out some scenes better.

I was delighted that they kept "Hoofness" in there. In part because I knew it would make you suffer. I need to start incorporating it into my own stories.

The real question bringing EQG into this raises is what the human world looks like now. And we might find out. EQG was a cash cow for Hasbro, I'm almost certain it'll have a G5 version. The most viewed mlp related YouTube videos of all time are EQG after all.

The lighthouse was already there when the Zephyr Heights station was abandoned, given the poster there. So, you know, many many moons ago.

So here's another part where knowing Berrow's previous work becomes relevant: The crystals work in an extremely similar fashion to the Crystal Heart. Aside from being made of crystal, they have the same aurora type visuals and they also activate in correlation with emotional resonance between ponies. I'm not saying they're necessarily made of Cosmic Spectrum, but you can see parallels and consistencies in her ideas.

I also very much look forward to seeing where we go from here. Yeah, the movie isn't perfect. It's got better writing than the first two FiM episodes though. A weaker emotional climax compared to it, but the things that made me love G4 are still there. The characters are good, the world has potential, and I want to see where they'll take this. The movie didn't even get to the characters' established Elements, I have hope that everything they've laid out will actually lead somewhere. And it might not, but I'd rather ride this train until it crashes than get off.

And now, to suffer a six month hiatus. Maybe three months if the YouTube content starts sooner.

Yeah, aside from the foreshadowing of Argyle putting the horn on filly Sunny's head while she's already wearing wings, remember Izzy said Sunny's luminescence was lavender. Hint hint. :trollestia:

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Someone is, actually.

And of course, they got the right guy to be Sprout: someone whose métier is psychopathic man-children. His character arc is going to look a lot like Ben Chang's.

Will Sunny, phantasmal alicorn that she is, be expected to lead Equestria

Apparently the alicorn state is supposed to be temporary. She'll be an earth pony again next we see.

It took me a minute, but I see what you did there with Relentless Stalker. And in contrast to what you want in real life, Xenophobic Propaganda is something you'd want in basically every tribal deck that can run it. If enchantments like Beastmaster Ascension didn't exist I'd almost say it was broken.

One thing I liked was how, after G4's long tradition of unicorn and alicorn villains, G5's first foe was an earth pony backed up by demagoguery and a giant robot.

Overall, I really liked this movie -- it's definitely the best of the three pony movies released so far. Clear storyline, wonderful characters, good humor, gorgeous visuals... it's very fun to watch, and I'm happily looking forward to the rest.

...how the Mane Six are remembered—or, you know, aren’t...

If there's anything we've learned from G4, it's that ponies don't do history.

...a unicorn Jaws and a Harry Potter film...

Not to mention Dirty Prancing for date night!

Lethemancy would go a long way towards explaining how Equestria ended up this way to begin with…

Regarding that...

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So here's another part where knowing Berrow's previous work becomes relevant: The crystals work in an extremely similar fashion to the Crystal Heart.

Yep. The similarity is very striking if you read Berrow's Princess Cadance and the Spring Hearts Garden and Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell. The crystal do-dads are entirely dependent on the emotional state of the ponies tied into them. No harmony, no magic.

Forget lacing shoes; how does Sunny do her mane?

Wait, if Sunny knew where unicorns lived, why didn’t she go there? I’m going to assume this is mostly endorphin-induced babbling.

My guess is she was still in the 'uncertain young adult' phase, retracing her father's research but not sure where to go from there. Given that she appears to have steadily become a recluse about to lose her only remaining friend, I'm guessing making her own journey would have been the next step if Izzy had not appeared.

Ah. While earth ponies rely on a culture of profitable fear, pegasi lean on bread and circuses, with celebrity royalty pacifying the populace to keep them from thinking of how thing could be better.

It was Norris who noted to me that the three tribes represent different, but poignant brands of racism: demagoguery and propaganda, willful ignorance and distraction, and superstitious (religious) obsession.

...And boy howdy, the racism. Imagine getting a job illustrating for the new MLP show and as part of your research you have to study real-life racist drawings. Izzy's picture of the pegasi is right out of WWII anti-Japanese propaganda, and her art of the earth ponies is painfully reminiscent of Jim Crow-era cartoons.

And then we have an incompetent and aggressive demagogue elevated by defense and industrial interests, who are then shocked and dismayed when he proves uncontrolled. The other "villains" include an industrialist whose profit depends on the status quo and a queen whose position depends on the status quo. All a far cry from moustache-twirling Nightmare Moon, but somehow that makes them more poignant and closer to home.

Really, I was all set to condescendingly compliment the movie as "good, for a predictable CGI children's movie," but the willingness to engage both more subtle evil and more hard-hitting racism puts it beyond that.

I'm not buying all the merch and screaming for more, but it was a good watch. They could have taken 5 more minutes to have the characters just talk and learn about each other to flesh things out (especially for Pipp), and honestly none of the songs did it for me. Those are the biggest criticisms I can muster.

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Xenophobic Propaganda is also borderline useless against changelings, and I'm not sure how much sense that actually makes.

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it could just be a flex on the flaws of puppet-based Flash and similar animation

Sort of like how the reason Gill from Street Fighter has such a dumb-looking design is because they were trying to show off that they could have non-mirrored sprites now.

The tennis ball bouncing against the Boulder Media logo in the opener makes me suspect the Izzyball meme was deliberately engineered. In which case, well played.

Between that and the closing credits, I wondered whether there were some last-minute animation additions once the filmmakers saw the meme take off.

… Actually, given the unpredictability of pony genetics, this does raise some uncomfortable questions about what happens when ponies are born in the wrong place as the wrong tribe… :twilightoops:

I'm guessing the folks who made this didn't follow that train of thought. Because if the three types of pony have been isolated for untold generations, and they now only live in three small communities, each containing maybe a few hundred residents, some reduction in genetic diversity is bound to occur. I'm going to pretend that that's why the cutie marks are all on only one side.

It’s honestly heartbreaking for Twilight’s cutie mark to mean nothing to ponies… though you’d think Sunny would recognize the cutie mark of one of her childhood toys.

Out-there suggestion: Does Sunny know that that's Twilight's cutie mark? None of her carved wooden Mane 6 toys have cutie marks, and even if Argyle didn't want to attempt the fine detail work, that seems like something a child would have tried to crudely draw on. On the other hand, we can infer from the buttons on her saddlebag strap that she knows the icons that represent Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash.

Wait a moment. Let me check the movie transcript...

Maybe Sunny simply chose not to volunteer the information that the star is associated with Twilight? Near the beginning of the movie, when Argyle tells her about Twilight, it's framed as a story. Perhaps she thinks that the story of Twilight Sparkle is just a legend? (Is it just a legend in G5?) That would make sense that Sunny wouldn't bother to explain to Zipp the possible connection between a symbol that represents magic and a long-forgotten mythology/fairy tale. It would make her sound crazy. ...Crazier.


My thoughts on the movie:

"The important thing is that you stand up for what you believe in." That's a nice-sounding moral, but it misses the mark. Sometimes people wholeheartedly believe in things that are hurtful and prejudiced, and when they stand up for those values, bad things happen.

I was put off more than I should have been that the characters' nostrils look so fake and painted-on. They look even more functionless in high-res.

The post-credits scene with the three foals running off to play... was the movie teasing the G5 version of the CMCs?

Overall, I thought the movie was pretty good. Not great, but pretty good. Certainly intriguing, and given that one of its purposes is to set up a TV series, it did that well. Although the emotional/motivational turns weren't always believable (looking at you two especially, Hitch and Queen Haven). The songs were catchy, but the segues into them were more abrupt and jarring than G4 -- the inclusion of songs didn't feel organic. On the plus side, the jokes made me laugh slightly more frequently than Friendship Is Magic.

I was a little disappointed that the movie didn't commit to how exactly G4 connects to G5. It makes me wonder whether the production company wants to deliberately leave it vague or whether they're saving that reveal for a finale. And if so, whether it'll be a season finale or a series finale -- if they're confident that they'll get a season two, then they may hold off on playing their hand for a while.

Okay, here's one more criticism:

Right before the unicorn song, they sit down for tea and Sunny interrupts to keep them focused on the mission and Izzy looks devastated for one second because it was her first time with friends over and they weren't even taking the time to be friends. This never got followed, as it was Sunny who kinda on her own realized that friendship was the real magic. Take 30 seconds to have the others tell Sunny to chill for a moment and get a nice scene and couple of lines as they continue breaking the ice over tea, maybe about newcomer Pipp realizing the nice unicorn lady wasn't about to zap her brains after all.

tl;dr, they set Izzy up for depth as we saw glimpses of more serious topics with her, but exploring these got left behind in the movie's breakneck pace.

I should blog about this myself soon but I'm stuck in a holding pattern until I have Something To Show. Suffice to say I really enjoyed it. But I'm a little surprised that none of the reviews or commentaries I've seen so far have said anything about the line in the unicorn makeover song where Izzy says to Zipp "I bet you eat your young" :trollestia:

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They also said "butts!" It seems they had a bit more leeway than in G4!:rainbowlaugh:

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Heck, less than three minutes into the movie, young Sprout says to Sunny, "It's a boring game. Ooh -- let's play pegasus barbecue instead!" (as Rarity:) "Earth pony burgers!"

They can get away with those kinds of lines in a PG movie. Of note is that Friendship Is Magic is rated TV-Y on Netflix. I wonder whether the New Generation series will be restricted to that or whether they'll allow things to go TV-Y7.

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Hey. G4 had a demagogue non-unicorn villain too. Don't disrespect the sociopath filly.
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Sunny does know it's Twilight's cutie mark, see the sticky notes Argyle put on the map with the M6 cutie marks sketched out. And he misspelled Fluttershy's name.

I do believe they already signed for two seasons at least, but I could be mistaken.

"The important thing is that you stand up for what you believe in." That's a nice-sounding moral, but it misses the mark. Sometimes people wholeheartedly believe in things that are hurtful and prejudiced, and when they stand up for those values, bad things happen.

The movie never says you can't change your mind. And you're not going to get dialogue going if others hide what they think, which means you're not really changing people, or ponies. Besides, there's a difference between what a character says to another and what the movie says to its audience.
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Here's an objective criticism you can leverage towards the movie: they misspelled Twilight's name in the credits.

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What's really poignant is that even after the dust clears, the dumb bastard still wants Mommy to say he done good. He only looked sorry because he got beaten.

a Harry Potter film… which raises some questions, actually. You’d think wizards in a heroic role wouldn’t go over well.

That just means that the Rowling equivalent is an idiot for trying it... which says thing when compared to her current reputation.

Could… could you give the earth ponies something here, guys? A bit of sparkle around the hooves? Anything?

… Ah. I’ll take a teaser of glowing hoofprints.

Worth mentioning that horns and wings are white now with my joke being that it's easier to remember to remove them from ponies who aren't supposed to have them... and I just noticed that the earth ponies all have socks.

Oh man, it just keeps getting less subtle and I love it.

Really? :unsuresweetie: I mean, to each their own, but personally, the movie's sheer contempt for the concept of subtlety was my least favourite part of it.

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