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Impossible Numbers

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying, And this same flower that smiles today, Tomorrow will be dying."

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Progress Update. Well, "Progress", At Any Rate... · 9:48pm September 12th

Blog Number 152: Tick Tock Edition⏰

September 2021. That means it's been seven months since my last fic, and that wasn't exactly a tour de force. Especially combined with the backstage drop in productivity, I don't think "I'm trying to improve my craft before diving back in" is a credible excuse any longer. It's getting frustrating, with the end of year so close. 😟

Moreover, in two months, it'll be the tenth anniversary of my first MLP:FiM experience (i.e. when I first watched the show). I wish I could feel happier about it. 😐

Perspective first: there's no point me denying to despair. I'm not that dense. I've had gallons of joy from my pony experience - watching eps, crafting stories, seeing the site buzz with something juicy and new, or talking to someone who gives me ideas and inspiration - and it did galvanize my writing after an even less productive decade prior. I've gotten some good hits out of it. 😎

That said, looking back at what I've accomplished over the last ten years, I can't find it in me to say I'm satisfied overall with the result. Not slighting individual works here - well, except the juvenilia in the first half and maybe a couple of the later ones I've been itching to delete despite various reasons - but the overall trend? Too many gaps, too many lapses, not enough work accomplished, not enough dreams met. 😠

Compared to my ambitions, the last decade has been slapdash, sloppy, and unforgivably slow. If I could just get something substantial out before the deadline arrives, I could settle for that as a consolation prize, and then just hope the next few years will finally reach the heights I have in mind. At least then, the last decade of development would be retroactively made worthwhile. πŸ€”

As it is... still working on it... πŸ˜’

That's all for now. Impossible Numbers, out.

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