Sep
7th
2021
It's official. Hasbro (or at least ANG's marketing department) spoiled the entire movie. Also I'm gonna ramble about how I know this movie's gonna suck. · 5:15pm Sep 7th, 2021
Don't believe me? Look at this leaked plot I shared in my previous blog:
You know what that means? Apart from a few funny moments, this movie's gonna suck! And I can't wait to riff the Tartarus out of it! 
BTW, I read this list:
https://gizmodo.com/how-to-tell-from-a-trailer-that-a-movie-is-going-to-suc-5910669
And out of those 17 signs, A New Generation ticks at least 5:
- There's a buttload of unfunny jokes - I admit, this one's a bit subjective but, out of all the jokes in all the promotional material we've seen so far, the only one to make me laugh is Maretime Bay's reaction to Izzy's presence.
- The only dialogue is ridiculously cheeseball - Again, also subjective. I've already stated I found Sunny's "I think you'll find I'm average height" line to be corny. Other than that, this movie is about as subtle about its "racism bad" message the same way The Emoji Movie was subtle about it's extremely ironic "be yourself" message (in other words, not that subtle at all).
- The trailer gives away the entire movie - In case this blog post didn't clue you in, when you put all the promotional material together, it gives away the entire plot.
- You've seen five trailers for the same movie, and you've noticed there are only three cool bits, repeated over and over. - I wouldn't say I found any cool bits but I won't deny the promotional material is very repetitive. Speaking of which...
- You hear the same song, or the same weird sound effects, that you've already heard a million times before. - Except for the "Glowin' Up" video, we keep hearing that same sodding song that we don't even know the name to yet!
Would have added the bit with the Pomeranian as a "dog reaction" but ponies screaming would be more accurate. 
Also, there's another list that I have found:
https://www.ranker.com/list/signs-a-movie-will-suck/zack-howe
And here's what boxes the movie ticks:
- Films That Come Out In "Dump Months" Are Risky - While January and February are usually considered "dump months", August and September have been slowly gaining a reputation as dump months, with the movie coming out in the latter.
- A Sequel Without The Original Cast Is Doomed - I get it. It's supposed to be "a new generation" but how is this new if it's retreading the old but with new faces? Actually, I think I answered my own question but why settle for a retread when you can watch the original thing?
- Movies Based On Current Fads Are Usually Cash Grabs - Does wokeness count?
- Watch Out For Titles That Feature Colons - "Oftentimes, sequels that don't feature the original cast employ a colon title to assert difference, as was the case with The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and 300: Rise of an Empire." Yeah, MLP: ANG fits neatly into that category.
- Rumors Of Production Problems Are Almost Always Ominous - Not a production problem, per se, but there was a former employee at Hasbro who revealed the company was trying to shove Critical Race Theory down people's throats. Make of that what you will.
For your information I LOVE Critical Race Theory. So BRAVO on Hasbro for that.
I prefer not being handed any spoilers. But, despite my reluctance and not so good feelings towards this movie, I'm planning on giving it a shot. Mainly because it just seems inevitable that I'd one day see it.
The chance that all the marketing has been an elaborate troll and misdirection to keep potential viewers in the dark before the big reveal that it's going back to G4 seems to be infinitesimal now. Had my hopes pinned on that since the 'show-length fan-made episode' Double Rainboom successfully pulled it off, with Dash ending up in another setting entirely that we never even got a hint of before its release. We can't not watch it, one way or the other, but it's not really an experience I'm looking forward to.