Estee liveblogs The Emoji Movie: tonight (6/10) on the Discord server at 8 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time · 10:13pm Jun 10th, 2021
Let's get the mandatory NSFW clip (language) out of the way first.
...so I just got back from the dollar store...
My shelves have what could charitably be called a small Depressing Films section.
What's in it? Well, for starters, I have Shoah. And nearby? Is a copy of Come And See. This past Tuesday saw Criterion release The Human Condition, which is nine and a half hours of utterly beautiful reasons for why you want to die now.
I did not get that one. Because I couldn't afford it. But I thought about it, because it would fit right in.
...
...y'all wouldn't.
...
...given what just happened, at least one of you is probably thinking about it...
...anyway, I went to the dollar store, because I needed to add one title to that section.
I really did find The Emoji Movie there today. I just didn't buy it, because it was The Emoji Movie, I have a tight budget, and I would like to repeat the fact that it was, and remains, The Emoji Movie.
The monster is in the apartment.
Did I make twenty million dollars just now? Nope. But there was enough tipped that, in my opinion, I do have an obligation to go through with this. So we're doing this. Tonight.
Let's talk about how.
(I knew I had to have at least one reader who enjoyed torture.)
(I may have underestimated the case.)
(Seriously: think about whose work you've been reading.)
First: Here's the link to my Discord server. The viewing will be done in the newest channel: #deadstreaming. As the blog says, that's at 8 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time tonight.
This is essentially going to be a liveblog. I don't have a webcam or microphone: if I did, I just wouldn't use them. I'll be typing up my reactions to the film as I watch it. I've actually done this once before. And did not think to ask for money. Silly me.
However... if I do too much typing, I will miss parts of the film. This likely means I will have to pause the movie every so often in order to record my full thoughts. This is a ninety-one minute film, and I won't be surprised if the viewing takes three hours. As such, I reserve the following right: to speed through the end credits. But I will look for a post-credits scene.
The film comes with a digital copy. (This means Movies Anywhere will soon know my shame. And will be recommending future purchases accordingly) To keep my Blu-Ray drive from dealing with all of the stops and starts, I may have to watch that one. However, it'll be easier to use the physical disc, because then I can overlay that window on the chat whenever I'm not typing. It'll be a gametime decision.
I have temporarily changed my Ko-Fi goal to 'Recovery funds': this will maintain through tomorrow morning. I will also put the Ko-Fi link in the server channel, because oh dear sweet pony gawds this @$#%ing movie. 'Recovery funds' may mean therapy. Or I might start drinking. Heavily. Currently, I have both Coke and Monster speed-chilling in my freezer to help me get through this, so some degree of self-poisoning is guaranteed.
So.
See you tonight, I hope.
Because there is going to be suffering.
Most of it will be mine.
And y'all just love to see it...
Let's see if the enablers show up.
And laugh.
And laugh.
And laugh...
I would like the record to show that I in no way contributed to this.
To be fair, that makes at least as much sense as being the manifestation of a voodoo curse. Which itself may have been an explanation (the sharks with superpowers or the movie? Yes.)
that reminded me of a line in the videogame Portal: "someday we'll look back at this and laugh...and laugh..and laugh...oh, boy."
-the crazy AI GlaDos says this at one point near the end.
5533344. Neither did…. Um…. Moral support doesn’t count, does it?
And you won't put up an Amazon Wishlist?
:perplexed:
Great, just great. Y'all went and broke Estee's brain.
What a conundrum. I can't physically bring myself to actually watch or listen to the movie, but I still want to know Estee's reactions. I'm also apprehensive about enabling someone else's self torture for entertainment/money.
There are two kinds of people in the world. And one of them is the kind that makes a special trip to go out and buy the Emoji Movie on Blu Ray.
5533392 ...because nothing says the highest quality like Blu Ray.
5533431
I’ll hold out for the Criterion edition, myself.
5533524 We'll always have Ferris Bueller's Day Off (35th anniversary, oh God I feel old)
Please forgive me for contributing to the insanity. I promise that I won't send you an Amistad / Schindler's List / Shawshank Redemption gift pack.
Estee needs a palate cleanser...
I suggest Manos: The Hands of Fate
5533577
Calling that a palate cleanser is like saying Ex-Lax will make you poop a little more than usual.