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PresentPerfect


Fanfiction masochist. :B https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect

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Jun
9th
2021

Fic recs, June 9th: Snogwritts edition! · 9:48pm June 9th

Generally cool person B_25 has fallen onto some really hard times and could use some help!

Scribbler's newest reading is Esle Ynopemos's Sleep on It!

So originally, I had a note next to the channel for Quill Scratch that said "Actually need to listen to something". But the only actual fic reading I think he's done is Oroboro's Starlight Glimmer and Sunset Shimmer Are Dead, so I'll have to move on.

To Snogwritts then! He stopped doing fic readings in 2019, but he sure did a lot before then! The List:

Stratocaster's Twilight Hears the Narrator
Alaborn's Applejack's Bar
TheSlorg's If Only in My Dreams
ocalhoun's The Most Annoying Infestation and Undeliverable
Paradigm Shine's The Last Crusade and Crimson
The Quill and Sofa Shop's Fleeting Fancies
BronyWriter's I Spoke to Ms. Smarty Pants Today
MidnightDancer's Paper Tigers
Bad Horse's Trust
Sir Hat's Fighting
Masterweaver's Sunsplit
Pascoite's Cold Front
Aquaman's Language Barrier
FluttershyisMetal's After All
Ezio Auditore's The Meaning of Hearth's Warming
PinkamenaPiePrincess's The Battle of Fort Book

Here's the rest, a combination of very short, typically upbeat, often fluffy stories, and tons of AppleDash. <.< Next up will be five random TTS'd stories, then the audiobook catchup before the next reader edition! And maybe I'll finish this reading contest at some point! :B This is so long, I hit two count milestones!

H: 0 R: 7 C: 14 V: 6 N: 9

A Gift for Trixie by Hopeful_Ink_Hoof
Reading
Genre: Shipping/Light Comedy
With a better understanding of what Hearth's Warming is all about, Starlight takes a present to her best friend.
Well, this was cute. :) Maybe a little overly focused on wrapping paper, but precisely what I would want from a fluffy bit of season 7 Starxie.
Recommended

"You're a Terrible Liar." by YoshiFawful64
Reading
Genre: Shipping Drama
Applejack inadvertently makes a confession.
Right around the time the title gets dropped, this takes a hard swing from light comedy to deep, conflicted drama, and it's about as jarring as you'd think. A list of reasons why AppleDash doesn't work is a good idea, but putting it after a love confession made via Pinkie Sense is just not a great idea. Plus, they fortunately have mutual crushes, and the ending doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Still, if you like AppleDash, you'll likely get a whole lot out of this. It won't waste your time, tonal shift regardless.
Recommended for Shippers

The One Who Got Away by Jay David
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie's attempt to hide from her double goes poorly.
If you ask me, the second Pinkie background gag in Pony Parks and Rec is one of the dumbest things the show ever did. It was just a needlessly complicated callback that raised all sorts of questions the show writers never intended to answer. Meanwhile, I've definitely read other stories about said clone, and they were all considerably better than this one. This really doesn't go beyond the idea of "hey, did you see that second Pinkie in the background of that one shot?" And given that the first joke is a very forced "pony trying to hide does the complete opposite of that" gag, the comedy isn't really worth coming around for.
Not Recommended

Rainbows and Chocolate Milk by Diverse_Flygon
Reading
Genre: Crackshipping
Rainbow Dash and Discord enjoy a day together.
I really wish the author had gone into the details of how these two got together, and what they see in each other, instead of just throwing us at the pairing. That's really what you have to do to sell a ship that even the author admits is rare to nonexistent. Instead, we have a scene of two people doing things that literally anyone who's in an established relationship could be doing. I will say, they're both more or less in character, but that doesn't end up putting enough of a spin on the proceedings to tell me anything about why they're together. Not to mention… Look, I have a lot of hangups about shipping Discord, but even I can see why Fluttercord is popular. Twicord makes sense. But any of Twilight's other friends have so little to do with Discord, so little interaction with him, that you really have to lay some groundwork to convince the reader they would work together, and this story does none of that.
Not Recommended

The Hat by Sollace
Reading
Genre: Sad
Apple Bloom wonders aloud why her sister always wears that hat.
I have to give this story credit. Hatfics are a dime a dozen, and always better than the half-assed non-answer side canon gave us about the Stetson's significance to Applejack. But here, we see a story actually trying to reconcile that and make it meaningful. Granted, it does so by actually making the hat meaningless. It could have been any wearable item, a dress with a pocket or a pair of saddlebags. As AJ explains, it's all about what's inside. And yeah, the backstory is a little "of course things were this tragic", so that's kind of goofy. But kudos to the author for trying to make lemonade out of canon lemons. :)
Recommended for Applejack Fans

Patience by Lucky Seven
Reading
Genre: ScratchTavia
I'm really not sure why the "Octavia's in a coma" framing narrative was here. It has nothing to do with anything. It maybe draws the reader in, but it's never resolved, and provides nothing but the most basic of emotional support. The bulk of the story is actually about how the two of them got together, which — credit — is actually pretty unique, Octavia saving Vinyl from homelessness. But that's really all there is to this, and outside of being a little creative, it doesn't give much for the reader to bite into. Only for hardcore ScratchTavia fans.
Vaguely Recommended

Sisters Forever by RuinQueenOfOblivion
Reading
Genre: Rainbowlove?
Rainbow Dash has been acting strange lately. Is it something to do with her parents?
Worth noting this takes place well before we saw Rainbow's parents, let alone Scootaloo's. Not a knock against it. In fact, if anything, this takes the standard Scootalove formula and turns it on its head to great effect. Not giving anything away (though maybe I just did), but the status of Rainbow's parents is used to add another layer to her relationship with Scootaloo, and the way the ending completely flips the trope around was something I was very pleased to see. The writing may be a little plain, but this is both original and cute as hell.
Recommended

A Break in Apple Bucking Season by RenaissanceBrony
Reading
Genre: Slice of Life
It's raining, and the Apples have been bucking all week. They deserve a break.
This is about the slice of lifest slice of life you could ask for. If you want to read a short, sweet story about the Apple siblings having some bonding time, look no further.
Recommended for Apple Family Fans

I, Sweetie by Crystal Moose
Reading
Genre: AU/Time Travel
Twilight decides to make her assistant a new 'sister'.
I really don't know with this one. At first, I blamed the reader for making a hash of the internal asides. Which he did. But going and reading it myself ultimately did nothing to improve the story's denouement. Like, I'm glad there's a second chapter, added apparently well after the first, because the way the first chapter ends makes zero sense. But the second chapter also makes zero sense, explaining the previous chapter to an extent but then just raising further questions. And it's all thrown together so quickly, so slapdash, that any potential comedy is lost to a maelstrom of confusion over things just happening. So, while the reader definitely did make a hash of things, that wasn't the extent of the problems here.
Not Recommended

Fluttershy Looks for Mr. Turkey by Ephraim Blue
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Fluttershy goes to visit a friend.
This is a weird story, because Fluttershy says she's "dressed like a turkey", but is clearly dressed like Elmer Fudd, which is to say, nothing like a turkey. I'm not sure her explanation really addresses the disparity. And the ending isn't really a punchline? Like, the only thing I found amusing was the stealth Legend of Zelda meme being snuck in, and that's pretty early on. Not much of a comedy, if you ask me.
Vaguely Recommended

Sister for a Few Nights by IceQB
Reading
Genre: Slice of Life
Scootaloo's thoughts keep her up at night.
The writing in this story is very plain. And while the basic diction and short sentences fit a child narrator, do they really fit Scootaloo? More than that, though, I found myself really irked by Scootaloo basically talking to herself as she tries to fall asleep, and in so doing, telling us the story of everything that's been going on. It felt forced and completely unnatural. And unfortunately, that's about all there is to this, so I can't really recommend it.
Not Recommended

Before the Rhyming by Moustache Queen
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Ah yes, the classic desire to explain why Zecora rhymes. Please ignore the fact that this story does not accomplish that (though at least there's implication). But I noticed all those ellipses in the description, so I had a look inside, and… Well, it's not that bad, but it's pretty bad. A lot of sentences feel like they're just thrown in from other sources because that's the kind of thing that would be said in that situation regardless of whether it actually applies to this story or not. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, it fails the Zecora Test. This really just isn't worth anyone's time.
Not Recommended

Am I Pretty? by Nordryd
Reading
Genre: Scootalove
When she's the only one of her friends who didn't get asked to the dance, how else is Scootaloo supposed to feel?
I was all set to pan this story because — and I may be wrong — I've never really felt that Scootaloo cares about 'girly' things like her looks or romance or… y'know, anything Sweetie Belle might be really concerned about as they get older. And I'm sure struggling with femininity and one's appearance is a deal for tomboyish teenage girls, but is Scootaloo going to share in that struggle? Surprisingly, this piece tackles that question head-on, and I was very pleased by the outcome. It's still pretty heteronormative, and there's nothing more to it than bonding with Rainbow Dash, but the first feels nitpicky and the second ain't too bad. So yeah, worth the effort!
Recommended for Scootaloo Fans

Eyes by The Lunar Samurai
Reading
Review #7200!
Genre: Romance
The first thing I was drawn to was her eyes.
This is a very short story about a young Shining Armor falling for Cadence at first sight. Literally, that's all there is to it, but it's got some good characterization for him, and the description of why she was so captivating was executed well.
Recommended for ShineDance Fans

Celestia's Latest Death by Lise
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Twilight was not prepared for this.
This isn't even that dark, but it does have that perfect dark comedy setup of someone dying and another character being all, "Ugh, not this again." It then goes nowhere I expected it to, though in hindsight it makes perfect sense. That long explanation that takes up the second half was honestly pretty clever, so overall, I thought this was a fun read. No wonder it was so popular in 2016!
Recommended

Love After Passing by Timey-Wimey
Reading
Genre: Sad Shipping
In the month since Scootaloo's death, Sweetie Belle hasn't been able to sleep. She's tired of it.
As much as I'm all for stories where Scootaloo dies at the start, if you're going to write about suicide, you need to be able to approach it with a mature hand. This story absolutely fails at that. And how dare Sweetie Belle demand that her sister cover up her suicide? Is that really something she wants Rarity to live with for the rest of her life? This of course doesn't even cover the fact that the intro is nothing but descriptions of characters we're already familiar with, and the story hinges on Sweetie just so happening to write her suicide note on the back of Scootaloo's posthumous love letter to her. Like, seriously, come the fuck on. This was really bad.
Not Recommended

A Lesson Learned by Secret_Shadows
Reading
Genre: Slice of Life
Rainbow Dash just bombed the test that was her last chance to get into the class trip to see the Wonderbolts. Now how will she get to watch her idols perform?
They say you should always have your character want something, and that's certainly a strength of this piece. But that's maybe the last positive thing I have to say about it. This is set in high school, when the image it's based off of looks to put the characters more in middle school or even elementary age. I don't think increasing the age of the characters really gained the story much, especially since Rainbow Dash cries about everything. And like, I could definitely go for "Rainbow Dash was a crybaby when she was a filly", but you'd think by high school, she'd have grown out of it, nor is it ever really explored as a facet of her character. Crying is just her reaction to anything even remotely bad happening to her. The rest is a bunch of coincidences, followed by a very ham-fisted letter to Celestia at the end. This wasn't awful, but I can't say I enjoyed it.
Vaguely Recommended

Vinyl Scratch Drinks Tea by ThisIsMyFateNow
Reading
Genre: Rom-Com
Vinyl is capable of cleaning up, much to Octavia's surprise.
This story is really short, but what's here, I liked. Most of it is Octavia being all "bwuh?" because Vinyl, like, washed her hair, and that's pretty amusing. Vinyl's full name being Vanilla is, in my opinion, hilarious. And if nothing else, thank god it wasn't a coffee fic.
Recommended

On Different Pages by Ellis Bell
Reading
Genre: Shipping/Comedy
Rainbow Dash brings her favorite books to cheer up her marefriend in the hospital.
It's always amazing when a reader finds the one story written by someone who was on the site for a very short time. And it's a shame this author didn't write anything else, though by their sole journal entry, this might actually be someone's alt, so who knows! :O Anyway, this was shockingly funny from start to finish. My only real thought is that I'm not sure the shipping was worth it? I mean, they do spend a decent amount of time talking about their relationship, but most of the humor involves Rainbow Dash being a whiny baby, unable to understand why anyone wouldn't like something she has deemed 'awesome', while Applejack is portrayed as the sensible, mature adult. It just made me wonder why the hell she bothered to put up with Dash, ever. Oh well, call me an AppleDash hater if you must, this is still a good fic.
Recommended

A Lesson from Happiness by Nugget
Reading
Genre: Slice of Life
This isn't terribly substantial, and the way Pinkie is written is not to my taste, but I guess it's all right. Really, my complaint is Pinkie takes the time to introduce herself, even invoking Cutie Mark Chronicles, then tells us how she got her cutie mark. Like… why? This is so short, it did not need both things. But as I said, it's fine.
Recommended for Pinkie Fans

Good Morning by Flutterpriest
Reading
Genre: Sad 2P AiE
You wake up in Fluttershy's cottage, definitely hung over.
Have to say I was surprised by this. It started off like your average "drank too much" Anon fic, then settled into comfortable slice of life, the bread and butter of wish fulfillment. Then it ends by earning that Sad tag, which is amplified by the author's note. So, yeah. Surprising.
Recommended If You Like Anon Fics

Eight Degrees of Nope by lunabrony
Reading with others!
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie agrees to watch one of Fluttershy's animals while she's out of town. She should have checked to see which animal it was first.
The joke's been done, but y'all know I like stories about arachnophobia, and I thought this was hilarious. :) It also makes for an excellent audiobook — Snogwritt's best to date! — being one of those stories that was really made to be read aloud, and on that merit, I can't recommend the reading highly enough. That being said, a few things about the writing bugged me. The comedic pacing is perfect, but there are a couple sections where everything stops so that things can be explained. The story in fact starts off like this, and it really got on my nerves. But I suppose it says something about the rest of it that it could make a bad first impression and then overcome it via solid comedy writing.
Recommended

Prideful Creations by Ash Bark
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Granny Smith has a few things to say about Scootaloo's ramp.
Maybe it's a case of senses of humor not lining up, but I didn't get this one? Like, not only is the comedy paced oddly, but just… Why are these two characters interacting this way? I'd almost say they were out of character, but it really is just more that they would not be doing this, and it's never explained. Like, where's Apple Bloom? She's who'd I'd expect to be present if Granny and Scootaloo are having a conversation, she's their relational go-between. Maybe you weren't supposed to focus on that question, but I did, to the story's detriment. So maybe it's fine, but I didn't like it.
Vaguely Recommended

Twilight vs. Mosquito by DeiStar
Reading
Genre: Twilight Freakout
Twilight's restful sleep is interrupted by an annoying pest.
I have to admit, the moment I saw the Lesson Zero screenshot cover, I knew I wasn't going to like this. :/ And giving it its fair shakes, I still found it annoying. The situation is not inherently funny, nor is Twilight's reaction, because it's just another over-the-top freakout. The only thing I found funny was likely not intended as a joke. The narration has a tendency to repeat itself. By the end, I was legitimately hating the story.
Not Recommended

Mac's Secret Fillyfriend by Grenazers
Reading
Genre: Shipping Comedy
Applejack is determined to find out who Mac sees at night.
I have to give the author this: There was only one possible solution to the central mystery, and yet, thanks to the path the story takes, guessing it ahead of time was not a detriment to enjoying the fic. What was a detriment was the writing, which wasn't awful but definitely smacks of an author's first attempt. Which, sadly this is not. I mean, they took the time to explain to us who Applejack is, that's what I'm talking about. Well, at least it's not awful.
Recommended If You Don't Need Good Writing to Enjoy a Story

Diamond Tiara vs. the Claw Machine by Bootsy Slickmane
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Bored shopping with her father, Diamond Tiara finds something to keep herself occupied.
I was going to complain that Diamond Tiara didn't know what a claw machine was, then I realized they shouldn't really even exist in Equestria, so that's moot. That said, the story assumes the reader has never even so much as sniffed the description of a claw machine before, walking us through every aspect of its function in painstaking detail. I would say this might be useful for young kids if you, uh, wanted to teach them what a claw machine was? Except that Diamond Tiara is hardly a role model, and this was a missed opportunity for a cautionary tale since, spoilers, she gets what she wants in the end. I just don't know who this was written for.
Vaguely Recommended

A Hearth's Warming to Remember by Raidah
Reading
Genre: Shipping/Medical Drama
It's Hearth's Warming, and Rainbow Dash is in love.
So imagine you're setting out to write an AppleDash fic set in winter. Do you:

  1. Have Rainbow Dash buy AJ a gift and then, with or without drama, confess her feelings, OR
  2. Have AJ suffer an accident on the farm, which Rainbow Dash can save her from (because she just so happened to basically be stalking her), confess to her in the hospital, and then afterward find out she has hypothermia and is dying because Nurse Redheart can't be bothered to get off her ass and do something about it.

I was expecting #1. I got #2. And while I'm not saying #1 would have been an automatically better story, it would have made significantly more sense and had far fewer hospital procedure errors. What is with new authors and trying to write hospital drama?
Not Recommended

A Very Pinkie Hearth's Warming by Lucky Dreams
Reading
Genre: Christmas Special
It's too late for Sweetie to buy a present for her sister. But maybe Pinkie Pie can help.
I have to be honest: the first couple lines of this story were disappointingly plain. It's the kind of character introduction you expect from someone who hasn't written a ponyfic before. Thankfully, the writing picks up immediately thereafter, and in hindsight, that introduction does seem to fit the whimsical storytelling style. Because, unlike two stories back, this would be perfect to read to a younger child, and I suspect that's entirely the point. It's lyrical and feel-good, and it was just nice to be reminded what enjoying reading feels like. :)
Recommended

Her Rainbow Mane by Herrpface
Reading
Genre: Shipping/Trollfic
Applejack hopes revealing her darkest secret won't make Rainbow Dash think less of her.
The comments (and ratings) clued me in to potential shenanigans happening at the end of this story, but make no mistake: knowing this is a TheOnly-style trollfic, knowing that something crazy is coming by the end of the story, will not prepare you for exactly what you're in for. I spent a solid 5 minutes laughing afterward. :D There are some strange word choices in the beginning, but this is otherwise one of the funniest things I've read in recent memory.
Recommended

Don't Laugh at Me! by Starlitomega
Reading
Genre: Shipping Drama
Today's the day. Rainbow is going to tell Applejack how she feels.
This was cute and fun. Honestly a pretty standard shipfic, all things considered, but it goes through its motions competently. I liked the little aside about AJ saying Rainbow has the best Element, that's not something I've ever seen before. I also like their idea of an ideal date. :)
Recommended for Shippers

The Ketchup Prank by SirNinji
Reading
Genre: Comedy
Spike gets revenge on Pinkie and Dash for their pranking.
So on the one hand, Pinkie and Rainbow's idea of a prank is extremely destructive, and shown multiple times to be pulled in order to make other ponies upset. On the other hand, Spike's idea of a revenge prank is something you really should not be doing as a 'prank'. And as two wrongs don't make a right, no one wins in this story and everything is terrible. I can at least say I was pleased to see Pinkie immediately take responsibility when their 'prank' on Spike appears to go horribly wrong, but that's not enough to save this. If the writing had been better, I might have found something to enjoy, but it was not.
Not Recommended

Nap by AJtheRaven
Reading
Genre: Shipping Comedy
Rainbow Dash has been feeling like she hasn't seen her marefriend in a while.
The more I think about this piece, the more I realize the only problems with it are in the packaging. The description, for instance, gives away the punchline, to the extent that the final scene doesn't even need to be there. And the chapter title promises fluff, but if you come looking for snuggly nap times, you're probably going to be disappointed. This sets itself up so it can get to its punchline, and that's perfectly fine, it's just not what's been advertised. Still, it's cute fun, and I actually liked it.
Recommended for Shippers

Needing and Getting by MidnightDancer
Reading
Genre: Sad Rarijack
Applejack's not going to just sit around and wait for Rarity to come back. But she still needs her.
Is "Sad Rarijack" redundant? :V Here's an object lesson in why it's weird to assume Rarity has a last name: I thought this was Appledash for a hot minute because of the initials carved in the tree. :B I don't really have any complaints, though. I'm always up for AJ pining over Rarity, and the place she goes to for succor was surprising.
Recommended for Shippers

Minuette's Visitor by StrawberryGamer
Reading
Genre: Fandom Memes
Minuette wakes up to a problem that she, unfortunately, needs Lyra's help to solve.
Boy was this a blast from the past. All sorts of things I haven't seen in ages. (Like Berrygate shipping???) And I loved watching Lyra be a gremlin around someone other than Bon-Bon for a change. The whole opening scene was great. That said, this is fairly unfocused, constantly being distracted by asides that aren't funny enough to really warrant the diversion. And there's basically no plot, or at least no real ending, since it's just an excuse to fling memes around. But hey, if you're nostalgic for old memes, why not give it a try?
Recommended for Laughs

Little Liar on the Prairie by Sherlocked-Dawn
Reading
Genre: Humanized AppleDash
Rainbow can't quite admit why she likes coming over to Applejack's.
This was hard to listen to because Snogwritts changed out all the human words for pony ones, which makes it make no sense, but that's on him, not the author. No, what the author has to answer for is the dialogue, which is very, "I'm going to mention this thing which you already know for the benefit of the reader." It's clunky and unrealistic, and it really dragged the story down considering there's not much else to it. If you were looking for AppleDash fluff, this will provide, but not super well.
Vaguely Recommended

Kept from Mercy by Odina Rose
Reading
300th Review of 2021!
Genre: Cozy Problem
Celestia doesn't send fillies to Tartarus without a good reason.
I really appreciate that this made an effort to reconcile Cozy Glow's punishment with the characterizations we understand of Celestia and Luna as wise, caring rulers. Instead of, like, everyone else, who went, "This means Celestia's evil!" and thought no more of it. That said, it does leave something to be desired, at least in terms of Cozy's backstory, which the author decided to tackle by not giving her one. That could be interesting in the right context, but this is not it. Also some of the dialogue felt stilted. I can at least say I agree with the core idea here if nothing else.
Recommended for Celestia Fans

Report PresentPerfect · 206 views · #fic reviews
Comments ( 13 )

Glad you liked the fic, and yeah I basically wrote it for the reason you mentioned to turn the old concept on its head, I thought it would be cute.

Thank you for your kind words. Happy you laughed so much. :twilightsmile:

iisaw #3 · June 10th · · ·

A couple more to go on the list!

And thanks for mentioning that Starlight Glimmer and Sunset Shimmer Are Dead has an audio version! it's a good story, but it's even better to listen to!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

5532714
oh cool :D I did indeed like it!

5532774 I tend to favor longer epic adventure stories, but I've got some good one shots too.

It warms my cockles to know someone is still enjoying my older fics. :heart:

I'm glad you at least found some enjoyment in my little practice one-shot. I'm actually working on a sequel of sorts right now, with a bit more of an actual plot. Minuette and the others are pretty fun to write. :twilightsmile:

fluffy bit of season 7 Starxie.

Note: Write a g4/g5 crossover called Starxie and Hitch

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

5533307
haha, do it :D

In regards to A Lesson Learned, I wrote that forever ago! Haha, I've considered re-writing that a few times over the years, it was one of my first fics, gotta start somewhere though haha.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

5533588
Everyone does, and so long as you keep going, that's what matters! :)

I can see you didn't really like my story, which is fine. I just wanted to point out that it's a 1,000 word slice of life, feel good fic, not a 45 chapter epic battle fic.
You called it clunky and unrealistic, but it's literally about 2 chicks watching tv, eating ice cream and talking. Pretty realistic (in the real world at least).
Anyways, thanks for the review I guess.

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