Postal Dropbox Adventures: Estee Politely Requests Postcards, plus first (and last?) unboxing · 4:34pm Jun 7th, 2021
So before we start into this: anyone who needs the dropbox address can find it through my Discord server, where it's permanently pinned to the top of the #p-o-unboxing channel. If you genuinely can't get into Discord and need the address, please contact me via site PM and I'll provide it directly.
If I wind up writing more of these blogs, that first paragraph will be kind of like leading off an episode with a recurring saga cell. Except a lot more boring.
"Postcards?" the imaginary you in my head asks. "Seriously?"
Very much so.
One of the things about paying for a dropbox quickly turns into 'must justify its existence'. And it's nice to receive a little note in the mail. Physical tokens take a touch of effort. They mean someone was thinking about you. Unexpected sights in the dropbox can make my day, and y'all? Are scattered across the planet.
I like postcards. I have postcards in a drawer which I got when I was six. They are going nowhere until I do.
(It just occurred to me that some of you might want to see them. Or none. In any case, I won't show any unless there's a request.)
So I am politely asking: if some of you care to do so... please send me one? You can sign it with your FIMFic name, or pull a me and do so from an undisclosed location while having someone else mail it for you. But this is a worldwide group, and... it would just be fun to see some of you check in.
How about a postcard?
(Considers age spread of readership.)
A postcard is a physical, paper rectangle with a scenic picture (or signature image for the area) on one side and space to write on the back. You can find them in tourist locations, some post offices, many supermarkets, the majority of bookstores, and other places. It is sent with a stamp, and can often travel at a cheap rate.
(Reconsiders.)
A stamp is something you purchase to apply onto a physical mailing, which allows it access to the postal system. Some people like to collect them. A few even mail such things to themselves on sealed envelopes, to get proof of sending.
(It's 2021.)
...I'm not going to explain what an envelope is. Your small Amazon packages are being shipped in something.
Over the last few days, I've been wondering if this was going to set a trend. One FIMFic person creates a dropbox, and then others follow. But then I realized that I have never created any trend on this site, most of you have probably had dropboxes for years and just didn't bother telling me, and I'm usually way behind on the site news to start with.
And... even if I am slightly ahead on this (for FIMFic alone, because YouTubers do this all the time)... dropboxes can be lonely things.
I'd hope that anyone else opening one would have an easier time of it: my circumstances weren't unique, but they were annoying. The trouble of getting a dropbox established isn't automatic. But the feeling of looking through the front door glass in the wall of postal portals, and seeing that yours is empty... that would be just about universal.
I get that with my private box (my own name: the receiving point for when I'm afraid to have anything sitting next to the building), except that the door is metal and I have to open it to feel like I wasted the trip. But I've been told the FIMFic dropbox has a glass door. So there's going to be times when my pickup party glances and walks away.
It may sit empty for a while now, and to be open about it? That's part of why I asked (politely) for postcards. Also because postcards are cheap. They're just about the cheapest things you can mail. Some areas have postcard stamps, and they're less than first-class.
It wasn't empty this time.
Six people sent me things. Two envelopes, four boxes.
I opened them yesterday...
Before we go any further, I think I need to establish a few things.
I generally react to gifts with guilt. (Can they afford it? What did I do that this should have come my way? If something bad happens, they're going to wish they still had that money...) I'm hardwired for this, and there are multiple people who can tell you that when I'm treated to dinner, my first instinct is to go Fluttershy and order the cheapest thing on the menu so as to be less of a burden. I can be just about as bad with new Patreon pledges and Ko-Fi tips. Less so with the latter these days, as that goes to Harwick. (Also, payment for the second book cover is now tip-assembled.) But still... there's this near-automatic moment of feeling like something's gone wrong.
I am apologizing for that in advance. I've spend a lifetime in trying to get rid of it. And I do appreciate receiving things: there aren't many people who don't. I love seeing a dropbox with so much as a postcard in it. And there may never be a result like this again.
(I also asked for permission to post pictures, from everyone I could reach. If it's refused or rescinded, I will delete appropriately.)
But...
...let's talk about common sense.
Postage is expensive, and it's getting worse by the year. If you're thinking about shipping a package and it isn't a crisis, deadline, or perishable item, look for the cheapest, slowest travel rate. The box is only going to be checked a couple of times a month to start with. (Something I may have to reconsider, because apparently this first period was long enough that two things were nearly returned to their senders.) If it's a book or any form of media (including music and movies), check to see if your area has a fourth-class rate: this is sometimes known as Media Mail. It's less expensive and eventually, it gets there.
Same thing for international rates. If it goes by ship and takes two months to get here? Then it went by ship and took two months. At least you didn't bankrupt yourself to send it.
(If you are riding on a corporate mailing account which you are not paying for, consider how your employer would feel about your being caught.)
There is no Amazon wish list. (We talked about that. It feels egotistical, and how would I even set it up?) However, as there is a dropbox address, someone buying off Amazon can have a package shipped directly to it. I am mentioning this because I saw what some of the postage costs were. It's printed on the label, y'know.
This is not a contest. There is no oneupmanship in play. ('Oneupponyship' may be the most awkward word I've ever written.) Something small, which didn't cost anything, sent with caring... or something made by hand... that matters. Some people might pay more, or never send anything at all because that's the budget and a fanfic writer should be your last priority on the planet. Different readers, different concepts of mad money. But you're not trying to top anyone. You shouldn't. Don't worry: I promise to feel just about equally guilty about all of it.
Holiday cards are fine, if we make it to your particular holiday. Also, pictures of pets. Love 'em.
Please think about what you can afford, and then think about it six or twelve more times. I am your last priority. Period. This includes 'Can I afford this postcard?' None of you are billionaires and if you are? You saw the Patreon and Ko-Fi links above. But you all have your own lives. Some have spouses. SOs. Kids. Grandkids... and they all come first.
Got it?
Good.
Some of you were probably lying when you said 'Got it.'
Others may be planning to send armor.
We have running gags.
Thankfully, armor is too heavy to get through a normal postal shipment. Let's see what other running gags this readership might set up in the mailings.
We've already got two...
Yesterday in the #p-o-unboxing channel was a live opening typefest, complete with blind reaches into the boxes and a three-hour interruption because my area is going through a heatwave: hello, blackout.
And yes, we have a running gag already, because everyone knows I get foreign coins all the time. (I even got a story out of it.) Sure enough, just as I was expecting, someone sent me some of their own global fiscal debris.
(Of course, if you're not in America, your debris may be our currency.)
(We could trade...)
Yesterday was surprises, guilt, and a few tears.
I took pictures. Most of them went to my Twitter, because I have to store images somewhere. (This stopped after the blackout, but I only had one box to go. I was afraid of losing power twice, but... I was down to one box, and had already photographed the main thing in it. I can catch up on those if it's requested.)
With one exception, I will not identify the senders. (They are free to ID themselves in the Comments.) There's one case where I genuinely don't know who the sender was, as they posted under an Etsy name. And I got some private notes and letters with the envelopes and boxes: those will remain so.
Let's start with the Etsy envelope. I'm going in the actual opening order. And in advance, once again because most of you were in the channel (or can see what I said there if you enter the Discord)... thank you all.
(The guilt will now renew.)
First picture...
...yes, the candy was in there too. It's blue raspberry. I'm scared. Mostly because it's blue raspberry, which is frequently A Flavor Which Should Not Be. But the butterfly pin? As the sender said, it's as close to my avatar as could be reached. Kind of hard to render blacklight in metal, especially for a portable UV source.
It's beautiful. It was a kind thought, rendered into solidity. It's appreciated as much as everyone else in this blog. (This is not a contest.)
Totally afraid to try wearing it in public...
Second envelope.
I spent the caregiving years in a dark emotional place which represented a world with no hope, no escape, and no chance of things ever getting any better. Plus, y'know, I'm old-school World Of Darkness. The last Wraith player, in the most depressive tabletop setting ever conceived.
Apparently this meant the sender felt I could survive this particular classic of classics.
Laugh all you like. I know how it ends...
I opened the first box from the bottom, because that was where the tape was thinnest. There were a number of flat pieces of heavy paper there, and that established the new tradition of reaching in blind. Lift the paper without removing it, then put a hand in without looking and... see what I could feel.
I thought the touched object was familiar in size and shape. When I felt the hinge, I was sure I knew what it was. A little tin for mints. The sort of thing you get from the classier breed of candy shop.
And I was right. That's exactly what it was.
It's just that...
*tearing up again*
...yeah.
('...yeah' can suffice for a few seconds.)
It had a few things in it.
So that gives you the sender. Possibly also the person to contact if you want one. (Should I tag this blog for DELWMG?)
...does this mean we have merch?
Also in the box:
So there's the first foreign coin shipment, among other things. Anyone want to try and identify the countries?
Better picture on Rarity:
(You have learned a horrible secret about me today. My TV is LG.)
We had a Fluttershy pez dispenser, and an unpainted miniature for her. (I didn't take pictures of everything, and just linked a few into the server when Google gave me the generics. If I neglect to mention something, that's part of why. Also tired. And heatwave. Major heatwave.)
Then there was a puzzle box.
Fortunately, there was a guide image on the front.
And those papers at the bottom?
Oh, and there was a mousepad.
...seriously: does this mean there's merch? Because this looks sort of like merch...
I had to take a recovery period after finishing each opening. Emotional drain.
I had to take one immediately after starting this box.
Planning vengeance took priority.
Welcome to my craplist. You know who you are. Even more to the point, I know who you are. And y'know the really fun part? I now know where you live. Did I ever mention that writers are the world's only professional specialists in revenge?
(This is another running server joke: for any equation in which Horsefame can be assigned a value, Horsefame=0. 'Stand in any convention line you like, at the back.')
And yes, I have told the sender this directly. They knew what they were doing.
They then tried to save themselves.
Of course, now they may be killed first by all of those who reject the idea that Trixie is best pony. Wars have been started over less.
(The catalog? Think of the classic full-page comic book ads for catalogs which existed only to scam you. The cardboard box submarine. X-ray glasses which fogged the outlines of anything you cared to look at. Skeletons made of paper. Now make it all real and add Science. Interesting read.)
So the revenge should include a hot iron...
I now have two copies for one of these! KILL!
(Look. My BronyCon experience was three and a half days of misery and cowardice. But you'd better believe I hit the bookstore.)
Perhaps ponies shall calm me. Along with the sender implying they're worried about my health.
...sort of?
Mask is double-sided, BTW.
...maybe it's pre-infected.
We were talking about that in the server. How in today's world, posting an address is taking a risk, because some people are nuts. For example, there's stuff like ricin. And if you can extract ricin, and you're mailing it to me, then dear gawds, are your priorities screwed up. Because you could kill anyone in the world, and you went after me. Take your little list and start shuffling the order.
But if the mask is covid-positive...
Sending a revenge cutoff before I could seek mine.
Clever...
Also, I'm vaxxed. Start running.
One item in the third box, and...
...remember what I was just saying about risk?
This was the Amazon shipment. Because somehow, the server decided that I was lacking a certain something in my cooking life, and one person acted upon it.
(Please review what I said about spending. Several times.)
I don't have a pressure cooker.
It came up at one point. Innocently. I didn't ask for one, or talk about getting one. I just said that I make my rice in a small saucepot with a lid. (I used to have a hotpot, but... it was a flea market salvage: the electronics broke down in less than a year.) So a decision was made. That after a lifetime without a pressure cooker, getting by perfectly well without one, it was something I clearly needed to have.
And I should experiment with this one.
And I'm not going to send it back, or reject it, or toss it away.
And I am as grateful for this as everything else.
But this is my readership.
And my readership can be a little...
...let's go back to '...yeah.'
...
...it's going to Force-choke me, isn't it?
Okay. Last box.
(Go back to what I said about spending...)
I want to blame Fleur. So much. Because in a recent chapter for Anchor Foal...
...there was a line about bugout bags.
Right. This is a bugout bag. Prepacked for all of your bugout needs, for when you need to run for the border and the side pocket? That's for a weapon. Or a passport. Depends on the level of bugout. So I reloaded it after looking at the interior, because a bugout bag should stay packed.
(I am grateful. I am riddled with guilt. I want everyone to review that 'spending' bit one more time.)
Of course, it's a bag assembled by a FIMFic denizen, so this was the first thing in it.
The Seapony Truthers strike again!
(I have Seapony Truthers.)
(...no, really. There are those who believe that having everypony in the 'verse saying that seaponies don't exist means I'm covering something up.)
(...this is my readership.)
Beyond that? As said, this is where I stopped taking pictures, because blackout interruption and I was afraid of running the tablet down. Which may be why the bugout bag contained two power banks.
Interesting timing.
(I have a power bank, but it was made for the Kindle. On the current tablet, it holds the charge level just about steady for an hour, and then it's gone. And I'm waiting on a new one, but... it's a power bank I backed on Kickstarter. It's gonna be a while.)
Also a pair of first aid kits (which I did need), mandatory roll of duct tape, a murder flashlight -- any flashlight weighted to crack a skull and the illumination is more or less incidental -- steel thermos, water purification tablets because oh, that taste of iodine! -- oh, they're claiming to have finally gotten rid of that -- two small package-opening knives, a portable speaker and a very small music player because my enemies must be able to hear where I am, and small headphones because maybe they don't. Spare blades for the knives. Dungeon crawl equipment: firestarter cubes and ten meters of rope. And one more running joke, which we'll get to in a minute.
{Inner Snowflake}...yeah.{/it's a useful word, isn't it?}
So as bugout bags go, this is a Head For The Hills version, along with being designed for another blackout. And when I confronted the sender on the probable cost, the defense? Was that I had no way to prove that all of this wasn't just lying around their garage.
I am grateful.
(I really am.)
And riddled with guilt.
(Understatement.)
And all of the above.
And y'all need to get some better lies, or we're potentially gonna have another running gag...
So that was the lot. Except for one small last thing in the bugout bag. Because we all know that I collect coins, in the sense of 'There's a penny over there. I'm gonna go collect that.' Putting coins in a jar is how I save up for big purchases, and... I've been thinking about trying for something huge.
I have a passport now.
I still haven't heard from Medicaid's Estate Recovery division.
I don't know if my mother's lawsuit will ever be settled. Or formally started, which can't happen until after ER wraps up. There's a two-year deadline for launching, starting from the time of the accident. Nearly six months have passed.
I want to go home...
...back to the bag.
I pick up lost coins and save all of the ones I acquire. In any month when I put five posts onto Patreon, I get a few rolls: long-term savings. And I look at those coins, because the art can be interesting and besides, you never know when someone tried to sneak a Canadian quarter into the mix.
This happens.
A lot.
I have about eighty of them.
But when it comes to American quarters...
...it's a running gag of the server. I went for a walk to think about the next story. The next chapter. And here's how much fresh money I came back with. A few cents here, a few more there. Save and accumulate. The blackout was especially handy yesterday, because I was scouting the edges of the dead zone in 93F heat and gathering quarters. (The apartment went over 100F in a hurry and I had to get outside so as to, y'know, not die. Or at least, not die quite that quickly.)
It's been months since that one U.S. Mint release. Y'know what I still haven't seen? When everyone else seems to be locating them?
...
...well, now I have.
Thankee. I mean it. To all of you. Those who sent, those who might mail postcards, and those who just read and silently judge -- well, most of you on that last one. But hey, those still count for blog views. Or something. (Some say hate is love with its back turned. I say that's just to let hate pull out the knife with privacy.)
Next quarter up: Washington Crossing The Delaware. Released 4/5/21. No local finds yet. Let my personal hunt resume.
And... if y'all are willing... let the postcards flow.
Hey, I wasn't sure which of my books you had, and I had extras, so... (Besides, you are horse-famous) The mask is made by my wife and I don't think it's ever been worn (since it pulled my ears something fierce because of my big head) but I'd still wash it first. I think it just happened to be in the box when I was packing. The iron-ons are from my mother's vast collection, the stickers are a whim purchase (there's hundreds of them in there so you can sticker everything you want and most of the things you don't want), and the little MLP figurines are because I looked at the full sized ones and went "Oh, no. Not buying even to give away."
Whoever sent you the pressure cooker, that's genius. I use mine all the time. Potatoes and hard boiled eggs practically peel themselves, and it cooks boneless chicken breasts so tender they want to fall apart. You can even cheat and use chicken breasts and potatoes at the same time, then use the leftover water to make gravy.
Oh, and Harwick's gifts are awesome!
I was the one who sent the DVDs, in case anyone was wondering. I swear I wasn't going for tonal consistency with Estee's life of late; I just thought they'd enjoy the series. (Also, it seemed like a better option than the few pony-related items I could find.)
Also, upon some consideration, I actually did think of somewhere nearby where I can... probably find postcards. (It's a college town. It should just be a matter of tracking down a gift shop.) I'll see what I can do there.
look, you said yourself that you were going to feel guilty about anything i sent no mater what i said or did, and if half the discord telling you that you deserve nice things wasn't enough then we clearly aren't going to change your mind. as such what i may or may not have spent is kinda irrelevant isn't it
Physical items? I'm the worst at coming up with gift ideas.
But postcards? I know plenty of places to get them and like sending mail, expect one eventually!
Oh, I love postcards
You're definitely getting a few. My friends often send me postcards from various places, like Netherlands:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/234755966950834176/851523885039353906/IMG_20210607_201039639_HDR.jpg
Bratislava:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/234755966950834176/851523942892175390/IMG_20210607_201029168_HDR.jpg
New York City:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/234755966950834176/851524005310758932/IMG_20210607_201022238_HDR.jpg
Hell:
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/234755966950834176/851524092543893554/IMG_20210607_201006275.jpg
(Hell is actually in Norway, which explains why there are so many black metal bands there; also, Dan Brown is not even the most peculiar author on this bookshelf).
Just because I have an elaborate theory that mathematically proves that seaponies have to exist for Equestrian magic to make any kind of logical sense, that doesn't make me a truther!
Estee, you might consider signing up for USPS Informed Delivery for your P.O. box. That way, USPS emails you pictures of incoming mail a day or two before delivery, or alerts you when a new package is on the way so you can keep an eye out for it. It’s free.
I signed up for it for my home mailbox since my city has had a rash of mailbox break-ins (at one incident, the entire steel cluster of mailboxes that was bolted to the sidewalk was stolen from a neighborhood near mine!)
I just checked and it looks like it is available for P.O. Box addresses as well.
5531385 They stole an entire cluster of bolted-down mailboxes? (Wonders to self how long it will take to show up in an Estee story)
It doesn’t count until there is an acronym.
Seapony
Truth
Advocates and
Believers
There you go. Join STAB today!
Has Estee threatened to STAB you yet?
I’m guessing I just made the shitlist...
"Don't be silly, Bob, vampires don't exist!" (They do exist and you only wished they were angsty, sparkling emo boys.)
"There is no war in Ba Sing Se." (Oh, yes there is...)
"I'LL BE HERE WHENEVER YOU'RE READY." (When the campaign master villain is making you that kind of offer...)
Beware of where you foreshadow.
You might not like what the shadows illuminate.
Your call is important to us. Not important enough for us to answer it, but important enough to put you on hold while we repeat this in Spanish.
5531421
Yes. Everyone on the neighborhood app was scratching their heads over that one, too.
I am very interested to continue seeing blogs like this. :D
If your postoffice box was anything like mine there would always be something in the box: junk mail
. I'm glad your experience isn't like mine thus far… The postal service employee who grudgingly rented me the box made a brief cameo in one of my recent stories.
If I can snag an interesting postcard from this area I'll send it your way
!
5531298
Bonus points if we get a Fridge Episode out of this.
Thank you, those who send things in!
Re: postage costs:
Keep in mind that if the purchaser/sender has Amazon Prime, then just because the box or envelope says the postage cost that much doesn't necessarily mean the purchaser actually paid that much to have it shipped. If they have an Amazon Visa card, they may not even have paid for the product itself, as such; they might just as easily have had a surplus of "purchase points" to use up.
(Well, okay, technically, we "paid" for it in the sense of having paid for the Prime account in the first place, and I'm sure Amazon has some arcane formula to factor the cost of all that "free" shipping and "points" into their retail pricing somehow, but you know what I mean.)