My Personalities · 4:02am Mar 19th, 2021
Okay here’s my past, and present personalities:
*Past Personality: Blunt, aggressive, mean, sarcastic, depressed, emotionless, dangerous, bored, annoyed, bitter, alone, hurt/pained, emo, dull.
* Younger Personality: Happy, energetic, sparky, playful, cheerful, great singer and dancer, friendly, helpful, befriended easily, loveable.
*Present Personality: Emo, depressed, sarcastic, bitter, hurt/pained, dull, blunt, aggressive, revenge, avenge, emotionless, and I use vulgar words sometimes, dark.
* 4 Facts About Me When Younger*
1: I was in a school bus accident.
2: I had over 50 friends.
3: My hair was down to the middle of my back.
4: I left my school in the middle of 1st grade.
*When and Why My Present Personality Started*:
My friends abandoned me. It started when I was either 7 or 8 years old. I started to keep to myself and my family noticed. They asked if I was okay and I said yeah when y inside’s were killing me. They kept asking me and I said the same thing,”Yeah I’m fine.” Then I went from bad to worse as I shut everyone out of my life. I felt... Darkness taking over me. I was filled with pain, sorrow, misery, guilt and depression. It got to the point to where I completely shut everyone out forever. At age 10/11 there wasn’t much change in me. I had a cold heart with no signs of love anywhere. My mom said that I wasn’t myself anymore. Age 12/13 I became bitter. From my previous ages I became much worse. My anger issues were bad. I have trouble controlling my temper. I pretend to be happy for my family’’s sake. I used to be so full of life and happiness. Now I’m always unhappy, dull, basically a shell of myself. I developed a love for weapons including guns, dynamite, grenades, glass etc. I also love to touch fire.
I... can somewhat relate. I have (or had?) a friend named Mya Barone. We exchanged numbers, but every time I tried calling her, it would go straight to voicemail. I initially thought she was dead (a morbid thought, I know, but we're in the middle of a global pandemic), but after hearing she was alive, I was both relieved and somewhat... angry. I'm not emo (except for the fact that I sometimes listen to heavy metal music to gain inspiration for my upcoming songs [I'm a singer/songwriter]), but if friends abandon you when times get tough... are they really your friends?
No they’re not. After my ‘friends’ abandoned me I decided to be alone for life.
5478630
Well... I'm someone who would never abandon their friends.
5478632
Really? I never abandoned them before, so why’d they abandon me when times got tough? And it was all for popularity in the school!
5478633
What?! Popularity?!
5478635
Yeah pretty much.
5478663
Words cannot describe the anger flowing through my veins right now.
5478667
Huh? What do you mean?
5478717
Someone abandoning you because of popularity makes me sick.
5478725
Oh well, I’ve been dealing with it for years so I’m used to it. When I made a new friend after my other ones abandoned me it happened again. In total it happened to me 3 times I think.
5478730
Dang.
5478732
yeah. i gave up on having friends if that happens.