Epic Rap Battles of Equestria: Thorax Glyder v.s Pharynx Elytron · 1:21am Mar 9th, 2021
“Welcome all to another Epic! Rap! Battle! Of! Equestriaaaa! Today we have Pharynx Elytrooon verses Thorax Glydeeer!”
“I still don’t know how you two talked me into doing this again.”
“Because you’d win any kind of physical fight.”
“And this is more fun! Okay, let’s start!”
“Ugh…”
“U-Uh, okay, Phar, you want to start?”
“This was your idea! Ugh… but fine.”
“In three… two… begin!”
So, here we are, about to begin
Come on baby bro, don’t you know I’ll win?
I’ve always been better, ever since we were grubs
And everything you do you always flub
W-Well, that’s different, I’m sure this will work
A-And you know Phar, you’re being kind of a… a jerk!
You never act like this, even when you weren’t reformed
What’s gotten into you? I’m concerned
Really Thorax? How stupid can you be?
It’s all part of the show, don’t you see?
We put on an act and pretend we hate each other
Why don’t you try? Go on, brother
“I-I…”
Oh fine, because I love you-to some degree
I’ll keep going and show you how it should be
But I’m warning you, if you make me cross the line,
Well then, I’ll stop if you give me a sign
Now, the real fun begins
Brother, now you’re one of the kings
And honestly, I couldn’t care less
You’ll always be little brother, despite your success
You’re still my baby brother, the wimp
Always the nursery’s shrimp
Couldn’t pass a class if your life depended
Which, if I remember right, it often did
Protecting you was a full-time job
Always defending you from a bully mob
Your lucky it didn’t slow my ascencion in rank
Otherwise I’d have had to kick your flank
“T-That’s enough Pharynx!”
“Oh? So you’re ready to fight back then?”
“How’s this for an answer?”
You weren’t so great yourself you know
Putting me down, “Thorax, you’re too slow!”
“Thorax, be better!” “Thorax, keep up!”
“Thorax, make the jump!”
Hold on, I did those things to protect you
Sure I made you cry but you pulled through!
If you hadn’t shaped up you would’ve been killed
So excuse me if some tears had to be spilled
That’s no excuse, you know it’s not!
You seem to have forgot,
You were always too rough!
Because of you I grew up thinking I’d never be enough
It wasn’t my intention, you know that
I’m sorry but I’m just better at combat
Than I am at talking about how I feel
I’ve always been that way, heart of steel
A steel shield, like you’ve already been told
It’s just covering a heart of gold
I know deep down what you really are
Pharynx, you’ve come so far
That may be so, to you at least
But I know to others I’m still a beast
I’ve already proved them right,
I’m the reason you left us that night!
You may have outcasted me like all the others
But you never drove me away, brother
I loved and missed you still
I never blamed you for crushing my will
How could you say that like it’s the clearest
Look what I did as a kid, I broke your spirit
I couldn’t even teach you to fight
I never did anything right
Come brother, you’re not that dumb
No matter the opinions of some
You did everything for a reason
You were always the best at leading
“Leading? What does that have to do with-”
You led me to become who I am today
You guided me, even in the smallest way
Without you pushing me who knows where we’d be?
I’m grateful that no matter what you stayed with me
I-you’re not doing this right you know!
Each line is supposed to be a blow
You need to insult me but all you’ve done
Is encourage me to finish what I’ve begun
Because I love you, it’s not hard to understand
All my life I’ve followed your every command
But now it’s my turn to show you the way
You may be older but I still have something to say
Fine then, go ahead, take your shot
Go on, give me all you’ve got
You have countless things you could call me out for
I’m ready, I’m waiting, tell me more
All my life I’ve struggled
Tried to blend in and stumbled
I was never going to be one of the old kind
And yet you wouldn’t change your mind
It was all because of you
After all you put me through
Shoved and pushed me away
I only have one thing to say
Go on then, I can take it!
Don’t stall, just admit,
You know I’m the worst brother
Tell me how you’d be better off with another
Pharynx… I forgive you, for everything
You’ve pushed me, unswaying
And yet I know in my heart
I know I don’t ever want us to be apart
“You… what?”
You’re my brother, always
Through all the crossways
All the pain and heartbreak
I’ll suffer with you, make no mistake
“...I hate you.”
“I love you too, brother.”
“Well, uh, since neither of them did what they were supposed to… I guess it’s a tie. Unless any of you have differing opinions?”
Figures
Maybe it’s because they were forced into this. Were they?
5470951
Eh, it is Thorax
5470953
Pharynx was, Thorax talked him into it
5470954
Poor poor Pharynx...
Make them fight! I wanna see bloodshed!
5470958
Why do you say that?
5470959
"What?!"
"Dude, what kind of protector would I be if I slaughtered the changeling I'm supposed to protect?"
5470961
How many times has he been in one of these again?
5470963
It'd make you the new king. Then you wouldn't have to worry about protecting someone else, it'd only be you. And the rest of the Hive if you were to go to war but that's nothing new.
5470964
The other times he did it because he wanted to, Bez
5470967
"Oh heck no. I'm not killing him so I can be king, I don't want to be king. I'm a soldier, not a leader."
5470968
Just making sure .//////.’
5470971
Ok then, suit yourself.
5470972
Okay. Sorry
5470975
*Nods*
5470974
*Hugging Pharynx*
"...I really wish I could."
5470983
"No! Positivity and hugs!"
*Groans and pulls away from him* "I'll just go insult Ember or something..."
5470992
"Huh...? Since when can you ground me?"
5471004
"I'm telling dad."
"Great, gives me time to go throw the Bloodstone Scepter into a ravine and see if Ember takes the bait."
5471012
*Sighs and leaves*
"...So, I can go pick a fight with Ember?"
5471018
*Grins* "On it!"
Quick question: How long did it took for you to write this?
Because this is so long with a bunch of many rhymes it'll make Zecora blush when she reads it.
5471193
A couple hours but only by constantly searching up rhymes with a website called RhymeZone