Looking Back: The Conversion Bureau · 6:31am Mar 6th, 2021
Until the other day, I hadn't thought about The Conversion Bureau in years. Hell, I'd barely thought about this site in years. I think that's exactly what makes now a good time to look back at it: any emotions I had about it have had a long time to cool, and so I can examine it with a critical eye and the benefit of hindsight. I'm going to avoid mentioning the names of specific works or authors, because I'd rather not anyone's comments sections get raided.
For those not aware, the Conversion Bureau (TCB) was a subgenre of MLP fanfiction that involved humans using magic potions to turn into ponies and live in Equestria. An impenetrable barrier prevented any non-transformed humans from setting foot in Equestria. Common to all (or at least, nearly all) of these stories was the theme that humans had to undergo this transformation before they could be allowed into Equestria because humanity's evil, sinful nature needed to be removed so that it could not taint paradise. In the most, ehm, remarkable of these fics, Princess Celestia was in fact deliberately expanding the barrier with the intention of killing off or forcing to transform every last human in the world. The works in question always presented this as a good and morally righteous thing. I discovered these stories around early 2012, shortly after I got into the MLP fandom.
This led many people to cry "misanthropy," myself included at the time, but in hindsight, that wasn't my real issue. What really left a bad taste in my mouth was people using MLP - a show that's literally about friendship - as a base for stories whose narratives endorsed biological determinism, forced assimilation, and genocide of "inferior kinds." I would have found these works similarly distasteful if in the humans' place they'd had griffons, or diamond dogs, or changelings. Some of these stories were featured on Equestria Daily, and they received very little public criticism or pushback at the time, which gave me the impression that the fandom at large was on-board with these ideas.
Through a discussion with another brony, I found out I wasn't alone, and we founded an anti-Conversion Bureau group together. It grew quickly, which was heartening to see - it was nice to know that there was a large contingent in the fandom that wasn't on board with these repulsive stories. Many of us, myself included, wrote "deconstruction fics," where the genocidal versions of the ponies were defeated by a united humanity, or some race/organization from a fandom we liked, or their own hubris.
As it turned out, this was a poor use of my time, which is why you will no longer find the fic or its related blog entries on my profile. Yes, these works pointed to this thing and said "hey, this is fucked up," but it stuck with the gross misrepresentation of those ponies we love that put such a sour taste in my mouth in the first place. In fact, the whole movement in general quickly proved more trouble than it was worth. I wound up in quite a few flamewars (some of which I was guilty of starting, some of which came to me) that left me in a worse mood than before. Being the admin of an anti-TCB group, I was also in some capacity responsible for the behavior of a lot of people, some of whom took things too far. I don't know the full extent of what happened around this time, since I was never able to verify many of the claims made about their behavior, but from what I personally witnessed, their actions included long-term harassment of TCB authors and bigotry against one who is a member of a minority group.
I was getting more involved than I'd like in something that wasn't healthy for me to get so wrapped up in. I chalk a lot of this up to me not being in a good place mentally in 2012. I was in college at the time, and I was struggling in my classes, had overpowering self-loathing because of a (harmless) kink I'd discovered I had, felt alone and isolated from my peers, had recently been put on antidepressants, and had just been abandoned by someone I'd considered a close friend. MLP was my escape, but I quickly felt like that escape had become contaminated and toxic. I say this not to excuse my behavior, but because I think there's some insight to be gained here: this was a maladaptive coping mechanism, and it carried a detriment to myself and others around me.
Before long, I shifted gears and began writing Body And Mind. B&M is quite old itself at this point, but it made me much happier than anything TCB-related ever did. It has its own flaws and reflects my inexperience at the time, but it allowed me to write a work that embraced the themes of the show and kept the ponies in-character by exploring the idea that changelings aren't inherently evil, that they can be good, and that any who come to embrace peace and cooperation can and should be accepted*. While I did get in some minor arguments in the comments section, at no point did I wind up in Sisyphean flamewars or ridiculous, unresolvable hypotheticals about what happens when General Dynamics hardware meets magic pastel ponies.
At some point, I kind of drifted away from the fandom at large. I still watched the show right up to the end, I still keep up with the comics, I ran a two-year long campaign of Tails of Equestria that ended just last year, and I play a kirin in another, ongoing Tails of Equestria campaign. I just didn't feel like writing fanfic anymore, so there wasn't much reason for me to stick around this site. It ties into something larger that I've come to accept: at the end of the day, the only thing tying any fandom together is that they all like one specific media property. There are going to be fans who repulse you. There are going to be fan communities that repulse you. Cut those people and communities out of your life and don't look back. Your time on this earth is finite and better spent than fighting endless, unwinnable internet wars.
* History has vindicated me on that one. Thanks, Thorax 
It's funny to hear someone refer to Thorax as a piece of History, like he's real and his appearance is a date we learn about in school. Speaking of history, WOW, I haven't thought about Body and Mind for years. I've been reading stories about Ocellus and the post-anti-isolationist Equestria for so long, it's really hard to think back on the frieghter's worth of stories about building Changeling society from the ground up. Which feels weird, because I would eagerly absorb tons of those stories. Those sort stories still get written, proposi g exactly how society worked even before the Reformation. But it's weird to think back time where we didn't, and couldn't, know something. You can't recapture that cluelessness.
Wow. A blast from the past. Honestly the whole conversion bureau thing was one of the big deals when I started using this site. At the time I found them to be just boring and stayed away from them. At this point the only one I ever got into was the negotiation stuff by rated ponystar but that was years after the trend died.
A thoughtful piece Starman, thanks for reminding us.
I still browse around among the old TCB and anti-TCB fics from time to time. There are various takes on the subject all across the entire spectrum: from the more nuanced stories with complex investigations into the implications and consequences of the TCB-verse, to the black-and-white, morally deterministic stories portraying it as an immutable fight between good and evil - which side is 'good' or 'evil' depends strongly on the author, it seems.
The latter are honestly the most fascinating - and uncomfortable - to read through. Many of them draw parallels to modern propaganda, in a sense: the dehumanization of the antagonists, the extensive jingoism and the notion that 'good' sides' cause was noble and just are just a few examples. It even bleeds through into the comments sections and blog posts surrounding these stories, like you pointed out, leading to outright flame wars and unhealthy vitriol that infected the community for years.
I certainly don't blame you for it, Starman: the original TCB fics left a bad taste in my mouth at the time as well, and the anti-TCB pushback felt like a breath of fresh air against the deep misanthropy many of us felt was ingrained into the concept. That things spiralled out of control is an unfortunate inevitability of any online discussion. It was all to easy to get emotionally invested into such a controversial topic, and I have to admit I got roped into it as well (even if my own anti-TCB fic really was little more but a glorified shitpost). We learn and grow from our mistakes, thankfully.
What really gets to me after all these years, however, is the apparent cognitive dissonance when compared to the source material. In hindsight, isn't it strange how a large part of the community based on a kid's show about learning the value of friendship and tolerance could embrace the exact opposite?
I was REALLY invested in the Anti-Conversion Bureau back in the day. The misanthropy and misandry churning in that pool rubbed the young, twenty-something me the wrong way - I had swallowed the Love and Tolerate pill, and become - frankly - more than a little fanatical about the ideology. I like to think I've learned and become more nuanced in my views since then. That being said, I was quite put off with now the administration handled the situation - it felt like they were perfectly fine stomping out the protests, but fine with the scum poisoning the well. It was the first of many disappointments I've had with the admins of this site.
While I'm pretty sure that particular sub-genre has all but died out, I have to admit, I am a little disappointed you chose to purge your profile of everything TCB. Not only is it a part of history, but I think that no matter what you currently think of your writing, you should never get rid of it. Too many authors have done so over the years, and too many good fics have been lost. I don't think you should be ashamed of your time with the ACB or anything you've ever written. Just my $0.02 though. Glad to hear one of the old-guard is still kicking, we've lost too many over the years.