Epic Rap Battles of Equestria: Tempest Shadow v.s Pharynx Elytron · 7:34pm Feb 24th, 2021
“So… why are we doing this again?”
“Because Melody’s making us.”
“No! We’re doing this because it’s fun!”
“So far it hasn’t been fun.”
“Okay, so maybe you got beat up last time-”
“Wait, what?”
“-But this time, you’re doing it with Tempest, she wouldn’t hurt her own boyfriend.”
“...We spar for fun.”
“Well, okay, she wouldn’t hurt you because she was mad. Anyway, let’s get this show on the road! Ready?”
“I don’t think it matters if we are-”
“You’re absolutely right! Now,” *holding microphone* “Epic Rap Battles of Equestriaaaa! Tempest Shadow v.s. Pharynx Elytrooon! Go!”
So what exactly makes you think you’re so great?
Just because you’re royalty by fate?
You can just strut around without a want or a need
You might as well put on glasses and grab a book to read
You can fight but that’s not all you need to do
If it’s a job as a defender you want to pursue
Sure you can blend in with a job here or there
But face it, it’s the Fangs that catch others unaware
Well I was going to go easy on you, since we’re dating after all
But right off the bat you went hard so now you’re taking the fall
You didn’t have to do this, or even open your mouth
But now you have so it’s time for me to show you what I’m all about
You’re not so great either are you?
Joining the Storm King and his goons?
At least I don’t act like a complete fool
Following around Twilight’s rules
I wasn’t chosen to be Twilight’s guard
I chose to because she picked up my shards
I respect her as an authority
But as a pony she doesn’t take priority
I don’t give a single buck if she gets herself hurt
What I do care about is if you overexert
I love you, can’t you see that?
Is this really necessary over a little spat?
Oh this is more than that now
I’m winning and I don’t care how
You insulted the one thing that keeps me going
Without even any sweat showing
You crossed a line, should have expected it
Happens every time, and yet
No one seems to realize it genuinely affects me
Like you, they’re too blind to see
Phar, I didn’t mean to upset you
I really admire everything you do
You stand up and you fight
You know you’re right
You only want justice to be served
And you carry on, undisturbed
I’ve seen you swear by the sword
To protect and you keep your word
Well sure, I’ve sworn an oath to protect
But it doesn’t mean anything if I’m not shown respect
No matter how many times I tell them and insure
They keep on going and expect me to endure
I’m tired of constantly being put down!
For once, can’t they respect my crown?
And when my own girlfriend thinks I’m not good enough?
That’s when things start to get rough
Pharynx, I would never say that
I know you’re better than anyone, it’s a fact
You’re smart and courageous, more than anyone I know
Don’t let those creatures make your spirit low
You’re brave and strong and you dive right in
Show the world you can win
I know you can do anything, and that’s why
I love you, it’s why you’re my guy
It doesn’t matter what you say
Their words will never waylay
I’m always going to be a joke
They’ll even laugh if I choke
Prove to me that words don’t scare you
That whatever they say doesn’t matter in your view
When they taunt you rise up again
Calm down and count to ten
Alright, alright, you’ve made your point
I just don’t want to disappoint
I know there’s something you see in me
And perfect is what I’m trying to be
You don’t have to be perfect
And you don’t have to earn my respect
No matter what happens when we spar
I love you just the way you are
“Temp, I-”
*Hugs him* “It’s okay Phar.”
“I… I love you Tempest.”
“Love you too bug.”
“Awww, how cuuuute!”
“Shut up!”
“Fine. Still, I told you it wouldn't end in a fight. Anyway, who do you guys think won?”
I mean, how the frick frack do I vote? They’re my parents.
5460637
Fair enough, you don't have to choose if you don't want to
5460638
Heh
5460639
K
5460641
Mhm
5460643
*Backs away slowly*
5460648
"Uh...maybe later..."
5460653
"Uh...okay, sure, just aim for my side."
5460658
"Deal."
Lets be honest they both won, pharynx for the battle portions of the rap and tempest for the counter response portions. After all a rap battle can be won in either of those ways. It’s actually pretty interesting that you managed to get the lyrics down to them both ending up being winners in this lyrical battle. Well done
5460673
Heh, thanks!