• Member Since 9th Dec, 2014
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Robo Bro


A Canadian brony who enjoys writing stories. On rare occasions I even post those stories here.

More Blog Posts60

  • 46 weeks
    Chrysalis: Saviour of Time Chapter 17...Again

    Hello, folks, welcome to the new chapter 17, Night Mare Games. Discussion with spoilers after the page break.

    Read More

    8 comments · 371 views
  • 49 weeks
    Chrysalis: Saviour of Time Chapter 20

    Welcome to chapter 20, Changeling Spaces. Spoilerific discussion after the page break.

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    16 comments · 322 views
  • 51 weeks
    Chrysalis: Saviour of Time chapter 18

    Edit: changed to chapter 19
    Hello all, for once it hasn't been very long. Spoiler ridden discussion about the 18th chapter, Changeling Seasons, after the page break.

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    13 comments · 272 views
  • 54 weeks
    Chrysalis: Saviour of Time Chapter 17

    edit: Changed to chapter 18
    Also known as "Hearth Attack", an original chapter not based on any episode because season 1 had no winter episodes and I didn't want to skip an entire season. More discussion with some spoilers and such after the page break.

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    5 comments · 203 views
  • 55 weeks
    Christmas Update

    Hello all, just a Christmas season update and stuff. Merry Christmas, happy Hearth's Warming, happy generic holidays, etc.

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    3 comments · 198 views
Feb
23rd
2021

Chrysalis: Saviour of Time Chapter 17...Again · 4:14am Feb 23rd, 2021

Hello, folks, welcome to the new chapter 17, Night Mare Games. Discussion with spoilers after the page break.

So...confession time. I am pretty much clueless when it comes to romance and shipping. I've not kept this secret by any means, I have mentioned it before. None of my other stories really focused on it, though it was occasionally running in the background as a secondary, or perhaps even tertiary, sub plot. The closest I can think of to a romance story that I wrote would be Celestia's Secret, but even that is probably more about the absurdity of Celestia confessing that she is a spy to Twilight, with a distinct possibility that she is trolling her and or maybe by one interpretation "breaking the ice" so it's easier for Twilight to not be so scared over her romantic feelings for her.

So, way back when people started commenting enthusiastically about shipping Chrysalis and Luna in this story, I was a little surprised. Somebody added the story to a Luna/Chrysalis shipping group (which is apparently Chrysaluna according to derpibooru, which I think is clearly inferior to Lunalis, but that's neither here nor there) and I'm like "okay" but internally I'm like "what the fuck do I do now?" I didn't intend for them to be a real couple, so to speak, this was clearly a case of a very unhealthy relationship. To paraphrase Luna from this chapter "I tried to seduce you after trying to kill you" and then Chrysalis' "That's okay, I tried to seduce you before trying to kill you". Not to mention Luna's overly possessive and jealous tendencies and Chrysalis' outright terror towards her. This was mostly inserted as a point of conflict, not as a serious romantic subplot! I had dramatically underestimated how much people like the Lunalis ship, you people are crazy mother fuckers.

That, however, was back then. Where am I now? Well, I have to admit, the idea of Lunalis has grown on me. They're still a dysfunctional as fuck couple, but I at least tried to address that a bit? Maybe the dysfunction is what people really enjoyed and I'm ruining it entirely? I don't fucking know. I know so little about romance and shipping and what makes people happy with this stuff. Whatever the case, this has become the date chapter between Luna and Chrysalis.

Ranting about my lack of knowledge or experience with romance set aside, at least for now, moving onto other things.

This chapter is clearly based off of Luna Eclipsed. I went and rewatched the episode before writing this chapter because I didn't remember it very well, and I have to say I had completely forgotten about how god damn good the episode was. Luna was adorable. Spike was an adorable little doofus in his dragon costume. Pipsqueak was cute (I keep wanting to call him Little Pip and am worried I actually did call him that in the chapter, but that's Fallout Equestria, which I've never actually read). The interaction between Luna and Fluttershy was hilarious and also adorable, this was just an amazing episode. So, at the prodding of a couple of my readers from my last chapter's blog entry, I decided to adapt it into my story and retroactively insert it between some older chapters (Cheating Heart and Hearth Attack, to be precise). There was only one slight problem.

I had completely broken this episode with what I had already established.

Okay, that's a bit of hyperbole, but I had definitely broken it a little. This seemed to be Luna's first major outing, not just in the show we've seen, but canonically within the universe of the show even with what we didn't directly see. She was using the royal we for everything. She didn't know how to talk to the common pony without using the royal Canterlot voice. All the ponies, including all but Twilight of the Mane six, were terrified of her presence! My Luna? I don't recall ever using much of the royal we (I tried to avoid it), she definitely knows not to use the royal Canterlot voice, she's explicitly been interacting with political figures behind the scenes, and all the mane six have interacted with her before well enough to not be immediately terrified of her. Oops?

So, I had to write around all of that. No royal we. Okay, that's workable. Already knowing not to always use the royal Canterlot voice? Okay, throw it in here and there, but don't have her use it exclusively. This led to a major casualty. Fluttershy's scene was pretty much all about teaching her to be more soft spoken. Fluttershy's scene was one of my favourite from the episode, and it had to go. The reason for visiting her in the first place was gone, she's hiding in her cottage with no intention of coming out, and I don't see Chrysalis deciding to go to her for some other reason. It hurt me so much to do, but it just made sense.

Anyway, outside of those issues, it wasn't too terribly broken. Luna's unhappy about being treated poorly in the past, she gets treated poorly in the present, she learns to fit in a little better...all that seems good and all. Or it did. I'll get to the changes to that later.

So, Chrysalis didn't strike me as the type to really want to partake in the holiday. Maybe I could have given her a desire to exploit the night for one reason or another, but it didn't feel right to me. So, I had to come up with a reason for her to get involved. In comes Rarity. Oh, Rarity, you are such a wonderful plot convenience, dragging Chrysalis into things so often. Plus, it gave me a way for Chrysalis to have a costume for a holiday she had no interest in, a big win there.

Rarity was not actually in the original episode. I learned from some readers here, and from a wiki article, that she was initially supposed to be part of the episode. She was supposed to put Luna into a pretty dress of some kind that she found humiliating, that she tore off, and then we would have had Pinkie burst in while some of that dress was in her mouth and loudly proclaim she ate a princess. Those readers encouraged me to reinsert that scene into my chapter, and so I have. I may have had to cut Fluttershy's scene, but at least I added a Rarity. It mostly played out how the scene was supposed to from what I read, with only minor deviations. Instead of a generic princess being eaten, it was Celestia, and Luna didn't hate the dress because it was too frilly or whatever, it was because it was intended for her sister and really didn't look good on her.

Anyway, I have no idea what Rarity was supposed to be dressed as, maybe it was mentioned in the wiki article, or maybe not. It doesn't really matter. I chose to have her dress up as Nightmare Moon. Mostly this was for the awkward situation when Luna enters the picture, but it was also for the fun of Rarity doing the silly flirtation junk with Chrysalis because she was getting into the character of Nightmare Moon. I got to have nice little parallels, with both Luna and Rarity dragging Chrysalis around by levitation, and various little flirtatious or intimate gestures.

Chrysalis' costume of a changeling I thought would be funny. It calls back to A Changeling In Ponyville, gives us the cute double of both the dragon and the changeling dressed as their own kind, and was meant to be a little flip on the thing mentioned at the start about how changelings that partook in the holiday never did so in their natural form. Plus, we have a big be careful what you wish for moment when Chrysalis wishes that there were a pony that could appreciate the beauty of her changelings, and Luna shows up who definitely appreciates them, but also scares the shit out of Chrysalis. Oh, and it also gave what I personally think was an adorable image of Luna wearing the changeling head mask for much of the night.

Luna's arrival in the episode was meant to establish everything that was wrong with her approach, more or less. Given that so much of that was broken by my story, I chose the safe and admittedly lazy way out of having Chrysalis miss the moment of her actual arrival, instead opting to have it happen off screen (so to speak). I quite liked the way she found out, though, with the whole complete about face in her attitude and trying to avoid the situation only to have Rarity immediately call her out on her bullshit. If we're being honest, given all that's happened thus far, we know that she would try to avoid Luna if possible. Of course, she fails to avoid her for more than a few seconds, and we lead into a pretty big moment between the two, the one where I sorta tried to address the whole unhealthy relationship thing.

So, Chrysalis actively avoids Luna's affections, literally ducking out of the way of a kiss and lying, badly, in order to cover it up. Luna decides enough is enough, and confronts her about it in an...unsurprisingly unhealthy fashion that is perhaps fit for a mentally unstable individual of extreme power that has a history of violent overreactions to being snubbed. She physically assaults Chrysalis, and Chrysalis turns to something she doesn't usually do out of desperation: she actually tells Luna the truth. She is terrified of her, not just because she's a powerful alicorn or because she fears she's still Nightmare Moon, but because of the knowledge of her identity which she is basically using as blackmail to get her into a relationship, whether it was intentional or not.

Luna is mortified by the realization that she had effectively forced herself onto somebody who was too frightened to say no, and equally mortified to realize that having this secret out in the open does nothing to change the problem at hand. Given that realization, she vows to not force the relationship forward until she can find a way to bridge that gap in power between the two. Not that she is giving up on the relationship or even taking a break from it, necessarily, just that she won't push it forward. I wanted her to have the dignity and honour to actually keep to her word, and so later during a high point in the date, she is the one to prevent an imminent kiss rather than Chrysalis. Herein lies perhaps my greatest fear. Is trying to move this towards a more healthy dynamic what people actually want to see? Is this a good idea? Am I screwing up by building up that moment of a kiss only to have Luna break it off? I don't know. It's done, regardless.

Anyway...Despite Luna deciding to back off a bit in terms of their relationship development, Chrysalis decides to basically have a date night with her playing a bunch of Nightmare Night games. A night of games with the mare of the night, hence the title Night Mare Games. simple enough.

Here we get back to that change I was mentioning earlier. In the episode, Twilight spends most of the runtime trying to help Luna be less frightening so that ponies would like her. Chrysalis...doesn't do that. Chrysalis gives a bit of an attempt to get ponies to stop fearing Luna, but not so that she can make friends, it was so that Luna would be more comfortable, and ultimately she pushes the idea that Luna should forget about what stupid ponies think of her, to ignore their fear because it's not worth her time. This is perhaps not a healthy message for Chrysalis to get across, but it seems to fit her character far better than what is attempted in the actual episode. Plus, there is the hypocrisy of the advice for the readers to spot easily enough, much of Chrysalis' own inner dialogue is focused directly on bemoaning the fact that ponies find her kind to be frightening. So, on one hand it provides a potential lesson for her to learn alongside Luna...but is it really a good lesson for her? One could argue that such a lesson is kind of a step back from the perspective of her character development into becoming friends with the ponies. She also seems to backpedal on the lesson of Cheating Heart with how competitive she gets with Luna in the games, though it does work fairly well as a bonding experience between them and helps distract Luna from her woes. Perhaps even with the improvements to the relationship, it's still unhealthy for her. It's a real mixed bag, but as I said, I think it fits Chrysalis far better than the original message.

Despite all the changes, however, the chapter ends more or less the same way the episode did, with Luna taking on the guise of Nightmare Moon to scare the foals. Minor changes are there, such as how she didn't abolish the holiday like in the episode, and of course the contents of the letter to Celestia are different, but those aren't that big of a deal.

Oh, and a thing that got lost under the weight of the whole Lunalis stuff in this blog...Time Keeper is dressed as an alicorn that clearly doesn't match any of the known alicorns. Bringing attention to this within the chapter is clearly intended to be more than just a throwaway moment. It's not a completely new thing, it is actually kind of bringing attention to something that had already been mentioned at some point. Those who wish to dig a little into some much earlier material, or have really good memories, could probably guess who he's supposed to be.

Anyway, I've ranted enough. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Comments ( 8 )

Here's hoping you figure out a way to make the pairing work, I think I've only seen it happen once before.

Herein lies perhaps my greatest fear. Is trying to move this towards a more healthy dynamic what people actually want to see? Is this a good idea?

YES. Please do. This was probable my favorite scene on the chapter and I think it would make a good parallel to Chrysalis' own character development.

Loving the chapter recaps. A bit of insight into the author's mind. It reminds me of a good Talks Machina episode.
For the romance... Lunalis ain't bad. By no means my favorite, but I like it well enough. Here though... It may ultimately be put off until changelings are revealed to society. And if Chrys can't put a positive spin on that, it may never work out. At best, perhaps Luna begins working on laws and such to make allowances for lesser beings, opening the doors for creatures like the Yaks, Kirin, and others to make their way into Equestria early, (While also possibly moving up the Storm King's plans considerably.)
For Chrys though, Romance may never be at the forefront of her mind. So long as the Hive is still in danger, it must come first. Still, as a close relation to the eventual ruler of the Crystal Empire, it is entirely possible that Chrys can one day set aside her need to be queen, trusting in her alternate self to be able to care for the hive, while she is finally able to chase after a life for herself.
Perhaps, through a combination of the Elements of Harmony, the Magic of Friendship, Changeling gunk, and Alicorn jazz, Chrys is permantantly transformed into a alicorn-changeling hybrid. What purpose would this serve? Well, beyond the idea that Celestia would probably wonder why Twilight never showed up in the hall of mirrors to ascend, Chrys is never going to get to be Queen of the hive again. That belongs permanently to someone else now. The original Twilight cannot be ressurrected. Chrys has been at this for maybe three months now, and has been found out on several occasions. She cannot keep this up. Luna knows too much. Celestia will eventually break the 'Dark Alicorn'. Something will happen. Celestia forbid, Discord gets his hands on her. All hell could break loose. Realistically, she may not make it past the Season 2 premire without being revealed.
Somethings gotta give, like it did at the party. I'm looking forwards to being here when that happens.

I can't speak for others bit one of the best 0arts of a dysfunctional romance is watching it grow into a functional one. And don't worry if its needed, a lot of us are ready for a slow burn

Do what you feel is best... figure out a way for the power bridge to close (head or something) or have them get close enough to trust one another, bring them closer just for the wedding to drive a wedge between them.... the tale is yours. Go where you (or it) feels is right

I'm a sucker for rarepairs, but please don't feel pressured to work something into the story if you're uncomfortable writing it.

That said, so far you seem to be doing fine and moving the relationship in a healthier direction is a good idea. This latest update did a good job at making the pairing seem believable and was enjoyable to read.

As I am late af I say this, I think it may be interesting to try and fine a healthy middle ground between functional and dysfunctional. The fun part it the build up to it working, and till chrysalis is inevitably revealed and Luna does not have that power over her. Well it will be fun to watch to say the least.

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