Chrysalis: Saviour of Time chapter 18 · 4:56am Jan 19th, 2021
Edit: changed to chapter 19
Hello all, for once it hasn't been very long. Spoiler ridden discussion about the 18th chapter, Changeling Seasons, after the page break.
So, it's been less than a month since I last updated this story, that's a rarity. What's even rarer? The next chapter after this is all written and typed up, too. I know, crazy, right? The reason for this, however, is quite simple. The next chapter is a short one that was initially intended to be at the end of the this chapter, but I liked the cliff hanger way I ended this chapter way too much and realized that the next part, while definitely short for a chapter by my standards, is longer than I anticipated and also important enough to warrant it being its own chapter.
So, this one went through quite a bit of small and not so small revisions between writing it out in my notebook, typing it up and then proofreading/editing a couple of times. First, let's talk about the title. I did not know what the title was going to be at first. I think the original working title was Queen's Snow Removal Services (or Changeling Snow Removal Services), but that's quite the mouthful and doesn't have nearly the punny punch of Changeling Seasons. First of course is because changeling sounds a lot like changing, so changing seasons like the ponies do with Winter Wrap Up. Second was a bit of a double meaning in that it's kind of close to something I remember from an old Looney Tunes cartoon where Daffy and Bugs are arguing over whether it's rabbit season or duck season for hunting. Well, in this case it's changeling hunting season in that Chrysalis was just hunted down and captured. Fun times.
Next revision was because of a stupid mistake on my part while writing the chapter in my notebook. I forgot to include Spike in the Winter Wrap up events. I had fully intended to have him tag along with Chrysalis, but I completely forgot and wrote pretty much the entire chapter without him involved beyond handing her a newspaper at the start, and being tied up in the closet at the end. While typing it up, I reinserted him into the rest of the chapter as I had initially intended, effectively rewriting half of the entire thing, and I think it made for a much better chapter. It gave Chrysalis a chance to interact with him more (poor Spike's been a little neglected lately), and it allowed for smoother conversations that weren't just Chrysalis chatting with her friends (which I think was sorely needed considering that she was in panic/flee mode due to the topics brought up).
Third revision...initially I didn't have the Fluttershy interaction written in my notebook, nor her decision to not visit Applejack, instead having Pinkie Pie knock her into a snowbank after she ran away from Rarity. I was being a little lazy, and I realized that, and I think it's improved by adding Flutters.
Fourth revision (so many!). I initially didn't have Spike asking about a pet anywhere in the chapter at all after I had reinserted him into it, which made me question something: why the hell did Chrysalis assume that Spike hid a dog inside of the closet? It seemed to come out of nowhere. In order to make it make sense, I introduced the idea that Spike actually wanted a pet much earlier. This also I believe dramatically improved the ending.
Fifth and final revision! Wait...what was this revision? Oh right! I initially just had Chrysalis being a simple recluse with no excuse after the party from Hearth Attack. This did not sit well with me. She had already been a recluse beforehand for the first chunk of winter, and I do not think that the others would have been willing to wait this long to speak with her about the events of that chapter unless something made them do so. I decided that having Chrysalis fall ill, and then feign her illness lasting longer than it actually did so she could get some alone time, would help alleviate that problem.
So...I tried to do a bit of a fake out with this one. More than once, come to think of it. I had Chrysalis noticing that Winter Wrap Up was not being very well organized and commenting how she could do it better, which was meant to try and suggest to the readers that she would do effectively the same thing as Twilight in the show: become the one who organized the events so that it ran much more smoothly. Then she didn't. I also had her be super paranoid about a strange sound only to reveal that it was Spike and she was worried about nothing, supposedly, until she discovers that Spike is actually in the closet and gets knocked out from behind. Also fun times.
Minor thing...to that guy that keeps on saying the owls are changelings, I finally made a bird a changeling. If you haven't figured it out, the little bird that kept showing up during Chrysalis' meetings with her friends was a changeling. I even hinted somewhat at it with it snuggling into Fluttershy's mane for warmth, cause changelings don't like the cold. Looking back, I can understand perfectly well why somebody would suspect that Sage at one point or another is a changeling, but why would they assume the random barn owl was? It didn't fly in when the door was opened by either Chrysalis or Rarity/Pinkie, so it would have had to have been there before then, and there's no reason why a random changeling would be hiding away in AJ's barn. They hate going out in the cold so wouldn't have gone to the farm without a solid reason, and wouldn't have known ahead of time that Chrysalis was going to show up there. Guys, that barn owl was a simple plot device and mild deus ex machina to help Chrysalis avoid being caught. That's it. Moving on.
Spike picking up swearing from Snowball and the punishment stuff I thought was cute. I thought the second use of "Forget about it" was kinda funny. Not much more to it than that.
In the comments of the last chapter, a lot of people talked about how Rarity likely knows something. Yeah, that's probably not too hard to guess. People also pointed out that Pinkie Pie had to be in the room when Chrysalis said she wasn't a pony to Time Keeper and would clearly know something's up too, and I was like "oh shit, they're right! It was just supposed to be a Pinkie doing Pinkie things funny moment, but it has huge implications! I can't believe I overlooked that!" This, my friends, is why even if I have multiple chapters ready, I tend to prefer not to upload them all at once. Readers can totally catch things that I missed and it allows me time to make modifications to my plans in future chapters. So, Pinkie has developed the odd idea that since she's not a pony, she's supposed to hibernate and that's why they hadn't seen her most of the winter. There, Pinkie making Pinkie type leaps of logic and it's no longer a plot hole. Phew. Rainbow Dash also asks her questions about the situation, having caught on to some of the oddities of the night. Rarity clearly has the night on her mind, but is trying really hard to be tactful about how she approaches it. Flutters is just nice and doesn't bother bringing it up, probably because she suspects that it's a sore subject.
Slightly dark aside from Chrysalis about how changeling tradition would be to kidnap Rarity and use her as a food source was also meant as some slight foreshadowing. Changelings kidnap somebody this chapter. Simple enough.
On a less chapter oriented level, I sat down and considered exactly how much left I had to write for this story as a whole. I have had for quite some time a solid idea of what chapters I would have leading up to the end of season 1 with "The Best Night Ever", but I was less clear on what exactly was going to happen after that. Given the separation of the next chapter from this one, I was set to have 24 chapters. Six chapter remain of "season 1", one of them being a mini chapter (which is coming up next), and "The Best Night Ever" is intended to have a part 1 and a part 2. If you discount the mini chapter, and consider the two parter just one....that's almost like there's only four chapters left to cover there. So close to the end of what I had solidly planned out.
Anyway, I had decided I needed a much more solid idea of what happens after that. I had always been a little hazy on how much of later seasons I wished to cover, and I now have my answer. I think that after the events that lead to the finishing of season 1, there will be little reason to go over any more episodes that aren't directly related to this story's overarching plot. Discord has been referenced a few times, certainly has relevance thanks to Chrysalis being aware of what being petrified is like (plus being so terrified of him that it would be a waste not to use him), and he will make an appearance for sure. Chrysalis' past self is so blatantly obviously important to the story that of course she will be covered. I don't think that after The Best Night Ever I will cover any other episodes from the show outside of those, and even then it may be a stretch to say that I'm covering those episodes because things will have changed so much from Chrysalis' interference that it won't even really be those episodes anymore (which means that I have to discard some of the original thoughts I had had for what happens during A Canterlot Wedding from way back when I started the story, but that's life). It'll be time to wrap up the story, and as such, I have come to a tentative decision that this story will end somewhere in the 28-30 chapter range, depending on how I break up or merge chapters. I may decide to add a bit of a side chapter here and there covering some of the more interesting events that would occur (primarily the villains showing up, maybe Equestria Girls for the hell of it because the thought amuses me), but none of them would be essential reads or tied to the overarching story.
If I can stick with my goals for this year (averaging a chapter per month), Chrysalis: Saviour of Time might be finished before 2022 rolls around. That is the weirdest thought for me, since I've been working on it for so damn long. While I am not proud of how long its taken me to do, I am proud of this story overall. I will miss it, and can't help but wonder what my next big project will be. I suppose that's still a ways off, however, since that means I have another 10 ish chapters I need to get through, first.
Anyway, that's enough rambling. I hope you enjoyed Changeling Seasons.
It was quite a enjoyable chapter, and I said this as a comment in the story itself and will say it here I did not see that ending coming. I hope you manage to reach your goal of finishing this story before 2022, you have worked hard on this. I will say it will be kindove sad to say goodbye to this story when it is finished. However to quote a great man who never did anything wrong I think I speak for everyone when I say 'we will watch your career with great interest'. Have a nice day. Keep up the good work.
I have to say that I look forward to your reimagining of canon events more so than any other story on the site.
I’ll just have to satisfy myself with your 82-chapter sequel that begins at the start of Season 3: Snowball: Saviour of the Universe!
5439043
And it would only take me 41 years to write it all! No problem!
Two quick story structure thoughts.
First, the decision to split this chapter at the cliffhanger was good since you have the follow up almost ready to go. It's a great hook and a natural spot for a strong break like that, but leaving the story sitting on a cliffhanger can leave readers frustrated so you need to drop the resolution fast. That would be a problem for your general update speed since the continuation really needs to land within a week of the cliffhanger in this chapter, but with it already written you should be fine.
Second, while your general approach to the conclusion seems solid, you shouldn't exclude the possibility of bringing in a slice of life episode in season 2. With everything going on in the plot, you may need a bit of a side chapter to manage pacing by giving the audience time to breathe and a random episode would be a good way to provide that. Depending on how things work out, it might also be a good place to show the girls getting used to the idea that their friend is actually a changeling and/or have some fun with Luna to flesh out that relationship a little more because it's currently little more than a simple crush that has yet to be explored.
5440922
I was planning for a one or two week delay on releasing the next chapter, and definitely no longer than that.
Given the stuff that's happening, a calmer chapter after I finish with the season 1 episodes entirely to give a bit of a breather, whether that be a season 2 slice of life episode or something else, might not be a bad idea. I'll have to check what's available for me to translate into this story and consider it.
5441005
That all sounds good, and my first thought for a season 2 episode is Luna Eclipsed since it gives you an excuse to bring Luna into the picture for a bit in addition to shenanigans with the girls. That should result in a nicely balanced chapter with lots of development of the Chrysalis/Luna relationship giving it plenty of substance while the girls break things up with comic relief. Just remember, the original plan called for Rarity to try to put Luna into a giant pink abomination of a princess dress before time constraints forced them to cut it, so you should add that back in for fun.
If you want other options, the episodes that pop out when I scan the list are Secret of My Excess or Dragon Quest to dig into Spike a little more, Baby Cakes to kick Chrysalis's empty nest syndrome into high gear, Read It and Weep to dive into the Chrysalis/Rainbow Dash relationship since she won't bring over Daring Do (she might relate stories of her life to entertain Rainbow which could be fun), Hearts and Hooves Day to show the CMC trying to exploit Chrysalis's changeling nature, and Ponyville Confidential to bring out the worst in Chrysalis. Most of the others could work provided you're ok with Chrysalis mostly spectating (although I think that would be boring), but there are a few you legitimately can't use like Lesson Zero that simply won't happen without the real Twilight plus a few turds that would just be annoying and likely revolve around Chrysalis insulting her friends.
5441015
I looked through the list and came to similar conclusions. However, Luna Eclipsed being a Halloween (Nightmare Night) episode tends to put that into the autumn category, way on the wrong side of the chronological map. I had realized a few weeks ago that I had missed a big opportunity to pull that one out of order and slot it in with the rest of the season 1 chapters to give myself an extra autumn chapter and expand on Luna. C'est la vie. If I were to rewrite the entire story (or go back in time myself), I'd definitely put that in, but as things stand it's too late. On the plus side, Luna is a substantial part of my plans for a few of the remaining chapters. With the viewpoint of there being only 4 chapters remaining for "season 1" (exclude cliffhanger conclusion chapter and consider the two parter a single chapter), she shows up in some capacity in three out of four of them, the remaining ones being ????, Ticket Master, Suited For Success, and The Best Night Ever.
Secret of My Excess might be a little bit action packed for a breather chapter thanks to Spike going King Kong on Rarity and causing a panic, but I do love the whole Spike/Chrysalis stuff that would happen. Probably better explored as a side chapter after all the main story is done rather than tying it to the story as a whole.
The big ones I saw that could easily fit in the time frame, are light enough to be a good breather, and I had interesting thoughts for were Hearts and Hooves Day (love being very thematically on point for changelings, duh) and Ponyville Confidential (big ol' gossip magazine saying nasty things about Ponyville residents right around the time that Chryssi is exposed? Yeah, that has potential).
I agree in not wanting Chrysalis to be a mere spectator, so a lot of episodes are out for that. Plus there are the episodes based around Twilight's own mental issues, which simply would not logically happen, such as Lesson Zero or A Matter of Time (which is a shame on the latter, because I am amused at the idea of throwing more time travel into this time travel based story, which could also have interesting implications on the greater narrative, but it just doesn't work).
5441025
Well, there are three possible solutions for Luna Eclipsed. First, you could probably just bullshit the time of year and make it a spring holiday since it isn't explicitly Halloween, especially since it was aired as the fourth episode and we know the series started mid-summer so there must have been a fall during season 1. Second, since this section of the story is semi-episodic and fall isn't that long ago, you could probably just go back and insert it earlier if you wanted without causing serious issues. Third, you could use it as a very late interlude or epilogue to wrap up that relationship depending on your timeline.
As for the rest, I fully agree. Those two episodes are thematically perfect and should provide all the breathing room you need so there's no need to pull anything else. That said, there's nothing stopping you from taking a longer detour by adding another action point and rest chapter between your key plot points if you want to, or you could use Dragon Quest to pull a switch with something happening while Chrysalis is out of town.
5441048
I think the best choice for me if I do implement it might be to try and retroactively insert it between some chapters I've already posted. As you said, the chapters in that area are mostly episodic with little directly to do with each other (excepting Great Apple Caper leading directly into Cheating Heart). It would probably be either in between 14 and 15 (Sticks and Stones, The Great Apple Caper) or between 16 and 17 (Cheating Heart, Hearth Attack). I'd need to be careful with what I have happen in that particular chapter so as to not step on the toes of things that I've already written (or have solid plans for), but it would be doable. That's really a task for another time, though.
5441055
That sounds like a plan, and I'd suggest the second slot between 16 and 17. If nothing else, it minimizes the number of chapters it could potentially interact with, and given how focused the winter chapters are on the drunk mistakes plot thread it should be essentially immune to knock-on effects (or at least tight enough you can acknowledge the addition with a line or two of dialog).
5441067
Yeah, that slot seems better, since on further reflection I remembered the beginning of The Great Apple Caper has a direct reference to Sticks and Stones with Chrysalis trying to "bribe" Fluttershy into silence over her crying after being petrified by the cockatrice. Hearth Attack is much more insulated from outside events, or at least from ones occurring before it, and has a definite stretch of empty time between it and Cheating Heart that it could be easily fitted inside.
5441074
Agreed, and this should also smooth the transition to Luna taking a more active role in future chapters.
Glad you've finally got some more of the story's future plotted out. While it's a shame about the Wedding that is pretty far in the future, so I can see wanting to resolve earlier.
I enjoyed the chapter but I must say this is both the best and worst time for Chrysalis to be kidnapped. Especially if she's replaced by a changeling. After the previous chapter several of her friends will be looking at her oddly and may catch signs of odd Changeling behavior but at the same time, they have started to put together Chrysalis was always odd and may think the Changeling is the original changeling impersonating Twilight Sparkle (ie Future Chrysalis), not a new changeling impersonating Twilight Sparkle. Or mistakenly think she was replaced at the party but that's not as bad a scenario.
It looks like @D48 has already covered what I was thinking about breather chapters and if you do decide to write a few side stories after the main fic finishes (like Equestria Girls), I'll read them.