Fic reviews, January 17th! · 8:53pm Jan 17th, 2021
VisualPony's newest reading is Majin Syeekoh's Somepony Needs the Boundaries Talk!
So this is the audiobook catch-up blog that I typically do after a big audiobook reader edition. It is, however, incomplete, because today, the USB extension cord that I use to connect my external speakers to my laptop and thus keep my laptop out of the hot, steamy bathroom, has finally given out. (Said speakers, which I have had longer than the cord, and which remain in said bathroom day in and day out, remain surprisingly functional.) It's not a big issue, I've ordered another one, but it does mean that I'm not going to be able to listen to anything in the bath for the rest of this week, and since the remaining 13 audiobooks in my list are at least half new readers, I can't give them fair shakes because of it.
So I'll probably pick those back up once I've gotten the replacement cord. In the meantime, I'm going to continue with my original plan, which is to listen to a few longfics via TTS (currently, 200k words for the Top Ten edition), and read things on the side in the meantime. I'm quite nearly done with Pride and Positivity, too. Things will happen as they happen!
H: 0 R: 6 C: 8 V: 2 N: 1
Discontinuity by Baal Bunny
Reading by the Author
Genre: Comedy/Adventure
Never throw Discord a birthday party.
Augie does his own readings from time to time, did you know that? :) They're direct MP3 uploads though, rather than on Youtube, so linking becomes weird. Regardless, this story is quite the ride, as Applejack and Discord are flung through realms of chaos willy-nilly, while trying all the while to figure out how to make it back home. You never see the two of them written together like this, and the eventual solution to their problem was really cool. As is the cause of it. Get ready for a literary rollercoaster!
Recommended
Tell Me All Your Secrets I Need to Know Them Please! by Strawberry Sunrise
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: Comedy
Star Swirl is unamused.
So this is a slice of life piece about the newly-returned Star Swirl the Bearded just going about his day, with some light comedic beats, wherein once a scene, Twilight shows up to act like a ninny for some reason. Yes, the reason she spouts the title at him for the third time is actually funny, but I found the constant interruptions too wacky and ultimately annoying when compared to the rest of the story. Which, y'know, puts the reader in Star Swirl's shoes, but still. Also, it doesn't really have an ending, it just stops. Amusing, but not amazing.
Recommended for Star Swirl Fans
Not Funny Dot Jay Pegasus by shortskirtsandexplosions
Reading by Neighrator Pony
Mature: Gore
Genre: Dark Comedy
It's too late: Ponyville is overrun with cookie zombies. There's only one thing left for Rainbow Dash to do.
I was thinking I might have liked this better without the gore, but then I realized, the gore (like the gun) is there to drive home the idea that this is satire. You can tell it's satire, because a lot of commenters have completely missed the fact. :V I have to imagine that, after (uh, shit what was this episode called? They should've named it Pranks but No Pranks) aired, there was maybe more than one fic wherein Rainbow Dash starts killing "zombies" before they have a chance to show that the jig is up. What makes this work is that we do get that beat where Pinkie and Twilight drop the facade and start explaining Dash's predicament to her… after which she starts murdering ponies with a shovel because she's too dumb to change course. XD So yeah, not everyone will appreciate this, I suspect, but it's honestly a great sendup of not just those fics, but murderfics in general.
Recommended If You Don't Mind Gore
Halloween Special: Dreaming by Konseiga
Reading by Midnight29
Genre: Horror
On the day of Nightmare Night, Luna has a chilling dream.
Isn't it kind of weird to title your story "Halloween Special"? Like, if this were a chapter or even a standalone in the middle of a series, I'd understand it, but by itself? Anyway, this was all right, not amazing, but original right up until it decided to go with a Doctor Who reference. I mean, the things Luna encounters aren't actually Weeping Angels, except they're totally Weeping Angels, and the mysterious voice even warns her, "Don't blink!" You don't just rip off the best hour of modern television ever produced and think you can get away with it. Still, the ending was kind of good, even if it's maybe a little expected for the setup. I dunno, see what you think.
Recommended for Horror Fans
Vampiolence by ObabScribbler
Reading by the Author, et. al.
Mature: Gore, Violence
Genre: Grimdark/Supernatural/Romance
Vinyl Scratch was happy, until her dark past came back to haunt her, in the form of her father.
You know, if anyone but Scribbler had written a story whose title is a portmanteau of "vampire" and "violence", I likely would not have read it, even if she'd done the audiobook. I mean, not only is that pretty over-the-top, but y'all know I've had bad experiences with vampire Vinyl fics. <.< Suffice to say, this absolves itself well of any presuppositions I might have had, thanks to a solid romance, pulse-pounding action, and a memorable and exceedingly vile villain. Said villain is Voron, Vinyl Scratch's progenitor in both senses of the word. He is an abusive, manipulative, and oddly megalomaniacal sadist who views his progeny as possessions, and who is extremely controlling of their lives. He's fixated on wooing mortal mares, so that he can create more and more children with his blood, to grow the ranks of his 'family'. Said family includes a secondary villain, Vinyl's little sister Vellum, a pegasus who is perhaps even more cruel and sadistic than her father. Both of them together are a terrifying force to be reckoned with. And they start the action off, holding Octavia hostage and trying to get Vinyl to come back to their fold. The story is then told in snatches, alternating between the present scene, which moves painfully slowly, somewhat to its detriment, and Vinyl's past, which jumps through history to tell the most important bits while occasionally showing that she was present for major historical events, which I found cute. :) Speaking of cute, the romance. Oh boy. This is easily one of the best ScratchTavia fics I've ever read. Scribbler has imbued them with real chemistry, and all the scenes of them just being together are gripping if not also enjoyable. I mean, no spoilers, but there's a Tragedy tag on this story for a reason. <.<; Also worth noting the Gore and Violence tags: there are a couple of extremely bloody, gross scenes in the middle that actually turned my stomach, so those averse to such things in their ponyfic will want to beware. The fact is, this is definitely not a story for everyone, because of stuff like that, but if you're willing to give it a shot, oh boy, it's really good, and the audiobook is probably even better. It's real top-notch work, some of Scribbler's best, and three years' worth of Octobers well spent. :)
Recommended If You Like Really Dark Stuff
To Blink by PiercingSight
Reading by Quill N. Lead and IMShadow007
Genre: Blinkfic
Hopefully the genre tag says all I need to, but in case it doesn't: if you've read one of these, you've read them all. Yes, this adds something to the story by telling it from the beginning, but it also lacks considerably in horror. Not only does it avoid the fridge horror of coming into the situation partway, but it adds in a ton of needless blood and guts. It's not bad, but I wouldn't bother with it unless you've never read one of these. And even then, it's not like Blinkfics are that great to begin with.
Vaguely Recommended
Delicious! Delicious! by jmj
Reading by Scribbler, Goombasa and MuseScript
Genre: Horror
There's a new donut at Sugarcube Corner that everypony is dying to try.
Flavor-based horror, anyone? c.c I've never had matcha, myself. It didn't gain popularity in the States until after I'd been forbidden from consuming caffeine, so I likely never will, either. I just have to assume the author has had bad experiences with it, given how this story goes. But it's not the only taste fuelling the gustatory grossness, given how much attention is on the alcohol content of a cup of hard cider. (Also there's a lot of alliteration in this story lol) The denouement is paced perfectly to ramp up the tension and creepiness, and by the end, I just wanted nothing more to do with it, it's so gross, and it's great. XD
Recommended
Dash's Unsuccessful Fanfic by Penguifyer
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: Comedy
Rainbow Dash pesters Twilight with her new Daring Do fanfic.
So we've all read stories like this by now. I know I read one last year. And given the conversation that takes place at the start of this story, I would like to think it's in continuity with the rest, and Dash does not consider "being the Princess of Equestria" a reason not to bug her friend for help with her fanfic. But there's a lot more to this than just laughing at Rainbow Dash's inability to rite gud. This is actually a story about the effort it takes to write a fanfic, and how to handle not just criticism, but also the agony of defeat when your view count doesn't go very high. Plus, Rainbow Dash is portrayed as not a giant idiot? Madness. So yes, this is a funny comedy, but it's also got a message us fanfic writers can stand to be reminded of time and again.
Recommended
How Luna Got Her Groove Back by anonpencil
Reading by Neighrator Pony
Mature: Sex, Fetish
Genre: 1.5P AiE Sexual Comedy
How much does Luna really need a vagina, anyway?
The combination of pencil's usual give-no-fucks approach to writing Anon, the rarity of Neighrator reading a clopfic, and the unintentional personal title snipe is why I wanted to read this. And I have to admit, the warnings in the description gave me pause, but thankfully the ending isn't nearly as bad as they made me fear. (Though the warnings do lie, Anon appears in the first chapter!) This is mostly just hilarity revolving around the absurdity inherent in Luna's situation, her being out of touch with modern life, and Anon being a skeevy loser as always. It's good, stupid fun, I laughed a lot, and the laughs Neighrator left in his reading only made it better. :)
Recommended for Terrible People
Under a Bed of Roses Do You Lay by Dawning View
Reading by Scribbler
Genre: Sad Future Fic
Twilight talks with her friends.
I think we've all written a story like this: a sad monologue by one character, with nothing else. Does this work? Eh. It borders on immortality angst, and the author apparently thinks that Twilight will talk like a poetry dictionary in a thousand years. It's kind of interesting how it fits into post-S9 canon (though there aren't any comments on it earlier than 2020, which makes me wonder if the publish date was not actually 2014 like the story says). It's a thing.
Vaguely Recommended
Comfort Zones by misskoifishpony
Reading by Ribonchan, Sparrow9642 and Scribbler
This is another time when I find myself going, "Wait, I haven't listened to who?" Ribonchan's been a longtime collaborator with pretty much every other fic reader ever, and also she's got her own channel that I have neglected! So it should be no surprise that this is a high-quality fic reading and she's going on the list.
Genre: Very Special Fanfic
Pinkie Pie helps out Roseluck's daughter.
There has got to be a way to write these "awareness" stories and have them not be intensely boring. Bow Heart is just an autism vehicle, and Pinkie talks in PSAs. It does make a good case for her being autistic as well (though I laughed really hard at her declaration that "I have autism, too!"), but in doing so walks us step by step through her entire backstory, even the stuff we already know. So yeah, I bounced off this hard, and I will chalk it up to being aware of autism 24/7 instead of during one very special month out of the year. :|
Not Recommended
"Eyeballing It" by NightScript
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: Comedy/Mass Effect Crossover
Tirek has one last thing standing in the way between him and total conquest of Equestria.
So. If, like me, you get to the end of this and go, "What?", scroll down to the fourth comment and watch the video. This is the kind of punchline you'd only get if you've played the games, I expect, but it is funny in hindsight. Apart from that, this does still have some comedy for pony fans, plus a very interesting take on the Tirek fight. Like, I don't know if this is meant to be an AU, or him after he breaks out of Tartarus another time or what, but it caught me off guard. It's just not going to work for everyone equally the first time through.
Recommended for Mass Effect Fans
Happy Hearth Warming's by FlameingToast
Reading by Cavatina
I'm surprised I've not heard her name before. This was really good! Solid use of music and sound effects, intro and outro are unobtrusive. And though her Fluttershy and Apple Bloom were maybe a little pitchy, she does a good Applejack and a great Scootaloo. Onto the list she goes!
Genre: Shipping
Applejack's not about to let one of her best friends spend Hearth's Warming alone.
The title of this piece does not give me hope for the quality of the proofreading, but the story itself is honestly really cute, and even a little funny. Plus, Flutterjack is quite the rare beast. I didn't need much more than that. I liked it!
Recommended for Shippers
grounding (3, 2, 1) by The Red Parade
Reading by Carapace Gaming
I'm not sure if this is the same Carapace that's on Fimfic, but he's not bad! Good diction and pacing, clear quality. He does leave in some bobbles, like microphone-being-moved-around noises, but they're not overwhelming. He is a little on the quiet side, but I'm actually going to subscribe to him now regardless, because he's only got one other reading.
Genre: Mental Health
Lily Blossom finds herself lost and overwhelmed in Canterlot, until a friend appears.
These are blind bag ponies, I think, not background ponies, but that doesn't matter. This is a quick demonstration of the concept of "grounding", meant to help pull someone out of a panic attack. Between that and the concurrent demonstration of how to be a helpful and supportive friend, this was all it needed to be. (Though, unrelated sidenote: Does anyone else feel like these sorts of coping methods are infantilizing in some measure? And is that just my bad take, or does it say more about the cold and uncaring society in which we live?) Turns out, you can write these things have them be good stories.
Recommended
I'm Not Small, I'm Aerodynamic! by PonyThunder
Reading by VisualPony
Reading by Midnight29?
Genre: Comedy
Temporarily grounded, Rainbow Dash visits Fluttershy and starts noticing differences in their stature.
Even before I saw the cover, I knew this had to be inspired by viwrastupr's "Smol Dash" art series. :P Unsurprisingly, this is exactly the kind of light, cute comedy that gets a thousand votes because it's easy to digest and the cover clues you in on exactly what you're getting into. The concept is fun because, well, Rainbow Dash acts like a kid most of the time, why not have her be short? And the execution works because it's very clear that Fluttershy is enjoying the hell out of this. If you like fun, cute stuff, you'll like this!
Recommended for Laughs
They'll Grow With Them by LightOfTriumph
Reading by The Eclectic Phoenix
Hey, it's Fimfiction's own LyraAlluse! :O This was good, she's got a strong voice, good pacing and mixed the background music well. There are a few mistakes left in, especially in the intro. Speaking of which, it's 3 minutes long because of three separate "before I get to the fic" segments. Ultimately, this is forgivable, because A) the second one is relevant to her readings, and B) the third is a call to support the author. So yeah. It's a shame this is her only reading!
Genre: Dramedy
Big changes are coming for Bright Mac and Pear Butter.
I have to say, as a story, this is a little unfocused, jumping from idea to idea, making sure to get in things like where the intertwined trees came from regardless of whether they fit, and having Granny Smith and Pear Butter hash things out possibly a lot later in their relationship than is reasonable. But I dare say there's no better story in MLP:FiM than that of the stairs Apples and Pears, and I really do like seeing authors resolve its pieces. Plus, the comedy was surprisingly good. Every bit of it evolves naturally from the characters and the scene they're in. The author wisely avoided most of it during the Granny/Buttercup scene, but there's still laughs to be had. So yeah, overall, I'd say I liked this despite its flaws, and those flaws might not even be worth mention!
Recommended
Home Sweet Home: A Candy-Mare Tale by Knackerman
Reading (part 1) by Scribbler, et. al.
Sequel to Something Sweet to Bite
Genre: Historical/Horror
Something ancient, evil and terrifying is brewing in the fledgling nation of Equestria…
I don't actually remember reading Something Sweet to Bite. I gave it a negative review because apparently it was more gory than scary, but I really have no memory of reading the story. Which is to say, that I really liked this I think speaks to the author's growth. This was a very surprising piece, and I found myself swept along by quite a lot of its action.
For instance, the first chapter (by the reading's reckoning; it kind of bundles chapters together) gives us three scenes: Star Swirl attending the very first Hearth's Warming play, a long series of journal entries from a grieving widow reunited with the daughter she thought dead, and then Hansel and Gretel (they're literally called that, even!) lost in the snow. The scenes aren't immediately connected, but once they do, well, let's just say the odd choice to straight up the names of characters from a fairy tale became exceedingly clever.
The horror inherent in the journal entries is what really dragged me in. You have this woman who's given up on ever seeing her family again after they disappeared, overjoyed to see her daughter again and then slowly coming to realize that whatever this is, it is not her daughter. On top of that, she's fallen ill and is constantly questioning her own sanity, even as she knows that she's not crazy. And then we get the reveal at the end of her part, and it was rather amazing.
The historical stuff comes into play a little later, and deals with the (gruesome) death of Private Pansy as well as troubles confounding a young Equestria. And if there's any reason to read this story, it's the fantastic and unexpected world-building. You've got that first Hearth's Warming play, the portrayals of historical characters including young Celestia and Luna, and the troubles that lead to a threat of windigoes returning.
Beyond that, I was really impressed by the story's own mythology. I do recall from Something Sweet that the main monster was foals made of candy who sang a creepy version of the Nightmare Night song. And when that happens directly in the story, I'm thinking, wait, no, Nightmare Moon hasn't even happened yet! But then we get the explanation, and I found it fascinating. You don't usually read horror stories for world-building, but this one's was great!
Which isn't to say that it's not gory, just that gore isn't the main event here. (Though there's one piece of fanart in the reading which I had to tab away from. c.c I guess I do have limits.) Like I said, the widow's journal is excellent, as is the buildup to Pansy's eventual downfall. Seeing the laying of the building blocks and the way her situation interacts with them was horrifically tense!
Which is all to say, this won't be to everyone's liking, but if you do like this kind of thing? Definitely read it. I hope Scribbler does the finale, because that's for sure the only way I'll get around to it. :B Highly Recommended for Horror Fans
Recommended
28 Pranks Later was its actual title. A good reference for the target audience, there.
Another excellent roundup - I feel like I don't say this nearly enough, so... Thank you for doing these, I always look forward to and enjoy them!
I have a feeling that Scribbler was inspired by traditional vampire lore where their nature as unwanted guests and predatory aspects made them analogous and interwoven with depictions of sexual abuse and all the fears related to it. I really appreciated this parallel, unintended or otherwise, because it’s just something that is too fundamental to vampire lore for me to get behind the romantic depictions of them. They’re just too creepy for me!
And here I thought that the title was just an archaic word I had no knowledge of.
Thanks for the review!
The Carapace that did the reading for Grounding is, in fact, not the site Carapace though they share the same name.
Grounding was written after one of my cover artist friends shared works they did of very pretty merchandise ponies so I decided to write about them. I agree it's really a more straightforward method of presenting that concept that in reality doesn't always work that well but hey, guess it made for a cute story lol.
Thanks again for reading!
I'm 100% with you there, buddy.
On the story supposedly published in 2014 but with no comments before 2020, I have some stories like that as well. I created the story one year (usually as a write-off entry I wanted to check the formatting on, before you could do that on the write-off site), but then didn't get around to revising and actually publishing for years afterward.
I recall being really frustrated by Konseiga's story. I suppose it may be considered a headcanon issue, but I just can't get into any story that's ever dared to suggest that Princess motherbucking Luna doesn't have complete control of her dreams. Heck, even in-show she had to create an artificial lifeform to force them upon her.
I'm pretty sure the story was released before that was canon though, so I guess it's an unfair criticism.
5437745
You are correct. ;)
5437746
That's good to know, thank you! :D
5437752
Yeah. I've actually got one that could be like that if I ever finished it. <.< It's just so weird to see.
5437850
Thanks for so much good work, Scribs. :D
5437850
POGGERS
Thanks a lot for your reviews. There's some real winners on here. Glad to be reviewed with them.
Thanks to the readers, writers, and reviewers that make this site and this fandom so much fun.
5437871
5437857
I'm curious, which image was it that made you click away?
5437893
This bizarre hairy meatball hated by parents is what I did not know I needed in my life.
ISSAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SONOFABITCH IN SPACE
5437895
The pan up along the table scene. Also what happened to Pansy. c.c I guess I don't deal with eyeless ponies well!
Glad you enjoyed:
The reading. I've got another of the Baal Bunny Discord stories on tap next--it's all about finding the proper theme music...
Mike
Also, I was doing a crossword puzzle yesterday where the clue referenced Uttar Pradesh. It got me laughing again. Dammit, PP.
5438094
:3
Let’s see...
I like Vamp too, but that ending ending left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe if this wasn’t the post toon kritic fandom it wouldn’t have bothered me as much, but maybe that played a bigger part in my distaste for an otherwise great story
Oh hey! Ribons autism awareness reading ^.^
Boy I need to get back to pride of the apples :/ which which I argue is a slightly better awareness story, but I won’t disagree there has to be a better way to write them as, no disrespect to the author and my fandom sister, but I felt the same way after the story
5438250
I'm curious as to your logic of how ToonKritic has any bearing on Vampiolence.
I did indeed write that immortality angst back in high school, mostly on a sliding phone... Or was it my first smart phone now that I think about it... Anyways, It was definitely that long ago and it was at a point in my life where I had only really gotten into reading in the past 2 years or so. I still had that newfound glee of overusing pointless poetics to seem more profound and emotional.
This monologue is quite literally full circle of where the inspiration came from. The song that inspired me to write that was inspired by a completely different fanfic in the same vain. Funny how the world turns.