TTISI: Noita (aka: WHY IS THERE ACID EVERYWHERE- OH GOD I’M ON FIRE-) · 3:54am Jan 3rd, 2021
So, I saw this guy, called Albino, talk about a rogue like game called Noita, where it’s frustrating, complex, secretive, and it’s the embodiment of arsonists... so obviously I wanted to play it.
BeeP
Big bird... three eggs... big bird fucking abandons her children........ one egg cracks and makes a... lake? Blood? An omelette? Doesn’t matter cause Doritos were born then and there. As well as cold and sparkly cheese dust apparently. Oh- and... is this telling me Doritos created technology? What the fuck kinda world did I step into?
BeeP
Okay, so, I’m like a wizard or something? Why else would I be wearing this hood. *takes out another wand* what’s this one do? *fires, a bomb pops out*... OH SHI- *Blows up*
BeeP
Are those zombies, and people sick of American campaign ads? Either way, they look pissed. Oh, what’s down here- *falls into a small lake of acid* AAAAAAAAAAAA-
BeeP
So, am I supposed to go down?... what if I tried to go further right?
BeeP
Oh cool, a pyramid! *blows open door* damn, it’s pretty cool in- *monsters come in* OH JESUS CHRI- *dies*... IS THERE ANYTHING THAT WON’T KILL ME!?!?
BeeP
Oh cool, there’s a portal in the deep parts of the mines. I wonder what- *a fire monster rushes in* OH SHIT- *shoots it, but it bleeds lava* FUCK- *throws flask of water, which kinda helped but I didn’t notice how well it helped since I was burning to death* Dammit all.
BeeP
Okay, this is probably gonna somehow, some way, bite me in the ass, but I want to try something... *pools water on lava, it turns to some sort of stone* !!! *gasps in excitement as I remember seeing a lake of lava*
BeeP
This is one ominous fucking bridge. *crosses it no problem* oh... I expected something to jump out... oh well. *finds an orb in the middle of a giant room* what is this place? *a title card comes up, saying “The Orb Room”* Ah, of course. *picks up the orb, maximum hp extends a bit* Yes! *hears a distant rumble*... That doesn’t sound good.
*I start walking back, when suddenly a giant monster pops up from below the bridge* I KNEW IT- *goes blind* OH FUCK- *I flail around aimlessly and die* oh come on man!
BeeP
*travelled farther* I wonder how deep this place- *dies from a turret. No, not a monster, a mechanized, functional, modern, ballistic turret.*.... I have several questions
BeeP
I’m starting to think that everything, including my own spells, are trying to kill me... oh hey, what does the saw do? *it flies forward.... before coming around and slicing me.*... I don’t know why I expected it to work like Mega Man 2.
BeeP
Enter the gungeon
Hades
Is a good game too, Hades idk if you will like.
5427780
Enter the gungeon is fun just got it for xbox yesterday, binding of isaac is great too.