• Member Since 24th Sep, 2019
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

TheClownPrinceofCrime


Every day is always crazy!

More Blog Posts768

Dec
22nd
2020

My Review of Pocahontas · 6:18pm Dec 22nd, 2020

Rating Scale:

12/10—a complete masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome film with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; it is something I might watch again
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made

***********

Hey, guys. Here is my review of Disney’s Pocahontas. Wow, Disney had the audacity to make an animated film based on a historical figure and managed to make it one of the most memorable films of all time. Of course, they had to twist those historical events into their own fantasy version of the said character. It’s what they do best. They did the same thing with Hercules, Hunchback of Notre Dame, and even the Lion King since that movie was inspired by Kimba the White Lion which they stole from.

But anyway, I won’t judge this film based on the historical inaccuracy thereof but more on its own merits. So here we go:

1). The titular character is very interesting to say the least. However, there is one particular main thing I don’t like about this movie... it is heavily inspired by an old story of Romeo and Juliet. So here is my confession: I despise the Romeo and Juliet story and every single movie that is inspired by it. I don’t know why, but I never get a sense of satisfaction or see any interesting characteristics from them. True, there’s always gonna be a member of a faction or tribe or family who may not be subservient to the customs or ways of the said group, but there’s also the case of either the “Romeo” or the “Juliet” being... deceptive. Thus, chaos and death will ensue. If Hasbro would even DARE make a Transformers movie that is inspired by Romeo and Juliet, I will lose my fucking shit and not watch it at all.

I’m serious, that story is heavily overused, and it is a gimmick to inspire romance and love. You can do that without going through that R&J path. I hope you guys can respect my opinion on this and understand me.

2). John Smith (voiced by Mel Gibson) is honestly boring. I don’t give a fuck about him or his adventures.

3). As usual, this film has great animation, impressive character designs, and good editing. But the story—as I already mentioned—is a complete “nope” for me. Just... no thank you.

4). Governor Ratcliffe was honestly one of the only good parts of this movie. I like his charisma, slyness, cunning, snarky demeanor, and overall humorous personality. But I don’t like his excessive greed or shortsightedness. However, his own song “Mine, mine, Dig, Dig” was incredibly catchy, and I would rewatch it over and over again. You can tell the late David Ogden Stiers had so much fun playing the villain. Gosh, he was such a talented voice actor. 😔

5). Meeko (hmm, that name is surely familiar 😏), Percy, and Flit were very entertaining and funny to watch. I laughed at how the raccoon kept messing around Percy whenever food is involved! Good job, Megatron, for voicing that precious hummingbird! And props to the Dark Knight for voicing Thomas in this movie. 😉

6). Last but not least:

Oh. My. Goodness!! This song is dark, catchy, and so EPIC! It is filled with sinister tones of both armies having hatred and prejudice for each other. They get ready for war and to sound those trumpets as they march onward to battle. This is until... Pocahontas intervened to save her love interest. Man, Disney had the backbone to handle the topic of racism in a kids’ movie... especially in a movie that is rated G!

Alas, that is all I have for this film. Great songs, great animation, excellent humor, and lovable side characters. But the generic, boring story inspired by a ridiculous tale brings this way low for me. 4/10.

Sorry, but not sorry.

Comments ( 5 )

That's a pity.

I don’t know why, but for some reason…

“Pocahontas” is the one animated film from the Disney Renaissance that I’m interested in seeing Disney do a live-action remake of. Both because of the movie’s lack of historical accuracy and how much potential there is in creating a live-action remake of this very film.

5572184
It would appear you’re in luck. Granted, the article is two years old, but it might or might not happen. But here it is.

5572216
:twilightsmile:Thanks for showing me this.

Login or register to comment