Totally legit, not-at-all bullshit epilogue to What You Deserve based on feedback · 10:01pm Dec 16th, 2020
<Long intro detailing how Cozy Glow started attending school and now sees Sunset as her mother>
"So how was school today?" Sunset asked as she put down the dinner on the table. "Did you do anything fun?"
"Yes," Cozy smiled. "Cheerilee was sick today, so me and Silver Spoon decided to practise for the music showcase and then some other students joined in and everybody danced!"
Then all of a sudden and out of nowhere, the room lit up by a flash of light and a drop of water to reveal Discord in all his chaos-y glory.
"Hello~ children!" He said in a booming voice. "Hope I'm not interrupting your moment."
Cozy Glow immediately hid behind Sunset, clinging to her as tight as she could.
"Discord!" Sunset roared. "Please leave. You're scaring Cozy Glow."
"Gee, Sunset. Didn't you get the memo from the fanbase?" A huge scroll appeared in his hands which promptly unraveled itself, going far into the corridor. "It clearly says that nobody is allowed to see Cozy Glow as anything other than unrepentantly evil or that her fate was anything other than deserved and justified."
"Are you insane!?" Sunset yelled. "Nobody deserves to be turned into stone. She's just a little kid! And for that matter, you're the last thing in the universe that get to judge her. You where the one to put her in this mess in the first place! And how can you defend this when you've been stoned twice!?"
Discord rolled one of his eyes. "I've been stoned way more than that, honey. But that's beside the point." He leaned closer, suddenly holding a magnifying glass and wearing a doctor coat. "I see you've been affected by independent fanfic writer diverging morality syndrome. It's such a shame when that gets in the way of a good, singleminded narrative."
"Get used to it," Sunset replied and embraced the panicking little girl. "I don't care if everyone in Equestria disagree with me. I'll never abandon her!"
"Dann muss ich die erchießen," Discord said as a ball of purple light appeared in his hand. "Der Führerbefehl verbietet jede vergebung!"
Discord flung the ball of energy at Sunset. It hit her gay in the face, sending the ghost of DarkHooves, which had infected her until now, back to whatever world e came from, where logic and reasoning it put before obvious attempts at manipulation by mouthbreathing morons, who really shouldn't ever be allowed to pick up a pencil, or have any input at all in anything creative, least all for children again...
"Sunset!" Cozy Glow cried. "Sunset! Are you okay!?"
When the sick Video Toaster effect ended, Sunset glared down at the girl. "What are you doing here, evil, unredemable <no-age-specified> villain?"
Cozy Glow's eyes welled up with tears. "Wh-What...?"
"Are you threatening me!?"
"No! Please, Sunset! You're all I have left!"
Sunset shrugged. "No matter. I guess me and my friends will just have to punish you as the criminal that you are."
The door opened to reveal the human versions or Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, all wielding their dumb, magical schoolgirl outfits in their hands.
"We came as soon as we could, Sunset," human Twilight said.
"LIGHT HER UP, GIRLS!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled.
All of them (minus Cozy) started floating in the air, gathering power.
Then they fired their lazer in the crying girl's face.
Then they stopped floating.
Then they hugged in celebration of vanquishing this horrible monster from this world.
Then they noticed the human statue in Sunset's apartment.
"Great..." Sunset said. "What am I supposed to do wi--"
"WE CAN UNPETRIFY HER AT ANY POINT!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled at nobody in perticular.
"Thanks for clearing that up, darling," Rarity replied.
"As I tried to say," Sunset began. "What am I supposed to do wi--"
"BUT WE WON'T BECAUSE SHE'S TOTALLY TOO EVIL TO HAVE AROUND!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled at nobody in perticular.
"Makes sense to me," Rainbow Dash said.
"As I tried to say," Sunset began, again. "What am I supposed to do wi--"
"OTHERVISE WE COULD HAVE JUST IMPRSONED HER AND NOT PETRIFIED HER AT ALL!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled at nobody in perticular.
"My part in this story is done now," Discord said and GTFO'd.
"As I tried to say," Sunset began, again, again. "What am I supposed to do wi--"
"Do you think she really was a child?" Fluttershy asked to nobody in perticular.
"Probably not," Twilight replied. "I mean, she looks, acts and think just like a child, but why would a child become such a nasty villain?"
"As I tried to say," Sunset began, again, again, again. "What am I supposed to do wi--"
"Maybe she's just the victim of some horrible circumstance that messed up her child brain into thinking she had to perform villainous actions," Rarity suggested.
"Or perhaps she had some ambiguous, Hollywood personality disorder that made her this way," Rainbow added.
"Or maybe, she was created by some idiot writer who threw this dumb idea about a child being the villain as a cheap twist at the end of a season of a show without stopping to think about the ramifications of said character, therefore making the heroes of the show act appear like hypocrites," Applejack said.
...
They all bursted out laughing.
"Yeah right!" Rainbow exclaimed. "She must have just been a demon or something."
"It's the only way it makes any sense," Fluttershy agreed.
"She was really evil after all," Applejack agreed-agreed.
"AND PRINCESS TWILIGHT IS GOOD AND NICE AND PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY, SO YOU CAN NEVER ACCUSE HER OF BEING NOT-GOOD OR NOT-NICE OR NOT-PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY, NO MATTER WHAT SHE DOES!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled-yelled-yelled.
"But what am I supposed to do with this statue in my home?" Sunset said and gestured to the lawn ornament in her kitchen. "It's taking up the whole dining area."
"Why don't we just put it in some public place where wind, weather and property damage can slowly chisel away at it until it dissappears forever?" Celestia and Luna suggested.
"That's a great idea!" Twilight exclaimed.
"But it's too big to fit through the door," Rarity pointed out.
"LEAVE THIS TO ME GIRLS!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled and fetched her family's stone cutting tools from her ass hair. "AND REMEMBER THAT WE CAN TOTALLY TURN HER BACK WHENEVER WE WANT!!!"
But before she could get to work on the statue, the door bursted open to reveal a sad, pathetic loser who get's off on being a little bitchboi who constantly repeats the same tired lines over and over again without offering anything of value to the discussion and who lacks any sort of intelligent thought to not keep pestering other people about their stupid beliefs regardless of how many times you try and reason with them and who also lacks rudimentary human nature to walk off and let things be and basic fucking sentance structure.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The sad, pathetic loser said.
"Can we help you?" Applejack asked.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The one who get's off on being a little bitchboi said.
"So first you complain we're not treating Cozy Glow as a villain and now you're complaining we are," Rainbow Dash summarised.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The one who constantly repeats the same tired lines over and over again said.
"Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The one who doesn't offer anything of value to the discussion said.
"So, do you have anything constructive to say, darling?" Rarity asked.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The one who lacks any sort of intelligent thought to not keep pestering other people about their stupid beliefs regardless of how many times you try and reason with them said.
"Or anything original at all?" Twilight asked.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The one who also lacks rudimentary human nature to walk off and let things be said.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!!!???" Pinkie Pie yelled.
"You're not. Acting the way I want you. To act!" The and basic fucking sentance structure said.
Sunset looked at the others and saw they all shared a look of agreement. They all raised their sharpened dresses...
-
Later at the park!
-
"I like this outcome," Cozy Glow said as she looked upon the petrified remains of the sad, pathetic loser who get's off on being a little bitchboi who constantly repeats the same tired lines over and over again without offering anything of value to the discussion and who lacks any sort of intelligent thought to not keep pestering other people about their stupid beliefs regardless of how many times you try and reason with them and who also lacks rudimentary human nature to walk off and let things be and basic fucking sentance structure.
"You're still on probation," Sunset warned. "I just realised that there are much worse people than you running around... You'll be living with me and I'll take care of you, but you'll be making sure not to go back in your ways AND give me regular reports on your efforts in making friends and being a good person."
"Yes, mom," Cozy replied. "I mean ma'am! I mean Sir! I mean--!"
"Just eat your sandwich," Sunset interrupted.
"But what about Discord," Cozy wondered.
Sunset pointed towards the other end of the park, where a suspiciously Discord-shaped statue now stood.
Or atleast it had been Discord-shaped until Fluttershy borrowed Pinkie's family's stone cutting tools...
"IT'S A HAPPY ENDING FOR EVERYONE!!!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "AND REMEMBER THAT WE CAN TOTALLY TURN THEM BACK WHENEVER WE WANT!!!"
Can you please delete this?
I'm sorry but this is not something i want to see at all in my feed, even if it is an obvious shitpost.
5416750
I have no idea how this ended up in your feed in the first place.
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I'm following you on the website.
5416750
You should be able to remove it by unfollowing and refollowing. That's what I do.
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Kk
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Did it work?
5418634
Yep.
5419917
Nobody cares what you think.
You don't like it, don't read it.
Okej.
NOW I'm done!
Sorry, DjWolfyK if this ends up in your feed again. I have no idea if updating blog posts notify your followers, but if it does I am sorry and if not then I guess I'm not sorry.