Story descriptions, Done Right!™ · 12:34am Dec 15th, 2020
This is a re-post of a thread I just created for the The Writer's Group. I'm cross-posting it into my blogs for those interested who aren't in that group, and for my own easy reference later because Writer's Group threads get buried fast.
I was asked in a PM recently for some thoughts/advice on writing story descriptions. Aside from of course being flattered that someone would want my take on it, I think this could help more than just one person, so I thought I'd write (okay, fine, more like copy/paste) a thread for everyone interested in what I've learned about describing a story.
The biggest thing to remember about story descriptions on FimFiction is that they need a short and a long description. Sort of. Sometimes a good short description can also double as your long description, so focus on getting the short description figured out first, and focus on making it really good if you can. You might be able to just reuse it. Even if you can't, though, once you have a good short description, it's easier to expand it out a little with more flesh to make a long description out of it. The other way around is harder; taking a long description and trying to chop it down to a short description is tough because you're probably already at the bare bones and the feeling of losing something vital no matter what you cut is going to make you endlessly second-guess.
A good description should be an offer, not an explanation. It shouldn't be the goal of a description to explain what your story is about. It can do that, of course, because explaining certain things is one possible way of presenting an offer. I can explain in my story description that Daring Do is going on an exciting adventure, and that'll work okay because it offers the reader the exciting experience of following Daring Do on that adventure. Sure, some readers will probably want to read it. But it can also be done in a much less explanatory style: "The snapping jaws of bloodthirsty alligators! Death-defying acrobatic stunts! Quick-witted escapes from devious traps! Will Daring Do get through it all, and will she make it home with the Golden Puffin MacGuffin?" This makes makes the same offer, and probably makes it better, because it's not just the offer of adventure, but also goes further and evokes the central tension of the story. That uncertainty is actually the more important part of the story's reading experience to offer. Will Daring Do make it through it all? Readers already know the answer is (probably) yes, but even so, in spite of what they already know, this story is set up as a nail-biter, and that's how people go into it. I didn't explain the story. In fact, that description wasn't very narratively 'descriptive' at all - it was more of a jumbled montage of rapid-fire action clips than any kind of explanation of plot. But what matters is, I evoked what readers would find engaging and exciting about it. That's what makes them want to read it.
Notice what I'm doing with a description like this. I'm evoking the core engagement feature(s) of the story. I'm conveying the feel of the story. That's what story descriptions should do. They make the pitch to potential readers: "This description made you feel a certain way, so read the story to engage with that feeling further and more deeply!"
And of course, story descriptions should do this by showing, not telling. Show readers what's in your story that makes it evoke the feel that it has. Don't make the mistake of trying to just tell them that it will make them feel a certain way or cover certain narrative points. Telling lacks credibility.
I think the best in-the-wild example I can give you off the top of my head would be the descriptions for my story The Candy Maker:
I really think the descriptions for this story were a key part of getting it into the feature box. They don't strictly 'describe' the story, in the sense of narrative summary. But they feel like the story does. Try to make your story descriptions feel like the story. That's what keys in readers to what to expect, and that's what makes them want to read.
Well said! I've come to think of think of the fimfic story descriptions as a sort of proto-hook; a lure to read the actual first sentence.
This is good advice, all around. Framing your description as an offer is an interesting phrasing that I never considered before.
That said, I often caution against using questions in descriptions, precisely because the answer is often obvious. You want to entice readers, and asking a rhetorical question often does the opposite. It makes it painfully clear what is going to happen, because the answer is generally obvious.
Wow! This was very helpful for me!