Colter reviews: Friday the 13th Equestria Girls series. · 7:05am Dec 8th, 2020
My book shelf of the stories.
Credit to vincenteortiz99 for writing the stories, Paramount Pictures and Warner Bros. Pictures for United States and European distribution of the Friday the 13th films respectively, Hasbro for Equestria Girls and My Little Pony as a whole, and you for bearing with me through this wall of text if you're still reading this.
Now to the actual review.
Also some spoilers for the Friday the 13th films.
The Friday the 13th series of films, for those who may be part of the population who either never heard of them, or only know Jason Voorhees from Mortal Kombat X/XL, can be unjustly, though not inaccurately, be summarized as, "angry person kills without remorse only to be stopped at the end of the current film."
Notice how i said, 'person' as opposed to, 'man.'
The very first film actually has the mother of Jason, Pamela Voorhees, as the killer up until her death.
Pamela went on her killing spree because her son, Jason was drowned in a lake.
Jason came back to see his mother die, and then slash, stab, and generally brutalize his way through multiple re-openings of a renamed Camp Crystal Lake, a boat, New York City, even space.
The difference between Pamela and Jason is that when Pam died, she stayed dead.
The fanfic series i look at today sees Jason meeting the Main 7 from MLP EQG, having him be redeemed and forgiven, and go through an 8 story series of fights against Gaea Everfree, who had fought, and killed his mother back in the days before he literally walked out of Crystal Lake.
Or should i say right as he walked ashore?
Also, much like the films, the fifth story has someone impersonating Jason. So yeah. Why did that happen?
Either way, the writing is pretty.... Weird.... The story is nice, and actually brings the Rainbooms and Jason back to locations from his heyday, as well as bringing back Tommy Jarvis, who many fans of Friday the 13th
(Calling it F13th hitherforth.) will remember as the man who accidentally brought Jason back from the dead in the films, as an ALLY to the Rainbooms.
The spelling and punctuation are perfect.
The grammar is forgivable.
The pacing, on the other hand.....
Oof.
I felt like I was looking at a parody of F13th starring Goro Majima from the Yakuza series with how quickly things went up and down.
Each chapter on every story of the series is less than 1000 words long.
Most being less than 500 words.
Even then, I can actually see the events described happening in a much more realistic pace, even as I go from reading about Gaea stepping in a bear trap (twice across two encounters.... Really?) to Jason and the Rainbooms in an 8 on 1 fight against what is essentially Jason as a woman.
Also Jason has a voice in this fanfic and i cannot unhear him in my younger brother's voice from when he was 10.
Because, despite his physical appearance, Jason died at like.... 7 years old.
Overall, this series is something i like to categorize as a newly discovered guilty pleasure.
The pacing is really my only gripe but the fan service and mental image of Pinkie Pie slamming a pickaxe into a pink hockey mask alone are enough to have kept me reading.