I Have a Real Problem (no, I'm being wholehearted and serious right here. This is supposed to be an intervention!...kinda) · 4:36am Dec 4th, 2020
Ladies and gentlemen, my name's Ribe and I'm an alcoholic.
Room of AA members: ''Hi, Ribe!''
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No, no. That's not what this is about. I do have a problem, but it's not being an alchy. That comes later at night 
My problem is that I swear far too much. Don't think it sounds bad? Well, you know there's an issue going on when you say a variation of the word ''fuck!'' between every few words in every sentence. It's worse more when I'm tired than when I'm rested. (Let's be honest, I don't have a proper basis for comparison on the 'rested' side of things given I hardly am ever rested, which is why I'm so short with others and why I always sound terrible and have zero energy. Today is a prime example. I haven't slept yet and it's almost 4:35am.)
No, but seriously, I can't for the life of me stop swearing excessively for no reason. I don't have to think, I just do it on automatic response. I don't even have to be mad, it happens mostly in general speaking. I have this nagging off-putting sensation that makes me think it puts off other people when I swear like this and say some pretty messed up combinations on a whim. I can spout things you wouldn't think of yourself, like I have this Galactic Dictionary of Unheard Phrases and Other Horseshit Words on-deck in my brain...which could very well explain more than a couple things. 
So the point of this, if you've ever heard my voice at times, you can immediately hear for yourself what I'm talking about. Some friends call me ''aggressively British'' (they aren't wrong either! 
) but if my swearing does bother you, whatever I say and wherever it might be (probably in my earliest YT readings), this is me trying to say sorry if I made you uncomfortable or put you off. Sowwy. 
I don't even talk much in-person. I'm a very quiet human being, but when I speak and provided I'm comfortable enough around you, your ears will have a front row seat with a VIP ticket to a very strange, often-humorous and downright perplexing string of words, turn of phrases and my brain transforming any basic/general sentence into something sexually suggestive or simply dirty. It's a gift, not gonna lie!
Well, that's all I wanted to get off my hairy chest, so...thank you very much, Mister Bastard and Good night morning! 
