• Member Since 14th Jul, 2018
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Gundamfan


A fan of GIANT military mechs, ponies, video games, ECT.

More Blog Posts35

  • 26 weeks
    This part of my life can go die.

    The water heater isn't hesting water and the AC isn't working right. Turns out its a likely bad breaker box. Told my older brother about it, and after a short conversation, he rats on my younger brother, who comes in my room asking if i said anything about him. Right at that moment, dad gets out of the normally hot but now cold shower and hears us, and he ask to see the text my older brother

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    3 comments · 92 views
  • 27 weeks
    Unbearably hot right now.

    90 degrees today. When its hot, trying to sleep is pretty much impossible. The blankets will just make you hotter to the point your sweating. Its hell.

    At least when your cold you dont emit a sticky smelly liquid.

    0 comments · 42 views
  • 28 weeks
    Goddamn water heater needs replacing.

    Just my fucking luck. Unless some of us dont mind cold water, we'll have to shower at our aunts.

    0 comments · 32 views
  • 29 weeks
    Awful ear infection.

    Its been hell for me. In addition to an ear infection, its also accompanied by a strong headache and pain in my teeth.

    5 comments · 104 views
  • 36 weeks
    Found out My aunt just died this morning.

    Found it out a few minutes ago from my dad. Is there ANY good news? ANY good news at all??

    3 comments · 61 views
Nov
21st
2020

I cant take it anymore. · 10:09pm Nov 21st, 2020

Apart from spending another day in bed, Had another angry outburst today, and argued with my younger brother over money, getting work and being independent. Ended up flipping over a small table, threw a few things at the wall, and even came close to punching him. People like me don't deserve happiness, love and purpose. Not after my actions today. Anthony, Bailey, please stop trying to help me. Im not worth saving. Im a failure. A complete fucking failure.

Report Gundamfan · 166 views ·
Comments ( 9 )

That's the stupidest FUCKING lie I've ever heard. You are not a failure. You may be down on your luck but no one is a failure.

*takes all the meanie thoughts and replaces it with snuggles*

Sounds as though you're in a rather bad place, I always find others to be a good way of getting out, we don't know each other, but that is something that can be remedied, care to talk about it?

You're not a failure. No one is a failure. You were put here for a reason.

5402584
I'll think about it

I really do think you need to see a therapist. And I think your family should undergo some counseling as well. The dynamic is continuing to deteriorate and none of you deserve that. I don't know you well, and I certainly don't know these Bailey or Anthony individuals, but I know they're not going to stop helping you just because you told them to. I wouldn't either. Your self-hate is trying to push people away so you can't hurt them, and that's just one of the many insidious methods it uses to try and isolate you. I really do worry about you and I want to see things improve for you, but you gotta find someone to open up to, and a therapist is a viable option. Seriously, random people who don't even know what you look like, sound like, or where you live care about your wellbeing. That alone proves you deserve to be happy.

Comment posted by Gundamfan deleted Nov 30th, 2020

5407229
Their my brothers. They both believe i have gotten grouchy and irritable after being cooped up in my house for so long. Anthony on occasion will invite me over to his house. While i do enjoy visiting, it isn't enough. I'd prefer seeing my old friends but their too busy with work and school. And therapy is expensive. Im turning 23 this weekend, and everyone wants to try to make it special. One more month and this year is over. Fuck you, 2020!

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