fJd Review: Death of a Queen by Arkane12 · 5:13pm Nov 2nd, 2020
Overview:
Chrysalis has done a great many terrible things to Equestria, all in the name of greed and hunger both. Now she has a chance to make up for perhaps her greatest crime: The murder of Princess Celestia. How can she make up for that? By saving her life.
My Thoughts:
So, I went into this thinking that I was reading a story from Chrysalis’ point of view, mainly because the long, and short, description seemed to imply it. Now, that’s not to say that I am disappointed. I’m really not. I enjoyed reading this. Chrysalis may not have received all of the attention, but she wasn’t deprived either. It’s just that other characters got to shine as well. Which is a pleasing find, actually.
It’s a pretty promising story so far. I’ve enjoyed all that I have read, though I have some concerns here and there. Honestly, I love the drama that unfolds, the conflict between so many characters is rather thrilling. So, there’s actually a bit more to it than meets the eye. I went in expecting a sort of introspective journey for Chrysalis, and while that is certainly happening, I didn’t know there would be shipping. And I love shipping. There’s romance afoot, but it’s highly controversial in Equestria and it gets a lot of hate pretty quickly. I like how this works, though, even if it does change some characters in ways I find difficult to be patient with.
Still a good read, certainly a story I recommend. An author I would recommend as well, as this one shows definite promise. I really look forward to the rest of this story and any future stories offered by Arkane12.
Characterization:
Princess Celestia
Well, she has spent the majority of this story in a coma. But what little I did see of her actually acting was pretty solid. Inner conflict, experience part and parcel with a life long-lived and ancient, and a strong sense of empathy create an interesting and relatable version of the Diarch. Polyarch?
Queen Chrysalis
Closely resembles her canon counterpart, but with more sass and a little more willingness to listen and interact. Sarcasm is fairly frequent, and she is often cold and uncaring about things. But she evolves, and grows, in powerful ways throughout this story. The newest development has me curious just how else she might grow, or whether she’ll have the chance.
Twilight Sparkle
Properly adorkable. Conflicted, in pain with Celestia in her state, and scared of the worst outcome and her own feelings. She doesn’t like Chrysalis, that’s the general consensus among the cast. All of the cast. But Twilight changes her mind as she gets to know Chrysalis, and eventually lets the changelings’ former queen into her heart. Pretty impressive development with this.
Princess Luna
Angry, insecure, terrified of losing her sister, and brooding. I suppose this is not too dissimilar from her canon counterpart. Still, she’s relatable in her anger, her distrust, and her attitude towards Chrysalis. Particularly with Chrysalis’ attitude towards everything. Luna wasn’t a difficult character to like, although I was curious at how she treated Thorax.
Fluttershy
A sweet, caring character who is honest about her own feelings and still rather timid. She gets little exposure, and is thus far the only other Mane 6 member present in the story. She’s portrayed well, if sparsely, but I think her departure means huge potential for the story. Anyway, I found Fluttershy quite likable.
Princess Cadance
Okay, so this is where I started to feel frustration. Not because the characters weren’t well written, they were written quite well actually. No, I just haven’t run into very many fics that actually make me hate Cadance. Well, more hating how she behaves. Only other time I’ve really run into that is in fellstorm’s “The Prince and the Workhorse” and that was because she was written so well yet so far from her canon. It’s not too different here, really. Her reactions are understandable, honestly I’d have been surprised if she didn’t hold something against Chrysalis.
Shining Armor
He… really got me angry. He came across as selfish, without empathy, and rather controlling. I don’t think that was the author’s intent, and I credit Arkane with having written a very good story with a compelling variation on Shining Armor. Now, that isn’t to say that Shining’s motivations are difficult to understand. Still, it was difficult to take the way it felt like he mistreated Twilight. Though later chapters show some change, some of which is positive. All in all still a solidly written Shining.
King Thorax
I feel so bad for this bug king. He’s treated so poorly all around, and I think it’s his associated with Chrysalis that is responsible. He takes it in stride though, because it is physically impossible for him not to notice. I like his role, though I feel like it could be played up a bit more than it is. Still, considering what is known about Celestia’s infection, it’s probably just right.
Character Development:
It’s primarily Twilight and Chrysalis that really grow throughout this story. Though the focus is more on Twilight, and her various relationships and their complexities, and through this we see how her feelings and thoughts change the way she views them, and the way they view her as well. It’s a pretty solid execution all around.
Theme:
Forbidden love, terminal illness, overprotective family. And these elements are worked in quite naturally. Now that I’ve caught up, I honestly cannot wait to see what happens next in this beautifully dramatic piece.
Logic:
There is not much strain on logic, with Thorax’s treatment being central in my thinking as examples go. But I found little to distract me from the story, little I had to struggle to understand. From ailment, to treatment, to the explosion from the characters this story paces pretty well and offers up enough explanation to keep the reader engaged and understanding.
Rating:
Story Idea: 9.0
(A terrific idea, well executed. The think the romance just adds to it, particularly with the dramatic bits and the tension.)
Writing Style: 9.0
(A very capable writer, though some practice is needed on showing and not telling. Still, the writing is solid, the prose is nice and not overdone. It never felt like someone trying too hard to impress, but someone just wanting to share a good story.)
Entertainment Factor: 8.5
(Well, it wasn’t boring. At all. I definitely loved reading this story, and will continue to love reading it as new chapters release. I find myself interested I knowing how the remaining Mane 6 will react to Twilight’s truth, considering how varied and extreme the reactions of others have been. It’s that factor that ended up being this piece’s bread and butter, the tension built up from hard feelings and lingering resent.)
Inner Logic: 9.0
(I have read a great many stories that have struggled with certain parts of continuity, or to create a believable element to a fantasy setting. Not so with this one. It seems to me this has been well thought out, and while I did find Thorax’s treatment difficult, I really didn’t linger much on any plot points for the sake of confusion.)
Final: 8.88
Feedback/Final Thoughts:
Well, this story is incomplete. That’s a notice to anyone wanting to pick up and read this wonderful story. The update schedule seems pretty solid, 2 chapters were released while the author was waiting for me to finish a previous story for review.
I definitely recommend this story for reading. I’d even go so far as recommend following Arkane12 for future stories as well, since they’re likely to be amazing stories.
Yay